Chapter 36
36.
Cheng Lingjun knew that staying at home all the time would easily lead to overthinking, but there was no one around to comfort him. Li Guang was too young to understand the sorrow in his heart, and besides, he couldn't tell him these things. After searching carefully, he found that there was no one he could confide in.
There was someone there, but unfortunately, he had already turned that person away.
Cheng Lingjun started going to Guping Town more often. Originally, she would only go once or twice a month, but now she goes every few days. It's hard to say whether it's to avoid the town, to see Wen Lin and Qu Niang to distract herself, or to make herself appear busy. In any case, Cheng Lingjun is going to Guping Town much more often.
Li Guang was no longer left with Guan Yue's family to be looked after, but went to Liu Niangzi's house. Now that winter had arrived, Liu Niangzi had not actually continued teaching students, but after all, she had been teaching Li Guang for so long. She had no children of her own and took good care of Li Guang. It would be good for him to go to her house to read and write.
When Cheng Lingjun went to Guping Town, he saw Wen Lin more often. Qu Niang and her husband's shop was always busy with people coming and going, and he didn't want to be seen. In addition, they were also busy with their business and didn't have time to talk to him much. He would occasionally visit Qu Niang and her husband, and then go and sit with Wen Lin in a pavilion on the outskirts of the town. It was a quiet place where no one would disturb them and they could rest.
Wen Lin assumed that he had changed his mind and was eager to see his family, so he talked to him more about everyday matters. At first, Cheng Lingjun would listen attentively, but as he listened, his irritation only increased.
His father kept saying that the family was struggling, but his parents were healthy and he had two older sisters at home. However, they were not ambitious and only thought about their own achievements. They were arrogant and looked down on others, but they made no progress and were no different from when he left home.
Wen Lin even mentioned the Li family a few times, his expression and tone suggesting that he hoped Wen Lin could return.
He said the Li family's business was doing well, but it was a family matter... He had barely started when Cheng Lingjun retorted, neither too softly nor too harshly. His father was a little unhappy and said that since he was staying at home, he still needed to find a woman to rely on, otherwise the family might not be able to support him and Li Guang.
Cheng Lingjun found it laughable. Putting aside the fact that he hadn't gone home yet, even if he had, why would he need his family to take care of him and Li Guang? He would probably be the one taking care of his family.
Seeing that he was displeased, Wen Lin stopped talking about that matter and ended the conversation hastily, letting Cheng Lingjun go back.
The next time they met, Wen Lin would avoid saying anything that would upset Cheng Lingjun, and would even bring her some snacks that he and Li Guang liked, which would make Cheng Lingjun lose her temper.
This went on and on. Although Cheng Lingjun didn't go home, she was fully aware of the situation at home. The more she knew, the more she felt a deep sense of helplessness.
The Cheng family is not well-off, and there are many people living there. His eldest sister's husband recently had another daughter. Fortunately, his second sister is not yet married, but there are still six or seven people in the family. If he were to go back, the house would be too small for anyone to stand in.
Even so, the two older sisters never suggested separating the family property. Before Cheng Lingjun got married, he knew that his two older sisters were barely able to support themselves, and the main source of income for the family still depended on their parents. Now that they had several more children, he would definitely help support the family when he returned.
In fact, Cheng Lingjun didn't care if the family worked hard and the living conditions weren't great. But he knew that his parents valued his two older sisters more. Despite their emphasis, his two older sisters hadn't become successful as they had hoped. They were already married and still relied on their parents, who were like two aging trees. If he went back, wouldn't he also be squeezed dry by them?
But his parents were getting older and he had no other home. What else could he do but go back to the Cheng family? Was he supposed to live away from home forever? Going home to fulfill his filial duties and then raising Li Guang to adulthood seemed to be the path he should take.
Before, she couldn't go home, but now that she can, she doesn't want to. Cheng Lingjun doesn't know what the right thing to do is.
In this state of confusion and hesitation, Wen Lin suggested that Cheng Lingjun take Li Guang home to visit during the Lunar New Year's Eve, as their families were waiting for them to return. Hearing this, Cheng Lingjun could not refuse and agreed.
In the past, he would go back to the Cheng family for the Little New Year and spend the Lunar New Year at the Li family's. He was always very busy during these days. The Li family had few people and many things to do, while the Cheng family had many people and many things to do. He was busy cleaning and offering sacrifices to the Kitchen God, and preparing goods. He was busy and tired. After Li Guang came along, it became even more difficult. Therefore, this year he proposed to just go home for a meal and reunite with his family for one night. He did not want to get involved in anything else.
Wen Lin had some reservations after hearing this, saying that he could come back sooner and spend more time with his family. Li Guang hadn't been back to the Cheng family for a long time, and he was afraid that he had forgotten his grandparents and aunts.
Cheng Lingjun shook her head, saying that she didn't want to attract attention and that she could just have a family reunion dinner at home. Once she was really home, they would have many more days to meet.
Wen Lin stopped trying to persuade him after hearing this, and smiled as she said that he would have to go home sooner or later. He felt a sense of belonging when he was with his family, and no one would care about him when he was away from home.
