Compared to Yan Lingyun's guilt, this could still be compensated. (No, he couldn't compensate for it.)
Meng Junxian's life these past few years has been... hard to describe.
You can't really say he's bad, after all, he's royalty and has no worries about food or clothing. Ordinary people wouldn't dare to offend him.
But if you want to be fair... just the fact that the woman on the throne is his ex-wife is enough to make him feel uneasy.
He dared not think about anything, but even if he didn't want to go out and see people, he couldn't stay away from people forever, could he?
Even if the other person didn't say anything when they met him, the look in their eyes was enough to make him suffer.
On the one hand, the Meng family was indeed unlucky.
On the other hand, Yan Nangui is such a troublemaker!
Back then, the Meng family was terrified simply because she wanted to enter the Crown Prince's residence. Little did they know, she would step by step ascend to the throne.
This is something that Meng Junxian couldn't have imagined; even if the entire Meng family were covered with eighteen layers of quilts, they would never have dreamed of it.
Therefore, the more he felt this way, the more he felt like the whole world was laughing at him.
The key point is that it's the same at home.
Needless to say, Yan Jinsi and her husband disliked each other their entire lives.
If we don't meet, all is well; but if we do meet, we're bound to argue.
He's getting old, and his sons are all married, but things are still the same.
The two sons are quite promising, both having received some education. However, they don't have particularly bright futures.
Sometimes people are like that; even the person at the top doesn't know who you are and can't be bothered with you.
But who told your family to offend someone?
There were always layers of subordinates blocking their way. So these two brothers' careers were incredibly difficult.
Meng Junxian couldn't stand it anymore and insisted on taking a maid as a concubine.
He also broke off relations with Yan Jinsi, saying, "Go ahead and make trouble. I've been embarrassed my whole life, so I'm not afraid of being embarrassed this time."
If you won't allow it, I'll become a monk. Let's see who loses face, you or me.
Yan Jinsi finally gritted her teeth and agreed.
Anyway, life at home is incredibly stifling.
Speaking of becoming a monk, Meng Junxian went to a temple a few days later.
I don't know why, but I ended up here.
After I finished worshipping Buddha, I met someone at the foot of the mountain.
At first glance, I couldn't recognize it.
The other person spoke first, calling him "cousin".
He then recognized her as Li, whom he hadn't seen for thirty years.
When Li was sent out, she lived at the foot of this mountain.
Li took him to her small courtyard.
As soon as they entered, a maid called out that her mother had returned.
Madam Li nodded and said that an old friend had come, and told the maid to make some tea.
The small courtyard at the foot of the mountain where the temple is located is not large; it is just one small courtyard with no multiple sections.
It's a traditional courtyard house, and you can tell it's been carefully maintained.
There are many flowers planted in the yard, and it's the perfect time for jasmine to bloom.
A small table is set up under the eaves of the main house, just right for drinking tea.
A blanket was drying on the corridor pole.
The little girl came over and put it away.
Another woman in her thirties arrived and brought tea.
"When...when did you get married?" Meng Junxian asked.
“No, the little girl is a child I found when I went to the market a few years ago. She's a little girl, but nobody wanted her. She's sixteen now.” Li smiled. “I don’t have the heart to get married anymore. Back then… anyway, they gave me some money. So I bought this little courtyard. I’ve lived here for years. Listening to the temple bells every day, my heart is at peace. Yunniang and I make some small things to sell at the market at the foot of the mountain. We can earn enough to eat. We also have a vegetable garden down the mountain, which is enough for us. We also rented a small shop in the city. It’s enough for the three of us.”
Meng Junxian nodded, looking at her, and felt that Li Shi was not the same Li Shi as before.
"You've changed. You've changed so much."
“Yes, everyone changes. No one stays still for a long time. My cousin has changed a lot too. I’ve heard about the things happening in the capital, even though I’m a bit slow to catch up. I never imagined that Her Majesty…” Madam Li shook her head: “It’s truly unbelievable.”
“Yes, it’s unbelievable. I still can’t understand it. I’ve seen it occasionally and I can’t even recognize it. Tell me, weren’t we being incredibly reckless in the past?” Meng Junxian asked.
Li smiled and said, "I didn't die after all. I was left with a lot of illnesses back then, but I'm still alive."
“I’m sorry to you. I’m sorry to you, and I’m also sorry to…” Meng Junxian shook his head: “Back then, I was young and arrogant, and I always thought I was invincible. Looking back now, I was really stupid. You are smarter than me.”
"I...have also wronged you in some ways. But we're even now. Half a lifetime has passed, so there's no need to dwell on these things. Seeing that you're doing well, I have nothing more to say." Madam Li smiled.
Meng Junxian felt extremely upset.
He didn't know what to say about Yan Nangui; he was filled with regret, but that was all. After all, he had never been in love with her.
But he felt extremely guilty towards Li.
That wasn't out of guilt for the Meng family's disintegration, but from the bottom of my heart.
In an instant, he recalled his youth, the days when he and Mrs. Li were inseparable. Those were truly sweet times.
But in the end, it was he who harmed the Li family.
If we cannot make her our principal wife, but instead make her our concubine, then we are harming her from the start.
Neither of them mentioned the past anymore, they just talked about everyday things, and then said goodbye.
Needless to say, Li knew that Meng Junxian would not come again.
As she left, she whispered, "Cousin, I hope you'll be well from now on."
Meng Junxian took a deep breath: "You're fine too. It's good to stay here. Just stay here."
After Meng Junxian left, the little maid came over and pulled at Li Shi: "Mother, what's wrong? Who is this? Is he your former..."
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