Chapter 20: Her mother protected her in her previous life, and she protects her mother in this life
Late at night, everything is quiet.
The door of Xie Yao's room was gently pushed open.
When Xu Susu walked into the bedroom, she saw Xie Yao curled up on the bed with her eyes closed.
Next to the pillow was a bowl of leftover medicine.
As long as she has experienced illness, she has become a doctor. She can tell that this medicine is real.
Her breathing was slightly heavier and she stretched out her hand tremblingly.
Before he touched Xie Yao's forehead, the person lying on the bed opened his eyes and smiled as if his conspiracy had succeeded.
"Mother, didn't you believe I was sick? Why did you come to visit me?"
Xu Susu was stunned. She didn't expect Xie Yao to be awake.
So, the food in the kitchen is fine.
She was surprised and happy, then realized that her daughter had tricked her and immediately put on a stern face.
In the blink of an eye, Xu Susu turned into the cold and frosty Mrs. Xu again.
"Visiting you?" she said coldly, "I'm just afraid that something might happen to you in Wanxiangyuan and that it would implicate me."
"Since you're alright, start learning the rules tomorrow, starting with 'Women's Training', and correct all the bad habits you have."
"Mother!"
Xie Yao didn't listen to her at all, lifted the quilt and grabbed her hand.
In the flickering candlelight, Xie Yao discovered that her mother, without makeup, looked even more haggard and pale than during the day, with sunken cheeks, just like herself in her previous life when she was exhausted.
She suppressed her sobs and asked seriously, "Tell me, is it Aunt Sun who is bullying or threatening you? What are you afraid of? What are your reasons? Why are you pretending not to care about me?"
Xu Susu shook her head indifferently, her voice icy: "You think too much. I know my body very well. It has been like this for so many years. I can't die, and I can't blame others. As for you, you left me when you were young-"
She paused and said, "There's no mother-daughter relationship anymore. Why force a close relationship?"
Xie Yao certainly didn't believe it: "Really? If you didn't care about me, why would you come here tonight? Didn't you mistakenly think that I ate the food sent by the kitchen and was poisoned?"
Her eyes were slightly stern: "If it has nothing to do with Aunt Sun, then it has something to do with Xie Mingan."
Xu Susu scolded her harshly, "Xie Yao, you've gone too far. Uncle is your father. How can you call him by his name? How could he possibly hurt you?"
"But he hurt you, didn't he?"
Xie Yao asked softly.
She held her mother's hand tightly.
Those hands were as cold as ice, dry and thin.
Xie Yao remembered that her mother was only 34 years old, two years younger than Aunt Sun.
When I was young, although my mother was ill all year round and had a weak temperament, she never looked as haggard as this.
In her previous life, Xie Yao was trapped in the manor, and Xie Yan had to try every possible means to see her.
Xie Yan said that after her mother learned that Lu Shenyan had sent her to a farm in the countryside to recuperate, she cried every day, her health deteriorated, her temper became strange, and she even ignored her own son.
Until one day, his mother called him forward, left the only remaining farm and shop she had brought as a dowry to Xie Yao, and begged him to meet Xie Yao.
That night, Xu Susu committed suicide!
When Xie Yan told her the news of her mother's death, it had been a year since her mother passed away.
Xie Yao now speculated that her mother's health was already poor, and Lu Shenyan cursed her in letters every month. Xie Ming'an also promoted his concubine to a co-wife, which made her illness worse.
Later, the mother may have discovered that there was something wrong with the letter and realized that her daughter was imprisoned, so she wanted to use her own death to tell her daughter the true face of the man beside her.
Only after learning of her mother's death did Xie Yao begin to plan a divorce from Lu Shenyan.
Xu Susu wanted to shake her head.
However, when she heard Xie Yao say, "He hurt you," a tear welled up in her eyes, but she quickly wiped it away as if it had never fallen.
She tensed her body, afraid of revealing any flaws, and her weathered face was dead silent.
