Chapter 14
Ying Jing spoke tough words, but the sadness in her eyes was so obvious that it was almost falling.
Yoda nodded: "It wasn't your fault to begin with. I ran back on my own. Who knew I'd be so unlucky, that lamp just happened to fall and hit me. Sigh, fate, it's all like this. But it's pretty good now. Seven years later, you're doing so well, so I can just sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor."
Ying Jing looked at Yoda without the slightest hint of unease, just as when the two had first met, and Yoda had repeatedly melted away his protective shell with her enthusiasm.
The toughness that had been holding her back melted away instantly, and her eyes welled up with tears. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to avoid you. I just... I just didn't know how to face you. If it weren't for my invitation back then, you would never have gone to that village to teach, and you wouldn't have encountered this."
Initially, Yingjing just thought it would be nice for the two of them to keep each other company, and Yoda had previously mentioned wanting to visit a place with beautiful mountains and clear waters. This place happened to be one of the options when we were choosing a location for our volunteer teaching assignment. However, it was remote, and few people went there.
Unexpectedly, when it was time to leave, Yingjing himself had something to do and couldn't go, so Shixing accompanied Yoda instead.
After Yoda's accident, Yingjing knew in his heart that he had led Yoda to a dangerous place and abandoned her to face unknown risks alone.
Rather than firmly believing she was innocent, Yingjing often couldn't help but feel afraid: what if Yoda really left one day? To avoid living in aimless fear, she could only tell herself over and over that she was innocent, that it had nothing to do with her, that it was all an accident, a natural disaster.
Yoda hugged Yingjing, and even though Yingjing was a head taller than him, he still awkwardly stood on tiptoe to hug him. "It's not your fault, don't blame yourself."
"Moreover," Yoda said with a grin, looking at Ying Jing, "I said before that I didn't want to work hard anymore, and that I'd let you guys work hard so I could live off you. I didn't expect that dream to come true so easily."
The tension in my shoulders gradually eased. Compared to constantly hypnotizing myself to escape the pain of self-blame, the living person in front of me was the best comfort.
Yoda pulled Yingjing along, waiting for the others. The two chatted as usual, with Yoda asking questions and Yingjing answering.
After the others finished taking photos, they returned to Yoda's side. Xie Yiyi saw Yingjing, turned to look at the smug Yoda, and exclaimed, "You really did wait for me!"
Seeing Xie Yiyi's awkward expression, Yoda quietly walked up to her. "Shouldn't you make up?" Yoda looked at Xie Yiyi expectantly.
Unable to withstand Yoda's intense gaze, Xie Yiyi reluctantly nodded to Yingjing as a gesture of reconciliation. Turning away, she whispered to Yoda, "Are you satisfied now? I'm not a child anymore; I'm already raising children."
Everyone looked at the camera, their faces bearing the marks of time, but in the moment they smiled, their youthful days were still captured in the photo.
In the photos, everyone seems to still look like they did when they were young, so full of hope, future and dreams, as if they had never been hurt.
After everything was over, Yingjing hurriedly left, and everyone returned to their own lives. Yoda also had to face the fact that she had lost her chance to start a new life.
Yoda watched as Xie Yiyi, who had become adept at using herself as motivation for her work, finally had a chance to chat after she finished her tasks.
Yoda didn't understand why Zhou Ying and Ying Jing felt guilty towards him. So much time had passed, and it wasn't their fault in the first place, was it?
Xie Yiyi took a sip of water to quench her thirst caused by the stress of work. "Because everyone's life moves forward, only you are stuck in the same place because of this. The further they move forward, the more they will realize how many possibilities you lost in life while you were unconscious. And the richer their lives become, the more guilty they will feel when they think of you."
Yoda sighed, "But I don't want everyone to feel guilty. I want everyone to be happy and live as if nothing happened."
Xie Yiyi: "It's because of kindness that you feel indebted. Can you just pretend this never happened? Aren't you still working hard to make up for the time you missed?" Xie Yiyi looked at the pile of books on Yoda's desk.
Because Xie Yiyi needs to separate her childcare and work time, she visits Yoda's place every time she goes out. Besides seeing how Yoda genuinely brings back the university atmosphere and motivates her, most importantly, she sees Yoda truly working diligently every day.
We are trying to make up for the knowledge she missed in her life.
Yoda shook his head: "That's different. This is my life, and I should take responsibility for it myself." Sometimes he felt that if he hadn't encountered the accident, he wouldn't have to go through so much trouble to start over, and he would have to be more careful when entering society than before.
But the next second, Yoda regained his spirits. He was lucky enough to wake up, and he had to work harder to live a good life.
Xie Yiyi shrugged: "Of course you can choose how to live your life. But choosing to worry about you, feeling guilty about your experiences, and carrying that feeling through your own life is also their choice."
