Chapter 75 75 “Stop pushing me away.”
He Jingsui followed through on his words and launched an aggressive pursuit of Chen Zhan. He drove her to work and picked her up after work, had lunch with her, bought her flowers, and used all the necessary tactics to pursue someone.
Even Xiao Tao couldn't help but exclaim in envy, leaning close to Chen Zhan's ear and whispering, "Sister Zhan Zhan, He Jingsui is so considerate..."
"He's been sending you flowers for a month now, and it's a different flower every day. It seems like he really likes you and wants to win you back."
Chen Zhan knew exactly what he was thinking, yet she couldn't help but be moved by him. While she was lost in the sweetness he brought her, she was constantly reminded of the thorn that stood between them, still unremoved. She couldn't face his love calmly.
During those days, she often dreamed of the rainy day five years ago. He Jinzhou's words kept replaying in her ears. It seemed like a scar that could not be opened. Just a slight touch would still leave her covered with bruises.
It was like a warning, warning her not to be so greedy and not to have any more illusions about him.
She came to her senses and began to ignore He Jingsui who was always by her side. In order to avoid him, she even planned to go on a business trip to the next city. Before leaving, Chen Zan specifically instructed Xiao Tao not to tell He Jingsui her whereabouts.
So when He Jingsui came to the studio to look for someone that day, he only pried out the two words "business trip" from Xiaotao's mouth.
"Where did she go on business?"
Xiao Tao remembered Chen Zhan's words and shook her head, pretending not to know. "Sister Zhan Zhan didn't tell me."
"How many days?"
"have no idea."
“…”
He Jingsui frowned unhappily.
"Um..." Xiao Tao stood aside, observing him carefully, "Are you okay..."
"It's okay..." Without Chen Zan here, He Jingsui no longer had any reason to stay here. He uttered the last words as he was about to leave, "I'll come back tomorrow."
"Wait." Xiao Tao called him.
He Jing stopped and turned to look at her, "What's wrong?"
His face looked really bad. Xiao Tao was even frightened when she met his cold gaze. She suddenly regretted calling him.
But under the harsh pressure of his gaze, she still spoke, "You don't have to come over these days."
"Sister Zhanzhan won't come back."
After Xiao Tao said the last word, she lowered her eyes and didn't dare to look at him, so she didn't notice the sneer on He Jingsui's lips.
I don't know if he was mocking Chen Zan's deliberate avoidance, or mocking his own active enthusiasm.
He left and his figure quickly disappeared at the studio door.
Xiao Tao breathed a sigh of relief, pressed her hand on her chest, and quickly took out her cell phone from her pocket to send a message to Chen Zan.
[Xiao Tao: Sister Zhanzhan, He Jingsui is here to see you again...]
[Xiao Tao: I told him not to come to see you these past few days. He looked so ugly and his eyes were so fierce QAQ]
Chen Zhan had gone on a business trip to the next city, partly to avoid He Jingsui, and partly because she wanted to attend a recent joint exhibition. This large-scale event brought together works by renowned artists. Immersed in this diverse art scene as a spectator, she found it a truly remarkable experience.
When she received the message from Xiaotao, she had just finished shooting a piece of work that she thought was very good.
The message just popped up.
Chen Zan was stunned for a moment, her emotions a little confused, and she did not reply to Xiaotao.
In the following days, He Jingsui still came, but just as Xiaotao said, Chen Zan did not come back.
I called her but she didn't answer, and I didn't reply to her text messages.
The whole person seemed to have evaporated into thin air.
But He Jingsui knew what she meant, she was avoiding him.
At ten o'clock in the evening, start the bar.
He Jingsui sat in the cushioned booth, holding an empty, square wine glass in his hand, which gleamed faintly in the dim light. His eyes were cold and empty, staring at a certain point in a dejected manner.
He was thinking about Chen Zan, but he couldn't understand Chen Zan.
Placing the glass on the table, he picked up a bottle of wine and poured the remaining liquid into the glass. His fingers casually climbed up the glass, brought it to his lips, and drank it all.
The bar was filled with the sound of loud music, but the air within a few miles of him, where he was alone, was so cold that it was almost freezing to death.
He drank one glass after another without stopping, as if he had forgotten the time, and he didn't even pay attention to the eager and lustful glances cast at him by those around him.
"No way, what's wrong with you?" When Jiang Qiannan arrived, he had already drunk most of the wine on the table. He glanced at the empty bottles scattered all over the table, and turned to look at him with some dismay.
The man in the booth was lazily lying there, the dim light falling on his face, vaguely outlining the contours of his eyebrows and eyes, so cold that only mockery remained.
He twitched the corners of his lips slightly.
Seeing that he looked unpopular, Jiang Qiannan simply ignored him and sat down next to him. He picked up the clean wine glass on the table, poured himself a glass of wine, and drank it slowly.
"She ran away." Until He Jingsui suddenly spoke again.
Just as he was about to bring the wine to his lips, Jiang Qiannan paused and subconsciously turned his head to ask, "Who ran away?"
Only after asking did he realize that He Jingsui was talking about Chen Zan.
“…”
Jiang Qiannan finally drank the glass of wine in one gulp. He placed the empty glass on the table, then turned and asked He Jingsui, "Didn't you catch up?"
This is tantamount to rubbing salt into He Jingsui's wounds.
He glanced at me coldly.
Jiang Qiannan smiled and teased him slowly, "He Jingsui, I never thought you would see this day."
"how?"
"Are you envious?"
Jiang Qiannan laughed heartily, "I'm not envious."
"My wife is hard to chase." He Jingsui sat up straight, poured himself a drink, and said listlessly, "You know that."
"You haven't even caught up with the guy yet, but your wife is calling you already," Jiang Qiannan teased him unscrupulously, "He Jingsui, do you still have any shame?"
"Can't you just satisfy your craving for something?"
Jiang Qiannan gave him a thumbs up and said, "You are awesome."
“…”
Jiang Qiannan accompanied He Jingsui in drinking.
Halfway through drinking, He Jing nudged Jiang Qiannan with his leg.
Jiang Qiannan turned his head and looked at him.
Just when I was about to ask him what was wrong, I saw He Jingsui frown slightly in the dim light and shadow.
"Help me think of a solution."
"What?"
"Chase someone." He Jing turned his head to look at Jiang Qiannan, who was in a daze. His face was almost broken as he gritted his teeth and said these two words.
Jiang Qiannan never thought that he was so powerless. Who would believe it if he told others that the talented shooter and world champion of Beijing Sports University would step down from his pedestal for a woman and be willing to crawl under her skirt and become her slave.
"He Jingsui, you are beyond help."
He Jing then raised his head and drank the wine. Amidst the lights and the feasting, he thought of Chen Zan's face.
He pulled the corners of his lips helplessly and admitted it with some self-mockery.
"There's no hope."
…
Chen Zan returned from City A a week later and brought a gift for Xiaotao.
Xiao Tao took it with joy in her eyes and said thank you to her in a cheerful voice, "Sister Zhanzhan, I love it so much!"
The little girl has curved eyes when she smiles, and she is very popular.
"As long as you like it."
Xiaotao has been managing the studio these days since Chen Zan left. When she came back, Xiaotao reported to her about the daily work in the studio.
"Some buyers have come to inquire about ordering paintings these days. I've recorded their personal information. Sister Zhanzhan, if you're free these days, you can communicate with them." Xiaotao said, "Online sales are also pretty good, and some buyers have come to inquire about prices."
"Yeah," Chen Zan nodded and subconsciously asked, "Anything else?"
Xiao Tao shook her head, "No, everything is running well."
"What about him..."
Chen Zhan regretted it the moment he said this, because Xiao Tao had already noticed, "Him?"
“Who is it…?”
It took Xiao Tao a long time to react, and then she suddenly realized, "Oh - Sister Zhanzhan, are you talking about He Jingsui?"
Chen Zhan avoided her gaze, knowing full well that he couldn't hide it, so he had to admit, "Yeah..."
"He... probably doesn't come here often, right?"
Xiao Tao said, "He came here often during the first two days after you left. Later, I asked him not to come, but he still came. But I think he didn't come yesterday..."
Xiao Tao tried to recall, "I think he really didn't come yesterday. I guess he believed what I said, that's why he didn't come unless you were here."
She didn't know why, but after hearing Xiaotao say this, she didn't feel happy at all. Instead, she felt a lot more empty.
She was a little dazed.
"Sister Zhanzhan?" Until Xiaotao's voice sounded again.
Chen Zhan's eyelashes trembled, "Hmm..."
"He Jingsui is pursuing you so relentlessly, aren't you moved?"
How can I not be moved?
Chen Zan lowered his gaze, his long eyelashes covering the strong emotions surging in his eyes.
The slightly curled fingertips were the best proof that her mind was relaxed.
Xiao Tao said: "I think he really cares about you, and he is so handsome..."
From Xiaotao's words, Chen Zan probably knew that He Jingsui must have given up on her. This was also good. He didn't have to keep thinking about himself and their past, and he could finally embrace his new life.
But she was still very sad.
Chen Zan curled up in the quilt. She looked at the many messages he sent on the screen of her mobile phone and couldn't help but tear up.
The voice was sad, "He Jingsui, goodbye."
In the days that followed, just as Xiaotao said, He Jingsui never came to Chen Zan's studio again, never sent her flowers again, and never had lunch with her.
Things happened so quickly, the change seemed to happen in an instant, and Chen Zhan was having trouble adapting. This extreme sense of disparity made her feel unwell. One night, a digestive disorder caused a stomachache. She dragged her uncomfortable body to see a doctor alone, and then dragged her uncomfortable body back home to rest.
She stayed at home during those days.
Xiao Tao was worried about her health and wanted to come and take care of her, but Chen Zhan refused. In a weak voice, she said to Xiao Tao, "I'm fine, Xiao Tao. I've taken the medicine prescribed by the doctor and I'm much better now. You don't have to come and take care of me."
"That's good, Sister Zhanzhan, you must rest well at home." Xiao Tao was very worried, but said to her firmly: "Don't worry, I'm here at the studio, nothing will go wrong, just recuperate at home and don't think about anything."
"I know." Chen Zhan smiled and curled his lips, his voice very gentle.
The two chatted for a few sentences and then stopped talking. Chen Zhan hung up the phone. Her face was pale and bloodless. She pursed her dry lips, curled up into a ball, slowly closed her eyes, and fell asleep.
After taking the medicine, she fell into a deep sleep.
I even dreamed of He Jingsui again. I dreamed that they were still together, hugging and kissing passionately, loving each other unrestrainedly.
A tear rolled down the corner of her eye, and she really hoped she would never wake up from this dream.
…
He Jingsui hadn't been to Chen Zhan's studio in days, nor had he texted or called her. Every day was hard for him, but Jiang Qiannan told him that perseverance was necessary when pursuing someone.
He couldn't get any information about her, and calling He Shiyi was also fruitless.
"I've been visiting my parents recently and have been incredibly busy." Being in a foreign country, He Shiyi was speechless at his brother's frantic phone call. "Why don't you just call her directly?"
"Hasn't he caught up yet?"
Jiang Qiannan told her this. She knew that He Jingsui was pursuing Chen Zan, but not only did he fail to catch her, but she also ran away.
He Shiyi almost laughed to death at that time.
He Jingsui's acquiescence at this moment also became a good opportunity for her to make fun of him, "No way, brother, how did you end up like this now?"
Her voice was slightly teasing. "You used to be able to do it just by snagging your fingers. Why doesn't it work now?"
“…”
After being teased by Jiang Qiannan and then by He Shiyi, He Jingsui's face was completely shattered.
Ignoring her, He Jingsui said in a tense voice, "Alright, that's all for you. I'm hanging up."
Without waiting for He Shiyi to say anything, He Jingsui hung up the phone. He sighed heavily, threw his phone casually on the sofa, and sat down.
He leaned lazily with his arms outstretched, his head slightly raised to look at the ceiling, his jaw sharp and his Adam's apple rolling.
He felt that he could no longer endure this hopeless waiting.
He grabbed the phone and was about to call her when an unfamiliar number popped up.
Local number.
He Jing didn't recognize him.
The phone rang for a long time without hanging up.
He Jingsui subconsciously clicked to answer the call, put it to his ear, and said "Hello" lazily.
The next second, a familiar voice was heard.
He Jingsui froze in his tracks.
The person who called He Jingsui was Tao Ling, and He Jingsui never expected it to be her.
The voice was cold, "How did you find my phone number?"
"I used my connections to find him," Tao Ling said urgently, seemingly not wanting to discuss this with him. "A Sui, I called you to tell you something."
"Your father is sick, he has terminal cancer, and he doesn't have many months left to live..." Her voice went from steady to trembling, even pleading, "Can you... come and see him..."
A moment of shock flashed through his mind, then he regained his composure and sneered coldly, "Why should I go to see him?"
"This is your family's business, what does it have to do with me?"
Every cold word pierced Tao Ling's heart on the phone. She couldn't help sobbing softly, "A Sui, I know you still blame your father and me. When your mother was seriously ill, we didn't consider your mother's feelings and yours. I'm sorry..."
Ye Qingfei's death will always be a knot in his heart, and he couldn't bear it even when Tao Ling mentioned it lightly.
The fingers gripping the phone tightened uncontrollably. He Jingsui's dark eyes were cold, and he spoke through gritted teeth, "You have no right to mention my mother."
"But your father..."
"Is he worthy of being a father?!" He Jingsui hysterically yelled at the person on the other end of the phone: "He is no longer my father. He stopped being one the day my mother passed away!"
"He already knows he was wrong..." Tao Ling cried and said, "Over the years, he has always regretted not caring about you a little more. He even regretted that little girl who kept pestering you. If he hadn't chased her away..."
"What did you say?" He Jingsui said in a serious tone, "Who are you chasing away?"
Tao Ling thought He Jingsui knew about this.
She kindly reminded him, "That little girl five years ago, your dad was afraid she would become a stumbling block in your life, so he talked to her one afternoon. It was that little girl who initiated your breakup. Have you forgotten all that?"
The three words "stumbling block" hit his heart like a dull hammer. His memory went back to him, and he remembered Chen Zhan's red eyes crying in the rain that day, and also remembered her words.
"I don't want to be a stumbling block in your life."
Is that why she had to break up with me?
Such severe pain came from the deepest part of his heart. He raised his hand to cover his chest, and his cold eyes turned wet and red.
He probably understood why Chen Zhan had been so resolute. After all the twists and turns, the answer was actually because of him. She was afraid of becoming a stumbling block in his life, afraid of blocking his way, so she said she felt guilty, and that's why she said she would rather not have him.
A complex sense of guilt filled my heart.
At that moment, he curled his lips slightly, feeling a little ridiculous.
Why do you know it now?
Five years.
They misunderstood each other for five years.
It's really funny.
Why was he so stupid? Why did he let her walk alone and feel guilty for five years?
How miserable her life must have been during these five years.
His heart was torn with pain. He could no longer hear any voice from Tao Ling. He hung up the phone, got up and ran out with his phone.
His desire to see her reached its peak, and he even forgot to drive.
He ran to Chen Zan's studio sweating profusely. He didn't care about anything else and walked in as if forcing his way through, looking for someone in each room.
Xiaotao couldn't stop him.
"He Jingsui, you don't have to look for her anymore!" Xiao Tao said, "Sister Zhanzhan is not here!"
"Then where is she?" He suppressed his emotions, turned his head, and looked at Xiaotao with red and cold eyes.
Xiaotao was frightened by his appearance.
"say!"
The intensity of his voice caught Xiao Tao completely off guard. Her shoulders trembled violently, and her voice trembled slightly: "She...she has been sick recently and is resting at home...I..."
Before he could finish his words, Xiao Tao watched him turn around and leave with big strides, afraid of wasting even a second.
It took Xiao Tao a long time to come back to her senses. She could no longer see He Jingsui. She took out her cell phone from her pocket and quickly called Chen Zan. The phone rang for a long time but no one answered.
"Hello, the number you dialed is currently unanswered. Please call again later..."
Xiao Tao was a little anxious and called again and again, but got the same answer.
Chen Zhan had been recuperating at home these days, and her health was almost recovered. She took a moment to think, turned her head and looked out the window. The weather was fine, and it was a good day for a walk.
Chen Zhan planned to go out for a walk and come back, and also go downstairs to throw away the trash. Since she would not be out for long, she did not plan to bring her cell phone with her. There was no point in bringing a cell phone anyway because no one would call her.
Thinking so, Chen Zan did it. She went downstairs to the garbage sorting area opposite the community to throw away the garbage. She did not go home immediately, so she missed He Jingsui who came to her house to look for her.
He Jingsui hurried to her door.
Knock on the door.
No one answered.
He knocked again.
Still no one answered.
He Jing then called her, but the voice on the other end was the same as Xiao Tao's: "Hello, the number you dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later..."
He dialed again and again, and the cold voice came again and again.
until--
What Xiaotao said to him suddenly flashed through his mind.
"She's been sick lately and resting at home..."
Get ill.
He suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Chen Zan!" He knocked on the door quickly.
"Chen Zhan!"
Afraid that something might happen to her, He Jingsui was extremely anxious. At that moment, he ignored everything else and pressed the password of the door lock with his fingers, quickly pressing the numeric keypad on it.
His birthday.
0820.
“Beep—”
The door opened.
He strode in, his eyes wandering through her cozy living room. He walked around the entrance and pushed the doors of other rooms except the living room.
There are two rooms in total, one is her bedroom and the other is the room where she displays her paintings.
There was no one in the bedroom.
He Jing then walked straight to the room next door, put his fingers on the door handle and turned it without any hesitation. He pushed the door open and walked in.
Then, he was stunned by the scene before him. It was a spacious room, but it was filled with his self-portraits, all standing on easels, vivid and lifelike.
The one in the middle is very large, but it is covered by a white cloth.
He walked over slowly, raised his hand, and lifted the white cloth amid the deafening sound of his heartbeat.
Brilliant colors appeared in his eyes, it was the scene he was most familiar with.
At the concert of their sophomore year, they looked at each other in a swaying sea of fluorescent lights. The moment their eyes met, their heartbeats resonated with each other, colorful ribbons fell from above their heads, and she was held firmly in his arms.
That's where his heart beats.
This is no longer the room where she keeps her paintings, but the place where she has hidden her love since she returned to China.
It turns out they are still there.
He found all her love for him.
He Jingsui chuckled, and his relaxed brows revealed deep heartache and growing love.
“Beep—”
He heard a noise at the door outside.
"Bang." Then came the sound of the door closing.
Chen Zan is back.
His steps were no longer under control and he walked outside.
The moment she saw He Jingsui in her own home, Chen Zan was so surprised that she couldn't even ask, "Why are you in my house?"
He Jing then strode towards her and pulled her into his arms.
The familiar scent of him filled her nose.
Chen Zan's heart was pounding and he subconsciously wanted to push him away.
But he hugged her even tighter.
"He Jingsui..."
"sorry……"
Their voices overlapped.
Chen Zhan was stunned when he heard his words.
"Chen Zhan, I'm sorry." He hugged her distressedly, his voice seemed to be stuck in his throat, and every word he said was like a knife twisting his heart. "You didn't block my way, and you have never been a stumbling block to me."
"Why did you listen to He Jinzhou? Why didn't you tell me..." He Jingsui told her, "I didn't give up that opportunity because of you. It was my own choice."
The old wound that was frozen in her heart was exposed in his eyes.
Chen Zan felt a sour taste in her nose, and the sadness that had accumulated in her heart for five years collapsed at this moment. She sobbed softly in He Jingsui's arms, and her sad and aggrieved cries filled He Jingsui's heart, growing with green moss that was difficult to remove.
"Don't cry," He Jingsui's eyes were also red. He kissed the top of her head and coaxed her in a low and hoarse voice, "Don't cry..."
Chen Zhan raised his hands and hugged him tightly.
For five years, she had only hugged him like this in her dreams.
"He Jingsui," her voice was sobbing and intermittent, "He Jingsui..."
He Jing then held her shoulders and pushed her out of his arms. He raised his hands to hold her face, and gently wiped the moisture from her cheeks with his fingers.
The corners of his eyes were red, but he curled his lips in surprise, "I saw it all. So many paintings, and they're all of me."
"Chen Zhan, tell me the truth, you still like me, right?"
Chen Zhan looked at the man so close to her, her eyes blurred with tears, and his face became blurry. She choked with sobs and said, "He Jingsui, I love you..."
"Even if your father wants to erase you from my world, I still love you so much."
"Then from now on," he kissed me all over, his breath hot, "don't push me away again."
-----------------------
The author has something to say: I cried but there is no TVT
There is a very small detail in this chapter! I wonder if you still remember the portrait of Asui that Zhanzhan placed at home at the beginning of the reunion chapter. When I wrote that scene, it was for today, when Asui would discover by himself the many loves that Zhanzhan had secretly hidden.
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