Chapter 40
40.
Guan Yue's palms were actually sweaty from nervousness.
She seemed a bit distracted all day.
Guan Yue knew when Cheng Lingjun left. She was very sensitive to the sounds of her neighbors across the hall. She heard Li Guang and Cheng Lingjun walking together and guessed that they had gone to Guping Town.
He finally went home.
For Guan Yue, who couldn't go home, she felt a mix of envy and joy, as well as sadness and reluctance. She could no longer return to her modern home, but Dahuai Village was now her home. She had stayed here for a long time, and to be honest, she felt that the people here and everything she had built had made her feel a sense of belonging. Leaving here would feel like leaving another home.
Cheng Lingjun was a large part of her memories of Dahuai Village. If he really left, it would feel like half of her life here was empty.
But how could Guan Yue stop him from going back? She had no right to make him stay, neither emotionally nor logically. In fact, if he really wanted to leave Dahuai Village and return to the Cheng family, she would only bless him and encourage him to go back to his family. Wouldn't that be better than living a hard life in the countryside where he had no relatives or friends?
But while she was rational, she couldn't control her emotions. Guan Yue didn't want to see Cheng Lingjun off with a twisted expression, so she could only hide in her room. This was better than watching him leave with her own eyes.
As evening fell, she ate a simple meal and then joined the villagers at the ancestral hall to watch the festivities. Having been in ancient times for so long, she had never celebrated the New Year here before, nor had she ever witnessed any lively scenes. Being among the crowd helped alleviate some of her melancholy.
Guan Yue doesn't like being in crowds by nature, but she doesn't mind it at this time of year, especially since she's now integrated into this world. The people in Dahuai Village don't dislike her as much as they did when she first transmigrated. The village chief even greeted her and gave her a handful of snacks like melon seeds, red dates, and fried dough twists so she could eat while watching.
The ancestral hall was spacious, and the entire village of Dahuai had gathered there. Except for some people who were visiting relatives and friends, everyone else had come. The fireworks were still being prepared, but there were already peddlers selling food from street to street. They were all cheap and delicious snacks. Guan Yue tried a little of everything. She didn't have much money, but she was only rich enough to feed herself and her family. She didn't have many expenses, so she had saved up enough to be quite generous.
The village children gathered together to play with firecrackers, while the adults either ate or chatted, their mouths never idle. Guan Yue didn't talk to anyone much, but she still got a good listen. Perhaps it was because she looked aloof that no one came over to talk to her, which was a good thing.
Where there are crowds, there is gossip. The young ask about her studies, the older ask about her marriage, those who are married ask about having children, and those with children ask about their grandchildren. Guan Yue would silently walk away when she heard these questions. In her previous life, she had been asked these questions during festivals as well. Even though she had few relatives and friends, she could not escape these fatal questions. Every time she encountered these questions, she would hide in a corner and become invisible.
There were also young, unmarried men in the village, and these men became highly sought-after. Everyone would ask them a question when they saw them. Guan Yue watched from the corner, secretly amused.
However, things got much better once the fireworks started. Everyone was too busy looking up to watch the fireworks to care about anyone else. Guan Yue watched for a while, but she wasn't as excited as the people around her. She had transmigrated from the modern world, so this kind of scene was nothing new to her. Thinking that it would be difficult to leave once the fireworks were over and there were too many people, she left first.
As she approached her doorstep, a sudden thought struck her, and she inexplicably walked towards Cheng Lingjun's house.
He didn't know if he had gone back or not, but he probably hadn't. After all, the Lunar New Year is still the New Year. It wouldn't be surprising if he stayed at the Cheng family's house until after the Lunar New Year. This is a time for family reunions. Even the emperor couldn't stop ordinary people from going home for the New Year.
Guan Yue had no hope that Cheng Lingjun would come back, but after lingering for a while, she couldn't help but knock on the door. What if, what if?
Unable to resist the surging impulse in her heart, Guan Yue raised her hand, and just as she was about to knock, the door opened by itself.
Guan Yue was so frightened that she almost ran away. Her brain worked faster than ever before at that moment, and she managed to save face and avoid being embarrassed in front of others.
After saying this, Guan Yue realized that Cheng Lingjun had really come back.
"Would you...would you like some snacks?"
Guan Yue asked tentatively.
Cheng Lingjun's emotions were no less turbulent than hers. After a brief moment of surprise, he took a step back.
"Of course I'd like to have some free snacks delivered to my door, but it's a bit lacking in tea. Please come in and have a seat."
Guan Yue blinked. It's so late, where are we?
But seeing Cheng Lingjun's clear and serene expression, it seemed she had no other intentions. If she were to act coy and hesitant, wouldn't that make her seem dishonest?
Of course not, she actually wanted to talk to him too.
