Chapter 82 Heavenly Way (IV) As a result, “Lian Qiang” did not come again,…
Lian Qiang thought Chi Xingji would wake up now, but unexpectedly, his expression did not change, his eyes were clear, but he seemed to be still in a dream.
"You're talking nonsense again." He said with a slightly serious expression, completely unaware that he was the one talking nonsense.
After finally finding him, Lian Qiang didn't want to compete with him, but she couldn't help laughing. She bent her fingers and flicked him in the face.
"Are you awake like this?"
The force of her hit was not strong, but Chi Xingji's eyes became stern. The next moment, Lian Qiang felt that her shoulders were being held.
She expected to see surprise, joy, or some other emotion in the other person's eyes, but no, nothing she expected.
The next sentence almost hit Lian Qiang.
"How did you get here? Why did Jiang Lang let you go?"
As soon as he said that, Chi Xingji regretted it. He should have asked about Lian Qiang's recent situation. She was also exhausted, and he shouldn't have blamed her like that.
Lian Qiang stared at him intently, her heart sinking. In her memory, he rarely spoke so harshly, but Lian Qiang remained unfazed. She simply smiled and said, "This has nothing to do with Jiang Lang. I'm the one who decided to live and die with you."
Her feigned nonchalance stung Chi Xingji, and he quickly decided, "I'll think of a way to get you back soon. You shouldn't stay here for long."
Lian Qiang wanted to laugh. What she was laughing at was, if they could get away so easily as Chi Xingji said, why would they bother keeping these people? What was the suffering of Senior Tan worth mentioning?
She still wanted to laugh at Chi Xingji. At this point, even though this matter was as difficult as climbing to the sky, he still wanted to clean himself up.
"Chi Xingji," Lian Qiang called him as softly as possible, "Do you think I can stay out of this matter now?"
——How easy is that?
This was an answer they both knew well.
Lian Qiang originally wanted to talk about how difficult it had been for her these days, but she didn't say it in the end because she knew that Chi Xingji would look down on it.
She wanted to impress him slowly, slowly, or maybe she just wanted to talk to herself.
"...You and I both know that the road ahead is long, and the return journey may not be smooth. You should also know that when you jumped into the Demonic Abyss with a heart that was as high as yours, I was just as determined as you were.
"You also know that if I leave, we may never see each other again in this life. You obviously miss me so much, to the point of hysteria, but when I stand in front of you, you still dare not recognize me and insist on driving me away."
When Lian Qiang said these words, she felt as if her soul had been separated from her body. She could only calmly watch "Lian Qiang" say these words. She even wanted to applaud and cheer for "her".
At the same time, she was observing Chi Xingji's expression, and after realizing that he hadn't changed at all and said nothing, "her" perfect mask quietly shattered.
She was beginning to suspect that the tearful letter was written by someone else.
Lian Qiang opened her lips, trying her best to make her voice sound steady and not to show any fear, but she couldn't help but ask with a trembling voice, "...Even if you've remembered everything, are you still going to push me away?"
The two fell into silence, which was like a long torture for Lian Qiang at this moment.
She longed for Chi Xingji to say something, do something, scold her loudly, or pull her hand, but he just lowered his head quietly and did nothing.
So this is what happens when your heart has fallen to the point where it can't fall any lower.
"...I understand. If this is what you want, I will grant you your wish." Lian Qiang smiled and turned around without paying attention to Chi Xingji's reaction.
This person really is, she thought, really...
Lian Qiang's thoughts ended with a firm hug that made her stagger. It was a hug that was not hot enough and had a bit of dusty smell.
"I don't want to..." The person behind her slowly tightened his arms around her, so strong that it hurt her a little, "...Don't leave!"
"I won't leave. Will I stay and let you chase me away?" Lian Qiang struggled, only caring about venting her anger, not caring about the smoothness of her words. She tried to hit and kick, but Chi Xingji remained motionless, firmly shackled.
"What I said just now was half sincere and half insincere." Lian Qiang felt a warm breath on her face. Catching the word "sincere", she softened her movements a little.
Noticing her quietness, Chi Xingji didn't know what to say. He could only follow his instinct and said one sentence at a time: "... I thought Jiang Lang had settled everything. I thought... I would never see you again."
He sighed deeply and said, "But you just showed up like that."
Lian Qiang didn't move again.
Since he had already exposed his feelings, the offense and defense were reversed, and now he hoped that the person left by Lian Qiang would be switched, Chi Xingji no longer had to hide it, and simply revealed everything: "The first time I encountered an illusion, I thought you really appeared, I... I was very happy, but I soon found out that it was fake.
"I feel a little lost, but I'm also glad that at least you are safe and sound..."
"...Chi Xingji," Lian Qiang interrupted him, "Did you jump down with the intention of dying?"
The question and the answer were equally heavy. Chi Xingji had no choice but to answer with ambiguous silence.
The person who raised the question happened to be the person who knew him best except himself. He asked him not to know the answer, but just to confirm it again.
"You think that if you die, I can still live well and pretend that I didn't know anything, right?"
