Ascension?
The deceased who had come with him had already boarded the previous elevator and left. Judging by the number of passengers, there were at least forty, if not fifty. Its capacity and operation were largely similar to those of ordinary industrial elevators. However, this elevator, conjured from thin air by the ghost messengers, only had a button leading to the basement. There were no floor indicators outside to indicate how many floors there were or what services were available.
Despite his curiosity, Hu Ziyu did not dare to act rashly. It would be terrible if he accidentally entered the lower world and could never return to the human world.
"You should not ride this ladder of fate that leads to the underworld, but the ladder of clouds that leads directly to the heavenly hall." A gentle voice, as gentle as water, sounded from behind him. It was the young man. Unknowingly, he had quietly circled behind him, bent slightly, and saluted. "Your humble servant Linghong, by the order of Taiyin Xingjun, the chief deity of the Taiyin Temple, and the previous Rabbit Lord, comes to respectfully invite the new Moon Rabbit God to ascend to Guanghan Palace." Hu Ziyu was stunned for a moment, not understanding a single word the young man said.
When he looked closer, he realized that although the young man was handsome, he had a stern look in his eyes and an indifferent and arrogant look, which did not match his pleasant voice.
"Master Hu, please accept my order." The young man bent over and took out two crumpled pieces of paper from his wide sleeves.
"This...is this some kind of official document from the underworld?" Hu Ziyu scratched the back of his head where the bleeding had just stopped.
"This is the dispatch order and the 'handover list' written by the previous Lord Rabbit before he left." The young man answered, his voice like the rhythm of a spring suddenly revealing a three-point ice edge.
Hu Ziyu stretched out his trembling hands to take it.
The first piece of paper was an order from the Guanghan Palace of the Taiyin Temple, written on A4 paper. It was stamped with a large square red seal of the Taiyin Temple and the official signature seal of the Taiyin Star Lord. The second piece of paper looked like a paper used by children for writing practice. The words on it were crooked and extremely ugly. Hu Ziyu turned it over and over several times, but still couldn't figure out which side was the beginning.
The young man waved his right palm, and a starry blue 14-inch PAD appeared.
Hu Ziyu still hasn't gotten used to this strange and absurd mixture of ancient and modern times.
"Before the formal handover, please allow me to verify your identity once more—Hu Ziyu, biological male, born in City A in the year 2004. I have a quirky personality, a taste for the unusual, and a fondness for men. I have some knowledge of medicine, literature, and martial arts." Hu Ziyu nodded, allowing the young man to tick each box. Regarding literature... he scored a perfect score on his essay on the academic exam. Even if it wasn't quite up to par with the ancient imperial examinations, it was certainly not bad. As for martial arts, Hu Ziyu had always been handsome and refined, speaking softly. Lacking the ruggedness and integrity expected of a man, he was inevitably bullied by mischievous individuals at school and in cram school. To protect himself, he learned some judo and martial arts techniques. Except for the three-character adjective in the middle row, which sounded a bit off.
"Don't question the evaluation of the Heavenly Court. What's more, the previous Rabbit Lord was impressed by your personality traits and allowed you to be promoted through the back door." As he spoke, the young man's face became a little gloomier.
"Go through the back door..." Hu Ziyu's ears burned, as if he'd heard some incredible inside story. He'd barely heard of things like becoming a Buddha, ascending to immortality, or cultivating the Dao, and had no interest in delving into them. He usually followed his family in their folk beliefs, worshipping the Earth Goddess, Guanyin and Mazu, and offering sacrifices to the Zhongyuan Festival. But he also understood that for mortals or ordinary ghosts to ascend to the ranks of the immortals, they had to first establish merit and accumulate countless virtues. Or, they had to perform extraordinary deeds or achievements that moved the gods in heaven, and only then would they be taken up to heaven. So, he'd taken the back door, and it was the narrowest of the back doors!
"Wait, what does this mean? Am I not...still alive?" Hu Ziyu was speechless and his voice gradually lowered.
"Of course not!" The young man frowned, his cold gaze sweeping across the two ghost messengers. "Is that what you told him?"
"No, no..." The second ghost shook his head like a wave drum.
The young man turned and looked directly at Hu Ziyu. "Master Hu, you completed your calamity at the third quarter of this day, at the age of eighteen. The cause of death was a cerebral hemorrhage, a ruptured skull, and internal bleeding. You showed no signs of life before medical assistance arrived at the crime scene."
