Chapter 118 Each with their own secrets, the word "love" carries such a heavy weight. ...
When I got home, the clock on the wall was pointing to ten o'clock.
The room was brightly lit.
Once the ambiguous and hazy cloak of night was removed, the two of them fell silent.
They parted silently at the corner of the living room, one heading east and the other west, each returning to their room to wash up and rest.
Holding a set of pajamas, Zhu Liushuang walked to the guest bathroom door and consciously glanced at He Ming's master bedroom twice.
The wooden door to the master bedroom was unusually wide open, and the sound of running water mingled with the warm yellow light as it flowed out.
She stood at the door and listened for a while before turning the doorknob and disappearing into the guest bathroom.
After she washed away the chill, she came out of the bathroom with a face free of makeup. The wooden door to the master bedroom was already closed, and a bunch of winter plum blossoms appeared on the coffee table in the living room.
Zhu Liushuang slowly walked to the west balcony carrying the laundry basket, opened the washing machine cabinet, and threw in the change of clothes. While doing this, she was a little absent-minded, so her movements were not as quick as usual.
He Ming tonight is very different from before.
Especially those phoenix eyes that looked at him, filled with an indescribable emotion.
Whenever he looked at her, Zhu Liushuang always felt that he wasn't looking at her directly, but rather through her, looking at someone from a very, very long time ago.
But his gentleness, doting, and care for her were genuine.
It was something she could truly feel.
A nameless unease gripped her. She knew very little about his past, and faced with the unknown, she couldn't help but speculate. Speculation led to endless possibilities, and among these possibilities, there was one she least wanted to face.
That is—
To become a substitute for someone.
It's no wonder she'd be overthinking things; after all, almost everyone has a "white moonlight" they long for but can't have in their youth. He Ming is twenty-eight years old this year, and even if he's "not interested in women," there should still be someone he desperately wants to get close to.
Thinking of this, Zhu Liushuang's eyes dimmed.
He's not one to open up, so asking him directly might not be the best way to get anything out of him.
But if one were to inquire with Ye Xingzhi, it would be an open secret that "Sima Zhao's intentions are obvious to everyone." Moreover, given his personality, he might not entrust his romantic affairs to someone else…
The more I think about it, the more confused I get.
After much deliberation, Zhu Liushuang simply decided to give up.
Feeling a tightness in her chest, she walked to the kitchen in her slippers, intending to make a bowl of ginger soup for He Ming to warm him up.
On the gas stove, the ginger water was bubbling away. She added a few pieces of scallion and two pieces of rock sugar and continued to simmer.
The pungent aroma of ginger wafted up, irritating her nasal passages. Once the rock sugar had completely melted, she pinched her nose and poured the ginger and scallion water from the saucepan into a bowl.
Suddenly, she heard the sound of knuckles knocking on the door behind her. Startled, she accidentally splashed a few drops of scalding hot water onto the back of her hand.
"It's so hot!" Zhu Liushuang jumped back, almost throwing the pot away.
The man, who was leaning against the door and was about to ask her what she was doing, looked anxious, strode in, and without saying a word, took her hand and put it under the tap.
The cool water diluted the heat on the back of her hand, and within seconds she could no longer feel the burning pain.
But the person beside her didn't seem to intend to let go of her hand, and instead reminded her in a serious tone, "You need to rinse for a full fifteen minutes."
Fifteen minutes?
Isn't this making a mountain out of a molehill?
She only got splashed with a few drops of hot water, it wasn't like her entire hand was scalded...
Zhu Liushuang secretly grumbled to herself, though she disagreed a hundred times over, she dared not voice her objections.
He Ming encircled her wrist, and the warmth emanating from their skin against each other was undeniable.
Unlike last time, he didn't hold her tightly enough; he just held her loosely, not allowing her to escape.
A series of thoughts flashed through her mind, and Zhu Liushuang breathed uncomfortably, "Senior... I can do it myself."
The man released his hand and let it hang lazily at his side.
However, his eyes never left the back of her hand, remaining fixed on it.
Zhu Liushuang had no choice but to continue in the flushing position.
Fifteen minutes is already a long time, especially with him watching so intently, it felt like an eternity.
"Senior, ginger and scallion water is only effective when drunk hot." Her gaze fell on the kitchen counter, and she thought of a way to get rid of him.
The man grunted in response but made no further move.
"I specially cooked this for you; it will warm you up and make you sweat." Seeing that he didn't move, Zhu Liushuang continued, "You've been playing in the snow with me for so long tonight; if you catch a cold because of it, I'll feel terrible..."
As expected... "moral blackmail" is more effective.
Before she could finish speaking, the man who had been watching intently reached out and picked up the porcelain bowl.
He rubbed his thumb against the rim of the bowl, then asked thoughtfully, "And what about you?"
"Me?" Zhu Liushuang was taken aback. After understanding the meaning behind his words, she smiled faintly and said, "I'll just drink a packet of Banlangen granules later... This scallion and ginger water tastes too strong, I can't bring myself to drink it."
The man fell silent, tilted his head back, and drank the scallion and ginger water.
While he was looking away, Zhu Liushuang quietly withdrew her hand and held it up to her eyes to take a look.
The back of her hand was fair and flawless, and there was no trace of the burn.
Immediately, she turned off the tap, waved the handle in front of He Ming, and said in a light tone, "Look—five minutes is enough! Nothing will happen."
