Phoenix Nirvana

Alex opened his blood-stained eyes.

My ears were still buzzing and I could see double images.

The right leg is broken, and a few ribs are probably broken, but the spine is probably not broken, and the internal injuries are serious.

"Ugh... cough cough cough cough cough..." Blood was coming out of Alex's mouth.

This was not the first time he had encountered such a thing. He forced himself to stay calm, with only two things in his mind.

[Yes! Rudolph! ]

He raised his fist and slapped his temple, shaking his head, and finally woke up a little.

He can still hear the slightest movement in the breeze, so he must be deaf.

He is still alive now. Does it prove that he escaped and found help?

Blood was flowing back to his heart and brain, and he gradually realized that this was impossible.

Fear is like a maggot, prying through the skin and flesh and drilling into the bone marrow.

"Ying! Where are you!" Alex shouted at the top of his voice, regardless of his injured heart.

He looked around hurriedly and saw a figure not far away.

A man fell to his knees.

Just as he showed joy, his expression turned into shocking misery the next moment.

A spear pierced the slender body.

“………No…………No!!!”

Alex's throat was torn, as if his heart and chest were pierced.

He fell to the ground and crawled forward on his three remaining limbs.

They were only a dozen steps apart, but the distance between them seemed as far as the sky.

Tears blurred my vision.

Alex was all too familiar with this sight.

Every time! Every time!!!

By the time he reached his comrades, it was already too late.

The climax of the tragedy, the scene where the protagonist pours out his heart before death, will never be played out in his story.

The people he cherishes always die where he can't see.

In some places, corpses can be seen, while in others, only tombstones are left.

This time the goddess granted a miracle of grace.

Everything can start over again.

Inger's survival was the proof of all his faith and hope.

There is still a secret uneasiness in my heart.

He swore to protect him with his life, and did so.

But it's no different than any other time before.

He was right beside him, but he couldn't protect him.

Alex finally crawled to Inger's side, his hands covered in blood.

He heard faint breathing.

Alex suddenly felt hopeful.

Blood dripped slowly along the tip of the blade that pierced his chest. Inger lowered his head and knelt on the ground.

Alex's eyes widened. He swallowed the blood in his throat, put his hands on Inger's shoulders, and let him lean on his chest.

Alex gasped and asked, "...Ying, please say something...I beg you to say something."

Alex reached out and pushed back the strands of hair from his forehead, allowing him to see his face clearly.

Tears welled up from my eyes.

With blood dripping from his mouth and nose, Inger opened his mouth and struggled to squeeze out a few words from his throat that were so faint that they disappeared instantly.

Alex quickly closed his ears.

“………It hurts…”

Alex bit his lip and tears kept pouring out.

He collapsed.

With red eyes, she pinched Inger's shoulders but didn't dare to shake him easily: "Don't sleep! Ying! You won't die! I will save you!"

How to save?

He doesn't know.

He had to save him, he had to.

But he didn't know how to save him!

Despair and tears covered my face.

“…I, I’ll help you pull it out.” In panic, he placed his hand on the tip of the blade, then stopped.

Blood soaked his palms.

He knew, of course, that pulling out the spear would only hasten Inger's death.

Inger was crying and vomiting blood.

The lungs were punctured, and every weak breath felt like a living corpse.

The numbness from the initial injury had worn off, but the pain of having his body cut open alive made him wish he could die on the spot.

The spine was severed, the lower body was numb, the broken sternum was stuck in the flesh, and the internal organs were bleeding.

But he couldn't get over the dizziness and there was no way to relieve any pain.

The mind is too cluttered.

Alex added: "I'll take you back! The Archbishop is here! She will save you! His Holiness the Pope is here too!"

In order to divert his attention, Inger was finally able to hear some sounds.

[Ah... this person... what nonsense is he talking about...]

[Has he ever been such a restless person? ]

[Help… It hurts… It hurts… Why does it hurt so much…]

My eyes are stained with tears and my vision is blurred.

Alex carefully wiped his eyes, but he himself cried bitterly.

The body temperature was dropping, and Inger could clearly feel the loss of body heat.

He could clearly hear the sound of the thread of life being pulled out of his body.

[Am I going to die? ]

The suffocating feeling gripped his neck, depriving his body of the remaining oxygen.

The brain goes into a state of low activity.

Inger suddenly felt very tired and wanted to close his eyes slowly.

"Ying! Don't close your eyes! Don't fall asleep! I beg you! Hold on a little longer!"

