Chapter 105 Two Choices
The Prince of Jin frowned as he looked at her, feeling a pang of resentment, and asked, "Are you really that unwilling to be with me?"
Ruan Bi shook her head and said, "I am not unwilling to be with you, but I cannot let a single day of your favor ruin my life."
The Prince of Jin lowered his eyes and remained silent for a long while before saying, "Get up and speak; the ground is cold."
Ruan Bi remained motionless, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.
Having no other choice, the Prince of Jin threw off the covers, slipped on his shoes, and came over to help her up. He hadn't noticed while lying in bed, but as soon as he got up, Ruan Bi saw how terribly thin he had become; his white undergarment looked loose and empty. There were several light pink marks on the hand that was pulling her arm. Feeling a pang of sorrow, she said, "Honestly, you know the Northern Rong people hate you to the bone, yet you weren't careful enough to bring such a small group of people to the border?"
As soon as he finished speaking, he felt the hand gripping his arm tighten. He then said to the Prince of Jin, "You still care about me after all." His tone was low and tinged with a hint of resentment.
Her heart clenched again. Ruan Bi knew that her refusal to visit him had hurt him. "I know you're upset that I didn't come to see you, but think about it. In the palace, the Empress Dowager didn't say a word, just made me kneel outside. Then you pushed me, and the way you looked at me then was like I was a venomous snake. And then you were betrothed. To this day, I'm still completely confused. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?"
Mentioning the incident in the palace, and thinking of how it had changed the lives of her and her daughter, and how it had ruined their marriage, Prince Jin felt a pang of guilt. After a moment of hesitation, he said vaguely, "Something did happen in the palace that day. I was confused at the time; I didn't mean to push you. It's a long story, too complicated to explain now. I'll tell you slowly in the future." Though he said this, he had actually decided never to tell her. "As for the arranged marriage, it wasn't my wish. Just know that my feelings for you have never changed."
So what if it's not what you wanted? So what if your heart hasn't changed?
Ruan Bi smiled bitterly.
Seeing her smile, the Prince of Jin felt as if his heart was being soaked in bitter herbs. He said, "Oh, you, what am I supposed to do with you?" He felt powerless to express himself, so he reached out and embraced her tightly.
Smelling the faint scent of medicine on him, Ruan Bi felt a pang of sorrow in her heart. But considering the current chaotic situation, if she continued to get entangled with him, she would truly be like the woman in the poem "The Silver Bottle at the Bottom of the Well," "ruining my life for a hundred years." So, she hardened her heart and pushed him away, saying, "Don't pull me around. I don't want to bear the stigma of seducing a royal descendant to climb the social ladder."
The Prince of Jin stumbled from the push, his blood rushing to his head, making him dizzy and lightheaded. Leaning against the bedpost, he said, "Mother was just saying that in anger. She was only worried about me. Don't take it to heart. What seduction of a royal descendant, what climbing the social ladder—I really wish you would seduce me and climb the social ladder, but all along, you've always looked like you'd turn around and run away at any moment." He chuckled self-deprecatingly, but the smile quickly faded as his brow furrowed, and he coughed lightly twice, covering his mouth with his fist.
Seeing his strange expression and the fact that he didn't put his hand down after coughing, Ruan Bi knew something was wrong. She pulled his hand away and saw specks of blood, and his lips were also stained. She was both anxious and angry. She helped him sit down on the edge of the bed and said, "Why did you get out of bed? Go back to bed and lie down."
"It's nothing serious, I just got a bit angry."
"A stitch in the side can cause coughing up blood? It's clearly an internal injury that hasn't healed." Ruan Bi said irritably, recalling how she could feel his ribs protruding when he hugged her earlier, and felt truly distressed. She also felt remorseful for pushing him earlier, pulled out a handkerchief, and gently wiped the blood from his mouth, asking softly, "Should we call the imperial physician?"
Prince Jin shook his head repeatedly. He had finally seen her and did not want anyone to disturb him.
Ruan Bi thought for a moment and understood his thoughts. Feeling a mix of emotions, she silently wiped his mouth clean and then took his hand to wipe it as well.
The Prince of Jin stared intently at her, and seeing her lower her head and lower her brows, a hint of tenderness in her eyes, he felt completely satisfied, thinking that all the injuries he had suffered were worthwhile.
