Chapter 206 Shen Sangning's Answer
Lin Xi ordered a few dishes that both she and Shen Sangning liked. Shen Sangning handed the black ball to the waiter, asking him to prepare it. Then Lin Xi got busy. She moved the surrounding tables aside and dimmed the lights. Finally, she fumbled for a candle and lighter at the front desk before returning to her table.
After she came back, she didn't sit down immediately, but was busy for a while.
There were no other colored candles in the Rule Ghost Story World, only a long white candle placed on the candlestick.
It doesn't matter. Generally speaking, white candles are used for candlelight dinners. When Lin Xi lit it, a ghost suddenly appeared and performed a shouting expression. Lin Xi paused for a moment, and looked at Shen Sang Ning with some grievance. Shen Sang Ning held back her laughter, stretched out her hand and pulled the candle ghost over, threatening it to keep the candle well, and if it dared to come out again, she would eat it.
The candle ghost felt a little aggrieved, but still shrank back and turned back into an ordinary candle.
"Why is there a ghost in the candle?" Lin Xi sat down. She originally wanted to create a romantic atmosphere, but the moment the candle was lit, it suddenly turned into a comedy.
Shen Sangning answered Lin Xi's question and turned the comedy into a horror film: "Maybe the story is that it was originally an employee of the candle factory, and accidentally fell into the candle mold, and then was crushed into pieces and merged with the candle."
"No way, how unlucky is this person?"
"It's also possible that it met a perverted killer and was refined into oil and made into candles."
Whatever Shen Sangning said, Lin Xi thought of something in her mind. She felt a chill at that moment and shook her head before saying, "Ningning, don't say such horrible things!"
Shen Sangning smiled again: “Okay, I won’t say anymore.”
Although it was a more terrifying candle, the candlelight was still warm. The warm yellow candlelight reflected on Shen Sang Ning's face, making her originally pale face look less scary, but more like when she was alive. Lin Xi actually understood that there was not much time left for the two of them. She was dazed for a moment, and couldn't help but think of when she first cooperated with Cai Hua, she was clearly thinking of leaving Shen Sang Ning a place to gain a foothold in the real world. ^
Unexpectedly, I didn't even need that leeway.
She actually didn't want to bring up some things that would spoil the fun, but she had just met Chen Sangning's parents not long ago. Although it was fake, she couldn't help but wonder: What does Ningning think?
So she was stunned for a moment before asking, "Ningning, do you miss your parents?"
As expected, Shen Sangning was stunned for a moment, and she did not answer immediately. Shen Sangning's elbows rested on the table, her palms supporting her chin, and the smile on her face disappeared temporarily. Lin Xi was familiar with her expression, she was thinking seriously.
After a short while, under the flickering candlelight, Shen Sangning seemed to have finally figured out the answer to this question, and said slowly, "Actually, I don't know either."
Lin Xi didn't rush to answer, but waited for Shen Sang Ning to speak. Both of them knew that Shen Sang Ning would never see her parents again. The question Lin Xi asked was the last chance for Shen Sang Ning to talk to her parents through the screen. The next instance might be the last time, and she would definitely be very nervous at that time. There would be no time for Shen Sang Ning to express her last words to her parents.
It could be considered a last word, after all, Shen Sangning was dead, and she had no chance to say such words to her parents before she died.
The candlelight fell on the center of Shen Sangning's eyes. There was only a little warm yellow light in her black eyes. Her voice was very soft, like a feather, falling quietly and you would miss it if you didn't look carefully.
"Honestly, I don't have any hatred towards them. Generally speaking, they are very good parents. I have never had to worry about food and clothing since I was a child, and I have never had to worry about money. They did their best to raise me. If it weren't for the resources they provided, I would definitely not be the Chen Sangning I am today. In this sense, I am grateful to them."
She pursed her lips and changed the subject: "I think I love them, just as they love me. But on the other hand, I also hate them. I feel like I didn't have much of a childhood. From childhood to adulthood, I've always studied very hard, so hard that I barely have time for fun. That's why, during such an important time in high school, I told them I was going to study in the study room while I was playing games in an illegal internet cafe."
"Parents and children, most of the relationship is like this. Hate on one side, love on the other. But with my death, I feel that everything has changed." Shen Sangning smiled: "I actually felt that my whole body was relaxed, without any constraints. Of course, I'm not saying that I want to die. In fact, I don't want to die at all. I want to be with you. The days living with you are so happy, how could I think about dying."
This is also true. Shen Sangning is not the kind of person who wants to die, but after she really died, she felt extremely relieved.
"To be honest, I'm actually afraid of coming out, too. I'm not as free and easy as you, Lin Xi. Every time I encounter a situation where our relationship might be exposed, or when you suggest coming out, I feel a lot of pressure."
