Chapter 72 72 “It’s enough that I like him.”
He Jingsui didn't stay there for long, and left without even drinking the water he said he wanted to drink.
The door opened and closed, and silence fell in the room. However, Chen Zan's heart was beating wildly because of He Jingsui's words. She raised her hand to press her not-so-calm chest, dragged her feet to the sofa and sat down.
Her heart was beating frantically, the dull throbbing feeling threatening to break down the high walls she had built. Chen Zhan poured herself a glass of water and gulped it down, trying to soothe her nervousness and heartbeat in this way, but in the end, she realized it was all in vain.
When she met He Jingsui, she really had no way to deal with it.
The cooperation with Lin Shan went smoothly. Chen Zan drew two drafts and sent them to her, which received her satisfactory approval.
Their collaboration ended in August, and just two days later, it was Mid-Autumn Festival, a time for family reunions. Jiang Yu made a special visit to her studio that day and asked her if she wanted to go home to see Lou Yan during the Mid-Autumn Festival.
Chen Zan hasn't been back home for so long. Lou Yan has called her several times, but Chen Zan always turned her down on the grounds of being busy with work.
In fact, she didn't know how to face Lou Yan. She was partly responsible for her breakup with He Jingsui five years ago. What's more, he said some very unpleasant things to her when she decided to go abroad.
The five years of blank space in between were too difficult to repair. Sometimes, Chen Zan even didn't know how to get along with her.
But...it's time to go back.
Chen Zan nodded and said yes.
"Then I'll pick you up downstairs at your house?" Jiang Yu said, "Let's go back together."
"good."
That’s how it’s settled.
On the Mid-Autumn Festival, Chen Zan took Jiang Yu's car to Jiang's house.
This year's Mid-Autumn Festival was celebrated together. Jiang's mother went to Lou Yan's house early in the morning to pick her up. Ever since her divorce from Chen Jinnian, the family had become increasingly quiet. Add to that the conflict between mother and daughter, and Chen Zhan's decision to study abroad. Lou Yan lived alone in this spacious house, like an empty-nest elderly person, feeling lonely and desolate.
Jiang's mother felt sorry for her and often came to accompany her during the days after Chen Zhan left, but even so, Lou Yan rarely smiled again. It wasn't until this year, when they learned from Jiang Yu that Chen Zhan had returned to China, that Lou Yan's face began to show those subtle fluctuations of emotion.
Before the person arrived, Lou Yan, who was sitting in the living room, couldn't help but look forward to Chen Zan's arrival.
Jiang's mother laughed at her, "You have really changed a lot. I have never seen you with such an expression when Zhanzhan came home from school before. Now you know you regret it."
I really regret it.
Lou Yan's expression was gloomy. He turned to look at Jiang's mother and asked her cautiously, "Do you think she will be unhappy to see me?"
"Zhanzhan is your daughter. How can a daughter not be happy to see her mother?"
"But I used to..." She knew Chen Zan's character too well, and she also knew too well that she shouldn't have forced her like that five years ago. But at that time, all the problems piled up on her, making it hard for her to breathe.
If she hadn't lost her temper at the time and had calmly sat down and had a good talk with her, perhaps the situation between mother and daughter wouldn't have reached this point.
But when she realized this, it was too late.
Chen Jinnian left her, and Chen Zhan also left.
She is alone, with no one.
Jiang's mother knew too well what she was worried about. In the past few years, Chen Zan had been suffering, but Lou Yan had not felt much better either. As a bystander, she watched helplessly but could not help at all.
"Don't worry, A'yan," Jiang's mother took Lou Yan's hand distressedly and curled the corners of her lips. "It's been five years since that happened. It's been so long that everyone has let it go. Don't worry."
"Zhanzhan is your daughter after all, and you two are a family."
Her gentle voice gradually soothed the uneasiness in Lou Yan's heart.
Lou Yan relaxed and nodded to her.
Chen Zan was actually not in a much better condition. She sat in the car without saying a word, with the window half open. The swift wind blew against her face, but it could not drive away the panic in her heart.
The fingers on her knees were so tight that they turned red. Jiang Yu, who was driving, just glanced at her and moved away. He didn't remind her until the car was parked steadily at the door.
Chen Zan hurriedly clenched his fingers into a fist.
Jiang Yu smiled lightly and asked her, "Zhanzhan, are you a little nervous?"
"No……"
Seeing her stubbornness, Jiang Yu didn't say anything more. He unlocked the car door and reminded her to get out. "Okay, then I'll assume you're not nervous and get out."
The car door opened with a click.
Chen Zan turned his head and saw that the man in the driver's seat had already opened the car door and got out.