The room fell silent for a moment, then sounds from outside drifted in. A faint whisper could be heard asking what to do if the medicine was getting cold. Then Yu Qing seemed to say to wait a little longer. Ruan Bi glanced at the pale-faced Prince Jin, stood up, and left the bedroom.
Outside the door, Yu Qing stood like a door god, with a palace maid beside him holding a tray with a bowl of medicine and a bowl of porridge. Ruan Bi stretched out her hand, gesturing for the maid to give her the tray.
Yu Qing glanced at her expressionlessly, his lips pressed tightly together as if he had made up his mind. He spoke quickly, "Fifth Miss, my lord is in a hurry to return to the capital. The journey has been very bumpy, so his internal injuries have not healed." Ruan Bi was stunned and had not yet recovered when she heard him say, "Also, the lord did not eat a single grain of rice for lunch today. I hope you can persuade him to take care of his health."
He was usually a man of few words, so his sudden outburst showed he couldn't hold back any longer. Ruan Bi nodded slightly, took the plate to Prince Jin's side, and asked, "Why didn't you wait until your injuries healed before coming back?"
"I'll be back after the sixth day of the twelfth lunar month once I've recovered from my injuries." As he spoke, Prince Jin picked up the medicine bowl and drank it all in one gulp. The medicine must have been very bitter, because he immediately frowned and smacked his lips.
So that's how it is. Ruan Bi lowered her eyes. It wasn't that she wasn't moved, but what good was being moved? Even if Prince Jin liked her, they could never be together. Putting aside the matter of the arranged marriage, the Empress Dowager's actions alone were intolerable to her.
The Empress Dowager's rise to power was indeed remarkable. Take today's matter, for example. If she had directly issued an edict appointing her as Prince Jin's concubine, Old Madam Ruan and Ruan Hong would certainly have submitted memorials strongly objecting, Princess Huiwen would have been angry, and the Shen family would likely have objections as well. Therefore, she didn't do that. Instead, she summoned Ruan Bi to Prince Jin's residence for an audience—immediately making the situation unclear and ambiguous, leaving Princess Huiwen without a reason to be angry, and the Ruan and Shen families without a foothold. However, Ruan Bi's entry into Prince Jin's residence as an unmarried woman, coupled with Prince Jin's serious injury, was suspicious to anyone with a modicum of sense… In short, she wanted to use the gossip of the people to force the Ruan family and Ruan Bi to submit.
Unfortunately, she misjudged him, Ruan Bi thought to herself with a cold laugh. She had a temper too, and she couldn't always let others decide her fate. Fine clothes and sumptuous food were important, but living without dignity was worse than dying.
The Prince of Jin carefully observed her expression, frowned, and said, "What are you up to now?"
"No. You should drink the porridge too." Ruan Bi composed herself and looked up only when she was completely calm, then smiled reassuringly, afraid that he might overthink things.
Unexpectedly, this sudden smile made Prince Jin's heart skip a beat, and he felt vaguely uneasy. He looked at her carefully for a while, but found nothing unusual. He reached for the porridge, brought it to his lips, and immediately frowned, saying, "I really can't eat. The medicine made me nauseous." He put the porridge down, then suddenly remembered something, took her hand, and said, "I want to eat the noodles you make."
Ruan Bi looked at him in surprise.
"The chefs in the Prince's mansion just can't make it like this," Prince Jin said, involuntarily recalling that rainy night when he was soaked to the bone, starving, and that bowl of hot noodles had warmed him to the core. He also remembered her walking in a simple white dress through the dark, winding corridors, each step like a lotus blossom. At that moment, a thought suddenly popped into his mind—she must be even more beautiful walking through the carved vermilion corridors of the Prince's mansion.
"Okay, I'll make you a bowl."
There was a small kitchen in the side hall of the sleeping quarters, stocked with all sorts of things. The kitchen had been cleaned, leaving only a maid to tend the fire. Having not cooked in a long time, Ruan Bi's movements were quite rusty, but fortunately, she had no real skill in making dumplings. Once the soup boiled, she dropped the dumplings in, watching them float and sink, the steam swirling and changing shapes, and suddenly she was lost in thought. If she hadn't kindly made a bowl of dumplings that rainy night, would he still care about her so much?
Anyway, let this bowl of noodles end it all.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
