Chapter 75
The moment Xie Wen made a slight movement, Chu Xianyue seemed to sense it. However, before he could even open his eyes, Xie Wen raised his hand and cast a small spell on him. He closed his eyes again, and the hand that was about to land on Xie Wen fell heavily to the ground.
Xie Wen gently placed Chu Xianyue's hand down and gazed at his cold, handsome face in the moonlight for a while. He wouldn't know the next day, wouldn't know that Xie Wen had left midway, wouldn't know that Xie Wen had cast a small spell on him.
Under the moonlight, Xie Wen tiptoed to her feet. She didn't put on shoes and didn't go out through the front door, fearing that Chu Xianyue would notice the change in her shoes the next day and become suspicious. Xie Wen opened the window and jumped out.
She stood barefoot, coldly observing the man standing before her—or rather, a semi-transparent spirit. Bathed in moonlight, this spirit appeared even more luminous, like a pool of flowing water.
At this moment, dressed in white, he looked at Xie Wen with a smile in his eyes, as gentle and tender as ever, "Ah Wen, we meet again. I've missed you so much."
Xie Wen felt nauseous. After the constant threats he had made to her over the past ten days, Xie Wen gradually accepted the unchangeable fact that he would return and gradually understood that there were some things she had to face.
Jin Huaran escaped just now when Xie Wen went to the Canglan River. He escaped the suppression of the heavy magical artifacts and came to Youzhou with Xie Wen. Xie Wen had a strong, vague feeling that Jin Huaran seemed to have been waiting for him at the border of the Canglan River all along.
Although Xie Wen didn't know how Jin Huaran had been able to transmit his voice into his mind and his faint image into his eyes before, it seemed that this was all part of Jin Huaran's plan once again. His aim was to lure Xie Wen to the border of the Canglan River, to make Xie Wen see him. Then, he would escape and follow Xie Wen.
He seems unable to live without her.
Xie Wen looked up and stared straight at Jin Huaran, an old acquaintance. With that compassionate face and venomous eyes, Jin Huaran smiled at Xie Wen and said in a gentle voice that it had been a long time since they last met and that he had missed her.
Xie Wen finally spoke, "What exactly do you want to do?"
Jin Huaran said, "You've always known what I want to do. But now I'm just a wisp of a soul, and I can't do anything anymore. You're my only friend in this world, so of course I came to find you. Awen, you're all I have left."
Xie Wen said, "Stop pretending! Once I find a way to kill you completely, I will crush your soul as well!" Xie Wen said this through gritted teeth, his words filled with deep hatred.
Jin Huaran's expression seemed to waver for a moment, then he said, "Fine, I'm willing to do whatever you want to me. But, Awen, before that, you're still reluctant to crush me, aren't you? I guess you also want to know why you always dream of having white hair, why in Li Zhaoxue's memory you became the disciple of the Daoist of Yunyin Divine Mountain, and why, after you stabbed me, the same blood flowed from your own chest."
"Ah Wen, Ah Wen, you actually knew something was wrong a long time ago, didn't you? You discovered many suspicious points about yourself, but you just refused to face them. I believe you are the only truly close person I have in this disgusting, stinking world. We are connected heart to heart, otherwise why wouldn't we be able to hurt each other?"
"Awen, I don't mind dying at your hands, having my soul crushed by you, but I'm only worried about you. I'm worried you'll suffer the same injuries, worried your soul will be crushed along with mine."
Upon hearing this, Xie Wen uncontrollably recalled the scene on the Canglan River. She remembered correctly and saw correctly; she was the one who stabbed him, yet she was also wounded. It wasn't what Chu Xianyue said; she was stabbed by the Faceless Man.
That wound appeared out of nowhere, as soon as she stabbed him in the chest with her sword.
Xie Wen touched the still-unhealed wound on her chest, her breathing becoming rapid. In an instant, the Yao Fang Sword materialized in her hand, its sharp sword energy slashing towards Jin Huaran. "Shut up!"
However, this translucent phantom merely flickered in the air like distorted hot air, quickly reforming itself into his smiling face. Meanwhile, the bamboo behind him collapsed one by one with a crash.
Jin Huaran burst into laughter, a laugh bordering on maniacal. "Even if you tell me to shut up, these are established facts."
"Awen, are you planning to keep running away forever? Are you planning to spend your whole life hiding in this dark rat hole? If it weren't for the fact that outsiders are still trying to find out about you and want to kill you to prevent future troubles, why do you think Chu Xianyue would bring you to this desolate place to hide? If he didn't also know that there were many suspicious things about you that couldn't be investigated, why would he lie to you and say that your injury was caused by someone else?"