"Okay, we've talked it out, let's not think about it anymore. Are you really not going to Shixing for your internship?" Yoda has already graduated, and according to the usual procedure, if you want to become a designer, you have to do an internship first, starting as an assistant.
Shi Xing has been out of school for so long and already has a well-established design firm. Xie Yiyi doesn't understand why Yoda doesn't go there but instead goes to another company.
"Didn't you say you wanted to rely on us and reap the benefits? Why not go directly to Shixing Agency? At least you'll have someone to teach you from the start, and you won't have to take any detours."
Yoda recalled how Shi Xing hadn't objected when she told him about her plans to intern at other companies. Although she felt she might be being a bit willful, she had initially decided to follow a normal life path.
Thinking of this, Yoda explained, "I've already secured an internship at a large design firm, which is very well-known in the industry. I'm sure I'll learn a lot from there."
Xie Yiyi nodded. "Okay, it's up to you. I'm leaving now. What will you do? Will Shi Xing come to pick you up?" She quickly packed her things as she spoke.
"Why are you in such a hurry? Didn't you say you wanted to separate childcare time so you could fully enjoy your own life?"
Xie Yiyi smiled as she thought of her baby at home: "I think I'm only now being controlled by hormones. Every morning when I wake up, I feel that the baby is even cuter than before. If I weren't forcing myself to come see you, I wouldn't want to go out at all; I just want to stay home and look after the baby."
"Last time, the baby was asleep and was so cute, with his chubby little face. I stared at him for two hours without blinking."
As she spoke, Xie Yiyi saw Shi Xing's car and smiled mischievously, "He's here, I'm leaving, so I won't say goodbye to Bingkuai."
After saying that, he left with a swift and steady gait, his steps light as the wind. Shi Xing, who arrived later, only saw a dashing figure from behind.
"Let's go, are you feeling tired today?" Taking everything from Yoda's hands, the two of them were already used to this, and their movements were natural and without any hesitation.
Yoda looked at Shi Xing, who was facing him and studying him intently as if inspecting a scene, and said helplessly, "I've been sitting here all afternoon, how could I be tired?"
Looking at Shi Xing's dark circles and tired face, she asked, "Have you been resting properly? Why do you only know how to ask me and not care about yourself?"
Shi Xing didn't pay much attention, but after carefully observing Yoda's complexion and seeing that he looked very energetic, he felt relieved.
Yoda looked at Shi Xing, who only cared about himself and avoided answering his questions, and tried to get used to his silence.
“I don’t go to school anymore, so you don’t need to come pick me up every day.” Ever since Yoda regained consciousness, Shi Xing has accompanied Yoda whenever he goes out, as long as he’s around. Yet he often remains silent, like a silent shadow following Yoda.
Over time, even Xie Yiyi couldn't stand it anymore, jokingly calling Shi Xing a shadowy ice block, silent yet capable of cooling.
"They've all gone out. Will you be alright home alone?" As Yoda parked the car and prepared to go home, Shi Xing remembered the family trip they'd mentioned earlier, which was in the next few days. After that, Yoda would be home alone.
Shi Xing gripped the steering wheel tightly, his tone relaxed, but he was on edge.
Yoda, who had already gotten off the bus, didn't notice Shi Xing's tension. She just found it funny that he was treating her like a child with such worry: "I've been an adult for a long time, I'll be fine. Go back quickly, drive slowly, get some rest, and don't run around with dark circles under your eyes."
Yoda waved his hand and walked back briskly.
Shi Xing stood still until he heard the soft sound of a door closing, at which point his tightly clenched fingers relaxed. His pale fingertips slowly regained their color. But the emptiness within Shi Xing grew ever larger.
Shi Xing knew that he seemed to have a problem inside him, but he didn't want to solve it; he just wanted to let it run rampant.
The car, which had been parked there, quickly drove away as its owner regained consciousness, leaving only a shallow tire track. As other vehicles passed, the tracks gradually blended together and disappeared without a trace.
"So low!?" Yoda was utterly shocked when he saw the internship salary stipulated in the contract.
The interns waiting to sign their contracts all looked at Yoda, while the employees waiting for their signatures urged them on. One by one, they bowed their heads and signed their names. Everyone was already used to this standard.
Yoda watched as everyone else silently signed their names, feeling as if he were the only one who stood out.
But Yoda was genuinely shocked. Back in his junior year of college, he had learned about entry-level salaries, and they weren't this low then, let alone after all these years. How could they have decreased instead of increased?
"Sign or not?" The person on the other end was used to such situations, his tone flat and emotionless, as if Yoda's shock was just a meaningless silent play.
Yoda gritted his teeth and said, "Sign."
I'm sorry, brothers, my salary is only enough to support myself. My toy cars have been downsized and my Rubik's Cubes have been downgraded.
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