Chapter 41
41.
"you……"
Cheng Lingjun was almost startled by her, and involuntarily leaned back, staring at her with wide eyes.
Guan Yue snapped out of her daze and realized she had been too excited, even standing up. She quickly straightened up and sat down again. "Um, I didn't... I didn't scare you, did I?"
"……fine."
Cheng Lingjun rubbed her temples before saying, "What you're saying is too exaggerated. To be honest, I'm not as good as you think..."
Guan Yue was about to say something when Cheng Lingjun interrupted her, "Indeed, I saved you, so in your eyes I am a great philanthropist. But no one is perfect, and besides, you know about my past. The real me is not as good as you think. However, I am very grateful to you."
Thank you for everything you said, but he doesn't deserve such kindness.
Guan Yue took a deep breath, resisting the urge to shake the water out of Cheng Lingjun's head, before saying, "You saved me, but I'm not a clueless, ignorant child. Just because you saved me doesn't mean you did everything right. And don't say I don't understand you. We've been together for so long, even if we don't understand each other completely, we understand each other about 70%, right? Do I look so stupid that I can't even tell whether someone is good or bad?"
Cheng Lingjun shook his head after a long while.
"Then..." Guan Yue was about to speak.
“But you have amnesia,” Cheng Lingjun said quietly. “People with amnesia have damaged their brains, so what they say isn’t very reliable.”
"I..." Guan Yue almost fainted from anger.
So you're saying she's stupid, right?
Just as Guan Yue was about to continue arguing, she saw Cheng Lingjun half-covering her mouth with her eyes curved into crescent shapes, and she knew that she had been tricked.
"You...you're laughing!"
"I...I'm sorry," Cheng Lingjun turned her back, composed herself, and said, "I didn't expect you to take it seriously."
"Never mind, it's good that you can laugh," Guan Yue waved her hand, indicating that she didn't care at all.
She sat down again, opened the sesame cakes she had bought, waved to Cheng Lingjun, and said, "I know you're in a bad mood. It's okay, eating something will make you feel better. I used to... when I was hungry, my mood would get worse, so I started eating a lot, and slowly, I felt better."
Cheng Lingjun listened to her words, took the piece of pastry that she broke off, put it in her mouth, and found it fragrant and sweet, with the oily sesame aroma filling her mouth and nose.
It seemed to confirm what Guan Yue had said: when your stomach is full, your emotions are filled too. The fireworks had finished, and the clear stars and moon illuminated the earth again. It was empty and desolate, but you didn't feel lonely.
Cheng Lingjun looked at Guan Yue, who was quietly drinking tea and keeping him company, and his heart stirred. He reached out and placed his hand in front of her.
"What's wrong?" Guan Yue asked, puzzled, but then she saw Cheng Lingjun open his hand, with a small pendant lying on his palm.
The moon, which the rabbit was holding, was bathed in moonlight and looked as if it were made of jade.
"This is too precious!" Guan Yue carefully picked up the little trinket and examined it closely.
Cheng Lingjun coughed. "It's not very expensive, it's just made of porcelain."
"Oh, oh," Guan Yue finally felt it and realized that it didn't feel like a precious item. But it was made of porcelain, so it was still valuable and might break easily.
"Did you buy this? Was it... or was it a gift..."
Cheng Lingjun looked at Guan Yue's little glance and coughed a few times as if she had choked. "It's a cheap little thing I saw on the roadside. I bought it on a whim. If you like it, I'll give it to you."
Of course I like what you gave me.
Guan Yue had a cheesy line pop into her head, but thankfully she didn't say it aloud. Instead, she said tactfully, "Of course I like it. You must have seen a lot of interesting things in Guping Town, right?"
“After all, it’s the Little New Year, so the town is much more lively than usual…” Following this topic, Cheng Lingjun became more talkative. He was very familiar with the town where he grew up, and he could talk about many things without hesitation. He mixed up his previous Little New Year experiences and shared interesting things and events in the town with Guan Yue.
Guan Yue listened with great interest. As Cheng Lingjun continued speaking, he said, "Actually, you can also go to Guping Town. Seeing is believing. You should see for yourself instead of just listening to me. It will definitely be better than what I say."
Guan Yue laughed and said, "That's not necessarily true. I think it might be even more prosperous than what I see. I don't know anyone there. If it's just to broaden my horizons, there's no rush."
In her previous life, Guan Yue was a complete homebody. She would stay home as much as possible. While it was partly due to her weak constitution and tendency to get tired easily, it was mostly because she was lazy and had social anxiety. She avoided contact with people whenever possible. Even when buying inexpensive items, she would choose to buy them online. Now, she is immersed in her idyllic rural life, and the hustle and bustle of the big city does not attract her at all.
However, Cheng Lingjun interpreted these words differently: she was saying that she would be afraid to go alone, or that she would feel lonely and bored. In short, she didn't want to go to unfamiliar places alone. Could this be... an implication to him?