"What...what!" Hu Ziyu suddenly felt as if he was struck by lightning, and his whole body was like a yellow-haired mouse under the full force of 100,000 volts.
"Not breathing or heartbeat upon arrival" and "crime scene"—phrases often used by journalists—don't ring true when applied to me. Dead, destined for death, dead of old age...does that mean there's no going back?
He was still waiting for summer break this year to cram math and physics for his noisy, clueless brother! He was almost entering his third year of high school, but he still had no ambition. He'd promised to come to University A as his junior, but if he kept up the pace, there was no way he'd make the list!
Also, he promised that after they graduated from college, they would form a Tesla wedding team and go to City A openly to marry his boyfriend... At that time, Hu Ziyu thought Chu Tianqi was just talking nonsense and didn't take it to heart at all, but now, he really wants to borrow seven more years of life from God so that he can finish medical school.
Before he knew it, Hu Ziyu's face was covered with tears and snot.
"Don't cry, it's so embarrassing! There will be people who will help you uphold justice and fairness in the world, so don't worry." After saying that, the young man shook his right sleeve, and a whisk fell into his palm out of thin air. Then he raised his right hand and swirled it around Hu Ziyu's body. When the whisk brushed across the tip of his nose, it also wiped away the tears on his face.
"The clothes of the underworld are too ghostly, so don't wear them. I have already prepared the clothes you should wear when you go to the Moon Palace. Please change into them before you go. In addition, although this pounded medicine mooncake is left over from last year's Mid-Autumn Festival, it can help you heal all the wounds on your soul. Please eat it." Hu Ziyu took the palm-sized, exquisite pastry in the shape of a jade rabbit, sniffed, and asked: "I have no idea how I died. Could it be that I was similar to that big sister and was run over by a car?"
"No, do you want to take a look at the news broadcast by Human TV?" the young man asked, and Hu Ziyu nodded.
The young man's slender fingers quickly tapped the PAD a few times to bring up the video homepage.
"I didn't expect that I could connect to the internet in the world of the living and watch programs from the world of the living..." Hu Ziyu felt fresh and surprised, and gradually restrained his tearful eyes.
"Of course. I'll be sending you a dedicated Rabbit God PAD later. From then on, you can view and search anything you want, except for paid content," the young man said, adding, "But you may not use the account or identity you had during your lifetime to post or participate in activities."
"Oh." Hu Ziyu remembered it in his heart.
The young man used voice input to search for "Grand Avenue violence news" and selected the top video, which also had the highest click-through rate.
A majestic background music accompanied by an animation of the Earth rotating played, and the camera then shifted to a pretty female anchor in a studio. "First, let me bring you to today's headlines: Thousands of LGBTQ+ people gathered on the Gran Vía to celebrate the fourth anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage, proclaiming a victory for love and human rights. On both sides of the Gran Vía, several civil society groups held high white banners protesting political corruption, a dead judiciary, moral decline, and intolerance, demanding that the police forcibly disperse the marchers." The LCD screen next to the anchor was split into three frames. The largest frame was a drone-captured video of the thousands gathered. The upper right frame showed a flag-waving marcher, while the lower right showed church groups holding banners and chanting slogans. "An unfortunate incident occurred during this march at around 10:30 am. A male freshman from the Cooler Research Society at University A was attacked on the back of the head with an aluminum bar by a radical protester. After fainting, he was trampled by the crowd behind him and had no vital signs when he arrived at the A City Hospital." There were no surveillance cameras in the alley, so Hu Ziyu was unable to see the crucial footage of himself being attacked. The news only broadcast footage of police maintaining traffic and blowing whistles to signal pedestrians to make way for the ambulance.
"So this is how I died..." Hu Ziyu muttered to himself, and after half a minute, he gradually came back to his senses.
"By the way, that thug didn't attack anyone else, did he?"
"No, it was too late," the young man replied. "Not only the students around you, but also the people from his camp rushed over and suppressed him, preventing further harm."
"That's good." Hu Ziyu was both happy and worried. He just didn't understand why the thugs chose to pick him out of the crowd of so many people in the parade. Was it because he was particularly unlucky that he was KOed by a powerful move, or did he have a grudge with someone inadvertently?
