Chapter 77 77 "Every day after your punishment will be worse than today..."
Let’s go back five years.
No one knew that He Jingsui secretly went to the airport to see Chen Zan off. The airport was full of people, so he didn't go in. Instead, he leaned against a corner of the wall outside the airport.
People coming and going were all in a hurry, and those lightless eyes glanced at them indifferently.
He knew that Chen Zan had already arrived at the airport with Jiang Yu.
The phone in his pocket kept buzzing. It was a message from He Shiyi.
He Shiyi: Brother, why haven't you come yet? Zhanzhan is leaving soon.
[He Shiyi: Are you really not going to come and see her? ]
[He Shiyi: Zhanzhan is really leaving, brother——]
He Shiyi: I know you still like her. Brother, please hurry up! We're boarding soon.
He Jingsui glanced at the messages that bombarded He Shiyi one by one, and curled the corners of his lips slightly. He did not reply to He Shiyi's message, but turned off the phone and put it back in his pocket.
Soon, the plane took off with a roar and left a long trail of white smoke in the blue sky.
With red eyes, he looked up at the plane for a long, long time, until the exhaust gas dissipated, and then he realized that the person had really left him.
The moment he lowered his eyes, he shed a tear in embarrassment, which dripped hotly onto the back of his hand, so heartbreaking and so unforgettable.
He remembered their quarrel and the girl's red eyes on that rainy day.
His heart felt like it was about to explode. He took a deep breath, raised his hands to cover his red eyes, and endured the torture alone.
But how could he know that at the same time at the airport, someone was suffering the same chronic torture as him.
During those days, He Jingsui's life was completely inhuman. He decadently immersed himself in alcohol, ambiguous lights and shadows flickering charmingly in his eyes. The vibrant figures on the dance floor danced rhythmically, and the DJ on the stage swayed recklessly to the music. It should have been a bustling world, but in his cold eyes, it was cold and lonely.
He brought cup after cup of liquor to his lips. He seemed to have lost his soul, his lightless eyes staring blankly at a certain place in front of him, with only the single action of drinking left in his mind.
"The blush appears upon her skin like an autumn sky."
[An autumn blush appeared on her face.]
"When I tell her that our love is like a wish I once had."
[When I told her, our love was just like my youthful dreams.]
"A lonely world that makes me turn away from it all."
[A lonely world, where I can get away from it all.]
"She reaches out and takes my hand and makes it all gold."
[She reaches out and squeezes my hand, turning everything into gold.]
"My love has fallen like a winter snow."
[My love falls like a winter snow.]
"It covers all and brings me home."
[It covers everything and brings me home.]
The music with a restless rhythm was replaced by a hoarse and sad song, and the hand holding the wine glass suddenly stopped.
“Somewhere in your eyes.”
[Somewhere in your eyes]
“A better world.”
[It's a better world]
“A better life.”
[A happier life]
“Somewhere in your eyes”
[Somewhere in your eyes]
"Oh I was wrong but turned out right."
[Oh, wrong cause but right result]
He suddenly recalled the tender time when they were cuddling each other. That gentle smiling face and the brisk and sweet voice calling him "A Sui" all rushed into his mind, circling vividly.
She said this was his favorite song because it was the first song they listened to together.
"He Jingsui, do you still remember this song?" He remembered the girl who had nestled in his arms, her face flushed as she said to him, "This is the first song we listened to together."
That voice, breaking through thousands of layers of restraints from the depths of his memory, rang in his ears again.
He pulled the corners of his lips stiffly and chuckled, his eyes burning red with such self-deprecating tone.
He raised his head and drank the wine in the glass in one gulp.
Wrong cause, right result.
So what about them? Were they right or wrong to have come to this point?
He Jingsui drank too much and passed out. His cheeks and neck were red. Empty wine bottles of all kinds were scattered all over the table.
Jiang Qiannan rushed over to arrest the man, but he felt disappointed when he saw the table. Then he saw the man leaning against the sofa half-dead, and he was immediately filled with anger.
He frowned and strode over, reaching out to grab his collar and pull it up, "He Jingsui, can you please stop being crazy! Look at yourself now, do you still look like a human being?!"
"It's just a fucking breakup! You've been apart for over a year, why are you still obsessed with her?! She's gone now! She's already abandoned you!" Jiang Qiannan yelled at him, "Wake up!"
A life of sensual pleasures, bright lights and wine.
He seemed paralyzed by alcohol.
In such a dim light, Jiang Qiannan saw tears sliding down the corners of his eyes.
The hand that was holding his collar paused, and he let go. He Jing then fell back into the sofa as if he had no bones.
Jiang Qiannan knew that he was very sad now.
The words of comfort were on the tip of his tongue, but seeing him like this, Jiang Qiannan didn't know how to say it.
He sat down next to him.
The sad song was still going on. Jiang Qiannan turned his head to look at the person next to him. He knew that he was drunk, so that was why he was so emotional.
"A Sui..."
"Jiang Qiannan, do you think I'm ridiculous..."
That self-deprecating tone made people's hearts clench. Jiang Qiannan tried to comfort him, "A Sui, don't think about her..."
"This matter is over."
"Then why is it that we've been apart for a year..." He Jingsui chuckled and said, "I still haven't gone..."
Liking her seemed to have become a long-term habit for him.
He tried to quit smoking for a year, but still failed.
"Here..." He said, while raising his hand and pointing to his heart to Jiang Qiannan, his voice choked in his throat, "It will never get better..."