Unable to delay any longer, Chen Zhan had no choice but to unbuckle his seat belt and reluctantly went to open the car door, but before he could put his hand on it, the door was opened from the outside.
“…”
When his eyes met Jiang Yu's, Chen Zan saw his gentle features.
She got out of the car and he closed the door and locked it.
"Let's go."
The two walked in one after the other, entered the entrance hall and the living room. Jiang Yu saw the beautiful woman on the sofa in the living room and called out "Mom".
Jiang's mother looked up when she heard the voice, and Lou Yan followed closely behind. She saw the woman next to Jiang Yu at a glance. Five years had allowed her to shed her immaturity and youthfulness, and was wrapped in layers of maturity. A touch of emotion flashed in her eyes, and the longing for someone she hadn't seen for a long time reached its peak at this moment, condensing into mist and covering her eyes.
"You're back—" Jiang's mother happily went to meet him. As she walked over there, she subconsciously glanced at Lou Yan beside her, but quickly looked away and smiled, "You must be tired on the way, Xiaoyu."
Jiang Yu curved his lips and shook his head.
Chen Zan followed behind him, and when Jiang's mother looked at her, she curved her lips and called out "Aunt Jiang".
Like Lou Yan, Jiang's mother rarely saw Chen Zan. Five years had made this little girl more intellectual and gentle, giving people a brand new feeling in both her temperament and appearance.
"Zhanzhan." Mother Jiang took her hand, a smile in her eyes. "I haven't seen you for a long time. You haven't come to see Aunt Jiang since you came back."
Although his words were full of criticism, his tone was joyful.
"I've been so busy with work since returning to China. There are so many things I need to handle personally, and I haven't found the right time. I'm sorry, Aunt Jiang."
Jiang's mother felt that her apology was a little inappropriate, so she quickly stopped her. "You are such a jerk, kid! You're still saying sorry to me? It's good for you young people to be busy with work."
"It's your mother," she suddenly leaned over and whispered, "Your mother has been talking about you to me for a long time, Zhanzhan, your mother misses you very much..."
These words made Chen Zan subconsciously turn his head to look at Lou Yan who was sitting on the sofa over there.
In the past five years, Lou Yan has changed a lot. She is no longer as capable and serious as before, but seems more lonely. It has been so long since I last saw her. She seems a little different from what I remembered. When Chen Zan saw her again in this scene, he felt as if he had been in another world.
"Come over here quickly..." Jiang's mother gently nudged her arm and gestured to her, "Come over here and talk to Mommy."
"Go ahead, Zhanzhan." Lian Jiangyu also said so.
Chen Zan walked over, stood in front of her, and called out "Mom" in a light voice.
That familiar voice finally did not fall into her ears through electricity. Bitterness spread infinitely in her heart, and there were thin tears in Lou Yan's eyes.
She curled the corners of her lips, finally holding back the surging emotions, patted the empty seat next to her, and said to her, "Sit down."
Chen Zhan also smiled and said, "Okay."
She sat next to Lou Yan, but just sat there.
They didn't have much to say to each other. Their relationship, which should have been close, had become cold and distant. Fortunately, the cold atmosphere between them didn't last long, as Jiang's mother broke it with one topic after another.
Jiang's mother asked Chen Zan about his recent situation, and Chen Zan answered all the questions seriously.
"I heard from Xiaoyu that you, Zhanzhan, are holding an art exhibition in Beijing?"
Chen Zhan smiled and nodded, "Yes, I did hold one after returning home."
"She's really outstanding," Jiang's mother praised her, and also pulled Lou Yan beside her, "Ah Yan, can you see that? Your daughter has always been so outstanding. What did I say? You are destined to enjoy a life of happiness in this life."
Lou Yan agreed, "I know she's excellent."
"She has been excellent since she was a child."
This made Jiang's mother envious, and she joked with her, "Zhanzhan is so good, I really want her to be my daughter."
"Your Xiaoyu is also very outstanding." The topic became more relaxed and open as the conversation went on. "Having a good son is not the same as having a good daughter."
"How can it be the same?"
Jiang's mother responded like this, and then suddenly thought of something, and asked Chen Zhan with a smile, "Zhan Zhan, you've been back for so long, do you have any plans to fall in love?"
These words made the three people present stunned.
Chen Zhan pulled the corners of his lips stiffly under the gazes of Lou Yan and Jiang Yu, "Aunt Jiang, why do you ask that?"
"I'm just worried about my kid," Jiang's mother stated her purpose directly, saying to Chen Zhan, "Look at you two, you grew up together and know each other well. You're both talented and beautiful, and both of you are so outstanding and equally capable. Our families know each other, so it's perfect for you to get in touch and fall in love."
Chen Zan didn't expect that Jiang's mother wanted to say this.
She knew she meant well, but Chen Zhan couldn't help but follow her heart. She declined, "Aunt Jiang, thank you for thinking of me, but I don't have any plans to fall in love right now."
Jiang's mother also knew a little about the boy Chen Zhan had liked before, but she could understand. However, she still advised Chen Zhan, "It's okay for you two to get to know each other more..."
"No..." She had intended to tell her directly that Jiang Yu was always just a brother in her heart, and she had never considered him as someone who could develop a romantic relationship.
But just as she opened her mouth, Jiang Yu interrupted her, "Mom, Zhanzhan is just starting her career now, how can she have extra time for a relationship?"
He smiled and said, "Don't get involved."
But he did not reject Jiang's mother's verbal proposal.
Chen Zhan lowered his eyes, not knowing what to say.
The two families had a pleasant dinner together. After dinner, Chen Zhan sent Lou Yan home. However, she did not want to stay at home.
"Zhanzhan," Lou Yan couldn't help but call her, "Are you really not going to stay at home for one night..."
Under the warm light, Lou Yan's eyebrows and eyes were clearly reflected. After taking off the old-fashioned and serious coat, she finally exposed her most gentle core.
But it all seems a little late.
Chen Zhan subconsciously wanted to refuse, "No, Mom, I have some things to go back for."
For Lou Yan, this sentence was just an excuse for her to leave, and she didn't believe it.
This is her home, just the two of them. Those words of regret from the bottom of her heart have been suppressed in her heart for two years. Lou Yan looked at Chen Zan with apology and regret in her eyes.
"I know you still blame me in your heart for stopping you from dating that boy, but Mom..."
"Okay, stop talking," Chen Zhan interrupted her in time, "These are all things of the past. I don't want to hear about them."
In fact, she didn't go there at all.
Lou Yan looked at her frail figure, a trace of heartache rising in her heart. She regretted her resolute pressure, regretted that she could not bear the slightest emotion, and when she saw the intimate photo of Chen Zhan and that boy, she presumptuously thought that her Zhan Zhan would also be taken away by someone else.
She had already lost Chen Jinnian, and she didn't want to lose her daughter again.
But in the end she still lost her.
She often recalled the time in the hospital when Chen Zan ran around for her. Although she was still a little girl, she went to the hospital every few days.
That was the first time she felt her daughter's care for her, and also the first time she realized how poorly she played the role of "mother".
"You should go to bed early. I will come back to see you later."
After Chen Zan finished speaking, he left without waiting for Lou Yan to speak again.
The slender figure disappeared from her sight, and Lou Yan felt an indescribable mixture of emotions in her heart. In the spacious living room, she sat alone on the sofa. Her lonely figure seemed to be a punishment for her wrongdoing.
The next morning, Lou Yan did not wait for Chen Zan, but waited for Jiang Yu first.
Lou Yan was a little surprised by Jiang Yu's visit, but she let him in and poured him a glass of water.
"Xiao Yu, why are you here?"
Jiang Yu smiled gently, "I came to see you."
Then he looked around again, but didn't see the person he wanted to see, so he asked, "Aunt, where is Zhanzhan?"
"Still sleeping upstairs?"
Lou Yan pursed her lips, a hint of sadness on her face. She told him, "She went back last night."
Jiang Yu was stunned, a little surprised.
"Then you..."
"I'm fine," Lou Yan said, "I owe her this."
Jiang Yu relaxed, but still comforted her: "Don't think too much."
"Yeah." Lou Yan nodded.
But then Jiang Yu said, "Actually, I came here this time because I want you to help me with something."
"What?"
Jiang Yu looked at Lou Yan and told her seriously, "Aunt Lou, I like Zhanzhan. I want you to help me persuade her..."
"Xiao Yu." Lou Yan called him.
She looked at the humble and handsome man opposite her, and said with some reluctance, "Things like feelings can't be forced."
Chen Zan’s escape yesterday already explains something.
She had done many wrong things to her in the past, and Lou Yan had regretted it for the five years since she left. She didn't want to make the same mistake again.
She told Jiang Yu, "I used to be very strict with her. I always thought I was doing everything for her own good. I arranged everything for her since she was little. I chose which university to go to, what school to take the entrance exam for, and what kind of person she would become in the future. I was the one who made the choices for her step by step."
"But I always ignored all her feelings and forgot what she liked. She liked painting, but I asked her to give it up. I even tried desperately to get her to break up with the boy she liked."
"I shouldn't have pushed her like that. I told her she's an adult and she has the right to choose the life she wants."
She seemed to be confessing, "Maybe I'm a little jealous. In those photos you sent me, she was smiling so happily. Such a heartfelt smile, I really envy her."