[But what can we do? ]

"Alex, but I... it hurts..."

Alex cried even harder.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...Please! Don't!"

Alex's roar, blurred vision, and look of total despair were things that had never appeared in comics before.

He never had the time or the opportunity to shed tears, so he suffered from nightmares and tears in this life.

People could only see him wipe away the sorrow from the sacrifice of his comrades, stand up and move forward.

He must smile and bring fearless hope to people, always.

"Didn't you say you wanted to live a good life with your family? Stay alive! Even if it's a miracle, you have to stay alive!"

Like a child asking for a toy. Repeating the same words like a scoundrel...

"Yes! I beg you, goddess! Goddess! If you really exist, please save him! Haven't you already saved him once? Please!"

[Fool, it was you who saved me. ]

"Ying! I will save you! How can I save you? I don't know! Ying! How can I save you? Who can tell me? Don't close your eyes! Can you say something? Don't do this! I beg you, don't do this!"

[Speaking in contradictions. It really looks like an idiot. But, Alex, I am speechless. Not all deaths leave last words, you know this best, don't you?]

Then he got angry again.

"Yes! I don't agree with such a sacrifice! I don't want you to die! I don't accept your death, you stand up! You can't accept your own death! There must be a way to save you! Isn't your magic the strongest! Healing magic! Resurrection magic! Anything! Equivalent exchange is fine, I'll give you my life! Don't close your eyes! Open them!!"

At some point, Alex picked up the wand that had fallen to the ground and put it in his hand.

He saw the phoenix emblem on the wand in his hand glowing brightly like dripping blood.

"No matter what! You can't just do nothing and accept this outcome! This is not the outcome you want!"

The protagonist is frantically asking for help like a madman.

[I guessed right, you have been driven crazy a long time ago. ]

You walk on a tightrope, your confidence is reassuring, but you are more afraid than anyone else, and you just pretend to be hopeful. I hate you like this.

Reading this comic, my heart is burning with emotion. After going through all that, the protagonist is able to finish the comic without breaking down and with such a twisted mentality.

Now I finally see you, finally see you, the real you.

This was not caused by his death alone, but by the lives of countless comrades and countless human beings.

He was the first life he had saved in this life. Perhaps this fool believed that as long as he could stay alive, he might be able to save the rest.

[Stupid or not]

Now I am just as stupid as him, picking up my wand and preparing to cast a spell and bet on a miracle.

He is a man who never gambles on the remotest probability, and he has always been like this.

But he suddenly rebelled. He didn't want to let himself die like this. There was no reason, he just didn't want to.

Why would he let the assassin succeed?

Even if you know you can't do it, you have to live on.

This is the most important thing that the protagonist, and also his friend, taught him.

He just firmly believed in the correctness of this principle.

Inger poured magic into the wand and moved his lips.

It was like a knife cutting, but he still recited the spell clearly word by word and outlined the magic circle.

"………heal"

The magic circle disappeared.

The wound didn't heal at all.

Inger looked up, tears rolling down his eyes, and the corners of his mouth curled up slightly, showing an extremely desperate mockery.

Inger rested his head on the shoulder of Alex, who looked bewildered.

Alex murmured with a blank expression: "Why..."

How ridiculous...

The moment the magic power flowed through the circuit, he understood.

This was a problem that he should have understood when he first started learning healing magic, but he ignored it.

Why do healing wizards have such a high death rate on the battlefield?

There is no textbook that says this.

But you should know the facts.

A doctor does not treat himself.

This is not absolute for doctors.

But a healing wizard cannot heal himself.

To be precise, he could heal minor external injuries on his limbs, but serious internal injuries, which involved the wizard's own vital body structures, could not be healed by himself.

Because the magic circuit is in the body, self-healing will cause magic conflict.

His original intention of learning healing magic was to save himself, but after he learned it, he could save others and saved many people, but he could not save himself.

The funny and sad thing is that he found out about this when he was dying.

Inger opened his mouth and tried to laugh to ease the atmosphere, but blood flowed out of his throat involuntarily.

Alex hugged him gently, his expression as if he had been hit by a hammer, and he was stunned.

It was the first time he saw Inger's magic fail.

In his eyes, Inger's magic had never failed.

A mournful cry was heard in the air, and a snow-white shadow swooped down, with feathers scattered on the ground.

Finne walked gently around Inger, seemingly at a loss.

He rubbed his head against Inger's face.

Inger felt the soft feathers, and the pain seemed to disappear a little.

