Chapter 48 Frosty Whisper: "However... I can't give you my life right now..."
Ning Lu was caught off guard by his rhetorical question.
She had imagined this confrontation about identity countless times, both in her dreams and fantasies.
But Xie Qinghe actually sat opposite her and asked a question in return. She was speechless again, her mind going completely blank.
His gaze was gentle as he looked into her eyes, causing her to momentarily lose herself in the moment.
Ning Lu wasn't clever, but she knew that one should never confess without being asked.
Moreover, the person she was facing was Xie Qinghe; the more she said in front of him, the more mistakes she would make.
Ning Lu remained silent, intertwining her index fingers as she secretly glanced over.
The room was completely empty.
With a soft sigh, the cold weariness in Xie Qinghe's eyes gradually melted away.
He leaned over and dragged the pen and ink from the table in front of him.
He must have been extremely tired; even simple movements were a great strain on him.
Ning Lu tilted her head to observe and then noticed that the light fur coat on his shoulder was much thinner than the cloak in her arms.
The man lowered his eyes, held the ink stick, and slowly poured water to grind the ink.
With a slight tremor of the fingertips, the ink spread out in ripples.
"How about I do it?"
She was taught calligraphy by Xie Qinghe, and the two of them could be said to have reached a tacit understanding on the method of grinding ink.
Seeing her take half a step forward, he didn't refuse and pushed the inkstone to her side.
"Thank you for your trouble."
Xie Qinghe picked up his brush and began to write, and Ning Lu couldn't help but turn her head to look at him.
Even though he was physically exhausted, he did not slow down his grip on the pen in the slightest.
Blood seeped from the knife wound on her palm as she bent with the movement. Ning Lu frowned subconsciously and looked up at Xie Qinghe.
He lowered his eyes, his expression aloof, as if he were unaware.
In a moment, two faces appeared before her.
Xie Qinghe neatly put down his brush, set the wolf-hair brush aside, and casually picked up a handkerchief from the table to wipe the bloodstains from his palm.
Not understanding Xie Qinghe's meaning, Ning Lu could only ask him, "What is this?"
One face is broad and dignified, the other is gentle and reserved.
"Is there a test?"
Xie Qinghe slowly shook his head: "Guess which one is Prince Jing?"
Guess?
Such a good mood?
Ning Lu looked at him suspiciously, then at the painting.
They chose the one who looked more dignified.
"Where is the wise king?"
Ning Lu pointed to the gentle and reserved one.
Where is the Emperor?
There are only two people here, aren't there?
She looked at Xie Qinghe with a slightly confused expression, hesitated for a moment, and then pointed randomly to someone else.
As if the last bit of doubt had completely dissipated, Xie Qinghe felt a little relieved for no reason.
He picked up the portrait of the man with a short, round face who appeared kind and gentle.
"Jiang Yi, the eldest son of the late emperor, is now the Prince Jing. He has kept a low profile since childhood, but in reality, he is extremely ambitious."
"This is the current emperor, remember this well."
Before he could finish speaking, the man turned his head away, his shoulders trembling slightly, and he coughed very softly, as if afraid of disturbing others.
She glanced at him, then at the two portraits on the table.
"Why?"
She couldn't quite figure out Xie Qinghe's intentions.
"Being good at running away is also about knowing who to avoid."
The seemingly relaxed tone of voice buzzed in Ning Lu's ears, and she gasped in shock, suddenly standing up straight.
His gaze fell on the two portraits on the table, then fell on Xie Qinghe.
How do you know I don't know?
This is a blatant attempt to cover up the truth.
"An assassin who would kill for two thousand taels of silver wouldn't be counting six hundred coins of silver every night in bed."
It doesn't cause much harm, but it's extremely insulting.
Ning Lu blushed instantly, sat down on the round stool next to him, and stared straight at him.
"Xie Qinghe."
"Um?"
When did you find out?
"Know what?"
We've come full circle.
Ning Lu remained silent, yet inexplicably more certain than before that he wouldn't hurt her, and lowered her head in deep thought.
She is Liu Yunying.
This sentence was too difficult for Ning Lu to utter, which is why she couldn't say it out loud.
