Chapter Twenty-One: Revealing the Truth
When Shen Rulan took the painting, her fingertips touched the coolness of the Xuan paper. The ink of the lotus flowers on it was still damp, and the pale red edges of the petals seemed to have captured the summer of Slender West Lake on the paper.
She carefully rolled up the drawing, tied it tightly with the brocade ribbon she always carried, and tucked it inside her clothes—there it was against her heart, where she could feel the delicate touch of the paper through the fabric, as if Su Moqing's presence had stayed with her.
"I will definitely keep it safe." Shen Rulan's voice was slightly hoarse. She raised her hand to help Su Moqing straighten her collar, which had been ruffled by the wind, and her fingertips brushed against the skin of her neck. "The affairs in the capital are complicated and may take some time, but I will try to come back as soon as possible. There is Granny Rong to take care of you in the manor. If you want to go out to sketch, have Shen Fu take more people with you. Be careful in everything you do."
Su Moqing nodded, her gaze falling on the black jade buckle at his waist—the warm, lustrous jade gleamed softly in the sunlight. She reached out and gently touched it, whispering, "Take care of yourself in the capital. Don't overwork yourself for business. If you encounter any difficulties, remember... I'll be waiting for you in Yangzhou."
“Okay.” Shen Rulan held her hand, the warmth of her palm enveloping it. “When I come back, I’ll take you to Pingshan Hall to see the chrysanthemums. The ‘Golden Back Red’ chrysanthemums there are blooming beautifully. You’ll definitely be able to paint a wonderful scene.”
The two stayed in the pavilion for a while longer. It wasn't until Shen Fu came to urge them for the third time that Shen Rulan reluctantly let go of Su Moqing's hand and left.
Su Moqing stood in the pavilion, watching his figure gradually disappear into the distance. Only after the figure vanished did she slowly withdraw her gaze, her fingertips gently caressing the spot where he had just held hers, where his warmth still lingered.
Upon returning to Tingxuexuan, Shen Rulan immediately began preparations for her journey to the capital.
When Rong Momo helped her pack her luggage, she specially packed a whole box full of osmanthus cakes made by Su Moqing, and also prepared several thick cotton-padded clothes—autumn in the capital is colder than in Yangzhou, and she was afraid that she would get cold on the way.
Looking at the osmanthus cake in the box, Shen Rulan recalled Su Moqing's busy figure in the kitchen yesterday. Her heart was filled with warmth, but she also felt a little worried.
“Granny,” Shen Rulan suddenly spoke up, “After I leave, please take good care of Mo Qing. She is quiet and doesn’t like to talk about her worries. Talk to her more often, and if she wants to go back to Lotus Lane, have Shen Fu accompany her.”
"Don't worry, young master, this old servant understands." Rong Mama folded a black cloak and put it into the box. "Miss Su is a good girl, this old servant will treat her well, just like my own daughter. You can focus on your work in the capital, this old servant will take care of things in the manor."
Shen Rulan nodded, her gaze falling on the book "Poetry and Painting Combined" that Su Moqing had given her on the desk—the pages bore markings made by Su Moqing in vermilion ink, and next to the line "An orchid grows in a secluded valley," she had drawn a small ink orchid, the brushstrokes delicate, carrying her unique gentleness. She put the book into her luggage, thinking that when she had nothing to do on the journey, she could read it to pass the time and often think of Su Moqing.
The next morning, Shen Rulan, along with Shen Fu and several guards, boarded the official ship bound for the capital.
As the boat set sail, she stood at the bow, watching the outline of Yangzhou gradually blur until only the shimmering waves remained on the canal surface, before turning and entering the cabin.
Shen Fu brought over a cup of hot tea and said softly, "Young Master, please don't worry too much. Miss Su will be fine in the manor."
Shen Rulan took the teacup, her gaze falling on the window, and said softly, "I'm not worried about her life in the manor, but I'm worried... that this trip to the capital might not go too smoothly."
She knew perfectly well that the Imperial Household Department's sudden decree summoning her to the capital was not merely for the purpose of cooperating in the procurement of Western goods.
After the downfall of the Cao family, the power structure of the Imperial Household Department in the capital was reshuffled. The newly appointed chief eunuch wanted to win over wealthy merchants in Jiangnan to consolidate his position, and the Shen family, as the leading salt merchants in Yangzhou, naturally became their target.
This trip to Beijing is not only about discussing cooperation, but also about navigating the complex relationships between various factions. A slight misstep could bring trouble to the Shen family.
The official ship sailed very fast and arrived in the capital in less than ten days.