Shen Sangning reached out and grasped the candle that Lin Xi had placed on the table. This movement caused her to lean forward, bringing the warm yellow candlelight even closer. She raised her head, and the candlelight reflected in her eyes was replaced by Lin Xi.
Lin Xi's figure seemed to have a golden edge against the candlelight, which was extremely obvious in Shen Sangning's pupils.
"I am planning to come out, and that has never changed. Because I want to be with you, forever. But I'm also afraid. I'm afraid of changing my relationship with my parents."
Lin Xi also knew these things.
I also understand Chen Sangning's hesitation. This is a setback every same-sex couple in China faces: wanting to come out to their parents but fearing it. Only a very small number of people, like Lin Xi: those with no relatives at all or who simply don't care, can choose to come out directly.
Of course, there are exceptions where parents are particularly open-minded, but the vast majority are like Shen Sangning, with layer upon layer of pressure weighing on her, making it difficult for her to take that step.
Lin Xi didn't blame Chen Sangning, she would just wait and see. Even if she didn't come out, she wouldn't say anything. But Chen Sangning obviously wouldn't do that. She would definitely come out, and in the near future.
But before Shen Sangning could make her choice, she passed away. After her death, Lin Xi became the one who didn't want to come out. In the first days after Shen Sangning's death, she actually had the opportunity to tell everyone that she was Shen Sangning's lover, but Lin Xi chose to remain silent.
Knowing how harshly homosexuals are criticized in the real world, he didn't want Shen Sangning to be criticized after her death.
The strange talk about rules was an accident. If it weren't for these things, she would probably keep silent about it for the rest of her life.
"Lin Xi, I know that during the period after my death, they may have come to you and said a lot of unpleasant things to you. I apologize to you on their behalf." Before Shen Sangning could finish her words, she felt Lin Xi's hand being clasped back, with some force.
"Ningning, don't apologize..."
"I want it, not for myself, but for them." Chen Sangning took a deep breath and smiled at Lin Xi: "But from now on, or from the moment I die, my fate with them is over. I am just me, Chen Sangning, and no longer their daughter."
When a person dies, dust returns to dust. It is a simple truth.
"The only person I care about is you."
Shen Sangning stood up, the chair moving back behind her. She didn't stand up completely, but instead held Lin Xi's hand, resting her other hand on the table, her lower abdomen resting on the edge, leaning towards Lin Xi. Lin Xi subconsciously raised her head, and was greeted by Shen Sangning's kiss.
Her hair was neatly tied up at the back of her head, but a few strands of hair fell down from her temples and landed on Lin Xi's cheek.
It was a little itchy, but compared to Shen Sangning's kiss, it seemed insignificant. The warm yellow candlelight was mostly blocked by Shen Sangning's upper body, and the green skirt was reflected by the light, with a yellow tint. The closer to Lin Xi, the dimmer the light seemed.
Even the big eyeballs could only illuminate a warm yellow edge in the darkness, and nothing looked real.
Shen Sangning's kiss was not heavy, but light, like a dragonfly touching the water. But to Lin Xi, it was heavy, because this kiss was Shen Sangning telling the whole world that she loved him. Even though she had already told everyone this fact the moment she appeared, it was not as straightforward as this kiss.
Maybe Shen Sangning's parents will go crazy in front of the screen, but what does that have to do with Lin Xi and Shen Sangning? They are two lonely souls, and they become complete because of each other. Just like there is only Shen Sangning in Lin Xi's world, now Shen Sangning's world is also the same.
Shen Sangning could have said something nice to make her last words to her parents more tender, but she disdained to do so. She spoke her true feelings and completely severed her connection with the real world.
It was really hard for Lin Xi not to be moved by Shen Sangning, who was so resolute yet gentle to her.
When the kiss parted, Lin Xi saw the shimmering, watery appearance of Shen Sangning's lips under the warm yellow candlelight, and realized that she had kissed him. Shen Sangning's lips were moist, but Lin Xi felt her throat dry.
No, if they do something else, their live broadcast room will immediately turn from pure love to a black screen.
Just then, the waiter arrived to serve the food. Lin Xi simply ordered a glass of water and drank it all in one gulp. Shen Sangning smiled beside her, her eyes particularly soft.
Then it was time for a candlelight dinner. To fit in with the atmosphere, Lin Xi even ordered a steak, well-done, of course. She didn't want to see the bloody beef in the world of the rules and strange stories.
In front of Shen Sangning was black balls stewed with red wine and black pepper.
The restaurant's chefs were indeed quite skilled. The steak in front of Lin Xi gave her the feeling of a real-world restaurant with a thousand-yuan per person. If she and Shen Sang Ning could spend the rest of their lives enjoying the company of a three-star chef, that would be... not bad either.
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