I'm the one who goes crazy when it rains.
Cheng Sizhou pinched the waistband of his pants and pulled them down to his thighs. A fist-sized purple-black area was exposed at the protrusion of his right hip bone, which looked shocking.
"Brother Zhou...!" Wen Zichuan whispered.
"It just looks scary, it doesn't hurt." He forced a fake smile.
Doctor Mo squatted down, looked at the wound, and pressed it lightly with his fingers. Cheng Sizhou shuddered in pain and gritted his teeth to prevent himself from crying out.
"We have a special kind of wild mushroom over there. Every time it rains, many people go up the mountain to pick them. I heard about him. He went with them once and disappeared in the mountains. He didn't come back until a month or two later, and he was in such a bad shape after that." Doctor Mo said this without stopping. He took out a bottle of ointment and rubbed it on the man. "Don't worry, the bone is not broken. This ointment is our secret recipe. Keep it safe for a week."
"You said that he went into the mountains after the rain and was abnormal when he came back?" Wen Zichuan asked next.
Cheng Sizhou's heart trembled. Dr. Mo's story was so fragmented. How could a monk be asked to treat a condition that doctors couldn't diagnose? The village was not well educated, so it was okay for them to be superstitious, but why did Zichuan act so seriously?
"Yes, he's a poor bachelor, almost thirty and still unmarried. Whenever it rains, he runs to the mountains. He doesn't pick many mushrooms, but he's getting more and more crazy."
"Did the monk cure the patient?" Cheng Sizhou asked casually.
"Master said that he was bewitched by a female spirit in the mountains, who sucked away his soul and two spirits. To cure him completely, we must go to the mountains and get rid of the spirit."
After applying the medicine, Cheng Sizhou thanked him and walked out, holding his waist and hanging his legs. "Monks are not in the mortal world, so they shouldn't be bewitched by female spirits, right?"
"Master didn't go."
"Why didn't you go?"
"I'm a poor bachelor with no money. I have to donate some merit before the master will go."
“…”
It turned out to be a story about a fake monk who cheated people out of money. It was really boring.
After applying the medicine, it was getting late at night. Wen Zichuan helped Cheng Sizhou back home. Above the narrow alley, dry branches were sticking out in all directions, outlining the outline of a mountain monster.
The winter wind was blowing coldly. Cheng Sizhou shrank his neck and said in a fake voice, "It's so scary, Zichuan, you have to protect me," trying to make him laugh and pull him out of his sad mood.
When Wen Zichuan was tired and weak, the ending tone was particularly seductive: "Maybe I am the one who becomes abnormal and crazy when it rains. I can't protect you. I can't protect anything."
Although the appearance of Liu Shixing did not cause devastating consequences, it was still full of threats to him.
He couldn't help but compare himself with him. Whether it was looks, voice, money, fame, skills, or flamboyant personality, he didn't have anything to show for it.
This made him feel that although Cheng Sizhou liked him, it was only after his experience with Liu Shixing that he felt he had to settle for second best.
"Okay, you be the madman and I'll be the goblin." Cheng Sizhou touched his hand, which was icy cold. He rubbed it first, then put it in his pocket to cover it. "Every rainy day, you have to come see me, okay?"
"Are you seducing me?" Wen Zichuan said jokingly, but there was no smile in his eyes.
"Yes, I am a particularly infatuated monster. I only seduce you." Cheng Sizhou didn't laugh, and his nose even felt a little sour.
Along the way, Wen Zichuan didn't say anything. After arriving home, he silently boiled water for him to wash his face and feet, without saying a word.
Cheng Sizhou was well taken care of, but he felt uneasy in his heart, worried that he would hold his anger and not vent it, which would lead to other conflicts if it was delayed for too long.
"Zichuan."
"Um."
"Are you still angry?"
"No."
"Talk to me."
"I'll just pour some water."
Wen Zichuan lowered his head and went to the balcony with a basin of water.
Less than a minute later, Cheng Sizhou couldn't sit still any longer. His pants were stained with ointment and had already been washed, so he had no choice but to wrap himself in a cool quilt and limp to find him.
There was no light on the balcony, and Wen Zichuan's thin figure was trapped in the darkness. Hearing footsteps approaching, he immediately turned on the faucet and washed his face vigorously with cold water.
"Zichuan?"
"I'm a little sleepy, let me wash my face."
Cheng Sizhou knew that Zichuan was like a sensitive cat. When he was hurt, instead of seeking comfort, he would rather hide in a dark corner and lick his wounds by himself - even though they already had such a relationship.
"Does the wound hurt? Come in and sit down." Wen Zichuan said quietly.
"It doesn't hurt anymore. If you want to take a breath, I'll accompany you." Cheng Sizhou held onto the wall for support and found a position that would make his right leg more relaxed.
They are usually busy with their work and haven't had a good chat for a long time.
Wen Zichuan didn't say anything. It was too quiet around him. He was afraid that Cheng Sizhou would hear something from his moist breath.
"Zichuan, Wu Meng came over suddenly. Was it you who called him over?"
"Yes." Wen Zichuan didn't want to hide it from him. It was only natural to go to the police when in trouble.
