Chapter 50: Awakened
When she arrived at Chuangyu Group, Song Xuexi was processing a pile of documents in the chairman's office. When she saw Xu Nuoyan and Liao Feng, she jumped up from her chair, ran to Liao Feng, threw herself into his arms, and hugged him tightly.
Tears fell on Liao Feng's shoulders, and the soft sobs made the two grown men feel distressed and sad, especially Liao Feng who felt guilty. Every time something happened to him, Song Xuexi would worry and cry. No matter how strong she was, she would always cry because of their injuries and feel sad with their sadness.
If they were happy, she would be happier than both of them. This was their most meaningful friendship. "How about we celebrate our 20th anniversary?" Xu Nuoyan suddenly spoke up from the side.
Liao Feng was stunned for a moment, and then he heard Song Xuexi's nasal, muffled scolding on his shoulder: "...Xu Nuoyan, are you sick... Why are you saying this suddenly..." But she held Liao Feng's arms tighter, as if this proposal had found an outlet for her huge worries and pressure.
Liao Feng could feel that her tears were flowing more violently, but they were no longer pure sadness, but mixed with something else.
He sighed, raised his hand, and tapped Song Xuexi's forehead lightly with his knuckles, not very skillfully: "Get up, Song Xuexi, your makeup has ruined my 800,000 yuan haute couture suit."
Hearing this, Song Xuexi immediately became dissatisfied and let go of him, shouting, "What the hell, I'm not wearing any makeup, I just put on a moisturizing spray and lipstick." Liao Feng patted the non-existent dust on his shoulder and said, "Isn't applying moisturizing spray and then putting on lipstick also makeup? Besides, apart from the lipstick, you can hardly tell what else I'm wearing."
Song Xuexi looked at him speechlessly and asked, "No, Liao Feng, do you think that people with fair skin, beautiful eyes, and long eyelashes are born that way?"
Liao Feng uttered an "ah" and frowned slightly, clearly not understanding the teasing in her words. Instead, he retorted in a serious tone, almost academic, "No matter how thick the foundation is, its adhesion shouldn't be enough to cause large-scale transfer after just a brief contact, right? Your assumption is invalid."
Song Xuexi was choked by his straight-man answer and rolled her eyes. Just as she was about to continue arguing, she was interrupted by Liao Feng's next words.
"Let's not talk about this anymore." Liao Feng waved his hand and brought the topic back on track. "Yanyan's suggestion is a good one. Since we can't remember the exact day we met," he rubbed his chin and made a decision, "let's make it my birthday. It's a double blessing, and it saves you from having to remember an extra date."
Song Xuexi's attention was successfully diverted, and she immediately nodded in agreement, and the previous argument about the foundation was instantly forgotten.
Xu Nuoyan sat quietly aside with a knowing smile on his face.
Soon, the three of them sat together and enthusiastically discussed the details of the anniversary. The atmosphere was so warm that it seemed as if they had returned to their youth.
The division of labor was quickly clarified: Song Xuexi was responsible for the overall coordination of costumes, the list of invited guests, etc.; Liao Feng's health had not yet recovered and he was ordered to rest, so he happily accepted the role of "full sponsor"; Xu Nuoyan took charge of the on-site layout and menu customization, etc., which required carefulness and aesthetics.
However, when drawing up the guest list, Song Xuexi encountered a problem. The tip of her pen hovered over the paper. She looked at Liao Feng hesitantly, her tone cautious and tentative: "Um... should we send out the invitations to the Ruan brothers and sisters?"
Liao Feng was looking down at the draft budget on the tablet. He paused almost imperceptibly when he heard this. He didn't look up, but said in a flat voice with no emotion: "You decide. I don't want to see them, but I don't care whether they come or not." His tone was understated, as if he really didn't care.
But Song Xuexi knew him too well. She could hear a hint of imperceptible relaxation in his overly deliberate calmness, and she could also understand Xu Nuoyan's expectant eyes when they were discussing the invitation list.
She knew clearly in her heart: beneath Liao Feng's so-called "indifference", there was a very secret expectation that even he himself might not have noticed, perhaps about Ruan Xingfeng.
As for Xu Nuoyan, he obviously also hoped that the wolf tribe would appear.
It was not until her own heart suddenly palpitated at the name "Ruan Yuexin" that Song Xuexi suddenly realized that in this emotional entanglement, it was not just the two of them who were experiencing the coexistence of desire and cowardice.
The shadow of her beautiful ex-wife, who had deceived her but whom she could not completely hate, had always been lurking in a corner of her heart.
She quickly lowered her eyelashes to hide the complex emotions in her eyes, and said in a professional tone: "Okay, I'll decide on the list. It's up to us whether to send it out or not, and it's up to them whether to come or not." She seemed to be talking to Liao Feng and Xu Nuoyan, but more like giving an order to herself.
The atmosphere in the office changed slightly because of this topic. The warm current of friendship was still flowing, but it was quietly mixed with some complex and unspeakable emotions.
