Chapter Fifty-Six: Taking an Inch and Wanting a Mile
The letter left Ruan Bi with a troubled expression. She wanted to write something deeply affectionate, but her mind wasn't in the right frame of mind, and besides, her thoughts were completely occupied by Xu Yongruo's passing and Ruan Lan's future fate, leaving her no time for anything else. If she wrote something too plain, she feared she would displease him. This man was no ordinary person; he was very critical.
Seeing that she had been holding the pen for a long time without writing a single word, Xiuzhi couldn't help but ask curiously, "Miss, what are you trying to write?"
Ruan Bi simply put down her pen, sighed, and asked, "Xiuzhi, what kind of person do you think I am?"
Xiuzhi immediately blurted out, "The girl is a good person."
This is as good as saying nothing at all, Ruan Bi shook her head.
Seeing her shake her head, Xiuzhi mustered her courage and said, "To be honest, even if it might offend you, I'm actually quite naive and can't see what kind of person you are. You hide yourself very well, always restraining yourself, whether you dislike something or like it." Pointing to the green waves of the spring water, she continued, "For example, this pot of flowers. You clearly like it. When you're tired from reading or writing, you like to look at it, and you often smile. But many times you have to pretend you don't care, and you have to convince yourself that you don't care."
Ruan Bi looked at her in surprise.
"Miss, did I say something wrong?" Xiuzhi asked guiltily.
Ruan Bi neither confirmed nor denied it, her eyes slightly lowered. Xiuzhi was right; she was indeed restraining herself. Every time she thought of Prince Jin, ancestral rules and regulations would come to mind, reminding her that the road ahead was fraught with thorns. Even in societies that advocate free love, breakups could occur due to mismatched social status or parental disapproval; how much more so in this patriarchal, clan-based society? She feared falling too deeply, being unable to extricate herself, and ending up battered and bruised.
Seeing that she remained silent again, Xiuzhi asked worriedly, "Are you angry with me, Miss?"
"No, why would I get angry over something so trivial?"
“I knew you wouldn’t be angry, Miss.” Xiuzhi smiled with relief. “That’s why I said you’re a good person, very tolerant, with a heart as vast as a prime minister’s. You’re kind and caring to us. Before, when I was with the old lady, I had to argue and scheme with others every day. Only when I was with you, Miss, did I feel at ease and even learned to read. Last time I told my mother, she said you’re a good person and told me to take good care of you.”
These words made Ruan Bi laugh. She picked up her pen again, dipped it in ink, and wrote: "Spring waters are green, flower buds fill the branches, and my thoughts of you bloom as expected."
After writing it, he glanced at it and found it to be elegant and subtle enough. He then put it in an envelope, sealed it with ink, and asked Xiuzhi to pack some tea leaves and two boxes of pastries as a congratulatory gift for Yunying.
Yunying was in the study when she saw Ruan Bi hand her a letter. Her eyes lit up, and she hurriedly took it and put it in her bosom. Looking at Ruan Bi's eyes, which were much gentler, she said, "Miss, you're a little late. The Third Master has already gone out."
"I don't need to think about it, I can send it another day."
Seeing that her expression had clearly improved, Ruan Bi sighed inwardly. Prince Jin really knew how to train his subordinates; they were all wholeheartedly devoted to him. But thinking about it, it made sense. He was still the Commander-in-Chief of the Palace Guard, the supreme commander of the army. If there were disloyal people around him, it would be a disaster.
After chatting with Yunying for a few more minutes, she was always extremely respectful, answering every question with concise, official-sounding words, which was quite boring, so she quickly took her leave. As she came out, she saw Xiuping standing at the door of the side room, her expression gloomy. When Xiuping met Ruan Bi's gaze, she immediately turned and went back into the room. Ruan Bi pretended not to see her and returned to the east wing of Liaoyuan Garden.
For a while, whenever she had free time, she would go to the old lady's room to be with her. But this time, after returning from Yuxu Temple, she seemed less willing to go. Xiuzhi naturally knew the crux of the matter. After thinking for a moment, she gently persuaded, "Why don't you go to the old lady's courtyard to sit for a while, Miss? With Master Xu's passing, the old lady must be in a bad mood. Even if you go and listen, you can share some of her worries."
“Lots of people are listening,” Ruan Bi said dismissively.
Because of the incident involving the second young lady taking the blame, she and the old lady harbored resentment towards each other, their previous harmony gone, and seeing each other only added to their distress. Moreover, she had heard that since the second young lady returned from the palace, she had been constantly at the old lady's side, winning her favor. If she went to see her, it would seem as if she were vying for favor, wouldn't that make her a laughingstock?
Of course, the most important point is that she hasn't figured out what to do next. When she's angry, she wants to smash the Ruan mansion to pieces, but this is also where she makes her living; if she really destroys it, even the likes of Prince Han won't be able to stop her. She's also considered defeating the First Madam and taking control of the inner quarters. But she's not a married woman; she's a young woman awaiting marriage. Even with all that effort, she can only manage the inner quarters temporarily. So, she'd better think about it some more.
Another day has passed in a flash.
The fourth sister finished making the pomegranate skirt and personally delivered it over.
As soon as the skirt was unfurled, Ruan Bi was stunned. Only after putting it on did she understand the beauty described in the poem as "the skirt envies the pomegranate blossoms." She had grown quite a bit taller recently, now about the same height as the Fourth Miss, and wearing this high-waisted, floor-length skirt made her appear especially slender and graceful. The brocade with scattered flowers was brightly colored, red with gold flowers, shimmering and dazzling, a radiant display of color. The Fourth Miss's craftsmanship was also excellent; every pleat of the skirt was neatly and precisely finished, making her appear as if a tree full of pomegranate blossoms were blooming with every step.