"Xiao Yu, I regret all these years. I regret shattering Zhan Zhan's smile with my own hands, and I also regret using those words to push her further away. Do you understand?"
So, Jiang Yu understood.
Lou Yan won't help him.
He wanted to say something else, but his throat was cut off by the sudden interruption.
"So you were involved in that incident, right?"
Chen Zan stood at the door and listened to their entire conversation. She thought about it for a long time after she left last night. What happened five years ago was not just Lou Yan's fault. She was still sick at the time and her mental state had just recovered not long ago. She was also divorcing Chen Jinnian, and the fact that she was in love with He Jingsui was originally hidden from her.
But even if she knew, even if she didn't stop them from being together, she and He Jingsui would still eventually separate.
Lou Yan’s obstruction was not the most fundamental reason.
So she decided to come back the next day and went to a nearby shopping mall to buy some things for Lou Yan.
But what she didn't expect was that she would hear something she had never known as soon as she got home.
Chen Zan never thought that Jiang Yu was involved.
He sent the photo to Lou Yan, so Lou Yan knew about it.
It turned out to be like this.
Chen Zan looked at him coldly, and saw that his face was full of surprise and panic.
“Chanchan…”
Putting down the things in his hand, Chen Zhan didn't even look at him, turned around and walked outside.
Jiang Yu and Lou Yan were both panicked.
Jiang Yu quickly got up and chased after him.
“Chanchan…”
The man walked quickly and caught up with her in two or three steps. Jiang Yu grabbed Chen Zan's wrist.
Chen Zan shook him off with all his strength. She stopped and looked at him coldly.
This was the first time he saw Chen Zan's cold eyes, and he felt a little scared.
He called her, "Zhanzhan..."
"Shouldn't you give me an explanation?" she interrupted him coldly.
"I……"
He couldn't come up with the explanation she wanted.
"Jiang Yu, why did you do that?" She asked fiercely, "Where did you get the photos of me and He Jingsui? Why did you send those photos to my mother?"
The more she spoke, the more her emotions fluctuated. In the end, her eyes felt slightly sore, her chest heaving up and down, and her voice choked slightly, "Do you know what my mother was like at that time..."
She thought of the days when Lou Yan suffered a lot, and her fingers curled up and clenched.
"Zhanzhan, I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong, but I don't want to see you hanging out with him..."
"So you're using my mother to deal with me, right?" She said this with great difficulty. Chen Zhan looked at the man in front of her who was always gentle and soft, and at this moment he became a stranger. She pulled the corners of her lips ridiculously, "Jiang Yu, when did you learn these despicable tactics?"
"Because I like you," Jiang Yu said, "so even if these methods make you feel uncomfortable, I will do them."
He has always been a gentle, excellent and humble person. From childhood to adulthood, he has been praised countless times by teachers and parents, and admired by classmates and friends.
It's like a collection of all the beautiful words.
But why did he change after growing up, becoming so unfamiliar to Chen Zan?
Chen Zan's eyes were filled with disbelief.
She looked at him and couldn't help but step back.
Keep your distance from him.
Jiang Yu said: "Zhanzhan, I like you, I really like you."
"But I don't like you." Chen Zhan said coldly, cutting off his expectations. "I never liked you."
Every word seemed to pierce Jiang Yu's heart like a knife.
While enduring the pain she brought him, he listened to her say, "Jiang Yu, I have never liked you. All along, I have only regarded you as my brother, and you can only be my brother."
She touched her chest and said, "There's already someone in this place of mine."
"It's He Jingsui, right?"
Chen Zan admitted frankly, "Yes."
"You still like him?" Jiang Yu thought it was ridiculous, "You two have been broken up for five years!"
"So what?" Chen Zan told him hysterically, "I just like him!"
"What about him? After all these years, will he still like you as much as before?"
Chen Zan almost went crazy when he saw that he didn't look gentle and kind at all.
She was stunned by his fierce look.
During the five years they were apart, she dreamed of him almost every day and night. She dreamed of that rainy day, dreamed of him fulfilling his dream and becoming the best in the world. That unrestrained and passionate young man became the pride of everyone. His future was bright, but she was separated from him by thousands of hills and ravines.
She watched him create countless miracles and shine brightly.
Watching him finally forget her bit by bit and find the person who would accompany him for the rest of his life.
Such a beautiful and happy dream, but it hurt her heart again and again.
It seemed as if he would not allow her to forget that she was the one who wronged him first on that rainy day.
But what can we do?
Even though it was painful, she was willing to do it; even if it was a punishment, she wanted to see him again in this way.
"It doesn't matter if he doesn't like me," she replied to Jiang Yu, "it's enough that I like him."
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