Awen, believe me, I am the only person in this world who will not deceive you. If you don't face it, one day these questions and doubts will automatically come to you. As long as you exist, you cannot escape them. Why don't you actively seek out these unsolved mysteries? Even if you are not a member of the Feathered Clan, go and find evidence to prove it to the world. At least you won't have to hide anymore, living like a rat that everyone hates. At least you can tell the world your innocence, and you won't have to drag yourself through life burdened by unfounded "crimes," and you won't have to wake up in fear every night because of this, living in constant anxiety.
Seeing Xie Wen's apparent indifference, Jin Huaran continued her incessant chatter beside him, "Are you really planning to spend your whole life here with this Chu Xianyue? What's so good about this place? Can someone like him truly love someone? Just as he said, everything he does is for his mission, for his Heavenly Dao mission, to make you fall completely in love with him so he can achieve his Great Dao and ascend to godhood. He's doing all this just to use you. Ah Wen, he's already revealed the truth under the guise of arguing, and you're foolishly clinging to the belief that he has no sincerity, completely deceived by him. Under his sweet words and feigned innocence, you've given him your body and soul? I believe it won't be long before he completes his mission and kicks you aside. At that time, you'll just be an ant in the mortal world, you'll never be able to reach him."
"At that time, I will ascend to godhood, while you will only be a tiny ant in the mortal world for the rest of your life! You will never be able to reach me!" Xie Wen seemed to hear Chu Xianyue's words echoing in her ears. Her heart throbbed as if it had been struck by something, making her dizzy.
So, Jin Huaran had been hiding by her side all along?
How could he know that Chu Xianyue had only said those things to her?
Jin Huaran not only knew this, but also knew that Chu Xianyue had lied to Xie Wen, saying that the injury on her chest was inflicted by someone else. He also knew the content of all the arguments between Chu Xianyue and Xie Wen.
I also know that she has completely devoted herself to this cause!
He had always been by Xie Wen's side. Ever since Jin Huaran's physical body died and Xie Wen fell into a coma due to that sword, he had stayed by Xie Wen's side every moment since then.
Xie Wen's scalp tingled, her legs trembled, and cold sweat broke out on her back. She suddenly realized that she couldn't shake him off. He would haunt her like a demon for all eternity, making Xie Wen suffer for all eternity!
Now, only Xie Wen can see this person, and only Xie Wen can hear his voice.
Now, for Xie Wen to stab him is the same as stabbing himself.
This means that Xie Wen can never get rid of Jin Huaran. He has become like a parasite, living inside Xie Wen. Her life is his life, her death is his death.
Xie Wen's pupils trembled as he looked at Jin Huaran, whose semi-transparent soul twisted with excitement at the sight of Xie Wen's appearance.
Bamboo leaves fluttered down, each one piercing through Jin Huaran's body before gently settling to the ground.
Xie Wen met his gaze across the distance, and suddenly felt a sense of relief. She understood that he was provoking and irritating her with his words. She was a living, breathing person, while he was a soul long since dead. What could he do? He could do nothing but futilely parasitize Xie Wen, all he could do was provoke and provoke her, helplessly hovering before her. He had nothing to fear; all his fear stemmed from himself, from the fear of the unknown.
She needed to understand that what she feared wasn't Jin Huaran. He was just a wisp of a soul. He couldn't hurt her, nor could he affect her.
Xie Wen suddenly recalled the last words Jin Huaran had said to him before he lost consciousness at the bottom of the Canglan River: "Do you know who you really are?"
Xie Wen really wanted to ask Jin Huaran at that time, "And what about you?"
Jin Huaran's semi-transparent body was clearly stunned for a moment by Xie Wen's words, and then Xie Wen calmly said, "And you? Do you still remember your real name? Do you still remember who you really are?"
How could Jin Huaran so casually ask Xie Wen if he knew who he really was? He himself was the one who knew the least about himself.
"No one remembers the real you. You are now using someone else's identity and name. You have long forgotten who you really are."
After saying this, Xie Wen felt sleepy. He yawned, turned around, and climbed back through the window to sleep, snuggling back into Chu Xianyue's warm embrace. Jin Huaran, meanwhile, watched Xie Wen's actions from afar, the falling leaves still piercing his body like sharp blades. Xie Wen's words still echoed in his ears—"No one remembers who you are. Including yourself."
What was his original name?
After thinking it over and over, I could only remember one name: "A Liang".
In the cold wind, he heard the window slam shut, completely shutting Jin Huaran out of the house. On this night filled with falling leaves, he shed tears for the first time.
However, after wiping away his tears, his eyes regained their resolve and ruthlessness, burning with the overwhelming obsession he had held throughout his life. He thought to himself, so what if no one remembers the real him? But if he couldn't save his people, he wouldn't rest in peace even as a ghost. So, even as a ghost, he would crawl out and continue his schemes. He was determined to fight humanity to the death, even unto death!
