Chapter 47 47 "I haven't kissed you enough."
This was the second time He Jingsui rushed to the hospital, all because of the tears in the eyes of his beloved girl.
When he rushed to the hospital, he saw Chen Zan at the end of the corridor. She was sitting alone on a lounge chair next to the ward door. Her thin body looked a little weak, her hair was messy, and she hung her head, feeling helpless and sad.
He Jing then ran over, knelt on one knee in front of her, raised his hand, and tucked her messy hair behind her ear.
Chen Zan turned his head and looked up at him.
When he saw that familiar face clearly, all the grievances and fears in his heart came out all at once. Chen Zan pursed his lips and shed tears silently.
When he saw someone crying, He Jingsui felt extremely distressed. He held her face in his hands and quickly wiped away the tears with his warm fingertips.
He let go of everything, and all he could see was the aggrieved girl in front of him.
"Why are you crying even harder?"
The more she wiped her tears, the more they accumulated. He Jingsui was at a loss for what to do for the first time. He had left in such a hurry that he hadn't brought any paper with him. He had no choice but to pull her into his arms and coax her softly, "Okay, don't cry anymore..."
But at this moment, Chen Zan seemed to have found a fulcrum to vent her emotions. She hugged him tightly, and her body couldn't stop trembling in his arms.
Warm tears soaked his clothes and burned his skin.
She was shaking with tears, and He Jingsui felt bad too.
"Zhanzhan, don't cry." He Jingsui rubbed the back of her head with his palm and coaxed her like a child, "I'm here, don't be afraid..."
He Jingsui stayed there with her for a long time, and only after her emotions calmed down did he learn the situation from her.
She sat beside him, twisting her fingers in self-blame. She hadn't stopped crying yet, and her voice was still filled with pain. "It's all my fault. If I had cared more about her and taken better care of her, this wouldn't have happened."
Her sad look was heartbreaking, so He Jing held her hand, pinched her fingers and comforted her, "Auntie will be fine, don't worry too much."
Chen Zhan nodded. She leaned on his shoulder like a tired bird, closed her eyes, and rubbed against him coquettishly. "It's a good thing you came, otherwise... I really don't know what to do."
"You called me, so I came." He Jingsui smiled and hugged her directly into his arms. He pinched her nose with his fingers and said, "You've cried enough. In the end, I'm the one who feels distressed."
Lou Yan woke up the next morning. Chen Zan was so happy that her eyes almost turned red again. She held Lou Yan's hand and her eyes fell on her pale face.
"Mom, how are you feeling? Are you still feeling uncomfortable?"
Everything around her was white, blurry and clear, clear and blurry again. Her head felt dizzy, and everything in front of her seemed to be spinning non-stop in her eyes.
Lou Yan frowned and uttered weakly, "Where is this?"
"This is the hospital. You fainted in class yesterday, and the school principal brought you to the hospital."
The voice sounded soft and anxious, and Lou Yan finally saw Chen Zhan's face clearly. She looked at her distressedly, her eyebrows and eyes furrowed, and her gentle and beautiful face also showed a bit of paleness and haggardness.
In her impression, Chen Zhan had never shown such a distressed expression to her.
This is the first time I see you today.
Lou Yan pursed her pale lips, and the corners of her lips curved slightly.
It was not discovered by Chen Zan.
She just held Lou Yan's hand, feeling sad and blaming herself, "Why didn't you tell me you were sick..."
Lou Yan looked at her quietly and said lightly: "It's just a minor problem."
Chen Zhan's eyes instantly turned red, and his voice trembled as if he was about to cry. "That's depression, it's not a minor problem. If you hadn't gone to the hospital this time, were you planning to keep it a secret from me forever?"
Lou Yan had no intention of hiding it. She thought she was pretty good at managing her emotions, but she was under too much mental pressure during this period.
She called Chen Jinnian, but he either gave her a perfunctory answer or said he was busy. In the end, the call could not be connected and his phone was even turned off. Lou Yan was really sad. She was sad about why Chen Jinnian was like this. For his career, they could not see each other all year round. Even New Year's Eve, when the family should have been reunited, was put after work by him.
She couldn't understand why Chen Jinnian couldn't be like an ordinary man and live happily with his wife and children. Every night she slept alone in bed, and the person next to her was always cold. She couldn't stand such loneliness and finally had an emotional outburst.
She kept calling until Chen Jinnian got annoyed. She broke down and argued with him on the phone, asking him why he hadn't cared about the family at all over the years.
Perhaps she was having a seizure. She even began to imagine things. With a trembling voice, she twisted the last bit of hope and asked him, "Chen Jinnian, tell me honestly, do you have someone else outside?"
Chen Jinnian didn't give her an answer and hung up the phone coldly.
This seemed to be the last straw that broke the camel's back. After that day, Lou Yan seemed unable to act like a normal person. She always liked to think about these things in her spare time. Suspicion, panic, helplessness, and confusion, all the emotions rushed to surround her and tried to swallow her up. She didn't know what to do.
She could only numb herself with busy work, like a perpetual motion machine, working day and night. However, she still miscalculated. The machine would also be scrapped one day. The long period of high concentration made her body tired. Finally, she couldn't bear it anymore and fainted on the ground.
These are things Chen Zan doesn't know.
Lou Yan didn't plan to tell her either.
But seeing the emotions overflowing in her eyes, and having been so strict and hard-hearted with her for so many years, he couldn't help but feel a tear in his eye at that moment.
She squeezed her hand tightly and told her that she was fine.
Chen Zhan really wanted to cry. She didn't know what Lou Yan was insisting on, nor did she know why she was tormenting herself like this. She sniffed, holding back the tears that were about to fall. She sat down beside Lou Yan's bed and apologized to her, "I'm sorry, Mom. If I had cared more about you, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
"I'm really... sorry."
"This matter has nothing to do with you," Lou Yan said, "This is my own problem."
She looked at her pale face with red eyes, held her hand and put it against her face, saying: "Don't worry, from today on, I will definitely accompany you well."
"Let's cure this disease together."
During this period, Chen Zan stayed in the hospital with Lou Yan almost every day, sitting by her bed to peel fruit for her, accompanying her to relax in the small garden downstairs, or playing some light music for her to relieve her mental fatigue.
The mother and daughter accompanied each other and spent some warm days together.
However, Chen Zhan could still see that Lou Yan was often depressed. She knew that she was thinking about Chen Jinnian, so when Lou Yan fell asleep during her lunch break, Chen Zhan walked to the window and called Chen Jinnian.
The phone rang many times before someone answered.
"Hello—" Afraid of waking Lou Yan, Chen Zan lowered his voice and covered the receiver with his hand. He turned his head to see that the person on the bed had not woken up. Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief and called Chen Jinnian, "Dad."
"Zhanzhan, how come you have time to call me today?" Chen Jinnian on the phone was not busy at the moment. He was particularly surprised to see his daughter calling.
Chen Zhan didn't tell him that Lou Yan was sick and in the hospital. He just asked him indirectly if he had time to come back and visit. "I miss you a little bit, Dad. Can you spare some time to come back and visit?"
"You're already a grown-up girl, why are you still acting like a child and acting like a spoiled child to your dad?" Chen Jinnian sighed, feeling a little distressed. "Zhanzhan, it's not that Dad won't come back, it's just that I really can't leave here. If I leave, we'll be leaderless, and all the projects will have to be put on hold. Dad can't afford such a loss."
"But... Mom and I miss you so much, she's..." Chen Zhan wanted to say something, but Chen Jinnian on the other end of the line didn't seem to be in the mood to listen. He interrupted her abruptly, "Okay, Zhan Zhan, you're a grown-up girl now, you should be more sensible. You're on summer vacation now, so stay home and spend time with your mom."
After saying that, without waiting for her to react, Chen Jinnian hung up the phone.
The cold sound of the phone being hung up rang in his ears, and Chen Zhan sighed uncomfortably.
After a week of Chen Zhan's companionship, Lou Yan actively cooperated with the doctor's treatment, and her condition and spirits improved a lot. It rained last night, the temperature became much more humid, and the sun was softer. Chen Zhan accompanied her to the garden downstairs for a walk and to bask in the sun.
Chen Zhan went to a nearby flower shop and bought a bouquet of carnations, which he gave to Lou Yan.
The bouquet was heavy. Lou Yan saw Chen Zhan looking a little embarrassed and shy. "I don't think... I've ever given you flowers. I just saw them when I passed by and thought they were quite beautiful."
Lou Yan saw through her little thoughts and smiled faintly at her, "Thank you."
"Do you... like it?" Chen Zan asked tentatively, with anticipation in his eyes.
Lou Yan is not good at expressing himself, and all he said was, "It's not bad."
Chen Zhan smiled softly with curved lips and eyes.
If she didn't reject me, it meant she liked me.
It was the first time she smiled so happily in front of Lou Yan, and her voice was also light and cheerful, "Then I will buy you another bouquet tomorrow."
Chen Zan was so busy taking care of Lou Yan in the hospital during this period that she had almost no time to meet He Jingsui. She was afraid that Lou Yan would become suspicious, so she didn't even call him often.
She is the only one who is busy inside and outside.
That day she took Lou Yan for a walk in the small garden again. The weather was sunny and the sky was clear. The fresh air was filled with the faint fragrance of flowers.
Chen Zan held Lou Yan's arm and walked slowly along the winding cobblestone path. There were quite a lot of people taking a walk in the garden, including the elderly and children.
"Mom, how are you feeling today?" Chen Zhan asked her, "Do you feel happier?"
"Yeah." Lou Yan nodded.
"That's good." Chen Zan felt relieved.
As soon as she finished speaking, the phone in her bag rang. It was the doctor calling, informing Chen Zan that she had to take Lou Yan for a new round of physical examinations and psychological counseling.
Without delaying for too long, Chen Zan took Lou Yan back to the ward.
Physical examination and psychological counseling took too long, so Chen Zan was sent out after sending the person into the house. It was too boring to stay there, so Chen Zan returned to the small garden alone.
Chen Zan found an empty lounge chair and sat down. He leaned back lazily and looked up at the sky. It was mint blue with a few cotton-like clouds floating in it.
She took a picture of the sky with her mobile phone, then took a picture of the surroundings, then selected a few and posted them on her Moments.
After a while, there were a lot of messages below.
He Shiyi asked her why she was in the hospital, Ji Miaomiao asked if she was sick, and even Jiang Yu, who was across the ocean, left her a message.
Chen Zan replied one by one.
The warm wind blew slowly past his ears. After replying to the message, Chen Zhan turned off his phone and closed his eyes to calm himself.
She had been busy running around for Lou Yan these days and hadn't had much rest. Even basking in the warm sun, she felt a little tired at this moment. She didn't have the strength to lift her eyelids, so she just let herself fall asleep.
An hour after waking up, she slowly opened her eyes and felt as if she was leaning against someone. Thinking it was someone else, she suddenly woke up, turned around and apologized to him, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I..."
But when she saw that the person next to her was He Jingsui, her voice stopped abruptly.
He sat beside her, leaning back lazily, a carefree smirk on his lips, his eyes fixed on her dazed and surprised face.
He chuckled and said, "Awake?"
"Why are you here?"
"I missed you." He answered casually.
"Then...how did you know I was here?"
He Jingsui raised his chin towards the phone in her hand, saying, "Friends circle."
After he reminded her, Chen Zan remembered the circle of friends she posted an hour ago. It was just a few random photos, but he was able to find this place.
Chen Zan felt a little uneasy.
Just as she was daydreaming, He Jingsui leaned towards her, his breath approaching. Chen Zhan subconsciously turned her head, and the two almost bumped into each other.
The distance is just a few inches, so close.
His mind froze for a second. There was a lot of laughter and chatter around him. Being so close to others in such a public place, Chen Zan felt a little embarrassed and shy.
She pushed him away suddenly with such determination that He Jingsui was stunned.
After reacting, He Jingsui laughed unexpectedly. He curled his lips, leaned lazily, and even crossed his legs. His eyes, brightened by the sunlight, stared at her with interest.
It's silent, but it's like a chain.
Tie her up so that she has to feel his presence.
"Are you shy?"
Chen Zan didn't answer him. She just looked around. In her sight were old people and children in hospital gowns, as well as their families accompanying them.
I don't know who I inherited this introverted and reserved personality from.
He Jing raised the corner of his lips meaningfully, lowered his legs, and with a long arm, he pulled the girl into his arms without warning. His arms restrained her and wrapped around her neck.
Startled by his sudden action, Chen Zan nestled in his arms, behaving intimately and lovingly.
So many outsiders are still here!!
Chen Zhan blushed and tried to push him away, "What are you doing, He Jingsui? We are outside!"
He Jingsui was shameless and asked her with a wicked smile, "What happened outside?"
He blew harshly at the sensitive spot near her ear. The hot air brushed against her ear, numbing it and sending a shiver through her body.
She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. "There are so many people watching, can you behave yourself..."
He Jingsui didn't care, and kissed her cheek to cheek, and even questioned her, "It's been so long since we met, don't you miss me?"
"No……"
"Then why didn't you call me?" His voice was very low, almost whispering in her ear, but very gentle, especially that low and deep "Hmm?" It seemed to reach into her heart, splashing circles of ripples.
Chen Zan really couldn't stand him like this.
The voice he spoke again was trembling, "I..."
"I..." Chen Zhan felt a little guilty, "I was too busy and forgot..."
Fearing that he would be angry, Chen Zhan quickly added, "But I am thinking about you seriously."
He Jing then let go of her, turned her body around, and leaned closer, "Really?"
"How serious?"
When I miss him, I flip through his photos in the album, flipping through every one of them, looking at them over and over again.
But she couldn't tell him the secret.
"I just... miss you," Chen Zhan said, "I wonder what you are doing now, whether you have eaten, slept, or..."
Before she could utter the three words "Thinking of me", the corner of her lips was unexpectedly kissed lightly by someone who came over.
He moved quickly when he leaned in to kiss her, stopping just enough and then pulling away.
Chen Zhan was startled and quickly raised his hand to cover his mouth. A muffled voice came out from inside, "What are you doing..."
There was doting and indulgence in the eyes that looked at her, and his eyebrows raised.
He told her calmly, as if he was sharing his ordinary life with her, "Let me tell you what I was thinking about when you missed me."
Chen Zan's cheeks felt extremely hot when he realized what he was thinking.
Who would think of these things...
Her heart started beating fast, and Chen Zhan felt that she had to stay away from him.
But just as she moved a little to the side, the person next to her caught up with her like a tracker. He wrapped his arms around her waist domineeringly and pulled her into his arms.
"Why are you so far away from me?" His warm breath brushed against her face. She held her breath as she watched him tilt his head towards her. When their lips touched again, she heard his suppressed and unbearable voice, "I haven't kissed you enough yet."
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