Green in the Eyes (2)

Alex knew he was dreaming.

He gradually lost his breath and heartbeat as poisonous blood poured out of his mouth, and his skin turned cold and gray. He was taken to the cemetery amid the desperate cries of his family.

This is the first person.

Inger Nyka died in front of him.

The second person was the loyal maid who died after trying poison for him.

This was the third person who was killed by the assassin instead of him and covered his escape.

Then the demon war began.

The eldest sister Aura went to the battlefield, only to return with news of her death.

The Neka family, who were captured and held hostage by the demons, committed suicide together on the siege wall in front of their son.

On the battlefield that followed, the last Neka, Lanmore, died as his rear guard.

Fleming, the twin brother, died while supporting the first wave of demon invasion on the Eastern Coast Front.

Bibi Dai, who was naturally skilled in wielding a heavy axe, was beheaded and killed.

After killing her brother, the innocent Cheryl committed suicide without hesitation.

The younger brother of his hometown where he grew up, the younger brother who loved to run freely on the plains, was trampled to death on the battlefield.

The handsome boy I met at the seaside was also buried in the sea during the coastal defense battle.

College teachers and retired veterans died on the battlefield one after another.

It was an endless cemetery.

The kindhearted Noriva who came to support us from the rear died of overwork. She loved money so much during her lifetime, but she died penniless.

Kunpeu, who had been with him for nearly ten years, also died for him. His smile was one of relief and comfort.

He said it was a great honor to die for my only master.

Archbishop Bisi led the people of the Goddess Church to purify the earth, and finally burned himself and returned to the embrace of the Goddess.

………………

There are many unknown people.

He couldn't remember the names of everyone who had died, and he didn't even bother to count how many had died. He didn't have time to stop and cry.

Because he had to step on the corpses to move forward.

Because he must continue to search for the faint hope that their deaths will have meaning.

If he took the time to think about the meaning of it, he would go crazy.

………………

Finally, there was Elena, who stood opposite him with swords in hand.

They saw the devastation in each other's eyes.

The last words Elena said to him were,

"Thank you for your hard work. I wish you a good sleep."

His last thought before he died was.

Death is easier than living.

Alex has witnessed death all his life.

Everyone close to him faced death calmly.

After he came back, he dreamed every night that his relatives and friends who had died once gathered in front of him and looked at him quietly.

They said nothing, but Alex could feel the weight of their gazes.

He is their hope, he is the last one alive, he is also the one who goes back to the past, and he needs to fight for their lives.

In order to prevent the tragedy from happening again.

But this time, among these people, one person stood up.

Inger Nieka.

The pale and powerless young man, who had walked through the gates of hell twice, looked at him indifferently and said, "I don't want to die. I'm leaving."

Among the group of people facing him, only one person turned around, and his back gradually faded away.

It was as if he was accusing him: You were the one who killed them, why do you deserve so many people to die for you?

Alex didn't chase after him. He just looked around and lowered his head.

"Alex!"

Open your eyes.

Inger's face came back to him, no longer looking frail, but frowning.

It's like being covered with a layer of sandpaper, and the vision is blurry.

He could hear his own breathing and the sound of sobs in his throat.

“…Haaaaaaa…”

His mind was falling apart, pain and sorrow washed over his heart again and again, tearing at his body.

Inger sat aside, watching him motionlessly.

While Alex was sleeping, he suddenly started groaning and breathing rapidly, as if he was about to go into shock.

Inger was awakened by his actions and screamed several times. Finally, he pinched his philtrum ruthlessly before he opened his eyes.

Who would have thought that as soon as he woke up, he would clutch his chest in extreme pain, and burst into tears in a cold sweat.

Inger watched him cry for a long time, silently without saying a word.

When he slowly recovered, he got up and poured him some water to drink, and washed a towel with hot water to wipe his face.

It was then that he realized that no matter how good-looking a person was, they would look like a wolf when they cried.

Alex is too perfect in the comics.

He has shown moments of weakness, but he has always faced them on his own and continued to move forward.

In the later stages, he had no time to feel sad until his death.

Is a strong and perfect hero.

Now that he has returned to the past and is in peace, can he see his dead comrades and relatives every time he wakes up in the middle of the night?

Alex didn't know it, but Inger did. It was called post-traumatic stress disorder. Post-war traumatic stress disorder was particularly severe.

The moonlight was bright, and the light coming in through the window frame illuminated half of the room.

It just happened to shine on Alex's red and swollen eyes.

His smile was gone, his eyes were swollen as if they had been stung by a wasp, his beard was still unshaved, and he looked decrepit and tired.

Inger couldn't help laughing.

The night was very quiet, and Alex turned away because of his voice.

Inger burst into laughter.

It seems a bit creepy at night.

It was the first time that Alex saw him laughing so recklessly in front of him.

He looked at him and couldn't see his own face.

But Inger felt that the face looked a little aggrieved, and a little pitiful.

Compared to the face that was always bright and hopeful with a forced smile, the tear-stained, messy face in front of me looked more like a real person.

