“Your Highness is really bad at conversation.” Shen Jintang gently raised her head, her gaze falling on Gu Zhixing’s face, her eyes carrying a hint of mockery, yet also a touch of bitterness. “Logically speaking, you should ask me what his attitude is towards me.”
"That way, I can continue our conversation."
Gu Zhixing opened his mouth, but something seemed to be blocking his throat. Even though he already knew the answer, all he could say in the end was, "What is his attitude towards you?"
"I don't know." Shen Jintang's voice was as light as a breeze, carrying a hint of weariness, as if it were the helplessness after being repeatedly torn apart by fate.
"You don't know?" Gu Zhixing frowned slightly, somewhat surprised.
Based on his interactions with Shen Jintang over this period, he knew that Shen Jintang was a smart person. How could she not know that Grand Tutor Shen wanted her to die in order to preserve his upright reputation?
Shen Jintang smiled bitterly, a hint of self-mockery flashing in her eyes: "I don't know, because I didn't see him. I didn't even get inside the Grand Tutor's mansion before Aunt Qiu sold me to the slave market."
“I still don’t know what Grand Tutor Shen looks like, but I know his attitude towards me—he wants to kill me, and the assassins a while ago were sent by him to kill me.”
Gu Zhixing pursed his lips slightly, a complex emotion flashing in his eyes.
He wanted to comfort Shen Jintang, but found that he couldn't find the right words at all.
He had never experienced anything like this before, nor had he ever imagined that Shen Jintang's fate would be so bumpy.
A strange bitterness welled up in his heart, as if he had been struck hard by the hammer of fate.
At this moment, he had long since put aside his previous anger towards Shen Jintang, and his heart was filled with Shen Jintang's tragic fate.
“Your Highness, I know you want to ask why I lied to you.” Shen Jintang was silent for a moment, his voice low and calm, as if he were telling a story that had been destined long ago. “I can only say that I had no choice.”
She paused slightly, then her voice gradually became firm: "When I was a child, I had no choice but to work for other people's families to support my younger siblings; on the way to Kyoto, I had no choice but to sell myself to earn some travel expenses, exchanging my physical labor for meager wages; now, in order to survive, I still have no choice but to climb up little by little, so that my life is no longer so cheap, no longer so insignificant, so that no one will care if I die."
Shen Jintang's voice choked slightly, but she quickly regained her composure.
She raised her head, looking directly at Gu Zhixing, a hint of stubbornness flashing in her eyes: "Your Highness, I could have stayed peacefully in the Grand Tutor's mansion. Even if the Shen family looked down on me, with His Majesty's personal recognition of my status as a cousin, I could have lived peacefully in the Shen family."
“I know that it was not your intention for me to become a slave, but it is because of you that I became a slave and lost my status as a cousin. The Shen family can now take my life easily, without any hesitation. I live in constant fear, my life hanging by a thread.”
Gu Zhixing frowned, a hint of guilt and self-reproach flashing in his eyes. He said in a low voice, "I know, that's why I arranged for guards to protect you."
“Not enough.” Shen Jintang interrupted him, her tone firm and serious. “Your Highness, this is far from enough.”
“Your Highness, I want to live, to live with dignity, like a human being, not a parasitic vine clinging to a tree.”
Her eyes were slightly red, but a stubborn smile played on her lips: "I've had enough of this life of constant fear and dependence on others. I want a free and independent life. Is that wrong?"
"Yes, Your Highness, I did indeed scheme against you."
She lowered her head slightly, her voice so soft it was as if she were talking to herself: "Every moment I'm by your side, I'm observing you, trying to figure out your thoughts, and calculating your temper. I'm constantly thinking about what you like and dislike, and even a glance or a tone of your voice is of utmost importance to me."
“I have meticulously planned a conspiracy against you, down to every word you might say and every action you might take. I have rehearsed it countless times in my mind, calculating what to say and do in order to make you study hard and to fulfill the bet between me and Her Highness the Princess.”
Her voice trembled slightly, but quickly regained its composure: "These past few days, in the quiet of the night, I've been thinking, is it fair to take advantage of you like this?"
“But in Kyoto, you are the only person I know. And you are the only one who is kind to me. I know I am a selfish person, and I know it is unfair to you, but I still did it, just so that I could survive.”
Gu Zhixing looked at Shen Jintang; every word she said felt like a heavy blow to his heart. Her words echoed repeatedly in his mind:
—Every moment I spend by your side, I am observing you.
—I think about what you like and dislike all the time.
—A single glance or a single tone of your voice is of utmost importance to me.
—In Kyoto, you are the only person I know.
—Only you are kind to me.
At this moment, a complex emotion welled up in Gu Zhixing's heart.
He never imagined that Shen Jintang would put so much effort into him.
Even if it's all a scheme, the effort put into it is undeniable.
“Shen Jintang!” Gu Zhixing leaned down slightly, his gaze as sharp as a torch falling on Shen Jintang’s face, his eyes deep and bright, as if he could see into people’s hearts.
"You know my personality; I always seek revenge and never let myself be taken advantage of!"
Shen Jintang lowered her eyes, her long eyelashes falling like black feathers, casting a faint shadow on her eye sockets, hiding her emotions in gloom.
Her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible, tinged with a hint of probing: "Your Highness, perhaps you could..." give me a beating.
She couldn't think of any other way to get Gu Zhixing to vent his anger.
She was strong and healthy since childhood and had been beaten a lot since she was a child. She was used to it, so what did it matter if she was beaten?
"I'll decide on my own punishment. What's the point of you telling me?" Gu Zhixing interrupted Shen Jintang, stood up, and paced back and forth in the room, as if weighing some important decision.
Shen Jintang's gaze followed Gu Zhixing's retreating figure, her heart filled with slight unease.
What kind of punishment will he come up with?
If you cannot accept it, how should you refuse?
Her thoughts raced as she tried to find a suitable solution.
Just as Shen Jintang was lost in thought, Gu Zhixing stopped in front of her, leaned down slightly, and looked at her directly.
He smiled slightly, his eyes sparkling: "I've figured it out, so I'll punish you by making you my friend from now on!"
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