Officials from the Imperial Household Department were already waiting at the dock. Upon seeing Shen Rulan disembark, they immediately stepped forward and bowed respectfully: "Young Master Shen, you must be tired from your journey. The head steward has prepared a small banquet at the mansion, especially to welcome you."
Shen Rulan politely returned the greeting and followed the official into the carriage to the Imperial Household Department.
The carriage traveled through the streets of the capital, flanked by magnificent buildings that were a stark contrast to the picturesque water towns of Yangzhou in southern China.
Shen Rulan lifted the carriage curtain and looked at the pedestrians coming and going on the street, secretly on guard—the capital was not like Yangzhou, there were spies everywhere, and she had to be careful with her words and actions.
The chief eunuch of the Imperial Household Department, surnamed Liu, was a man who appeared gentle but was actually shrewd. Upon seeing Shen Rulan, he immediately greeted him warmly: "Young Master Shen is indeed a man of great talent and ability! I have long heard that Young Master Shen manages the Shen family's business in an orderly manner, and seeing him today, I can see that he is indeed extraordinary."
Shen Rulan smiled modestly: "Steward Liu, you flatter me. I have only done my best and dare not accept the title of 'young and promising'."
After exchanging pleasantries for a while, the two got down to business.
Chief Steward Liu proposed that the Shen family be responsible for procuring Western glassware, clocks, and other items to supply the concubines and nobles in the palace. He also hoped that the Shen family could contribute funds to assist the Imperial Household Department in repairing some of the buildings in the Summer Palace.
Shen Rulan knew that purchasing Western goods was profitable, but repairing the Summer Palace was a hot potato—the amount of money involved was huge, and it was easy for someone to find fault with it; if she was not careful, she could be accused of "embezzlement".
She hesitated for a moment, then slowly said, "Steward Liu, I can agree to procure Western goods. The Shen family has trading ports in Guangzhou and Shanghai, which can ensure the quality and quantity of the goods. However, the renovation of the Summer Palace involves a huge amount of money, and I need to return to Yangzhou to discuss it with the elders of my clan. I hope Steward Liu can grant me a few days."
Upon hearing this, Steward Liu's eyes flashed with displeasure, but he quickly concealed it and said with a smile, "Young Master Shen should act cautiously. I can wait for you for a few days. However, this matter concerns the reputation of the palace, so I hope Young Master Shen will give me an answer as soon as possible."
In the following days, Shen Rulan dealt with Steward Liu while secretly gathering information about the capital.
She discovered that the reason why Steward Liu was so eager to get the Shen family to fund the renovation of the Summer Palace was that he wanted to take this opportunity to curry favor with the emperor and also to gain benefits from it.
Meanwhile, several ministers in the court were also eyeing the Shen family covetously, hoping to take the opportunity to win them over or suppress them.
Shen Rulan knew that she could not agree to this matter lightly, otherwise it would not only put the Shen family in trouble, but also implicate Su Moqing.
After much deliberation, she finally decided to decline Manager Liu's request, citing that "the Shen family has recently suffered a slight loss in trade with Southeast Asia and is temporarily unable to bear the huge amount of silver." She only agreed to be responsible for procuring Western goods and was willing to pay an additional 10% in taxes as a sign of sincerity.
Although Steward Liu was dissatisfied, seeing Shen Rulan's resolute attitude and willingness to pay more taxes, he dared not press her too hard—the Shen family had a great deal of influence in Jiangnan, and pushing her too far would not benefit him either.
Ultimately, the two reached an agreement and signed a contract to purchase Western goods.
After the matter was settled, Shen Rulan did not dare to delay and immediately prepared to return to Yangzhou.
Manager Liu sent someone to deliver many local specialties from the capital to him to take back to Yangzhou.
Shen Rulan accepted the gift politely, but did not linger. She boarded the official ship returning to Yangzhou that same day.
As the official boat sailed on the canal, Shen Rulan stood at the bow, watching the scenery on both banks gradually become familiar, her longing to return home growing stronger.
She took out the lotus painting by Su Moqing, and gently unfolded it. The lotus flowers in the painting were still fresh, as if one could smell their faint fragrance.
She recalled Su Moqing's words of advice when she left Yangzhou, and the way Su Moqing watched her leave from the pavilion. Her heart was filled with anticipation—she could finally return to her side.
In less than ten days, the official ship arrived at the Yangzhou dock.
As soon as Shen Rulan disembarked, she saw Shen Fu waiting on the shore with several servants, his face full of joy: "Young Master, you're finally back! Miss Su knew you were coming back today, so she went to the kitchen early this morning to prepare your favorite dishes!"
Shen Rulan felt a warmth in her heart and quickly walked towards the Shen residence. Just as she reached the entrance of the Shen residence, she saw Su Moqing standing under the eaves waiting.