"You deliberately said those words to provoke him and force him to fight, so that the police could take him away, right?"
"Yes." Wen Zichuan knew that whoever started the fight would be at fault. Rather than getting beaten, he hoped that Liu Shixing would no longer appear in their lives.
"Can you discuss this kind of thing with me in the future? Liu Shixing came to my house because of me. After all, I am the one who wronged him. He can scold me or beat me, but I don't want everyone to know."
"Why do you always say you're sorry to him?! Were you not good to him when you were together?" Wen Zichuan looked through many posts about their campus romance, and every one of them said they were a "match made in heaven" and "inseparable". "Besides, you're my boyfriend now. What right does he have to scold you or hit you?! You've broken up and have nothing to do with each other. Why are you still feeling guilty?!"
"Because I failed to do what I promised." Cheng Sizhou's expression darkened. "So I don't dare to make promises easily anymore. Zichuan, I'm scared. I'm scared that the past will happen again. I'm scared that I'll lose you."
In the eyes of the world, not listening to parents, not respecting teachers, not keeping promises, and not having a same-sex partner and continuing the family line are all heinous mistakes.
Even though being scolded and beaten was humiliating and painful, it also balanced the guilt in his heart.
In comparison, Wen Zichuan just felt that he was not good enough, not a perfect lover, and was a little jealous.
He didn't think that being with Cheng Sizhou was a mistake.
"I don't care about others. I only ask you, have you let go of the past?" Wen Zichuan asked again.
"If I still can't let go, won't that make me feel even more sorry for you?"
"Are you happy being with me?"
"'Happy' isn't quite accurate," Cheng Sizhou looked at him sincerely, "Zichuan, I'm very satisfied."
Not all love affairs have to be like roller coasters, blazing like fireworks when passionate and silent like dust when quiet. Cheng Sizhou had experienced that before, and that model didn't suit him. He longed for a simple, stable, deep love, a love that would last forever, through life and death.
He was a few years older, had experience in love, had clear goals, and was mature in his thinking. Only Wen Zichuan was left hiding in the darkness, struggling and in trouble.
"I'm not good at Chinese, so I don't know which is better, 'happy' or 'satisfied'." Wen Zichuan wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes. "I want you to be happy. I don't want you to apologize all the time and feel guilty."
"I understand." Cheng Sizhou said in a doting tone and waved to him, "Come here, Zichuan."
Wen Zichuan couldn't resist and still felt aggrieved. He had already moved his body to his side until he was tightly wrapped in a warm embrace and then received a light kiss on the forehead. His empty heart was finally filled with love.
So, being happy does not necessarily mean being satisfied, but being satisfied definitely means being happy, right?
After tossing and turning all night, Cheng Sizhou had expended too much energy in resisting the pain and soon fell into a dream.
Dreams are always illogical. He actually dreamed that Wen Zichuan was wearing work clothes and trimming flowers, plants and trees in their Dengbo yard.
He asked, "Why are you here?"
Wen Zichuan raised his arms and cut the branches: "Cut the branches."
He added, "Cutting branches is so tiring. Let me help you."
Wen Zichuan smiled and said, "You are still tied up."
Cheng Sizhou looked down and saw that he was tied up like a dumpling with barbed wire: "Yes, I am tied up."
Wen Zichuan came over and said, "I'll help you cut the net, and then you can get out."
In the dream, Cheng Sizhou couldn't move, so he watched him cut the net, and he cut for the whole night.
The real Wen Zichuan lay beside him and almost stayed awake all night.
Ever since he took a liking to kissing Cheng Sizhou before bed, Cheng Sizhou would lie sideways facing him while sleeping, with his slightly raised lips, which reminded him of the sour yet sweet local cherries at the May market.
Wen Zichuan was afraid of waking him up, so he looked at him all night but didn't kiss him once.
When it was almost dawn, he mumbled something indistinctly, not knowing what he was dreaming about.
Wen Zichuan put his ear close to his lips and heard him murmur softly: "Zichuan..."
"Yeah, I'm here."
Feeling the other person's warm breath on his face, Wen Zichuan quietly reached out and touched his hand. Unexpectedly, the moment their skin touched, Cheng Sizhou held him tightly.
Wen Zichuan sighed silently. Perhaps throughout his life, he would never see the passionate Cheng Sizhou from his college days, nor would he hear him firmly say "I love you" in the crowd of thousands of people. But at least, they still had a long time to spend together, and he would have many opportunities to be with him and face the pain and joy of life together.
Although it may feel a bit regretful, whose life is perfect?
He has been without a father since he was a child. His mother is in poor health and his family is poor. He is always worried about whether he has enough money to spend and lives in fear.
After graduation and starting work, nothing seemed to change. His boss withheld wages, his colleagues bullied and envied him, and his so-called hobbies and dreams were shattered by reality. Dengyuan, a luxurious and sophisticated place, was full of opportunities to succeed, but he lived a life worse than an ant.
From this point of view, his current life is already very good, he should feel satisfied and then work hard to make money. After all, the past has happened, but he must firmly grasp the direction of the future in his own hands.
Only when he becomes strong can he protect all the people he wants to protect.
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