"Look at it this way. You came into this world without feeling any pain." Not wanting to give Hu Ziyu too much time to wallow in self-pity, the young man interrupted his thoughts, saying, "In order to quickly establish your image, attract followers, and accumulate incense, you must die defending human rights. Ideally, your death should be horrific, deeply moving, mourned by both gods and ghosts, and recorded in history. The previous generation of Rabbit Lord arranged this death not for nothing, nor was it a deliberate prank."
"Playing tricks on Mr. Rabbit..." Hu Ziyu thought intently, the pain in the back of his head, where the hole had been, unbearable. He glanced at the mooncake in his hand. Although he had doubts about its efficacy, he still brought it to his lips and took a small bite. The aroma of jujube paste instantly melted on his lips, the finely ground walnuts were chewy and easy to chew, and the filling was faintly fragrant with medicinal aroma.
"I seem to have eaten crushed red dates and wolfberries..." said Hu Ziyu.
"Yes, this is a blend of eighteen traditional Chinese medicine mooncakes. It's very effective in healing spiritual injuries, calming the mind, relieving fatigue, and dispelling evil spirits. Remember this taste. I'll definitely need you before Mid-Autumn Festival this year." The young man then urged Hu Ziyu to quickly swallow the remaining half. Hu Ziyu nearly choked from eating too quickly, and the dwarf ghost officer, seeing this, hurriedly offered him a bowl of tea.
When Hu Ziyu opened his mouth to drink, the young man swiftly swung his knife and hit both the tea bowl and the ghost messenger.
"What are you holding? When will my Star Lord issue an order to erase the memory of the new Rabbit God?" The young man roared, his tone and volume rising several levels, scaring the two ghost officials so much that they kowtowed and apologized repeatedly.
"I'm stupid! I didn't mean to..."
"roll!"
The two ghost officials, one tall and one short, scrambled for their lives. Hu Ziyu was dumbfounded. Could this be the legendary...Meng Po soup? Furthermore, it turned out that ghost officials without physical bodies could be beaten, and cried like mortals, with tears and snot.
"Remember, gods and ghosts are different. You can't eat things from the underworld. Let's get back to the topic." The young man's expression changed, returning to a cold, icy expression. "Miscellaneous historical records state that the previous Rabbit God Hu Tianbao was beaten to death by caning for coveting the beauty of the Imperial Censor."
"I know that. My brother introduced me to that book. No wonder, when I first heard the words 'Rabbit God,' they sounded familiar." Hu Ziyu, tired of standing, chose the nearest chair and sat down. Bending over, he noticed his clothes were completely white. The bleeding spots that had previously covered his chest and limbs were gone. Not only that, his body felt much lighter, and when he bent over, he didn't feel the discomfort he had when he first arrived.
According to the book "Zi Bu Yu, Volume 19, Rabbit God," in the early Qing Dynasty, there was a young and successful imperial censor who was assigned to an official position. A local man named Hu Tianbao was deeply attracted to the censor's beauty. Whenever the censor went to court to handle a case, he would hide in the dark to observe.
One day, the censor went out for inspection, and Hu Tianbao followed him quietly. After a while, this guy hid in the toilet and peeped at the censor's beautiful buttocks! The censor ordered people to arrest him and question his motives for committing the crime. Hu Tianbao refused to say anything at first, but later
He was tortured to the point of being unable to bear it any longer, so he had no choice but to come out publicly. The censor was furious and ordered him to be beaten to death.
A month later, Hu Tianbao appeared in a dream to his fellow villagers, saying, "I offended a distinguished lord with my indecent behavior, and I deserve death. However, my actions were motivated by foolish love, unlike those of other villains who harm others with malicious intent. The officials in the underworld all laughed at me and made fun of me, but none of them were angry with me. Now, in the underworld, I have been named the Rabbit God, responsible for regulating homosexuality. You can build a temple for me. Once it attracts incense and offerings, my magical powers will grow, and I will be able to ensure that you and your partners will live in love and happiness forever."
In some areas, there was a custom of marrying men as "sworn brothers." When the villagers heard this dream, they were overwhelmed with joy and enthusiasm, and they rushed to raise funds to build a temple. Over time, it became known to be incredibly effective. From then on, anyone seeking a secret date or experiencing disapproval of a romantic relationship would visit and pray for protection.
"You actually know such an unpopular thing..." the young man muttered softly, patted the chair lightly with his whisk, and sat down next to Hu Ziyu.