He drank a lot of alcohol and was unconscious. Jiang Qiannan dragged him out of the bar, but before he walked too far, he squatted in the corner and started vomiting.
His face was as red as if he had a high fever, and his limbs were weak. It was impossible for him to go back to school in this state. Jiang Qiannan took great pains to get him to a nearby hotel, booked a room for him, and took care of him all night.
Chen Zan's refusal and departure were undoubtedly the final straw that broke He Jingsui's back. From then on, He Jingsui never smiled again. He locked himself in the training room and trained day and night, seemingly unable to feel tired, or as if he was deliberately punishing himself. The intensity gradually overloaded his body.
"If the coach and I hadn't discovered it in time, Asui might have..."
Perhaps thinking of the torment he had gone through during that period, Jiang Qiannan couldn't bear to mention it again.
But this was the first time Chen Zan heard this, and he felt so much pain in his heart that he could hardly bear it.
There was a hazy warmth in her eyes, and tears were about to fall around her eye sockets.
She didn't know that the breakup that year would cause him so much pain.
"Chen Zan, he is serious about you." Jiang Qiannan told her, "He really likes you."
"During that incident, you both had some misunderstandings about each other, but now that the misunderstandings have been resolved, I hope you can be with him well."
"Don't hurt him anymore..."
After finishing her chat with Jiang Qiannan, Chen Zan returned to the box. She sat obediently next to He Jingsui and did not go to He Shiyi to sing again.
Feeling a weight on his shoulder, He Jing turned to look at her. The next second, Chen Zhan's hand suddenly reached out and joined his hand again.
As intimate as fingers intertwined.
He Jingsui liked how much she relied on him, so he curled the corners of his lips and pinched her fingertips.
His voice, soaked in wine, was low and hoarse, with a lingering tenderness, "What's wrong?"
"Are you sleepy?"
Chen Zan was still thinking about what Jiang Qiannan had said to her, and felt a little sad.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly and she shook her head sullenly.
He Jingsui noticed that she was not in high spirits and was probably a little tired.
It's indeed a little too late.
So He Jing stopped He Shiyi and ended the party.
Jiang Qiannan had been drinking and couldn't drive, so He Shiyi offered to be his driver and take him home. Before leaving, He Shiyi looked at He Jingsui and said, "Brother, what about you and Zhanzhan? Do you need me to call a designated driver for you?"
"No need." He Jing waved his hand and sent them away.
He Shiyi supported Jiang Qiannan and said goodbye to He Jingsui, who was still sitting on the sofa. "Then we will leave first. You and Zhanzhan go home and be careful."
The two chattering people left, and only he and Chen Zan were left in the box.
The karaoke music was also paused, leaving only a dim neon-like light in the room.
There was no sound at all.
They were trapped in this small space, very quiet.
She didn't say anything, so he held her in his arms and stayed with her quietly.
The broad and warm palm gently patted her slender back.
The girl in his arms suddenly looked up at him, "He Jingsui..."
"Hmm?" He Jingsui lowered his gaze and met hers. "What's wrong?"
"Have you had a hard time during these years since we broke up?"
"Why did you bring this up suddenly?" Although He Jingsui was surprised by the topic she brought up, he still answered patiently: "No, don't think too much."
As soon as he finished speaking, the tears in Chen Zan's eyes fell as if he could no longer hold them back.
A few drops of warm liquid fell into his palm.
He Jing then let go of her hand and held her face distressedly, "Why are you crying?"
The tears kept falling, and He Jingsui couldn't wipe them away.
Chen Zhan choked up a little, "He Jingsui, you lied to me."
"You're obviously not doing well at all."
That aggrieved voice was like a big hand tightly gripping He Jingsui's heart.
Rather than recalling the torment of those years, he seemed to care more about the tears falling from Chen Zan's eyes at this moment.
He didn't have time to think about the past. He just wanted to comfort the sad person in front of him and wiped her tears with his fingers, "Don't cry, Zhanzhan..."
"I'm really fine." He Jingsui comforted her, "It's all over."
Chen Zan came forward sadly and hugged him, rubbing her crying little face into his neck. She hugged his neck tightly and cried loudly in his arms.
She cried for why He Jingsui hadn't been nicer to her all these years, and she cried for why He Jingsui still loved her so much even after they broke up.
She had never received such love before. No matter how time passed, it still lasted forever.
It's like a spring breeze that brings new life, or like a spark that can start a prairie fire.
He Jing then hugged the girl's waist, patted her back gently, and coaxed her softly, "Chen Zhan, those things five years ago are over. Don't think about it anymore. As long as we are still together, that's enough."
"That's really enough, Zhanzhan..."
The arm around her waist tightened, and He Jingsui tilted his head slightly, kissing her hair and her earlobes tenderly.
But Chen Zhan felt that it was not enough and they had wasted five years.
She let go of him, cupped his cheeks with both hands, and traced his eyebrows, his nose, and his lips with her slender fingers.
With tears still in the corners of her eyes, she looked at him with such sad eyes.
"But I'm still so sad."
The look on his girl's face when she loved him was still as beautiful as ever. He Jingsui suddenly smiled, and put his hands around her neck, pulling her closer to him.
At a close distance.
He leaned forward slightly and nuzzled her nose affectionately.
"Then I will punish you by making you love me more every day than you do today."
The warm, alcoholic breath wafted lightly on her face, and in the dim light, she could see the pair of dark eyes filled with love in front of her.
Curved lips.
She took the initiative to move forward and kissed him on the lips.
She said, "Okay."
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