She always thought of herself as a vague person. She didn't have any particularly firm principles or stances; as long as things were getting by, being a little confused didn't matter.
But it wasn't until recently, when she was frequently recognized as Liu Yunying, that she realized she had such a strong sense of self-affirmation.
She cannot easily give up the persona she embodies under the symbol of Ning Lu, nor can she easily admit that she is Liu Yunying.
She was unwilling to admit that she had seriously injured Xie Qinghe, nor was she willing to bear the so-called label of a traitor, and she did not want to be killed for a fabricated crime.
The girl in front of him lowered her head awkwardly, her fingertips rubbing against his sleeve, wrinkling the brocade.
Xie Qinghe felt a dull ache in his heart and raised his hand to rub the top of her head.
His finger hovered in mid-air, lingering for a moment, before quietly retracting.
He didn't know either.
To be honest, he still can't figure out what kind of relationship it is.
He also wanted to know why the same face and the same body could be so different.
He clearly didn't believe in those fallacies and heresies about soul separation and soul swapping.
For him, confirming that Ning Lu was Ning Lu came much earlier than realizing that Ning Lu and Liu Yunying were the same person.
He hadn't looked at himself directly in a long time.
But his most honest and unwavering thoughts had already exhausted his limited mental energy.
Xie Qinghe lowered her eyes, trying her best to remain gentle: "It's okay, you can be whoever you want."
"Two thousand taels... Prince Jing's mansion can't afford it, but the Grand Chancellor's mansion can." He spoke slowly and deliberately, his voice distant and ethereal: "However... I can't give you my life right now."
That tone...
Ning Lu suddenly looked up, her doe-like eyes suddenly filled with tears, filled with disbelief.
"What's wrong? Don't you believe me?"
It seemed like a joke, but it also carried a hint of helplessness.
He shook his head vigorously.
Water splashed onto the back of his hand, feeling somewhat hot.
Xie Qinghe frowned slightly.
Ning Lu hurriedly picked up the handkerchief he had placed beside him, wiped the water droplets off the back of his hand, and then wiped her own snot and tears haphazardly with her sleeve.
She sniffed and continued to clutch his sleeve.
Such cold hands.
Such a cold tone of voice.
The tone he used when he said this was the same as when he spoke to Cen Wei last night.
He said, "To have reached my position and still dream of retiring unscathed is utterly ridiculous."
He said, "I can't give you my life right now."
Even though he was talking about his own life and future, he acted like a cold, detached bystander.
"I don't want your life." She felt inexplicably scared and argued like a wronged child: "I didn't lie to you, I never thought of killing you."
"Um."
The handkerchief on the table was dirty. He couldn't find a new one right away.
Xie Qinghe lowered his sleeve and gently wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
He tucked the strands of hair behind his ear and chuckled at her disheveled, tear-streaked face.
"You're laughing about something so serious." Ning Lu simply let go of her hands, covered her face with her hands, and turned away to wipe her tears: "I'm most afraid of dead people."
He knew that too.
"You're suddenly being so emotional, it's so unlike you. What are you plotting against me now?"
"Didn't you say you prefer things to be straightforward?"
"I said I like it, so it's fine, right? If you were that obedient..."
Ning Lu turned her head to refute, but then felt she had no way to argue back.
She got everything she wanted, and everything Xie Qinghe could give her.
"Wipe away your tears and go back to the east wing. Qinghuai and the others have prepared breakfast for you."
Xie Qinghe rarely gave the order to leave, which made Ning Lu turn her head curiously.
"And what about you?"
"Worried about me?"
"Xie Qinghe...you can be really narcissistic sometimes."
Her sobs quickly turned into gritted teeth at his witty remarks. Xie Qinghe smiled triumphantly and reached out to pinch the tip of her nose.
"You were snoring in my ear last night, which kept me from sleeping well. Now I'm going to get some sleep."
He spoke of it casually.
Ning Lu immediately sensed something was wrong.
He couldn't even stand up steadily!
She instinctively stepped forward and supported his waist.
Not only were my hands cold, but my whole body was cold too.