She wore a lotus-root-colored satin blouse embroidered with magnolia patterns, over which she wore a moon-white vest embroidered with butterflies and flowers. Her long, dark hair was styled in two small buns, with a kingfisher feather and pearl hairpin in the center, and a velvet begonia flower tucked at her temple. Her face wore a gentle smile, and when she saw her return, her eyes immediately sparkled with a radiant light, as if stars had fallen into spring water.
"You're back!" Su Moqing strode forward, her voice tinged with excitement. She reached out to take the luggage from his hands, but Shen Rulan gently avoided her. His action startled Su Moqing slightly.
Looking into her clear eyes, Shen Rulan could no longer suppress the impulse she had been holding back for so long—she could no longer keep it a secret, especially after the events in the capital. She knew even more clearly that if she wanted to stay with her for a long time, she had to be honest with her.
“Mo Qing,” Shen Rulan’s voice was a little tight. She grasped her wrist, but the grip was very light. “Come with me. I have something very important to tell you.”
Looking at his serious expression, Su Moqing felt a strange unease rise in her heart. She nodded and followed Shen Rulan into the study of Tingxuexuan.
Shen Rulan closed the door, her fingertips trembling slightly as she turned around. She took a deep breath, as if she had made a death wish, before slowly speaking: "Mo Qing, I... I am not a man, I am a woman."
With a "boom," the words exploded in Su Moqing's mind like a thunderclap. She jerked her hand back, staggered back two steps, and her back slammed into the rosewood bookshelf behind her, causing several volumes of "The Salt Law Records" to slip to the ground with a clatter, but she was completely unaware.
She stared blankly at the person before her—still wearing that same sky-blue silk robe after the rain, still with those handsome features and upright posture, even the strand of hair by his temple that had been ruffled by the wind was as usual. But those five words were like a quenched knife, shattering all her understanding of the past two years into nothingness.
"You... what did you say?" Su Moqing's voice trembled violently. She subconsciously raised her hand, but her fingertips froze just before touching the other person's chest, then withdrew as if electrocuted. "This is impossible... You are clearly Young Master Shen, the head of the Shen family, a salt merchant family known to everyone in Yangzhou. How could you..."
Her gaze swept frantically across Chen Rulan's throat and chin. These details, which she had usually overlooked, were now as piercing as needles. Her heart pounded in her chest like a drum, making her eardrums buzz, as if the whole world was spinning upside down.
Shen Rulan closed her eyes, letting the other person's scrutinizing gaze sweep over her body like a blade. She slowly raised her trembling hand, guiding Su Moqing's icy fingertips to gently press them against her chest—through a layer of Hangzhou silk, beneath which lay a tightly wrapped white bodice, and... a soft and real outline.
"Can you feel it?" Shen Rulan's voice was so low and hoarse that it was almost broken. "This is the secret I've kept hidden for twenty years."
Su Moqing's fingertips trembled violently as if burned, but were firmly pressed down by the other person. The sensation from the palm was unmistakable, completely shattering her last shred of hope. She abruptly pulled her hand back, her knuckles pale as she gripped her clothes tightly, as if trying to suppress the mind-blowing tremor.
"It's true." Shen Rulan looked at her flustered appearance, her heart aching as if pricked by needles. She took a step forward, wanting to get closer but afraid of disturbing her. "Moqing, I didn't mean to lie to you. Not long after I was born, my father encountered bandits on the canal and died in such a hurry. The Shen family was beset by internal and external troubles. My second uncle coveted the family property, and my grandmother and mother had no choice but to have me pretend to be the son to stabilize the Shen family's situation step by step. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was afraid... afraid you couldn't accept it, afraid you would leave me."
Su Moqing's tears fell unexpectedly, not from anger, but from immense confusion and bewilderment. She recalled the bits and pieces of the past two years—her focused attention when explaining painting manuals to her in the library, her composure in rescuing her in Guazhou Town, her gentleness when discussing poetry and painting with her in the corridor… These images were now shrouded in an eerie light, making it impossible for her to distinguish between what was real and what was fake.
"So... was all your kindness to me fake?" Su Moqing asked, her voice choked with sobs, tears blurring her vision. "Did you have other motives for approaching me?"
"No!" Shen Rulan hurriedly explained, her voice tinged with urgency, "My feelings for you have always been genuine! From our first meeting in front of 'Ink Fragrance Studio' to seeing you paint in the library, my heart was moved at that moment. My kindness to you isn't for any ulterior motive; it's simply because I want to be good to you. Mo Qing, you must believe me!"