Lian Qiang's tears flowed endlessly, and she didn't know when they would stop flowing. She said in a hoarse voice, "Should I still be grateful? Thankful that you planned everything on your own initiative? Thankful that you gave me the immortal root and this cultivation, allowing me to be reborn?"
Chi Xingji remained silent, his strength fading. Lian Qiang seized the opportunity, turned around, and faced him, punching him in the chest repeatedly with both fists.
"Are you so great just because you are an immortal king? Why do you decide everything for me? Why don't you take your own life seriously?" Lian Qiang became more and more excited as he spoke, but his movements became smaller and smaller.
Until, she threw herself into this embrace, wrapped her arms around Chi Xingji's neck, and wiped all her tears on his clothes: "Chi Xingji, why did you abandon me again? I'm really, so sad..."
Lian Qiang thought that this person was really hateful and annoying.
But she was still deeply obsessed with him until her death.
-
Lian Qiang was finally calmed down, and the two of them were able to sit down and sort out the clues. Chi Xingji confessed the source of his change.
"In the Yingxin Mirror, I saw myself leaping into the Demonic Abyss. At the same time, all those forgotten memories came back to me."
He had always been blessed with a natural talent for cultivation, but he had never truly accepted this gift. Chi Xingji had a vague feeling that this extraordinary talent would have to be countered by something.
The moment he saw the image in the mirror, he suddenly realized, but he was unwilling to believe it. He had finally reunited with Lian Qiang, and she even thought that he had lost his memory. This was a godsend opportunity. As long as he continued to move forward smoothly, he could regain what he had lost and finally be happy. Why should he choose another path?
He didn't have time to count down his past memories. He wanted to ignore the future he saw. The idea buried in his heart became stronger and stronger. That was not another choice. That was the path he had to take. Chi Xingji realized this after meeting with the Phoenix Patriarch alone.
At that time, he clearly saw an emotion similar to "reluctance" flash across the clan leader's eyes, and he told him clearly that this was the fate of every person born with sword bones.
"It's always been this way. You don't need to ask me why, and there's no need to resist. It's a matter of course. Otherwise, why do you think I gave up on recruiting you so easily back then?"
At that moment, Chi Xingji felt a chill run down his spine. It turned out he had never escaped his predetermined fate. What Heaven had bestowed upon him, he would sooner or later repay in other ways.
——But why, at this time?
If it were in the past, he would be willing to die. Having lost his memory, he had nothing to be obsessed with. If he could exchange one person's death for something, he would be willing to do so.
But something unexpected happened. Chi Xingji looked straight outside the hall. The door blocked his view, but he knew someone was waiting for him.
Just thinking about it makes his heart soften.
"...You can't bear to leave her?" The person in the lead saw everything and asked suddenly.
Chi Xingji turned around, lowered his eyes, and said, "Yes."
He couldn't bear to see his wife continue to live alone in the world, he couldn't bear to never see her again, he... couldn't bear to see Lian Qiang.
"You two are destined to go your separate ways. A short pain is worse than a long one. Why keep her in suspense for so long? Just let her go soon."
Chi Xingji knew that the clan leader was worried that he would miss Lian Qiang even more in his final days, and thus would be even more reluctant to let her go. Keeping in touch with her was not a good thing for both parties.
But he only bowed and said in a resounding voice:
"I will control myself."
I can control my greed to look at her one more time, I can control my delusion of growing old with her, and I can control my growing love and guilt.
He had already paid back what he owed her, Chi Xingji thought.
During the days in the Demon Realm, Chi Xingji was actually very calm. He regarded it as a stolen opportunity. He tried his best to give Lian Qiang a warm and peaceful life, and also gave himself some stability so that he could face the coming fate more calmly.
He left behind the letter written in blood, repeatedly instructing Jiang Lang word by word, and also left behind the letter of condolence, wanting it to be with Lian Qiang.
The tacit partner of many years was placed on the table, making a buzzing sound of sword. It was reluctant to leave and wanted to keep him, but he was focused and did not look back.
Chi Xingji really thought that his long-cherished wish had been fulfilled and he had no regrets.
But he soon found out that he was wrong. When he first saw "Lian Qiang", he was ecstatic. He rushed forward to hug her, but missed.
At that time, Chi Xingji stared blankly at his empty palm and smiled mockingly.
He didn't lie. He was relieved that it was just his imagination, but also disappointed that it was just imagination.
Chi Xingji thought it was just a one-time hysteria, but when Lian Qiang appeared for the second time, he realized something was wrong—this hysteria seemed to be coming too frequently. But his instinct still wanted to touch her.
Until the third time, Chi Xingji was angry at his selfish fantasy. He must not meet Lian Qiang here. This was the bottom line he had to stick to.
He reminded himself again and again that there would be no more than three times the limit, and he must not let "Lian Qiang" appear again.
As a result, "Lian Qiang" did not come again, and the living Lian Qiang came to him.
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The author has something to say: I wanted to post it at 3 o'clock, but I missed it, so I'll post it at 6 o'clock...
When will my work and writing schedule be less chaotic?
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