【She Sees the World】Why is the Junior Sister Silent?
Zhou Shanyuan slowly raised his head and looked into Zhou Suyao's eyes.
He suddenly remembered the question his master asked him that day when he was worried about her name.
"Shanyuan, what should your junior sister be called?"
He paused holding the herbs after hearing the name. After a while, he slowly spoke:
"Let's call her 'Suyao'."
"Su" means pure, simple and authentic, while "yao" means the pursuit of a certain state of mind. The combination of the two characters means 'seeing the simplicity and embracing the simplicity'."
Upon hearing this, the master's eyes lit up and he repeated the name several times before looking up again and praisingly saying, "This is a good name."
Zhou Shanyuan also smiled. Although he had been in this world for thousands of years, this was the first time he gave a name to someone.
"Zhou Suyao...?" He also imitated his master and chewed the name in his mouth. In an instant, the name seemed to be connected with him.
He didn't know then that this name would be so hard for him to let go.
He looked at the pair of eyes that he only dared to look at carefully in his dreams. Now, because of his nightmare, he showed a look of worry.
He couldn't describe his emotions at the moment, he only knew that when he saw her worried about him, a hint of joy rose in his heart for some reason.
Zhou Shanyuan's gaze lingered on her face for too long, so long that Zhou Suyao felt a little uneasy. His trembling fingers suddenly made him sober up, and he was still holding her hand tightly.
He should have let go.
But perhaps because he was attached to the warmth of her fingertips, his hand subconsciously curled up.
"I'm fine." His voice was still a little hoarse. He propped himself up and sat up. His underwear was loose and slightly open. From Zhou Suyao's perspective, she could clearly see the wet sweat caused by the nightmare and the clear outline of his collarbone.
The tips of her ears felt hot and she immediately averted her eyes.
But she still asked with concern: "Big Brother, are you really okay? You seem... crying?"
Zhou Shanyuan was stunned. He raised his hand and touched his cheek, and sure enough, he felt a trace of cold tears.
He actually cried in his dream.
For the desperate dream that cannot be escaped, and also for the person in front of him who is safe and sound and who is worried about him.
"It's just a nightmare." He lowered his eyes, avoiding her probing gaze, and said softly, "Did I disturb you?"
Zhou Suyao shook her head: "I just heard some noise over there, so I came to check." She paused and added, "I didn't come here casually. I just called you a few times, but you ignored me..."
"I know." He whispered, his voice so soft that it blended in with the sound of the falling rain and was almost inaudible. "Thank you."
The rain outside the window seemed to have subsided, but the night was still dark. The candlelight on the table flickered, casting the shadows of the two people on the wall, dancing with the flames.
Suddenly, a cool breeze came in from the window. Zhou Suyao, who was wearing thin pajamas, rubbed her arms subconsciously.
Zhou Shanyuan noticed immediately: "Cold?"
As he said this, he lifted the quilt and was about to get out of bed, wanting to close the window tighter.
"No need, big brother," Zhou Suyao saw this and quickly held his arm, "I'll go sleep over there, I'll just turn it off. You just had a nightmare and you're weak now, it's not good to be exposed to the wind."
As she was about to stand up, he gently held her wrist.
His palm was large, and he easily encircled her wrist.
Zhou Shanyuan himself was stunned for a moment. He didn't know why he behaved like this. Perhaps he subconsciously didn't want her to leave like this. Such a moment of peace was too precious, and he wanted to keep it for a moment longer.
"Sit for a while... I'm scared. Talk to me."
This excuse is so lame and funny.
Zhou Suyao blinked. Obviously, she didn't believe that her senior brother would be so scared because of a nightmare that he needed someone to talk to him.
But she did not expose this poor excuse, but just followed his words and sat back on the bed.
Her hand was still held by him, and she was sweating profusely.
The two were speechless for a moment.
In the quiet room, the only sounds were the soft breathing of each other and the lingering, fine rain outside the window.
Zhou Shanyuan's thumb unconsciously stroked the inside of her wrist. The touch instantly reminded him of the stacked peach petals in his dream and her soft lips.
The fire that was forcibly suppressed within the body seemed to be about to reignite.
He was startled by his own reaction and jerked his hand away as if he had been stung by something.
Zhou Suyao looked at him puzzledly.
But this time, he didn't look into her eyes. Instead, he looked down at his thumb stroking her wrist, his brows slightly furrowed, as if he was thinking about something.
Finally, he slowly opened his mouth and called her softly.
"Suyao."
He called her name.
He called out seriously, word by word.
Zhou Suyao opened her eyes slightly. She always thought that the eldest brother's voice was very pleasant, just like the crisp sound when jade pendants collided with each other.
She was so engrossed in listening that she even forgot to say "eh".
"If..." Zhou Shanyuan's voice was very soft, even trembling a little, "If one day, you find out that I am not who you think I am, and I... have done something very bad... and have to do it, what will you do?"