"Sun Xinlan is right. 'Obey your father at home and your husband after marriage.' The Wenchang Marquis's Mansion is your natal family. Even if the Marquis has many faults, he is still your father and your support after marriage. You are so arrogant and disobedient. Do you really want to break with your father?"
Xu Susu's voice was hoarse and her eyes were empty.
After hearing this, Xie Yao finally understood why her mother always pushed her towards Xie Mingan and Old Madam Xie.
Xu Susu foolishly thought that Xie Mingan was her father and that the Xie family would be her support after she got married.
She used to think so too.
Even until her death, she still fantasized about returning to the Xie family.
Xie Yao shook her head, her eyes sharp as a knife: "I rely on myself and you."
Xu Susu's eyes were filled with panic and confusion.
She had been taught the Three Obediences and Four Virtues since she was a child, and had spent too many years in this mansion, so she did not understand what Xie Yao meant.
I am just a woman, weak and powerless, how can I be a support for my daughter?
If Ayao and the Xie family fall out, and she is gone, where in this vast world can shelter her daughter?
For this reason, she would rather be a bad person. At least her daughter still has her father, and at least her daughter will not be too sad when she dies.
She whispered, "Now that things have come to this, I can tell you, yes, I do hate you."
"You have no idea how much suffering I went through when I gave birth to you. If it weren't for you and Xie Yan, my health wouldn't be this bad. So, although you and I are mother and daughter, we are like enemies. You don't need to test me anymore, and I don't want to care whether you live or die."
Xie Yao smiled gently: "I know that my mother had me before she got engaged to Xie Mingan."
"If you don't love me, then why did you give birth to me? If you hate me for making you sick, then why didn't you strangle me to death right then and there?"
Xu Susu's pupils trembled and she opened her mouth, unable to refute.
Xie Yao continued, "Why did you ask Sang Ruo to bring me food and charcoal? Why did you help me arrange for the eunuchs who announced the decree and the guards of the King of Jingbei?"
"And this dress, it fits me perfectly."
Whether a person is good or bad to herself does not depend on what she says, but on what she does.
It’s just that she was too stupid in her previous life and didn’t understand this.
When Xie Yao stood up, Xu Susu realized that she was wearing clothes that she had sewn herself.
She couldn't help but look at Xie Yao, her A Yao, who was so beautiful and healthy that she couldn't take her eyes off her.
"It fits perfectly. Prince Jingbei happened to send me a lot of fabric. I'll have to trouble mother to make a few more for me."
Xie Yao didn't care what Xu Susu was thinking. She threw the cloth beside her into her arms, then took off her coat in front of her mother, revealing the wound on her shoulder.
When Xu Susu saw the hideous arrow wound that had not yet healed and some old scars on her body, her breathing suddenly choked.
She raised her hand, but didn't dare touch the scars. Her throat rolled and she squeezed out two very light words.
"Does it hurt?"
“It used to hurt a lot, but now it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Xie Yao was originally calm, but when she heard her mother ask her "Does it hurt?", she suddenly felt a little aggrieved.
"Mother, do you know that I have gnawed on grass roots and tree bark while at the border, defended cities, and won battles. Even when I was injured, I wasn't afraid because I knew I had you caring for me."
Xie Yao looked at Xu Susu with a burning gaze, took out the gold hairpin that she had asked for from Old Madam Xie from under her pillow, and put it in her hand.
"Now that I'm back, no matter how many conspiracies and schemes there are in the future, or how many difficulties and obstacles there are, I can protect you and be your support. I won't let anyone hurt you. So, mother, can you hold on for me for a few more days? I can't live without you."
There was sadness in Xu Susu's eyes. Suddenly, she seemed to be back to that thunderous night seventeen years ago when she heard the first cry of her newborn baby.
At that moment, she was not afraid of anything, just like now.
"Ayao, what exactly are you going to do?" Xu Susu asked.
Xie Yao used her warm hands to warm her mother's cold palms, with flames of hatred dancing in her eyes, and spoke word by word:
"I will take back all the pain you've endured, with interest."
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