As for Awen, whether he understands him or hates him, this path of revenge is destined to be lonely and unbearable. And he will guard this path alone. He will not rest until he reaches the end, even in death.
*
Since his trip to the Canglan River, Chu Xianyue had a feeling that Xie Wen had changed a lot. The nightmares, the white hair, and the shadow of Jin Huaran that had lingered on her seemed to have completely disappeared. Xie Wen was even more lively and cheerful than before. She often smiled sweetly at Chu Xianyue. When he sat in the courtyard, she would hug his neck, sometimes acting coquettishly, sometimes kissing him.
Unbeknownst to him, when she initiated the kiss, her gaze was elsewhere. In that place, a semi-transparent figure silently watched Xie Wen kiss him. Just silently watching. Xie Wen also looked back at him, his eyes full of provocation.
Xie Wen rarely kissed him first, which made Chu Xianyue almost dizzy. This sudden sweetness overwhelmed his brain, making him ignore the various abnormalities hidden in the details. Later, he was destined to suffer endless troubles.
In the morning, Chu Xianyue was going to the market to collect items again, and Xie Wen wanted to go with him. She said, "I want to go too, I want to go to the market."
Chu Xianyue agreed, "Okay." Ever since Honghong'er said that Xie Wen's affection for him had remained at 98% after that argument, Chu Xianyue rarely argued with Xie Wen anymore.
He felt that this was enough; he loved deeply, but didn't flaunt it easily. Just right.
They went to the market together in an oxcart. They stood by the roadside long before, waiting for the oxcart to arrive, though no one knew when.
It hadn't rained these past few days, so there were fewer stops and starts, and the roads weren't slippery. However, the mountain road was still as bumpy as ever, so Chu Xianyue took off his outer garment and used it as a cushion for Xie Wen's bottom. Xie Wen nestled in Chu Xianyue's arms, a happy expression on his face, his gaze drifting lightly to Jin Huaran.
Jin Huaran sat on the other side of the oxcart, next to a woman. After a while, the woman moved, and Jin Huaran sat inside her. To Xie Wen, it appeared as if the woman's body was overlapping with Jin Huaran's. He seemed completely unaware, continuing to watch quietly.
Xie Wen and Chu Xianyue spent the whole day strolling through the bustling city. Xie Wen was very happy and excited, dragging Chu Xianyue around everywhere and buying many things she wouldn't normally need. Whether interested or not, Xie Wen wanted to buy them all. Chu Xianyue didn't object, only slightly surprised, as Xie Wen didn't usually seem like this. However, he simply assumed it was because Xie Wen was happy that day. He just wanted her to be happy.
As the two strolled through the market, Jin Huaran's ghostly spirit silently floated behind them, watching in silence.
As the sun set, the two boarded an oxcart. Xie Wen lay on the hay-covered cart, her face bathed in the brilliant sunset, and they leisurely made their way home. Lying there, Xie Wen could see two people in her line of sight: Chu Xianyue on her left and Jin Huaran on her right. The one on the right, illuminated directly by the setting sun, appeared even more translucent in the daytime light.
By the time we arrived at the cabin, the sun had already set.
Honghong had already obediently prepared dinner. As soon as Xie Wen returned, she saw Honghong squatting at the door waiting for her with wide eyes. She immediately ran over, crying and sniffling, and threw herself at Xie Wen, "Awen, you're finally back. I thought you didn't want me anymore, waaaaah."
Xie Wen gently patted Honghong'er's head and said, "Didn't I say I wouldn't abandon you?"
Honghong then hugged Xie Wen's leg and nodded.
Chu Xianyue subtly pulled Honghong'er away, giving her a look that signaled her to stop short of making a move.
The three of them sat together eating as the snowflakes fluttered down, while Xie Wen watched Jin Huaran sit alone in the distance. He remained quietly watching Xie Wen, as if truly detached from everything else.
But if he is truly independent of all of this, why does he keep following her?
After dinner, Chu Xianyue cleaned up the dishes and prepared water for Xie Wen to wash his feet. He tested the water temperature before letting Xie Wen put his feet in.
First, splash warm water on her feet to let Xie Wen get used to the water temperature, then slowly put her feet into the water and patiently massage them repeatedly in the warm water.
The steam from the warm water made Chu Xianyue's cheeks turn red. He took a handkerchief and carefully wiped Xie Wen's face.
As Xie Wen lifted her foot, she accidentally bumped into Chu Xianyue's chin, causing him to look up at her, revealing a face flushed red from the steam of the hot water. Xie Wen's cheeks seemed to be flushed as well, and she was about to step back, trying to pull her foot away. But Chu Xianyue suddenly grabbed her ankle and pulled her towards him.