Ning Lu suddenly came to her senses and helped him to bed.
"What's wrong with you? Why didn't you say it was cold?"
"It's strange. He always pretends to be sick and weak when he has minor ailments, but when something is really wrong, he stubbornly holds on."
He took off the light fur coat from his shoulders and helped him lie back on the bed.
Only then did she see clearly that the man had dark circles under his eyes and a pale, purplish complexion, which was quite shocking.
No matter how much she nags, he doesn't argue back, his eyes lowered and his breathing labored.
Ning Lu immediately realized something was wrong and dared not speak again. She bent down to take off his official boots and raised the quilt behind him so that he could breathe more easily while half-lying down.
"Don't worry... you'll be fine after a nap..."
"I know."
He grabbed a fox fur coat from the table behind him and covered Xie Qinghe with it, speaking in a perfunctory tone.
"Let's go back."
"I know."
“Ning Lu…”
"Um?"
"Don't run around."
"I know!"
Hearing her grind her teeth, Xie Qinghe curled the corners of his mouth and turned his head slightly toward her.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly, as if she wanted to open her eyes, but ultimately she was too weak and fell back down.
Sunlight streamed in through the window, illuminating the room.
Ning Luping, who usually loves to bask in the sun, suddenly felt that the sunlight was being inconsiderate and disturbing the patient's rest. So she lowered the bed curtains on both sides and moved to sit by the table herself.
On the table were portraits of Prince Jing and the Emperor.
She already knew that Prince Jing was a villain.
emperor……
Ning Lu recalled Cen Wei's words that night, picked up the majestic portrait, and examined it carefully.
It seems that even someone as powerful and influential as Xie Qinghe has endless problems to solve and feels helpless when faced with a situation where he is powerless to do what he wants.
When the sun was high in the sky, Ning Lu returned from the east wing after having dinner, while Xie Qinghe was still asleep.
With nothing else to do and feeling uneasy about the person inside, she decided to stand by the door and chat casually with Wei Chunwei.
Out of the corner of his eye, he met Wei Zhan's scrutinizing gaze and cold snort.
"You seem very hostile towards me," Ning Lu said helplessly. "What grudge do we have?"
As she spoke, she turned to look at Wei Chun, hoping to get a fair answer, but the man pretended to be innocent and ignorant.
"Don't worry, I won't compete with you for leadership."
She gave a forced smile and cupped her hands in greeting, looking at the bright sunlight in the courtyard while her gaze kept drifting towards the house.
“My family hates noise the most, so I advise you not to wake him up.”
“I won’t wake him up. But you guys shouldn’t be so careless. That guy is so quiet, you can’t be so oblivious that you don’t even know he’s having an attack.”
"That's all thanks to you."
"How come it's all because of me again?"
Wei Zhan straightened up: "My lord has a history of heart disease. Not only did you inflict that wound on his chest, but you also deliberately delayed his return to the capital."
"This has nothing to do with me. What does it have to do with me if he doesn't go back?"
Ning Lu stood on the threshold, tiptoeing and with her hands on her hips, not wanting to be outdone.
Wei Chun, who was behind him, laughed silently and bent over, waving his hand as he came in to smooth things over.
Amidst laughter and conversation, the man dressed as a member of the Imperial Guard strode towards them.
Wei Zhan ignored Ning Lu's provocation, bowed, and went to greet her.
"Slay the guards, Lord Wei." The imperial guards greeted him in turn, then looked at Ning Lu and nodded politely: "Is it convenient for you now, Your Excellency?"
"What happened?" Wei Chun didn't answer directly.
"Yes, there is something. A shop caught fire and someone died." The imperial guard paused briefly, then continued, "The shop itself was nothing special. However, the person who died was a bit unusual; he was a well-known jade craftsman in the area."
"Jade craftsman?"
Ning Lu, who had been pacing around the door looking for amusement, straightened up and leaned closer: "Is it the one in the alley south of the dungeon?"
"That's the one."
"You know him?"
Wei Chun also sensed something was amiss upon seeing this.
Ning Lu quickly recalled the subordinate of Zhao Yue that she had brushed past that day, and her expression changed as she looked into the room.
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