She had never liked overly vibrant colors and found beauty heartbreaking. With a sigh, she said, "It's over, Fourth Sister. After wearing the dresses you made, none of the embroiderers in the manor can match my taste anymore."
The fourth sister laughed and said, "Good girl, you want to rely on me from now on. Fine, it's only eight sets of clothes for the four seasons anyway, I'll take care of them all for you."
"How could I? I'm perfectly content with this."
The fourth sister smiled knowingly and said, "I had no idea my sister was so easily satisfied?"
Ruan Bi smiled. It wasn't that she was easily satisfied, but rather that she felt truly helpless living in this era. She wanted to achieve great things like men, not to fight amongst herself in the inner quarters and end up like the First Madam, the Old Madam, the Empress, or Consort Xie. Even if she eliminated all the concubines, the root of the problem would still lie with men.
“I’ve thought about what you said the other day for a long time. I was just being petty and judging you by my own standards.” The fourth sister stood up and gracefully curtsied to Ruan Bi. “I’d like to apologize to you first.”
Ruan Bi returned the greeting and said, "It's normal for you to have doubts, sister. There's no need to take it to heart."
"My sister is so perceptive; she even discerned my nature from my embroidery. The phoenix facing the sun... Yes, that is indeed what my heart desires. However, meeting Cousin Xu..." The fourth sister lowered her head, her eyes dimming slightly, her lips trembling for a long time before she finally raised her head again and said, "To be honest, my sister, I also thought about marrying Cousin Xu, living a harmonious and happy life together. But when I think of my mother's cruelty, when I think of her future dealings with my third brother, when I think of my aunt dying old in the temple... I can't swallow this anger, really, I can't swallow it." At the end, she spoke slowly and deliberately, her eyes filled with hatred.
"I understand what you're saying, sister," Ruan Bi said, her voice filled with mixed emotions. She wasn't surprised by the Fourth Miss's choice. The girl was only fourteen, beautiful, and born into a prestigious family. She'd heard nothing but stories of court intrigue and politics; it was perfectly normal for her to be ambitious. Besides, the First Madam's grudge against her ran so deep; it would be strange if she didn't harbor thoughts of revenge. Marrying Xu Chuanyang meant she was powerless to protect Consort Lin and the Third Young Master; it was better to take a gamble.
The fourth sister then asked, "Does my sister know that I once met an official when I was a child?"
Ruan Bi opened her eyes wide in surprise. There were many eunuchs and palace maids in the palace who never got to see the emperor's face in their entire lives. How did she get to see him?
The fourth daughter said with a bit of pride, "In the twenty-second year of Qinghe, when I was eight years old, on the Emperor's birthday, four hundred exceptionally beautiful girls were selected from the capital to dance 'Picking Lotus.' I was chosen as one of the four leading fairy children and danced at the front. At that time, the Emperor had already been established as the Crown Prince and was sitting next to the late Emperor."
"Oh, what does the official look like?"
"He is the most handsome man I have ever seen."
Ruan Bi thought to herself, "You're confined to your mansion every day, never stepping out of the front or back gates. How many men have you seen?" However, judging from the Empress Dowager and Prince Jin's appearances, she could deduce that the official's appearance wouldn't be too bad. "So, sister, you still remember him?"
The fourth sister shook her head and said, "I was only eight years old then, and I forgot it at a glance. How could I remember it for so long? I just remembered it today and told my younger sister about it."
This is indeed a topic that can be used to make a fuss. Fourth Miss is indeed a thoughtful person. Ruan Bi smiled and said, "I understand."
The fourth sister also laughed, but in the end, there was an undisguised sense of melancholy deep in her eyes.
Just then, Hanxing called from outside the door: "Miss, Sister Yunying has arrived."
Here we go again? Ruan Bi now feels like she has a stab in her back whenever she hears her name.
A moment later, Yunying quietly entered. Seeing that the Fourth Miss was also there, she paused for a moment, then simply went forward to greet her without saying anything else.
The fourth sister stood up tactfully and said, "Sister Yunying, Fifth Sister, I still have embroidery to do, so I'll go back first."
Yunying and Ruanbi saw her off together.
As she reached the door, the fourth sister turned back and said with a smile, "Fifth sister, remember to wear this outfit to the Chrysanthemum Gathering at Dingguo Mansion the day after tomorrow, so that your second sister can see it." After saying that, she lifted the curtain and went out.
Yunying only noticed now that Ruan Bi had changed into a new dress. After taking a closer look, she exclaimed, "You look so beautiful in this, Miss." She paused slightly, then asked, "Are you going to the Duke of Dingguo's mansion the day after tomorrow, Miss?"
"yes."
"Is this dress the young lady going out?"
Her question was strange, and Ruan Bi looked at her in confusion before replying, "Yes."
Yunying didn't say anything more. She took out a letter from her bosom and handed it to Ruanbi. Knowing that Ruanbi wouldn't reply in front of her, she simply bowed and left.
Ruan Bi opened the letter, took out the letter paper, and read: "Yesterday I suddenly received a letter from you, and I was overjoyed. However, it was only fourteen characters, bland as water, and did not satisfy my thirst. From today onwards, I will report everything, big or small, joyful or sorrowful. If it is less than a hundred words, a sword will follow. Remember this well. I feel like dying, and I don't know what to do."
Ruan Bi was initially both amused and exasperated, complaining that her letter wasn't sentimental enough and that it was too short, and that she was being unreasonable by demanding at least a hundred words in each letter. But upon seeing the last eight characters, all her previous thoughts vanished, leaving only a surge of emotion in her heart.
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