But Su Moqing couldn't hear anything at the moment. She shook her head vigorously, turned around, pushed open the door, and ran out of the study almost as if fleeing. She walked quickly along the lakeside path, her ears filled with the sound of her own heartbeat and Shen Rulan's words. The flowers by the lake were still beautiful, but they became blurry in her eyes.
She ran back to her bedroom, closed the door, and slid slowly to the floor, her back against the door panel. Tears streamed down her face silently, soaking her clothes. It wasn't that she disliked Shen Rulan being a woman, but rather that she couldn't accept this sudden deception, unable to immediately reverse the perception she had held for over two years.
She recalled her father's dying words, her hesitation about entrusting her life to him, and the tacit understanding between them in their letters... It turned out that from the very beginning, she had been living in a huge lie.
When Rong Mama heard the commotion and rushed over, she saw Su Moqing curled up on the ground, crying. She understood, sighed softly, squatted down, and handed her a handkerchief: "Miss Su, this old servant knows you are heartbroken. Young Master... she had no choice."
Su Moqing took the handkerchief, wiped away her tears, and said in a hoarse voice, "Granny, why did she lie to me for so long? I always thought... we were of one mind."
"Young Master is afraid," Rong Mama patted her back and said softly. "She's had such a difficult journey. For her, men's clothing is not only a disguise, but also armor to protect herself. She cares about you, that's why she's so afraid of losing you. Miss Su, calm down and think about it. Can't you feel how good the young master is to you?"
Su Moqing fell silent. Of course, she could feel it—the quiet help, the meticulous care, the concern hidden in the letters—it wasn't fake. But the shock of the truth was too great for her to accept immediately.
"Granny, I want to be alone for a while." Su Moqing stood up, walked to the window, and looked at the lake outside. "Let me think about it, okay?"
Rong Momo nodded, gently closed the door, and turned around to see Shen Rulan standing at the end of the corridor, looking dejected and with worry in her eyes.
Rong Momo sighed, "Young Master, Miss Su needs time, please don't be too anxious."
Shen Rulan nodded, her voice low: "I know, I was too hasty. I shouldn't have told her the truth before she was ready."
For the next few days, Su Moqing stayed in her bedroom and rarely went out.
Shen Rulan did not go to see her again. Instead, she had her maid deliver meals and her favorite painting books to her door every day. Occasionally, she would stand for a while on the veranda outside her bedroom, but she never lingered, for fear of disturbing her.
On the fifth day, Su Moqing finally opened the door.
She walked into the studio, looking at the familiar painting tools and paints, and at the Western paints that Shen Rulan had prepared for her. The chaos in her heart gradually subsided. She picked up a brush, dipped it in ink, and gently touched the rice paper—she was still painting orchids, but this time, her brushstrokes were more hesitant than usual.
Just then, Shen Rulan walked in carrying a bowl of lotus seed soup. She paused when she saw Su Moqing and said softly, "I noticed you haven't been eating properly for days, so I had the kitchen make some lotus seed soup. Would you like to try some?"
Su Moqing didn't turn around, but continued painting the orchids, her voice calm: "Put it down."
Shen Rulan placed the lotus seed soup on the painting table, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Mo Qing, I know you are still angry. If you want to leave the Shen family, I will not stop you. I will give you enough money so that you can paint in peace and live the life you want."
Su Moqing paused in her hand holding the paintbrush, then turned around and looked at Shen Rulan.
In the past few days, Shen Rulan has looked noticeably haggard, with faint dark circles under her eyes and stubble on her head. She has lost her usual refinement but gained a more real appearance.
“I didn’t intend to leave,” Su Moqing said softly, her gaze fixed on Shen Rulan’s face. “I just… need time to accept it. I need time to transform that ‘Young Master Shen’ into ‘Shen Rulan’.”
Upon hearing this, Shen Rulan's eyes lit up instantly; she could hardly believe her ears: "Mo Qing, you..."
"I admit, when I first learned the truth, I was confused and angry," Su Moqing continued, her tone much calmer. "I was angry that you had lied to me for so long, and angry that I had been kept in the dark all this time. But after I calmed down, I realized that what I cared about was never your identity, but you as a person. Whether you were Young Master Shen or Shen Rulan, I remember all the kindness you showed me."
She paused, looking at the joy in Shen Rulan's eyes, and a warmth rose in her heart: "But I need a little more time. Let's... take it slow, okay?"
Shen Rulan nodded vigorously, tears welling in her eyes. She stepped forward and carefully took Su Moqing's hand, the warmth of his palm reassuring her: "Okay, we'll take it slow. No matter how long it takes you, I'll wait for you."
Looking into her sincere eyes, Su Moqing gently grasped her hand in return, a faint smile appearing on her lips.
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