"…Phi…ne…help me…take care of it…"

Alex said softly: "...Don't say it..."

Then he yelled, "Stop talking!"

Alex's eyes welled up with tears.

Inger was crying too, and he thought it was funny to see two people crying together.

Inger looked up vaguely at Alex's face, which he had known for a long time. The pain did not go away, but became more real.

But look at the person in front of you.

He suddenly felt that he was more like a dying man than he was.

Sympathetic and pitiful.

He always knew that dying was easier than living.

How do people who witness death feel?

He had never seen Alex look so hopeless, as if he was a pile of corpses with his flesh and blood shaved off, piled up beside him.

That was not brought to him by the death of one person.

It is the death of millions.

And he became the straw that broke the camel's back.

Madness and despair appeared on Alex's face at the same time.

Inger was sure that the one who wanted to die for him the most was Alex.

He is a knight who can save and protect countless people with his sword, but he cannot save a single person.

He had never hated the fact that he couldn't do magic as much as he did at that moment.

At the same time, Inger's memory flashed back clearly.

Fragrant flowers and plants...

A rich delicacy...

Dazzling mountains and rivers...

Brilliant and magical magic...

The precious family members lost and found again...

Childish, noisy but not annoying friends...

And Alex...

The revolving lantern before death...

Hyperamnesia makes these memories play back like a high-definition movie, vividly remembering the good days.

No matter how many times he denied it.

The world has given him countless things. His ordinary life has suddenly become brilliant and colorful. It is a rebirth in two senses.

Inger's heart felt as if it was torn in two, and he struggled in pain.

It is a heartbreaking cry:

"Alex... I don't want to die... I want to live... I want to live..."

If it was in his previous life, when he was Gu Shu, he had no worries and would not care about leaving.

He wanted to live, but there was nothing he could do if he really died.

That's what he thought.

There is no urgent desire.

But this thought disappeared at this moment.

Even if it's just a comic.

This place is real to him who is in it.

He died, but what about his family and Alex?

It is always the living who are tortured.

He had experienced this firsthand.

He also lost an important friend in his previous life.

But now, he couldn't let Alex, his family and friends endure this anymore.

Alex screamed and cried helplessly in the collapse.

Anyone who saw it would have no doubt that he had gone mad.

Inger grasped the Dawn tightly, and the bone claws on the top of the Dawn Wand opened. The round bead rose, the pattern of the phoenix burned with flaming red flames, and eight balls of light floated out.

He used his last bit of strength to recite the sentence, and the sound fell as lightly as a feather.

Use your native language from your previous life.

*“The fire was blazing.

The aroma is so fragrant.

The time has come.

The time of death has come.

Everything outside of yourself!

Everything inside!

Everything! "

"The dead light is reborn...

The dead universe is reborn...

The dead phoenix was reborn.

Phoenix and Ming

We are reborn.

We are reborn.

All is one, reborn.

Everything about Yi is reborn.

We are him and they are me.

You are in me and I am in you.

I am you,

You are me.

Fire is the phoenix.

The phoenix is ​​fire..." (1)

The flame that was as dazzling as heaven and held the last hope gradually went out.

The ball falls back.

The phoenix is ​​dim.

"clang."

The wand named Dawn fell from his hand.

The hands dropped helplessly.

The eyes that were open lost their focus.

The extraction of a soul.

He is dead.

Alex's breathing suddenly stopped, he hugged Inger's lifeless body, slowly closed his eyes, and fainted on the spot.

(1) Excerpted from Guo Moruo’s Phoenix Nirvana.

The first volume, "The Living and the Dead", ends. The second volume, "Floating".

The foreshadowing is actually pretty easy to guess. But friends who have read this far please don’t leave spoilers in the comments section!

But because the outline is too big, it's really hard to continue writing without support. I don't know if I can finish it... There's so much... The timeline has only been cut a little. The pace was actually quite slow in the beginning, and I was always worried, and there were a lot of pitfalls. Before digging the pits, I actually thought about how to fill them, but whether I can finish writing is another matter.

In addition, I actually posted this article on another website, up to chapter 47, and then I deleted my account. As a result, the account was deleted, but the book was not deleted. There was no contract signed there. I contacted the editor, and now it has been permanently offline. (2023.7.13)

Thank you to the readers who have read this (thank you.jpg)

Also, I'm curious about what you think when you see this, hahahahahahahaha

Summary of Volume 1: Eating, drinking and having fun

Author: Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole…