Seeking memories that are engraved in your heart
After the funeral, Alex went to Goodness Mansion and sat beside the twin beds. The two goddesses were sleeping like two dolls.
Their physical growth had almost stagnated and they were unchanged from when they first met them.
Alex couldn't wake them up.
He wiped his face, leaned back in his chair, and thought quietly about the past period of time.
This should actually be a lie that can be easily exposed. As long as he investigates it carefully, the past of the immortal wizard will be laid out in detail before him.
But he thought those things were unimportant at the time.
It is undeniable that the goddess's power has an impact on this. Their magical power eliminates the possibility of him having doubts about this.
However, at that time, he really didn't know how to and didn't have the time to care about these things.
If, memory is the material that makes up a person.
Is he the same person now as he was before he lost his memory?
If goddesses can manipulate memories, can they also fabricate a memory to make someone a hero, or make someone willingly give their life, over and over again?
Alex smiled ruthlessly and covered his face with his hands.
When did he become so suspicious and disrespectful to the gods of his own world?
The goddess did not answer.
Alex sat quietly for a while.
The door opened gently and Ola walked in.
"...I guess you're here."
Alex looked at her for a while, then stood up and asked, "What do you want to see me for?"
Although Aura has stepped down from her position, she is still a member of the political core of Chune and her tasks are no less.
Ola: "I want to go see Inger, and Christine is coming with me."
Alex picked up his coat and said, "Okay, I have to go back to work too, you come with me."
Ola was stunned, he didn't expect him to agree.
Alex looked past her and said calmly, "I didn't stop you from seeing him, you just didn't dare to mention it."
Ola coughed dryly, feeling somewhat guilty and embarrassed.
Along the way, Ola didn't dare talk to Alex about Inger.
Whether there was a reason for it or not, the fact remains that they had conspired to deceive him.
Alex seemed to have completely forgotten about it and kept silent about it, which made them even more embarrassed.
They returned to Alex's original bedroom. The room was very large, so he placed the bookshelf and desk directly opposite the sofa, in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. He slept and dined in the same room, and he really didn't intend to waste any time.
Christine carried Coco and followed Ola inside.
Christine's body did not grow as fast as Nineveh's. Her elf blood gave her a face. She still looked like a twelve-year-old girl, but her soul was already twenty years old.
Coco jumped out of her arms and ran to the bed.
Inger caught her.
Coco rubbed her head against the palm of his hand.
The shrunken little griffon glared at the white cat, squeezed under Inger's armpits, and circled around his waist, as if to assert its sovereignty.
Coco stretched out her claws and started to ruffle its feathers.
Inger held one in each hand and said with a smile, "Don't overdo it, Coco. You're a grown-up girl now. Don't argue with Finé."
Coco lay down and tapped the hard insulating stone chain on Inger's wrist with her claws.
Then she leapt up onto Alex's workbench, moving lightly around the papers and ink stamps, circling beneath his hands.
Alex touched her head and raised the seal with his other hand, "Coco, go play first. I still have work to do."
Coco had no choice but to go back to Inger and lie on the quilt.
Christine and Ola sat down on the bed.
For a moment they didn't know how to start.
Their eyes flicked toward Alex.
Alex had no intention of leaving at all.
Inger spread his hands, looking helpless.
Inger lowered his voice and asked Christine, "Did you see anything?"
Christine shook her head. "Nothing." She added, "But I think if I think about something for a long time during the day, or if I keep thinking about someone, then I'm more likely to dream about it."
Inger: "...So, you came to see me."
Christine nodded, looked at Inger, and asked, "Are you having trouble sleeping?"
Christine could see the anxiety and tension on his face.
Inger pursed his lips: "…"
He was in the same predicament as before.
But this time, even though Alex was with him, he became one of the reasons why he couldn't sleep.
Inger knew Alex was angry.
However, he no longer locked himself up, but watched him directly from the side.
He would not refuse someone to come and see him, but he would not be allowed to step out of the room.
They are not given a chance to speak alone.
Inger himself seldom found an opportunity to speak to him.
However, on some political issues, Alex still consulted him and sought advice as usual.
If Inger tried to apologize, Alex would just stare at him silently, and then he would be unable to continue.
He would rather have a big quarrel with him.
Unlike what Ninifer said, Alex would not listen just because he said it.
But as time went by, Inger became more and more worried.
Alex has begun preparing what is needed to attack the Eastern Continent.
Whether it's a long or short time, he will have to lead his troops to set out sooner or later.
And the name Inger Nyka is definitely not on the list of colleagues.
Inger never understood.
They really only have one life, and as for himself, not to mention the six times he had died, excluding the last one he had kept, he still had two chances.
Although Inger was prepared, he did not intend to waste the opportunity.
He could still try, a possibility of reaching a perfect ending.
Alex intends to deprive him of all his efforts.
Alex is indeed very powerful now, and he has more helpers, but past battles have taught them that they should never be careless, because no matter how much power they have, it is not enough.
Now that the goddess has lost her power, this is their last chance and they cannot afford to fail.
The best scenario would be that Alex succeeded and everyone survived, but Inger knew that the possibility was too low.
Alex's thoughts are also obvious. He is not afraid of sacrifice, not even those who fight with him.
And if they fail.
Inger couldn't bear the consequences.
He has to choose between surviving alone in a destroyed world and surviving alone in a surviving world.
If they're lucky enough, they can even create a happy ending together.
So he could never understand Alex's choice.
He wanted to communicate with Alex, but Alex refused to communicate.
Inger didn't know what to do.
Inger looked at Ola and Christine, his eyes silently pleading for help.
Ola and Christine each shook his hand.
They quickly let go.
Because Inger started coughing and there was blood in his nose and mouth.
Ola and Christine stood up suddenly.
"What's wrong with you?!"
Inger wiped it with his handkerchief, said it was all right, closed his eyes and passed out.
Alex walked over, wiped his face with a towel, and helped him lie down.
He looked at the unconscious Inger for a while and said, "This is his sequelae. Every time he died and resurrected, he would have wounds and sequelae on his body. He had been poisoned before, and he finally came back to life. After he died of poisoning, he began to cough up blood severely, sometimes from the lungs, sometimes from the stomach, and it was not pathological. In addition to these, he occasionally had difficulty breathing, difficulty swallowing, vomiting, headaches, dizziness and coma because of anemia, overwork..."
Inger thought Alex didn't know.
In fact, he saw all of this.
Alex couldn't take any of the blame for him.
Inger could only stay on the battlefield.
The sequelae did not disappear, but they came and went. They did not threaten his life, but they continued to torment his body.
Christine covered her mouth.
Alex couldn't continue speaking and was stuck there.
He felt as if a thorn had pierced his throat.
He turned to the two of them and said, "Have you guys agreed on what you want to say? If you have, get out of here."
Alex took out the note that Inger was holding in his hand and took from Ola, threw it into the trash can without even looking at it, and sat back in his seat.
Ola looked back and forth at the two of them, feeling very uncomfortable.
Christine finally said, "If I had seen anything, I would have come and told you first."
She was talking to Alex.
Alex just nodded calmly.
The days that followed were peaceful and almost boring.
Alex immersed himself in the busy political affairs, staying in his room to work when he had no meetings or external schedules.
Inger was very nervous about their relationship at first, which made him feel very bad and he never recovered.
But as time went on, he got used to it, and this time he was no longer alone.
Alex is always there for him, whether he speaks or not, and his family and friends visit him often, so he no longer feels lonely.
Apart from the shackles on my hands and feet and the fact that I couldn't leave the room, everything else was satisfactory.
The person who came to take care of them was Cecilia, who had previously taken care of Inger and was doing well in the palace.
She was responsible for serving them tea and cleaning. After finishing her work, she would sit in a rocking chair and knit. Because she knitted so much, she also knitted a set of clothes for Coco, Ferné and Fantine respectively.
Inger started to read Alex's eyes when speaking, but it didn't take long for him to return to normal.
Alex would force him to eat some nourishing food. Inger would eat it at first, but if he didn't like it, he would say so directly. Then Alex would find a way to make these things look like what he liked.
Inger's health was getting better day by day. He slept longer and longer and became lazier and lazier.
"I need to exercise properly or my body will break down."
When he said this to Alex, Alex didn't even look up, "You can exercise in the room."
Then, Inger, who had been lying in bed for a month, walked around the room as if he was undergoing rehabilitation.
"Can I go out?"
The answer I got was always silence.
Inger began to get a little irritated.
From the documents Alex gave me, the countries are rebuilding their homes at a rapid pace. After that, they invested a lot of manpower in mining magic stone and growing crops to produce food. The national policy fully supports the development of industry and agriculture, especially encouraging the research and development of new machinery to improve productivity and the application of electric drive devices.
Inger could see from the window at night that there were no candlelights outside the royal city, but instead the bright white light of electric lamps.
He hadn't expected that changes could happen so quickly in just a few months.
During the war, domestic production was almost completely stagnant. These few months have been a retaliatory rebound.
Among them, Nineveh made the greatest contribution. Her work was basically unpaid. Her presence allowed most people to not worry about food for a period of time and to devote themselves to the reconstruction work.
When the land recovers and agriculture resumes operation, a large number of mechanical farm tools will be put into use, which will then be able to support people's daily needs.
He couldn't go out to the streets to see the real life in the city, and couldn't provide practical help.
Without magic power, he had no way to contact Fei Leng, but fortunately, he had been careful before and made a plaque and gave it and the instructions for use to Liexia and the others, so that there would be someone who could receive the message even if he was not there.
Inger was tired from walking around the room and had to lie back on the bed.
Either reading a book or playing with Finne and Coco. But even the two of them could go wherever they wanted, and Finne could jump out of the window and fly in the sky for several circles.
But every time he tried to jump onto Finne's back, Alex was staring at him, forcing him to go back to the house on his own. Falling from a height without any magical protection was no joke.
During the war, he just wanted to lie in bed and not get up, but now he can't wait to go out and walk around the capital three times. Are people really that mean?
After they finished their meals, one worked while the other read a book, and this continued until late at night.
Inger blinked at the dim light and said, "Doesn't it hurt your eyes? Turning it up a little brighter won't affect my sleep..."
As he was talking, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
After recuperation during this period, his biological clock finally returned to normal.
Alex looked up at him, looked at the finished work at hand, and reached out to turn off the light.
As the night deepens, the moonlight quietly reveals its cold and vast brilliance.
Alex put his hands to his cheeks.
Look at the person on the bed.
Inger's sleeping face was bathed in the soft moonlight.
Alex also wanted to fall asleep by closing his eyes like him.
But he couldn't do it.
He is committed to filling every minute of his life with work.
He sat in his seat.
Whenever he was in a daze, the battle that happened not long ago would come back to his mind.
It was at that time that he discovered the various sequelae that Inger had.
He forgot about that period of his life.
Inger kept Alex's memory in the safest place. He gave it to God.
Even though Alex's memory was sealed, Inger still didn't let Alex know that he was injured.
Because he knew that Alex was the kind of person who would not ignore a stranger who made such a sacrifice.
At that time, Alex saw the details of Inger's life.
When discussing some important matters, Inger would suddenly frown at an irrelevant point and remain silent for a long time, and then when he asked about it, he would lightly brush it off as if nothing had happened.
He would rub the corners of his eyebrows and pinch the center of his eyebrows to hide his headache.
He would carry a handkerchief with him to wipe the blood, and because he couldn't change it often, the handkerchief was stained with blood.
The food on the battlefield was meant to fill the stomach, and since he had a bad stomach, he just swallowed it down with gritted teeth and secretly spit out half of it afterwards.
Because of the frequent wars, Inger was called up almost as often as Alex. You know, he was a high-ranking knight who could go without sleep for several days without any health problems.
On the battlefield, Inger just kept losing weight.
And at that time, Alex did nothing.
He felt that Inger was a wizard who could endure hardships, had great perseverance, and was not very fond of showing off, but was worthy of admiration. He was different from other wizards.
He is cruel to himself but gentle to others. Under his cold and taciturn mask is a warm heart.
He "doesn't understand" his past.
But he knew that he was a comrade-in-arms who was worth entrusting to his side.
At that time, Alex had no other thoughts about his sacrifice, because he would have done the same thing if he were in his shoes.
Inger had told him himself that it was no big deal.
He seemed to be a very cautious person, very careful in everything, so he believed it. He believed it completely. He had no doubts at all.
There is no one on the battlefield who does not suffer. As long as the injuries and illnesses are not fatal, there is no need to be too serious.
He also never "witnessed" his death and resurrection.
I should say he doesn't remember.
A powerful, intelligent, duplicitous and admirable wizard.
That's all he had in mind.
However, when all his memories returned, he finally found out.
One party thought it was the first meeting, while the other party knew it was the second meeting.
That self-evident "thought" would suffocate Alex every time he thought of it.
He couldn't bear to face all this, to see all this, and yet remain indifferent.
Even though, losing his memory was not something he wanted.
That's not him.
Is he really the same person after losing that memory?
In other words, is he the same person now as before?
After such a self-dissection.
He began to resent Inger again.
Alex guessed that the recovery of his memory was related to his breakthrough level.
Inger's expression clearly showed that he couldn't have guessed that he would be able to recover his memory. He was completely surprised and scared.
He didn't want him to regain his memory.
He made the decision after being prepared that Alex would never remember him for the rest of his life.
Alex didn't see Inger for a long time after he woke up.
He was deliberately avoiding him.
These two facts were too much for Alex to bear.
Sometimes Alex really hated Inger's decision.
Alex thought what he had done before was cruel enough, but Inger was even crueler than him.
deceive.
It's all a lie.
Inger never put his own life on the line.
Because of resurrection?
Because there are still two chances?
What the hell?
Alex clenched his palms into fists and pressed them against his cheekbones and chin.
Alex stared at Inger until his vision blurred.
He knew he shouldn't continue thinking like this.
Many times he felt like he was going crazy.
Whenever I see Inger, I always feel reluctant to leave.
If he can't stay awake, who can save Inger?
Inger was never crazy.
He took a step very soberly, towards a dead end.
This is exactly what Alex fears the most.
Alex could see the desire to live in Inger, who was on the verge of death for the first time.
He was afraid of pain and death. Alex could feel it clearly.
But after that, Alex couldn't see clearly.
The crucial change came that night.
The night when the goddess told him the truth about the phoenix.
Inger completed the transformation.
He found something more important than living and dying well.
To this end, he will burn himself without hesitation and squeeze out every last bit of his value.
What a terrible sacrifice.
What a rude and arbitrary decision.
Alex hated it all, and himself for making him make this decision.
He even wondered if he had not approached Inger, would he have been able to stay at home and be the rich second son.
If they had not become friends who shared life and death, would he not be living a life worse than death like he is now?
Most people forget their memories to protect themselves, but what should Inger do if he doesn't have this protection mechanism?
Alex's empathy played its greatest role at this moment.
He could keep himself busy and forget about it for a while.
But it is often in the dead of night that I suddenly think of it and then burst into tears.
When he had nothing to do, he really wanted to faint, or wonder why he should remember all this so that he could escape from such mental torture.
But he also hated the idea.
So he reminded himself again and again not to forget, which Inger could also understand.
He's going through the same thing.
Alex tortured himself by replaying over and over again the scenes he didn't want to remember again.
As if this could make up for the time when he had forgotten him and the guilt that overwhelmed him.
"Ai...Alex..."
Alex heard a voice while he was lost in thought.
But the dim light and blurred vision made it difficult for him to recognize the person who was walking towards him.
Alex reluctantly put down his hands and suppressed his trembling.
He heard the other person's voice clearly. Ola said softly in a trembling tone he had never heard before: "I... I'm sorry for knocking on the door... I came to get a file I forgot during the day... I wanted to take it secretly, but I didn't know you were still awake..."
Alex lowered his head with a tense face: "…"
In the moonlight, Ola saw Alex with tears in his eyes.
If it were someone else, they would only see hatred in Alex's eyes.
All Ola saw was a man who was about to tear himself apart in the suffocating and silent night.
After saying a few stupid things, Ola froze for a moment, then walked over and gently hugged Alex.
She patted his back awkwardly, the only time she had ever hugged Christine in this intimate way before.
"Let's go out. If we go out, we won't have to worry about waking him up."
Alex grabbed the back of Ola's collar, and Ola could feel her palm shaking unconsciously.
"It doesn't matter. We will be back before dawn and he will see you when he wakes up."
For the first time, Ola, like a real sister, pulled her brother out of the room.
Last time, she dragged Alex to the battlefield.
This time, she won't make the same mistake again.
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