The 20th anniversary is destined to be more than just a simple gathering of old friends.
When the invitation fell into Ruan Xingfeng's hands, he looked at the thin piece of paper on the desk and felt a little overwhelmed. He didn't look inside. When his assistant handed it in, he thought it was a wedding invitation, so he didn't dare to open it to read.
There was no news report about Liao Feng's marriage. Song Xuexi and the young master of the Li family's weddings were reported by major news media, but Liao Feng's wedding was so quiet. Who was the other party that was worthy of Liao Feng's careful protection and that he was reluctant to let others see it?
Just the thought of it made his eyes tear up.
My heart felt like it was being tightly gripped by an ice-cold hand, and the suffocating pain was mixed with endless shame and regret.
Yes, speaking of the calculated wedding, wasn’t it planned by Ruan Xingfeng himself?
It was he who personally crushed all the sweetness and promises at that well-known wedding, leaving Liao Feng alone, standing in the astonished, pitying and even mocking gazes of the guests, enduring the almost overwhelming humiliation and pain.
It was he who made Liao Feng almost crazy.
Now, Liao Feng was finally about to usher in the happiness that truly belonged to him and was worth cherishing. How could he dare to show up again? How could he still go?
Liao Feng was so low-key, so carefully protecting her, avoiding any reports of the wedding in the newspapers... Was it because he was afraid? Afraid of another accident, afraid of that nightmare repeating itself? So he had to hide the real treasure carefully, preventing any possible harm.
In Ruan Xingfeng's view, this extreme protection became the most silent yet sharpest accusation of his past crimes.
He, Liao Feng, was really frightened by Ruan Xingfeng, so frightened that he didn't even dare to show his happiness.
This realization made Ruan Xingfeng feel more ashamed than any accusation. It was like a blunt knife grinding against his heart repeatedly, causing him so much pain that he could hardly straighten his back.
How could he have the nerve to go? To remind Liao Feng of his shameful past? To tarnish the happiness he had worked so hard to rebuild?
He didn't even have the courage to open it and see with his own eyes this "happiness" that was like torture to him.
The exquisite invitation lay quietly on the table, but it seemed to weigh a thousand pounds, making it hard for him to breathe.
In the end, he just reached out and picked it up with his slightly trembling fingertips. Without even looking at it, he stuffed it into the bottom of the drawer as if avoiding some plague and closed the drawer with force.
As if this could temporarily seal and bury the news, along with the guilt and sorrow that almost overwhelmed him.
He needed time and needed to muster tremendous, almost impossible courage to face this invitation, which seemed to him like a final judgment.
What he didn't know was that just as he closed the drawer and tried to calm his turbulent emotions, the private communicator he placed on the table vibrated slightly.
The screen lit up, displaying a new message from her sister, Ruan Yuexin:
[Brother, did you receive the invitation from Song Xuexi? The three of them are going to celebrate their 20th anniversary of friendship on Mr. Liao's birthday. Are you going?]
Time seemed to freeze at this moment.
Ruan Xingfeng stared at the message in a daze, every word was like a slow motion, clearly and cruelly imprinted in his mind.
Liao Feng's birthday party, also commemorating 20 years of friendship
Not a wedding invitation.
It turns out...it wasn't a wedding.
An indescribable and extremely complicated emotion suddenly rushed into his heart, including the exhaustion of a huge stone falling from his body, and the absurdity of realizing that he had completely misjudged the situation. But what followed was even more shame and embarrassment than before, which almost swallowed him up!
What was he thinking just now? He actually self-righteously and painfully speculated that Liao Feng was carefully nurturing another marriage, and even thought that Liao Feng was so low-key because he was afraid of him.
It turns out that all this was just his ridiculous and pathetic self-torture!
Liao Feng didn't have a new wife to protect. Perhaps his supposed "low-key" and "protective" attitude was simply because... the core of this gathering had never been "love," but rather the unbreakable friendship between the three of them, a bond that Ruan Xingfeng had long since lost the right to participate in.
"Twenty Years of Friendship"... These words were like red-hot needles, pricking his eyes and causing them pain.
How could he have the nerve to go? With what identity? A criminal who nearly killed Liao Feng? An ex who had abandoned him at their wedding? The most shameful, unnecessary stain and outsider in their perfect friendship story?
A huge wave of shame washed over him like a tsunami, making him want to find a hole to crawl into immediately. The rich inner drama he had just experienced now felt like the most bitter mockery, lashing out at his nerves over and over again.
His hands were shaking even more than before, and he could barely hold the communicator.
He looked at the message from his sister, and the question "Are you going?" became the most difficult question in the world to answer.
Is he going? Is he not going?
No matter which choice you make, it will be accompanied by endless pain and embarrassment.
In the end, he just slumped in the chair as if all his strength had been drained, without replying to Ruan Yuexin.
The invitation letter that he had thrown deep into the drawer seemed to be burning silently in the darkness, burning his soul.