He finally remembered now that when he read the comics, he was actually suppressing a twisted anger.

He once wondered how it was possible for a person to be so strong and not show any sign of weakness.

How could he handle all of this on his own without going crazy?

He believes in the protagonist's resilience more than anyone else, and is more eager to see him collapse than anyone else.

That is the dark desire to watch the heroic protagonist who is almost a god fall from the altar.

But he also wanted to tell him.

"You are a human being."

"You can be glad you survived."

These two sentences, almost whispered to himself, were still heard by Alex.

Alex raised his hands to his face.

[So strange...I can't stop...]

He really didn't intend to cry, but his tears didn't listen to him and fell one after another.

The only sounds in the room were low, suppressed sobs.

Inger sat with his head bowed.

Experiencing death once is enough to wear you down, but after experiencing so many deaths, how can you not feel sad, guilty, and remorseful?

Maybe he will think that he should not be alive.

Or he must live on to fulfill their long-cherished wish, otherwise their death will be meaningless.

He felt that he could not be happy that he was still alive, because that would be like laughing over the corpses of his relatives and friends.

Inger suddenly became angry again. He said, "If you want to cry, just cry freely. Are you afraid of waking others up? I'm already awake!"

Alex is crying like a baby now.

Inger looked at his complete collapse, and the resentment in his heart finally disappeared without a trace.

He felt happy but also sad.

Who deprived you of the time and right to vent your sorrow?

It is futile to attribute meaning to the death of a dead person after death.

It is the living who need meaning.

You don't need to live for the dead, you can be happy that you are still alive.

He said this to Alex in his heart, and it seemed as if he was also saying it to himself.

***

Alex was woken up by the chirping of birds and the noise of the street in the early morning.

He slept soundly in the second half of the night and had no dreams for half the night.

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had slept so well.

I opened my eyes and saw Inger sleeping beside me, breathing evenly.

Alex quietly got up, wiped his face, and thought about what happened last night. His mind was still a little confused.

He remembered that he woke up crying and Inger sat beside him to comfort him...

He looked out the window at the cloudless sky. His body felt sore, tired and powerless, but his heart felt exceptionally light.

It doesn't seem to be a bad thing if some things that have been suppressed for too long are completely broken.

He made an exception and stopped his morning exercise, then lay down, and fell into a deep sleep accompanied by the rising noisy sounds of the street.

When I woke up again, it was dark outside.

Inger was missing too.

Alex's heart skipped a beat and he thought he was dreaming again.

"Click"

The door opened and the waiter came in with the dishes, followed by Inger.

"Put it on the table, thank you."

The clerk took one more look on his way out and then closed the door tightly.

Inger looked at Alex sitting on the bed, like a puppet with its spring pulled out.

As he hung up his coat, he said, "You're amazing. You slept for nearly a whole day."

He sat down at the dining table, picked up the spoon, looked up and saw that he was still confused, so he said: "What are you doing? Go wash your face, aren't you hungry?"

Finé flapped his wings in response.

Inger smiled and threw a few fish to it.

Alex jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He saw his eyes swollen like date seeds and messy hair in the mirror. His face couldn't be worse.

His eyes regained their luster.

When we came out of the shower, Inger was still saying, "Thanks to you, we can only leave tomorrow. Today I..."

He was halfway through his sentence when he looked up and saw Alex and was stuck.

Alex was originally a breathtaking-looking man, but because he had been sporting an unshaven look for the past few days, his image had changed temporarily, and the contrast was too shocking.

Under the gloomy sky, in the dim little house, with his platinum hair and bright golden eyes, his whole body seemed to be emitting holy light.

Alex squinted his eyes and smiled: "What?"

But Inger noticed that the flowers were no longer blooming around him.

"...Shut up and eat."

Alex gave him his usual refreshing smile and sat down to eat with him.

Alex eats faster.

Inger always chews his food slowly because he has a bad stomach.

So Alex finished eating and watched Inger eat slowly.

Inger endured for a long time, but couldn't bear it anymore: "Stop staring at me and grinning!"

Although he is the protagonist, he strongly suspects that there is something wrong with his brain or facial nerves.

Alex immediately put away his silly face and looked away, but after a moment he unconsciously turned back to Inger.

He could once again deeply feel the fact that this person who should have been dead was still alive.

This is the courage that allows him to stand here at this time.

If he had died, there would have been nothing to talk about, but he was still alive and had a second chance.

Once, no matter how many people died, he had to look forward, because he had to move forward, and because he had to look at the living people he could save.

But this time was different, everything was in time. No matter how many times he repeated it, his goal would always be to save everyone.

He could now understand the look in his eyes when seeing the dead people in his dreams.

They are such gentle and kind people.

That look seemed to tell him: You are very tired. Don't bear all this alone.

From that moment on, their hands were no longer weight to him, but strength. They were the force that pushed him forward and the confidence he had in moving towards a new life.

And this time, there is someone who has really stood by his side. He believes that Inger is the first, but will not be the last.