Xie Wen tried to break free but couldn't. She blinked her clear eyes at Chu Xianyue, and out of the corner of her eye, Jin Huaran sat under the candlelight, his translucent face appearing eerily dark.
Before Xie Wen could react, she suddenly shuddered, realizing a warm, wet kiss had landed on the back of her foot. Chu Xianyue lowered his head and kissed her foot. A tingling sensation shot from her foot to her brain, causing her to tremble involuntarily.
Chu Xianyue raised his eyes and stared at her dangerously. Xie Wen's feet were firmly held by him and she couldn't move at all. She could only let him kiss her slowly from the instep all the way up.
He lay beneath her until he reached her thighs before stopping.
Xie Wen stopped her. She was the one who couldn't take it anymore. In the candlelight, he was still staring straight at her.
Chu Xianyue looked up at Xie Wen, then leaned down and pressed himself against her. "What's wrong?" Xie Wen shook her head, panting heavily. The next moment, he grabbed her chin and kissed her deeply. Their lips and teeth lingered, from the initial tenderness to the later wildness and roughness. This was almost their most intense kiss.
Their lips were swollen from kissing, and their tongues had lost all feeling. Chu Xianyue looked down at Xie Wen with unclear eyes, while Xie Wen's gaze was fixed on the candlelight.
There was nothing there anymore.
Finally provoking Jin Huaran, Xie Wen felt as if she had achieved some kind of spiritual victory, as if she had proven something. Proved that she was indeed very happy and joyful. Proved that everything Jin Huaran had said was utter nonsense.
As night deepened, she kept her eyes open, letting him take the initiative. As she held him and succumbed to his tenderness, her feelings were completely different.
In the days that followed, no matter how affectionate Xie Wen and Chu Xianyue were, Jin Huaran remained indifferent.
After an unknown amount of time, Jin Huaran's unwavering composure and detachment gradually shattered Xie Wen's facade. It crumbled on its own.
She was tired.
In the dead of night, Xie Wen cast a small spell on Chu Xianyue. She jumped out of the window.
Jin Huaran stood there, and after so many days, he finally spoke again, "Awen, are you tired these days? Please don't make things harder for yourself, okay?"
Perhaps he truly treats you well, and you've felt a spark and experienced joy, but the deep-seated fear and anxiety within you are also real. Haven't you realized it yet? He's capable of anything for his mission and for the greater good. The more you're moved, doesn't that only prove his brilliance?
Besides, the feigned excitement and happiness you've been putting on these past few days might fool me, and he might fool me, but it won't fool Xuezhui. Your feelings for you haven't changed. I've seen through all the happiness and joy you've been pretending to have these past few days. You must be feeling disappointed. And all I want to ask you is, are you tired?
"Look at yourself now! What's the point of living like this? You know you'll never have peace until you figure out the mysteries surrounding you. You know you'd be better off dying like me than living in this confusion."
At least I died with clarity and honesty. At least I know my origin and where I came from, and I know where I will ultimately go. Do you know who you really are? Do you know what you experienced as a child? Do you know what blood flows in your veins? Do you know which hometown you will return to after you die?
You don't know any of this. Stop deceiving yourself. A person living in this world is only truly alive if they know who they really are. Otherwise, what's the difference between you and a walking corpse?
Ah Wen, why don't you try putting aside our grudges and finding out your true origins? At least you'll have a clear conscience, and you won't live in constant fear and anxiety anymore.
Are you also afraid that if you find out the "truth," you will lose everything you have now. You will also lose him completely? Don't you firmly believe how strong your love is? You're even hesitating about this? Does that mean he still doesn't give you enough security?
"Awen, are you sure? Are you sure that if you really are a member of the Feather Clan, you're sure he'll still protect you unconditionally? Do you know which of his words are true and which are false? His protection of you before might have just been a charade, merely fulfilling a duty to Heaven. And after he truly ascends, are you sure he'll still protect you? Such a heartless person might be the first to stand up and destroy you. Everything you're in now is an illusion; you're trapped in the illusory haven Chu Xianyue has created for you, and you can't wake up. How laughable."
"Hey Wen, Wen, wanna make a bet with me?"
After Jin Huaran finished speaking, Xie Wen coldly scoffed, "Is this interesting?"
Jin Huaran was both amused and exasperated. "Isn't it interesting? I thought you would be very curious to know whether he would defy the world and ultimately choose you."
Xie Wen: "After saying all this, you just want me to confirm something. To confirm your own conjecture?"
"Alright! Since we can't avoid it, why not face it head-on?"
Xie Wen's words caused Jin Huaran's face to twitch for a moment. Little did anyone know, at that moment his heart was already twisted, twisted with malice. He secretly hoped that it was indeed as he had guessed.
If Jin Huaran's guess is true, then there truly is another person in this world who shares the same blood as him. He will no longer be alone on this path of revenge.
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