Cheng Lingjun tentatively asked, "If someone were to take you... like me, would you go?"
Hmm? He's inviting her? It wouldn't be good to refuse.
Guan Yue said, "If you ask me to go, I will go."
Cheng Lingjun's ears burned for a moment, but thankfully it was too dark to see clearly at night. Could it be that Guan Yue hadn't wanted to go to Guping Town before because he hadn't asked her to go with her? Didn't she think her words were a bit too blunt?
Sometimes Cheng Lingjun felt that Guan Yue was clueless about matters between men and women, otherwise she wouldn't often say such straightforward things. Other times, he felt that Guan Yue was doing it on purpose, with obvious or subtle meanings that made people want to speculate.
Cheng Lingjun felt he was past the age for marriage. He was like a rotten fruit that had fallen to the ground, and no one would give him a second glance. He didn't care about such matters anyway. He already had a child. Could he still hope for a good marriage like an unmarried man? Even if someone came to propose, they would probably be unsuitable, or second or third marriages, or even someone who wanted to remarry. He knew he was poor and couldn't settle for less. It was fine to just live with his son like this.
But then Guan Yue appeared, disturbing the originally peaceful lake of my heart.
Cheng Lingjun bit her tongue lightly to clear her mind and said calmly, "If there's a chance next time."
Cheng Lingjun felt that he had spoken rather coldly and had not shown much initiative or enthusiasm, but Guan Yue seemed very happy and even asked him when the next time would be.
"Next time...it's next time," Cheng Lingjun couldn't say, and even wondered if Guan Yue was saying it on purpose, or if she was trying to put him down.
Guan Yue didn't mean to make things difficult for Cheng Lingjun. She just enjoyed seeing him show a different expression. She wasn't really that interested—even if she was, it was because Cheng Lingjun had invited her and she was a little curious about where he grew up. But more than that, she wanted to tease him and feel a secret pleasure at seeing him embarrassed.
Seeing her like this, Cheng Lingjun could guess what she was thinking. She felt a little helpless. Why could she always find satisfaction in inconspicuous places? Everyone thought that farm work was hard, but she was happy to do it. She would happily tend to the crops in the field every day, just like a child focused on the toy in his hand. The only difference was that she was not a real child.
Yet, they still retain a childlike innocence.
The more Cheng Lingjun spent with Guan Yue, the more he realized how rare she was, and the more good he discovered in her, the more he became... immersed in their time together. But how could he allow himself to continue indulging in this?
He was no longer a virgin, and he had a son. Guan Yue was young, intelligent, hardworking, and good-looking. Even if it weren't for Dahuai Village, there would be equally diligent young men in Guping Town who would be willing to marry her. She had just lost her memory and was dependent on him, and he was clear about that.
Cheng Lingjun suppressed the thoughts that shouldn't have arisen, and simply basked in the moonlight and frost with her as a friend. The two talked for a long time until the night was quieter and the wind was colder before they parted.
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Cheng Lingjun rarely returns to Guping Town anymore.
Guan Yue was very happy, but she didn't dare to show it.
She felt this was a despicable kind of happiness. Cheng Lingjun was clearly hurt by her family's words, which was why she didn't want to go back, yet she was secretly happy, simply because Cheng Lingjun stayed in front of her.
She could see Cheng Lingjun often again. Every time she wanted to ask when he would return to Guping Town, a mysterious force would always make her shut up. Even if she broke through this mysterious force, she would still get nervous when she asked. But when she heard Cheng Lingjun say that he would not be going back for the time being, her heart would jump for joy.
Is that correct?
At times like this, Guan Yue couldn't be truly happy. She felt it was unfair to Cheng Lingjun. Admittedly, his family had problems, but not all of his family members were bad to him. As it stands, only his mother was the most demanding of him, but the others were good. Moreover, he might miss his father and two older sisters.
Guan Yue didn't dare ask him if he missed the rest of the Cheng family. She was afraid that if he said he did, she would have to persuade him to return to Guping Town.
Since Cheng Lingjun didn't go back, they spent an unforgettable New Year's Eve together in Dahuai Village. He, Li Guang, and she were all invited by the village chief. Guan Yue had no family, and Cheng Lingjun didn't return to Guping Town. When the village chief found out, he let them spend the New Year at his house. Together with the village chief's whole family, they had a lively meal.
It wasn't until almost 9 PM that they said goodbye to the village chief and slowly walked back.
Looking at the shadows of the three people reflected on the ground, Guan Yue, who had drunk a little wine, felt a kind of lightheaded pleasure for the first time. Although she was not drunk, she hummed an off-key song and danced crookedly as if she were drunk.
Perhaps she was too happy, for she revealed her true feelings in a soft humming:
"Cheng Lingjun, please don't go back, okay?"
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