His question was so incoherent that Zhou Suyao couldn't react immediately and realized that he was asking a question.
But the struggle in his tone was so real that Zhou Suyao had to face his problem head-on.
She suddenly remembered the senior brother she saw in the illusion.
So, what the eldest brother wanted to say was that when he watched the demons reduced to furnaces that day, he had no choice but to do it, and it was something he had to do.
What kind of thing does he have to do that would allow him to calmly watch the demise of a race?
She didn't know what to say.
She lowered her eyes and didn't look at him.
Her emotions were too complicated, so she didn't speak. Zhou Shanyuan stared at her silence and suddenly regretted asking the question.
He was afraid to hear the answer, and even more afraid to see alienation and hatred in her eyes.
Just when he was about to say "It's okay, just pretend I didn't ask", Zhou Suyao's voice rang out softly.
"Big Brother is Big Brother," she said. "You made me peach blossom cakes, taught me martial arts, and always came to save me when I was in danger. You are my dearest one, Big Brother."
"It's hard to tell what's good and what's bad in people's hearts, but I know you're good to me. At least at this moment, that's enough."
Zhou Shanyuan looked up at her.
Her eyes were clear and reflected his image.
At that moment, the immense sorrow almost overwhelmed his sanity. His fingertips trembled slightly, and he could hardly control the urge to hug his junior sister tightly in his arms, and then confess all his pain and all the conspiracies he had during his time on the spiritual path.
But he didn't do it in the end.
He just took a deep breath, very slowly, as if that could push all the emotions back into his heart.
He can't.
He cannot put love above spiritual path.
"Yeah." He smiled, "That's enough."
He raised his hand and, with great restraint, gently brushed away a strand of hair from her temple with his fingertips.
"Go back and get some more sleep, Suyao." He said softly, "It's almost dawn, and we'll have to travel soon. Your body won't be able to hold on."
Zhou Suyao looked at him, as if she still had a lot to say, but in the end she said nothing else and just nodded slowly, "Big Brother, you should have a good rest too."
She walked past the screen and couldn't help but look back at him again.
Zhou Shanyuan was still sitting by the bed, his figure outlined by the candlelight, which seemed to be stained with a layer of yellow, like a Buddha statue or a Guanyin statue.
Her figure was blocked by the screen.
Only then did the smile on Zhou Shanyuan's face slowly disappear. He blew out the candle beside him, but did not lie back on the bed.
He suddenly felt a lot of pain.
My heart hurts.
Tears welled up in his eyes again, but he didn't even dare to sob.
He bit the soft flesh on his hand tightly, and even though it hurt so much and even blood was coming out, he didn't let go.
It hurts a lot.
But if he were asked to kill Zhou Suyao, he would only feel more pain than he does now.
But if the scourge of Zhou Suyao is not dealt with, Jiang Luan's prediction will always be uncertain.
His nails dug deep into his palms, and the edge of the jade pendant engraved with Zi Jin almost embedded into his flesh.
Outside the window, the sound of rain gradually subsided, and the room gradually fell into a terrifying silence.
He couldn't kill her.
This thought appeared in his consciousness more clearly than ever before.
No matter how accurate Jiang Luan's words were, no matter how imminent the threat Ling Dao faced, no matter what his father... his father might be suffering at this moment, as long as he thought about her eyes dimming in front of him, he felt an almost overwhelming despair.
It hurts more than the self-destructing elixir.
But how can I not kill her?
Ling Dao will never give up. Today I sent the jade pendant to him as a threat, tomorrow it might be my father's severed finger, and next time... what about the next time?
He didn't dare to think about it.
In order to maintain the so-called order, those gods never treat people as "humans". Even an "ascendant" like him who barely makes it among them is just a slightly more important chess piece.
But even if he is just a chess piece, he is also a supreme god in the spiritual world.
He possessed immortality and boundless divine power; he was a supreme god, and Zhou Suyao was merely... a brief passing moment in his long life...
Yes, just a brief passing...
But why did his heart ache so much when he thought about her death?
"Suyao. Suyao."
He had no choice.
All he could do was to let her travel more mountains and rivers, and if possible, it would be best to leave the spiritual path and stay away from this troubled place.
But... even if she leaves the spiritual path, where can she go?
Humanity is being oppressed, and the laws of nature are becoming extremely dark.
Wherever she goes, she is destined to have an unhappy life.
Now being able to keep her by my side and protect her is the best choice.
He felt dizzy and despair was about to overwhelm him.
He could only repeat the name silently between his lips and teeth over and over again, as if he could draw the last bit of warmth and courage from it.
However, deep down in his heart, he also fully understood that everything he thought was nothing but self-deception.
There is no easy turnaround in the world, and there is no way to have the best of both worlds.
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