Chapter 30
30.
Li Guang had never addressed her so politely before, and Guan Yue was quite flattered.
She heard herself let out a drawn-out "Sigh..."
It seems that making that kind of sound is innate. She used to hear people talk to children like that and always thought it was just being pretentious. Now she realizes it might just be an instinct.
As soon as Guan Yue finished speaking, she got goosebumps all over her body. Li Guang seemed to be disgusted by her as well, staring at her with a strange look, as if she were possessed by a ghost.
Cheng Lingjun didn't seem to notice anything. He took Li Guang's hand and was about to go home when Guan Yue quickly called out to him, "Um, don't forget."
Forget what?
Cheng Lingjun paused for a moment, then saw Guan Yue winking at him, and he remembered that there was indeed something he was supposed to do.
Guan Yue told him to see a doctor, but now that Li Guang was awake, it wasn't appropriate to go in front of him. Li Guang also didn't know what his father had drunk, so he couldn't take him along. It was impossible to see a doctor at the original time.
Cheng Lingjun understood Guan Yue's meaning, nodded, and said, "I won't forget."
After saying that, he took Li Guang out of Guan Yue's house and went back to his own home.
When they got home, Cheng Lingjun saw that Li Guang was still sullen, so she squatted down and asked, "Are you unhappy because you can't find your father?"
Li Guang is very dependent on him. Cheng Lingjun has been neglecting Li Guang at the Li family, so he basically meets Li Guang's needs and tries not to leave Li Guang unless Li Guang can't go. Otherwise, even if it is troublesome, Cheng Lingjun will take Li Guang with him.
Cheng Lingjun thought that Li Guang was unhappy because he hadn't seen him. Li Guang nodded and then shook his head.
Cheng Lingjun was somewhat surprised and laughed, "So you've been waiting a long time and are hungry?"
Li Guang looked up and asked, "Father, do you often go to see that Aunt Guan... Aunt Guan now?"
Cheng Lingjun could tell that Li Guang didn't seem to want to address Guan Yue that way, so was it because of Guan Yue that Li Guang felt ignored?
Cheng Lingjun quickly said, "Dad went to see her for something, and came back as soon as he finished. I saw you were asleep, so I didn't tell you. It's Dad's fault."
Li Guang shook his head, "Father is not bad..."
Li Guang's hands were tangled together, clearly in a state of confusion. Cheng Lingjun grasped his hands and said, "Dad, don't go looking for her next time, okay?"
Li Guang was somewhat flustered, "No, it's not..."
Li Guang's current state is somewhat similar to when he was at the Li family home. Cheng Lingjun's heart ached as he looked at him. Had he neglected Li Guang too much? He shouldn't have left a child alone at home. He thought he would only be gone for a short while, and Li Guang might have already woken up. He couldn't find him anywhere, but instead found him chatting and laughing with someone else. He must have felt terrible.
Cheng Lingjun half-hugs his son and encourages him, "Xiaoguang, you can say whatever you want. If Dad does anything wrong, tell me too. If you tell me, Dad will know and Dad will change."
Cheng Lingjun's body temperature affected Li Guang, and Li Guang's slight trembling gradually subsided. He leaned on his father's shoulder and said, "Can I say anything?"
“Of course,” Cheng Lingjun stroked Li Guang’s hair, “Didn’t your father tell you long ago? There’s no need to hide anything from your father.”
When Li Guang was most depressed after leaving the Li family, Cheng Lingjun talked to him over and over again, accompanying him to sleep night after night. At his worst, Li Guang didn't say a word. Fortunately, after leaving that place, with only Cheng Lingjun by his side, he slowly became more cheerful. But at this time, Cheng Lingjun didn't expect that he seemed to have some of the shadow from that time again.
From his words, Li Guang seemed to have recovered somewhat. He said softly, "I... I'm just a little scared. I'm scared that Father won't want me anymore. Father... Father has someone else he cares about, and he won't pay attention to me anymore. He doesn't want Xiao Guang anymore..."
Cheng Lingjun exclaimed in surprise, "How is that possible? Xiao Guang is Father's favorite person. How could Father not want Xiao Guang?"
Li Guang blushed slightly, but her eyes shone brightly. "Dad, do you like me the most?"
Cheng Lingjun knew what the child was thinking; he simply wanted to hear more from him. So he said, "Of course, Daddy likes Xiaoguang the most, the most, the most, the most!"
Li Guang was quite captivated by the story. He buried his face in his father's arms and wriggled around like a spoiled child.
"Then, it's okay for Dad to visit Aunt Guan occasionally."
Cheng Lingjun never expected to hear those words from Li Guang.
Wasn't Li Guang very averse to Guan Yue? Cheng Lingjun thought he didn't want him to have contact with Guan Yue, so he was unhappy to see him go to Guan Yue's house. How could he say something like this now?
Cheng Lingjun asked, "Don't you dislike her?"
Li Guang pouted: "I hate her."
