Chapter 42 I'm Really Scared
Wu Suowei's struggle and accusation stopped instantly. He widened his tearful eyes in disbelief and stared blankly at Chi Cheng.
Love? Chi Cheng said... love him?
Chi Cheng looked at the shock and confusion in Wu Suowei's eyes, and his heart felt like it was being cut by a knife.
He took a deep breath, his voice filled with great pain.
"Really... I love you... Weiwei..."
"At that time... without you... I really couldn't live..." His voice was choked, and his eyes were filled with bottomless pain and fear that Wu Suowei had never seen before.
"Every day... feels like I'm in hell... looking at your things... thinking about what you said... thinking about how you looked at the end... I wish I could..." He closed his eyes painfully, then opened them again, his eyes filled with thick despair, "But I can't... I can't go with you..."
"Why?" Wu Suowei asked subconsciously, his voice was very soft and trembling.
Chi Cheng closed his eyes, and hot tears finally fell from the corners of his eyes, hitting the back of Wu Suowei's hand, "Jiang Xiaoshuai is missing... Guo Chengyu is looking for him everywhere like crazy... But... But there is still our mother..."
He opened his eyes and looked at Wu Suowei, his eyes filled with endless pain and struggle, "I am the only one she has... I can't... I can't leave her alone... Otherwise..."
He choked up and couldn't say the rest of the words, but his meaning was already very clear.
Otherwise, Weiwei would never let him go.
Otherwise, he would have died with Wu Suowei long ago.
Wu Suowei's heart was hit hard.
Mom... This is why Chi Cheng didn't...
An indescribable bitterness instantly overwhelmed Wu Suowei's anger.
He looked at the man in front of him, tears streaming down his face, trembling with pain, and who had shed all his pride and indifference. For the first time, he felt so clearly the man's desperately deep love and the burden he carried.
"Then...what about that time?" Wu Suowei's voice was hoarse and tearful, and he asked about that desperate moment in his previous life.
Chi Cheng shook his head painfully, his eyes filled with regret: "It's my fault... Weiwei... It's all my fault..."
He hugged Wu Suowei tightly in his arms, his voice breaking, "I know that no matter how I explain, it's useless... but at that time I really didn't think of giving up on you..."
His voice dropped, and he swallowed, filled with endless regret. "I was wrong... so wrong... I'm an asshole... so what if there are those snakes... what... what can be more important than your safety? I just want you to be alive... where I can see you..."
He hugged Wu Suowei tightly, his voice humble as dust, with a desperate plea.
“Afraid…”
"Give me another chance... okay?"
“Please…”
"I really...can't live without you..."
This humble plea, these burning tears, and this hug that almost strangled him, were like a surging tide, instantly breaking down Wu Suowei's last defenses.
His stiff body gradually softened in Chi Cheng's arms and he stopped struggling.
Tears flowed out silently, soaking Chi Cheng's chest.
But... it's too heavy.
The shadow of death in the previous life, the deception after rebirth...
He needs time.
I need space to digest this fact that has overturned everything and to sort out my own equally confused emotions.
Wu Suowei leaned on Chi Cheng's violently heaving chest, listening to his heartbeat like a drum, and remained silent for a long time.
Finally, he raised his hand and gently but firmly pushed away Chi Cheng's arms that were tightly wrapped around his waist.
Chi Cheng's body stiffened instantly, great panic and despair flashed in his eyes, and his arms subconsciously wanted to tighten again.
"Don't..." Wu Suowei's voice was very soft, full of fatigue, but very clear, "Chi Cheng... I... I want to be alone for a while..."
He raised his head, looked into Chi Cheng's eyes, which had dimmed instantly and were filled with fear, and added, "Give me some time... okay?"
Chi Cheng's heart sank to the bottom.
Time? What he feared most was time. He was afraid that Wu Suowei would drift further and further away from him during this time, and that he would lose him again.
But when he looked at the unquestionable fatigue and persistence in Wu Suowei's eyes, he knew he could not force him any further.
He loosened his hands with difficulty, as if he had used up all his strength.
"Okay..." Chi Cheng's voice was hoarse, with a heavy nasal tone and cautious pleading, "Okay... I'll give you time... but..."
He looked deeply at Wu Suowei, his eyes filled with deep attachment and fear, "Don't stay too long... I will... miss you..."
The last two words were as light as a sigh.
Wu Suowei's heart felt like it was pricked by a needle, and he felt a sharp pain.
He didn't dare to look at Chi Cheng's eyes that were filled with pain and pleading. He hummed softly, turned around, and staggered step by step until he disappeared around the corner of the street.
In the room, at Jiang Xiaoshuai's strong request, Guo Chengyu told Jiang Xiaoshuai about the past in detail.
Jiang Xiaoshuai couldn't hold it in any longer. He moved closer to Guo Chengyu, lowering his voice, but loud enough for Chi Cheng to hear. His face was serious, as if to say, "You'd better not lie to me." "Guo Chengyu, are you sure you're not kidding me? This is outrageous!"
Guo Chengyu glanced at Chi Cheng, who remained silent beside him, sighed, and nodded to Jiang Xiaoshuai with an expression more serious than ever before: "I'm not kidding you. It's absolutely true."
Jiang Xiaoshuai took a deep breath, his eyes widening: "So...that's why you..."
He recalled the extraordinary care and protection Guo Chengyu showed him when they first met, even going so far as to offend others in order to get him away from that man.
Guo Chengyu twitched his lips, but his eyes turned cold: "How could I possibly let that scum lay a finger on you again?"
In the previous life, it was that scum who hurt Jiang Xiaoshuai. If he could do it again, the first thing Guo Chengyu would do was to make him disappear.
The harshness in Guo Chengyu's tone warmed Jiang Xiaoshuai's heart.
The security door was pushed open by Chi Cheng.
His face was pale, his eyes were empty, and he looked like his soul had been taken away. He walked in with a heavy look of dejection and despair, sat down on the sofa silently, put his hands in his hair, lowered his head, and exuded a low pressure that kept strangers away.
Jiang Xiaoshuai and Guo Chengyu immediately stopped talking and looked at him nervously.
"Chi Cheng? How is he? Are you afraid of him..." Jiang Xiaoshuai asked cautiously.
Chi Cheng didn't look up. His voice came out from between his fingers, tired and hoarse: "He said... give him some time."
Jiang Xiaoshuai felt bad looking at Chi Cheng, who looked like the sky was falling, a look he had never seen before.
Guo Chengyu told him a lot just now.
At that time, Chi Cheng was actually trying his best to save Wu Suowei, but firstly, Wu Suowei held Chi Cheng's hand tightly, and secondly, Chi Cheng was bitten hard by Huang Long.
After finally dropping the knife, they rushed Wu Suowei to the hospital, but the only response they got was that he could be kept alive for as long as possible.
Wu Suowei stayed in the hospital for two months, and Chi Cheng stayed in the hospital for two months.
Until that desperate buzzing sound completely shattered Chi Cheng's hope.
You must be wrong... Jiang Xiaoshuai didn't know who to blame.
He recalled how Wu Suowei didn't struggle much when Chi Cheng hugged him in the stairwell, and the complicated look in his eyes when he left. "He just...can't accept it right away. He needs some time to digest it. After all...anyone would be confused by this."
What rebirth, what dragon? I don’t know what Wu Suowei and the others have experienced, but Jiang Xiaoshuai can’t imagine it.
After all, it's too unbelievable.
Guo Chengyu patted Chi Cheng's shoulder without saying anything, but his eyes showed the understanding and support between brothers.
The atmosphere is a bit depressing.
Jiang Xiaoshuai looked at Chi Cheng like this, and thought of the pain he had experienced in his previous life. Most of his anger subsided, and he felt more distressed and helpless.
He sighed and comforted her in a rare serious tone, "Actually... Chi Cheng, I think... Dawei doesn't have you out of his heart either. You... you shouldn't push him too hard."
Chi Cheng raised his head and looked at Jiang Xiaoshuai with bloodshot eyes.
He knew it, but he was afraid.
He was afraid that it would take too long, and that Wu Suowei would figure it out and choose to stay away from him.
Every minute and every second without Wu Suowei was torment for him.
He leaned back on the sofa, closed his eyes, and his throat rolled, the sound as light as a sigh.
"……I know."
"But I... am really scared..."
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