His outstretched hand was unexpectedly caught, and Zhu Liushuang froze, letting the man examine him closely. Perhaps due to mild nearsightedness, he habitually squinted when looking at objects that were too close.
From her angle, her phoenix eyes seemed to be closed. The corners of her eyes turned inward, and the outer corners slightly arched towards her eyebrows, outlining two pleasing curves on her face.
Zhu Liushuang was so engrossed in watching that she didn't even hear He Ming calling her.
"What are you thinking about so intently?" The man gently tapped her fingertip as a reminder.
An electric shock passed through the point where their index fingers touched, and the ambiguous current traveled all the way up their arms to their brains, bringing Zhu Liushuang back to her senses.
"N-nothing...I'm going to drink some Banlangen." Her ears were already red, but thankfully the blush hadn't spread to her cheeks yet. She quickly put her hands in her pockets and fled.
Behind her, where she couldn't see, the man's pursed lips gradually relaxed, and he narrowed his eyes, revealing a rare smile like a lazy fox.
This night is destined to be sleepless.
Some people took advantage of the last day of the New Year's Day holiday to get together with friends and drink until they were drunk.
Some people are holding their phones, scrolling through video after video, but still can't fall asleep.
...
As for Zhu Liushuang, she turned on the light and counted sheep on the ceiling for over an hour, but He Ming's face still wouldn't leave her mind.
Outside the window, the snow was white and pristine. She got out of bed, walked barefoot to the window, and stared blankly at the falling snow.
Let's rewind time—
Before going to bed, she received a WeChat message from He Ming.
Ask her what the name of the song she was humming outside the Wanhui Shopping Mall was.
Zhu Liushuang, unaware of what was going on, went directly to a music app, searched for the song title, and shared the link to the entire song with him.
He Ming's response came belatedly.
[I've finished listening. Liu Shuang, you might not believe it, but on the night I stayed at school during my senior year of high school, I heard this song on my way back to the dormitory. Now that I think about it, the girl singing that song was probably you.]
Zhu Liushuang's gaze was fixed on the phone screen, her pupils contracted sharply, and she could hardly believe her eyes.
It turns out that all the unusual things that happened tonight were actually foreshadowed!
He mentioned the sudden blizzard to her, and he meaningfully told her "no regrets," his eyes filled with emotions she couldn't decipher. It all stemmed from that chance encounter that night.
...
I was wide awake; the bare branches of the sycamore tree were piled high with snow.
Her unfocused pupils lit up again amidst the swaying, withered branches, and Zhu Liushuang finally understood something.
Since He Ming was able to find fragments about her from the nooks and crannies of his memory, these memories must be extremely precious to him.
My chest was thumping loudly.
Her lips curled up like a crescent moon, blooming silently on her face.
As she laughed, her shoulders began to tremble, and in the blink of an eye, large tears rolled down her cheeks.
That night, she wasn't the only one standing by the window watching the snow.
On the master bedroom balcony, a few dozen meters away, a solitary figure stood leaning against the wall.
He Ming's insomnia has actually improved a lot recently, and the dosage of his medication has been reduced by half a pill.
Except tonight.
After chatting with Zhu Liushuang on WeChat for a while, he lost the ability to fall asleep.
With his mind in turmoil, he simply got out of bed and went to the balcony to feel the cold wind, hoping to clear his head and untangle the knot in his heart.
The cold wind restored my ability to think, and memories came flooding back, one by one.
From the moment they met, fate had bound them together, constantly pulling them closer. He Ming never denied his feelings for Zhu Liushuang, initially because she resembled his mother in some ways. But as their relationship deepened, many of her qualities attracted him.
Her smile healed his pain, her tears made his heart ache, her resilience and independence made his heart ache... until one day, these attraction points came together and brought about a qualitative change.
He felt a protective instinct, a possessiveness, and even... a physical urge towards her.
Even though he had never been in a relationship, He Ming knew that this feeling was called "liking".
A man's attraction to a woman.
Or perhaps—
It's not just about liking it.
His parents' failed marriage left him with no aspirations for starting a family. But if the person he would spend his life with was Zhu Liushuang, he was willing to give it a try.
After living together for only a few months, he seemed to have already gotten used to her presence in the house.
The kitchen is now more lively, the refrigerator is no longer empty, and the house is filled with fresh flowers and various small ornaments.
Whenever he came home from working overtime and saw her curled up on the sofa watching TV, or hunched over the coffee table reading lessons and doing exercises, he felt his heart was filled with joy.
His knuckles turned white from clenching his fists; he felt inexplicably flustered, so—
Is this what "love" is?
The word "love" carries such a heavy weight.
For the first twenty-eight years of his life, he enjoyed the love of his family and loved them unconditionally.
But they all left one after another.
What about Zhu Liushuang?
Is she willing to accept his love?
Will she reciprocate his love in the same way?
He Ming did not know.
He lacks confidence in matters of the heart, given that his family of origin has been broken apart.
His clear eyes gradually became hesitant. He Ming still remembered that absurd and dramatic scene in the hospital corridor. She asked him if he wanted to marry her.
It's as if marriage is just an insignificant transaction.
She said that what she valued about him was nothing more than his appearance, job, and character.
They can part ways amicably at any time.
Thinking of this, he gave a self-deprecating bitter smile.
At least, he still has things she likes about him, doesn't he?
If it weren't for her good looks, how could she blush and feel shy so easily, and how could she so readily accept his physical advances?
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Author's Note: Two little bitter gourds [shrug]
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