"That?"
“I don’t really hate it, but I don’t like it either,” Li Guang said stubbornly.
Cheng Lingjun was very curious and deliberately said, "If you don't like someone, you hate them. Since Xiaoguang hates her, then we should ignore her and never go looking for her again."
“Well… she’s not that bad!” Li Guang seemed a little anxious. “That Aunt Guan used to be really bad, but now… she’s very nice to us now—not really nice! But anyway, she’s not a bad person anymore, so…”
Li Guang spoke haltingly and reluctantly, but Cheng Lingjun was secretly overjoyed. Li Guang clearly didn't want to say anything good about Guan Yue, but he was forced to. His little face scrunched up awkwardly, looking like a wronged little bun.
Cheng Lingjun stopped teasing him and said with a smile, "Since Xiao Guang has said so, Dad will listen to Xiao Guang."
Li Guang breathed a slight sigh of relief, but still insisted, "Only occasionally, okay?"
“Of course, Xiao Guang is the most important,” Cheng Lingjun patted his head. “Guan Yue is not a bad person. The relationship between Dad and her is just that of neighbors who help each other. Xiao Guang, don’t feel too burdened. She won’t do anything to you.”
"I... I'm not saying she's a bad person, it's just that I don't want Dad to keep looking for her. Dad used to only spend time with me..."
As Cheng Lingjun listened to Li Guang's rambling, she felt a mix of tenderness and sadness. Li Guang could have expressed his dissatisfaction and needs directly like other children, but he always suppressed himself. He was indeed a good child, sensible and discerning. He knew that Guan Yue had helped their family, and even though he felt that his father had been taken away, he didn't speak ill of Guan Yue. He only asked to spend more time with his father, which showed that he hadn't corrupted Li Guang.
But does he always look for her?
Cheng Lingjun was somewhat dazed, but it seemed that it was indeed true. He had only been in Dahuai Village for two or three months. Except for the first month when he had almost no contact with outsiders, the rest of his life was basically related to Guan Yue. From the initial intense disgust to the current openness, had only been a short time?
Cheng Lingjun has no close friends. Apart from her family, her best friends are probably Qu Niang and her husband. But they are not equals, and even though they are good friends, they have never truly opened their hearts to each other. They always have to hold back some of the most important things. They are the same in this regard. There is nothing wrong with either of them, but they are just not that close.
Aside from Qu Niang and her husband, Cheng Lingjun's social circle was limited to the Cheng and Li families. Before getting married, he helped his father with household chores and learned embroidery and needlework. After getting married, he listened to his wife's family and became an obedient and virtuous husband. After giving birth to Li Guang, he had even less of his own life. It was as if he had entered a new world when he completely left these two places. But for him, the house he was renting now was also another circle.
The person who helped him out of this circle was Guan Yue.
Cheng Lingjun originally thought that he would never have any contact with Guan Yue, and that he would move away from Dahuai Village because of Guan Yue. However, he did not expect that he would not leave Dahuai Village, but would become close to Guan Yue, and even take the initiative to help Guan Yue and speak well of her.
This change was something I never dreamed of. Cheng Lingjun couldn't even remember the last time she had spoken ill of Guan Yue. It felt like a long time had passed, but in reality, it hadn't been that long.
Cheng Lingjun pondered why this was happening, and after much thought, she could only come up with one explanation: she felt very comfortable with Guan Yue. Guan Yue was different from others; she didn't care who he was, or whether he was a divorced husband. She wouldn't look at him strangely; in fact, she thought he was remarkable and would praise him endlessly. Even though Cheng Lingjun felt that he hadn't done anything wrong, he always felt relaxed when he was with her, and he had no inhibitions in front of her.
When he was with Li Guang, he was a reliable father; when he was with his family, he was a capable son; when he was with Qu Niang and her husband, he was their benefactor; but when he was with Guan Yue, he was Cheng Lingjun.
In her eyes, he had no identity; he was simply himself. Unconsciously, he rarely thought of the melancholy and heartbreak he experienced in Guping Town. Instead, he embraced the peaceful days in Dahuai Village, days that gradually became inseparable from Guan Yue.
His return to Guping Town this time was also because of Guan Yue. Does this mean that he is slowly emerging from the shadows of the past and daring to face the fears he once avoided?
Thinking about it this way, Cheng Lingjun felt that Guan Yue's words made sense. His parents might have changed too, so he didn't need to worry or be afraid too much. Everyone changes. If he changed, his parents would change too. He shouldn't reject his family. Besides, his father had given him money, hoping that he could live a good life. He must have felt sorry for him.
Cheng Lingjun took out the money pouch, determined not to use it. He knew Wen Lin didn't have much savings; his mother managed the family's finances, and what his father had was probably all of his money. He would return it to Wen Lin when the time was right. As for himself, he didn't feel that his life was any bad. It had been inconvenient before, but now with Guan Yue's help, he felt he didn't need his father's money.
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