Knowing when others are cold or hot...? But he felt that he was the one who cared about others' well-being, and how many other people really cared about him?
Cheng Lingjun remained silent, said goodbye to her father, and returned to Dahuai Village.
After returning to the village, he picked up Li Guang and met Rui Xi in front of the door. She was coming out of Guan Yue's house. The two waved goodbye and were both a little surprised to see him.
Rui Xi was carrying a chicken and several bunches of radishes and garlic, which seemed to be a gift from Guan Yue. She nodded to him and said, "Just got back from Guping Town?"
Cheng Lingjun asked, "Village Chief Rui, how did you know?"
Rui smiled and said, "Guan Yue said so; she seems to know quite a bit about your movements."
Cheng Lingjun keenly sensed that Rui Xi's words had a hidden meaning. Could it be that Guan Yue had told her about the recent estrangement between him and her?
Subconsciously, Cheng Lingjun glanced at Guan Yue, only to meet Guan Yue's gaze, which was fixed on him.
Rui Xi glanced at him, then looked back at Guan Yue, who shook her head at her. Rui Xi seemed to sigh, then turned to Cheng Lingjun and said, "I have something to do at home, so I'll be leaving now."
Cheng Lingjun said, "Village Chief, please take care."
"Okay," Rui Xi responded and slowly walked out.
Cheng Lingjun, Guan Yue, and Li Guang were left behind, watching them curiously.
Cheng Lingjun felt a little awkward for some reason. Actually, they didn't talk much anymore, but now that they had met, it wouldn't be appropriate to just say hello and leave. Besides, Guan Yue was still bringing him water and vegetables, and he didn't want to give her the cold shoulder, so he made conversation by asking, "Did the village chief come looking for you just now?"
Guan Yue remained calm and asked, "Yes, she brought me some warm clothes and blankets, and we chatted for a while."
Clothes and blankets to keep warm?
Cheng Lingjun looked at Guan Yue's clothes, which were old and not very thick winter clothes, but judging from the stitches, he had sewn them on... Village Chief Rui was really thoughtful.
Cheng Lingjun said, "Village Chief Rui has always been a kind-hearted person, and she has been very good to you."
"yes."
After Guan Yue finished speaking, the two fell into a speechless silence.
Should we go now?
Cheng Lingjun thought to himself, he was still hesitating, but Guan Yue spoke first, saying, "If there's nothing else, I'll go back first, you should get some rest too."
Cheng Lingjun was taken aback, then saw Guan Yue smile and turn back to her home.
He looked at her closed door, feeling a pang of sadness.
Li Guang felt his father's hand suddenly tighten, so he looked up and asked, "Father, what's wrong?"
“…It’s nothing,” Cheng Lingjun took a breath, lowered her head and smiled, “Let’s go home too.”
Cheng Lingjun walked slowly, his mind still on his conversation with Guan Yue. She didn't seem as happy to see him as she used to. There seemed to be something between them, like two neighbors who didn't really interact much. They were polite to each other, occasionally giving each other gifts or helping each other out, but they weren't that close anymore.
Isn't this good? Isn't this the result he wanted?
She must have noticed his deliberate coldness, and even the warmest heart has been extinguished by him. After some time, she will stop bringing him water and food, and perhaps she will forget him altogether...
Cheng Lingjun suddenly fell into a strange fantasy, his expression gloomy, and Li Guang, who was standing next to him, did not dare to disturb him.
At that moment, Guan Yue was standing by the window, watching her good neighbor and his son "chatting and laughing" as they went home. In her heart, she felt like a heartless wife biting her handkerchief and weeping: He really had no heart; only she was heartbroken…
Cough cough cough, Guan Yue adjusted her mindset. It seemed that her strategy of retreating to advance was correct. Cheng Lingjun hadn't paid much attention to her before, but now that they met, they could exchange a few words. It is said that a strong friendship can withstand any storm, and their friendship could naturally be rekindled. She must have been too open-minded before. Cheng Lingjun, being an ancient person and a man from a matriarchal society, must have felt awkward and was too embarrassed to say anything, so he deliberately kept his distance.
She tried not to be too clingy, and sure enough, her relationship with Cheng Lingjun improved again. Guan Yue felt that she had figured it out. As long as she consistently maintained an appropriate distance, Cheng Lingjun would understand that she was actually a strong woman, a great woman who stood tall in a matriarchal world, a gentleman to men and a kind woman to children. They shouldn't become distant anymore.
Yes, Guan Yue has grown during this time. She realized that her inexplicable dependence on Cheng Lingjun was abnormal. Who would want to see and talk to their neighbor every day? Of course, of course, they are neighbors, and it's normal to see each other every day, but everyone has their own things to do and their own lives to live. Should they act like children, talking to their deskmate in class and going to the bathroom together after class? Is that right?
This is definitely not right.
Guan Yue regretted that she realized things too late, but was also glad that she understood them not too late, otherwise it would have continued to wear down her relationship with Cheng Lingjun, and there would have been no way to salvage it then. It seems that her emotional intelligence is steadily improving in ancient times.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