Guan Yue entered the gate, sat on the stone bench in the courtyard, and watched Cheng Lingjun enter. She said, "It's just for a short while, no need to trouble yourself. You can have some water."
Cheng Lingjun raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. When she came out, she still made tea. Guan Yue could tell from this that she was going to have a long talk.
I wonder if I'll be able to sleep if I drink tea tonight...
Guan Yue thought to herself, but her hands honestly picked up the bowl and took a sip.
Cheng Lingjun sat down opposite her. The courtyard was bright and airy, with fireworks going off behind them. She could go to bed a little later.
When Guan Yue saw Cheng Lingjun, for some reason, her heart calmed down, and she no longer felt uneasy. She smiled and said, "I thought you wouldn't come back. What, did your family not have a bed for you to sleep in?"
Guan Yue meant it as a joke, but Cheng Lingjun said, "Yeah, that's why I got kicked out."
Guan Yue's eyes widened. "R-really?"
Cheng Lingjun smiled and said, "What do you think?"
"I... I don't think so, do I?" Guan Yue observed his expression. "No matter what, you still have your old room and bed, right? Or did you come back because you wanted to see the fireworks?"
Guan Yue thought, how could that be the reason? She felt that Cheng Lingjun probably didn't want to stay at home. Otherwise, his family would have really wanted him to stay since he had finally gone back home. Why wouldn't Cheng Lingjun want to stay at home? Isn't that even stranger?
Guan Yue couldn't figure it out, but she had a gut feeling that Cheng Lingjun was preoccupied and didn't seem happy. Sure enough, something must have happened after he got home, which was why he returned to the village so early.
Cheng Lingjun said, "Of course there was one before, but that was before I got married. Now, it's probably been taken over by my two nieces. Even if they don't, it's probably been turned into a place to store miscellaneous items."
"So it's really because there's no room?" Guan Yue asked.
Cheng Lingjun was silent for a while before saying self-deprecatingly, "I do hope so."
"What happened?" Guan Yue asked cautiously. "Did something happen at home? Do you need any help?"
Cheng Lingjun shook her head, "Nothing happened, it's just that I feel... maybe it's best for my family if I'm not at home."
Guan Yue held her breath. "Was it...was it them who drove you away?"
"No, I left on my own initiative. They... Mother said some things that made it impossible for me to stay at home. If it weren't for Li Guang, maybe I wouldn't have run away, but without Li Guang, I might not even have had the courage to leave the Li family."
Cheng Lingjun's suppressed emotions finally surfaced. He stared blankly at his palm, pondering whether what he had persisted in all this time was right or wrong. He believed he was doing the right thing, but his parents thought it was wrong. In fact, even if he didn't ask others, they probably would think the same way as his parents. Wasn't his reluctance to form deep friendships with others also due to his fear of facing this fact?
If it weren't for Li Guang, he probably wouldn't have been able to hold on until now. It can be said that Xiao Guang is the source of all his courage. Whenever he has to make a choice, as long as he thinks of Xiao Guang, he will grit his teeth and push through. He doesn't know if what he is doing is right or wrong, but as long as it is good for Xiao Guang, then it is right.
He resolutely drank the medicine at that time, not only to take revenge on the Li family, but also to protect Li Guang and give birth to his daughter. He dared not imagine what kind of situation Li Guang would face.
But by doing this, he seemed to have put them at odds with everyone. He couldn't help but waver. Would Li Guang think that what he, as a father, did was right when he grew up?
Cheng Lingjun could tolerate others' objections, but when faced with accusations from his family, he still couldn't help but feel upset.
"Do you... also think that someone like me is ridiculous?" Cheng Lingjun asked, his voice trembling. He was facing his deepest wound and witnessing the moment of tearing apart once again.
"How could this be!"
Guan Yue blurted out immediately, only realizing her voice was too loud the moment it left her lips. She quickly lowered her voice and said anxiously, "You are the best, the very best person I have ever met. No one can say you are wrong. Everything you do is right! Invincible, a hundred times right!"
Guan Yue wasn't good at comforting people; she could only express her deepest feelings. Moreover, she truly believed that Cheng Lingjun was the best person she had ever met. "You are the kindest person I have ever met in this world... You saved me, you know? If it weren't for you, I might have died. I met you, and that's why I am who I am today."
Guan Yue's words were somewhat incoherent. She racked her brains to find the best words to say, but found herself to be a cultural desert in this regard. Therefore, she spoke hurriedly and incoherently. She hoped that Cheng Lingjun could understand that even if everyone denied him, she would always support him in her heart and believe that he was the source of everything that was right.
At this moment, Guan Yue practically elevated Cheng Lingjun to a divine status, imbuing him with blind faith and unwavering passion.
Her simple and blunt language was like a storm sweeping through a dilapidated wooden house, destroying everything without any buffer, and then washing everything away.
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