Suddenly, another message came from Li Mingyuan, [Xingfeng, are you free to have a drink? I feel like you've lost your direction lately]. His tone still didn't sound like a man who was almost 30 years old, but rather like a young man in his early 20s. It can't be said that childishness is a feeling of being full of energy. This is the child who was brought up by being spoiled, Ruan Xingfeng thought to himself.
In the barbecue restaurant, two people drank a bottle of beer each. Ruan Xingfeng's alcohol tolerance was not very good, and his face turned red after drinking one glass. He lay on the table and muttered something to himself.
Seeing her like this, Li Mingyuan smiled and said, "How come you have such a low alcohol tolerance as a bartender?" Ruan Xingfeng raised her eyes, rolled her eyes and continued to lie down.
"Do you feel guilty? Do you think you are a sinner?" Li Mingyuan asked seriously after joking. Hearing this, Ruan Xingfeng's brain instantly became clear, and he wondered how Li Mingyuan knew everything.
"Well, everyone blames me, and I blame myself too, because I, Liao Feng, have become half-dead," he said while burping.
Li Mingyuan's chopsticks slammed against the table, not really hitting Ruan Xingfeng, but the sound and words were like a bolt of lightning that split his drunken state.
"Who brainwashed you?" Li Mingyuan's voice was unusually sharp. "Just because they say you have a problem, you have a problem? How did that high-spirited Ruan Xingfeng disappear? Is this the extent of your willpower? Are you denying yourself just because of a few words or glances from Liao Feng's friends?"
Ruan Xingfeng subconsciously raised his head and avoided it. His eyes were a little confused due to alcohol and shock, but he was involuntarily attracted by Li Mingyuan's words.
"Ruan Xingfeng, remember this," Li Mingyuan stared into his eyes, his tone firm, "Your starting point was right. You were right to want to leave Liao Feng and make your own way! It's just that you were used in the process! The one who truly hurt Liao Feng wasn't you, but his own personality! Look for other people's faults first, don't burn yourself! You helped him solve his biggest enemy, so there will be no grudges between you two!"
These words were like a heavy hammer, hitting Ruan Xingfeng's heart with every word.
He was stunned, the dizziness brought by the alcohol seemed to be dispelled by this strong impact. He opened his mouth, wanting to refute, but found that his throat seemed to be blocked by something.
All along, everyone told him "you are wrong" and "you deserve to die", and even he himself was deeply trapped in this quagmire of self-blame and unable to extricate himself.
He was used to looking for reasons within himself, taking on all the blame, and was almost crushed by this burden.
But Li Mingyuan... this seemingly heartless and spoiled young master, used the most direct and even somewhat "brutal" way to pull him out of that self-torturing mindset!
The starting point was right... I was just being used... What really hurt Liao Feng was his own personality... You helped him eliminate his biggest enemy... There is no more grudge...
These thoughts grew wildly like weeds in his desolate heart.
Is it really possible to think like this? Can he really let himself go?
A huge, indescribable feeling of grievance and belated clarity suddenly surged up, making his nose sore and his eyes red in an instant.
He lowered his head suddenly, not wanting Li Mingyuan to see his miserable appearance, and his fingers tightly grasped the cold beer glass.
Yes, why did he leave in the first place? Wasn't it because he couldn't stand Liao Feng's almost paranoid control and his always condescending attitude? Wasn't it because he wanted to prove that he wasn't just a nymph that depended on him for existence?
He just... used the wrong method, trusted the wrong person, and took a wrong step. Apart from accidentally hurting Liao Feng, he handled everything else well.
"But..." His voice was nasal and choked, almost squeezed out from between his teeth, "...but it's a fact that I almost killed him... I... I can't pretend it didn't happen..."
"Who told you to pretend it didn't happen?" Li Mingyuan sighed, his tone softening. He poured him another glass of wine and this time pushed it in front of him. "What happened happened. It's your fault. Admit it. Apologize. Make amends. Take responsibility."
"But," he changed the subject and pointed his chopsticks at Ruan Xingfeng's chest, "Don't nail yourself to the pillar of shame for the rest of your life. If Liao Feng really hated you to the core, do you think Song Xuexi would have sent you that invitation? Liao Feng...tsk," Li Mingyuan curled his lips, "He's being awkward. If he really thought you were unforgivable, he wouldn't have given you any chance to get close to him, let alone such a symbolic invitation."
"That invitation..." Ruan Xingfeng suddenly looked up and looked at him with red eyes.
"Maybe it's just a way out?" Li Mingyuan winked at him, his cynical expression returning to normal. "Are you stupid? What's the point of torturing yourself here? Be a man, just be straightforward! If you want to go, go ahead and ask them face to face! At worst, you'll be kicked out again. How can it get any worse than this?"
Ruan Xingfeng looked at him blankly. The heavy, frozen ice in his heart seemed to have been cracked by Li Mingyuan's unreasonable and inexplicable words, and a faint but real light came through.
Yeah... could it be worse than this self-exile and self-torture?
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