"Everyone says he's a perverted scoundrel who ascended to heaven for no apparent reason. However, what the history books don't record is that he had some knowledge of civil and military tactics, as well as medicine. It's just that his ambitions conflicted with the court's policies, so he refused to take the exam and enter the government."
"Is that so..." Hu Ziyu vaguely felt that, aside from his perverted stalkerish behavior, this man's abilities were 87% similar to his own, even down to their incredibly idiotic deaths—one being beaten to death by clubs, the other being trampled to death. However, if Hu Tianbao hadn't committed any serious offenses since becoming a god, and wasn't forced to leave his post due to job rotation or other reasons, there was really no need to force a rookie with no social experience in his place.
After clearing his throat, Hu Ziyu decided to muster up the courage to make a request: "Thank you very much for your support, sir, but I think I am not talented enough and knowledgeable enough to ascend to the Heavenly Palace. Don't I have any other choices, such as...staying here as a partner of the two ghost messenger seniors, or directly starting my next life?" Hearing this, the young man raised his eyebrows and smiled meaningfully. "It's not impossible. But as a convention, every few years, the Lingxiao Palace will recruit a group of new blood from the mortal world to inject new vitality into the Heavenly Palace. If you don't want to, there will naturally be other candidates who will report to the Heavenly Palace after they die in various ways." Hu Ziyu guessed that the young man meant that if he cruelly rejected the kindness of the previous generation of Rabbit Lord, it would cause others to die young, or be unlucky enough to die on the street like him.
This was definitely not something he, who claimed to be kind and harmless, would like to see.
"Speaking of which, what's the next roster of candidates...let me take a look." The young man closed the video and opened another app for official document delivery. The photo of the young man on the screen bore a 70% resemblance to Hu Ziyu.
"Wenchang Emperor is in need of a secretarial clerk. City A has a talented young man named Hu Zilin, sixteen years old. He's clever, articulate, and handsome, making him quite popular with the old Taoist nuns who serve Wenchang. Let's have him blown to death by the fireworks during the festival."
"No!" Hu Ziyu screamed repeatedly. "No, then, this young man from a merchant family, only twenty years old, diligent in study, generous and charitable, skilled in arithmetic and financial management, has the potential to make a fortune. Ever since the boy Shancai, the companion of Guanyin Bodhisattva, descended to earth to help the world decades ago, this position has been vacant..."
Hu Ziyu knew it easily with his toes that the substitute's name was Chu Tianqi.
This person, no, or rather the Moon Palace, or the entire heaven, clearly has a big shot, or a set of mechanisms specifically designed to oppose him.
"How can you be so heartless to pick the most important person to me as a hostage!" Hu Ziyu continued to wail, almost bursting into tears.
"I am only stating the names in the order of succession. Besides, people in the heavenly realm don't value benevolence, but only merit. Dirty and disgusting things happen from time to time. With time, you will understand and get used to it." The young man said with a smile.
Hu Ziyu always felt that this man was hundreds of times more terrifying when he smiled than when he was furious and expressionless.
"The point is, you have no choice," the young man continued. "With the Rabbit Lord absconding, all business at the Jade Rabbit Temple in Guanghan Palace has been temporarily transferred to the Moon God's temple. Yue Lao is already old, busy with matchmaking and romantic affairs, and has long been overwhelmed. The workload of the temple's colleagues has increased by 20-30% for no apparent reason, and everyone is complaining and miserable. So, they launched a "one letter, one phone call" campaign, flooding the Taiyin Temple mailbox and service hotline." Hu Ziyu was once again dumbfounded. How could the situation in this celestial realm be so identical to the chaotic human world? Even such trivial matters as civil servants neglecting their duties are happening!
"Wait, you said Mr. Rabbit ran away... What on earth is going on?" The young man let out a breath that was both helpless and condemning.
"He ran away, literally. He ran away. After waiting for more than three hundred years, I finally found my beloved censor who had reincarnated as a celebrity in the Guanfan Mirror. That guy said nothing, left a vague handover list, and then blew up all his magic power, burned the merits and achievements he had accumulated after becoming a god, and jumped into the mortal world. Song Xinghe, have you heard of this person? He looks like an entertainer, selling smiles and performing arts." Hu Ziyu's jaw almost dropped. Isn't that the new generation of handsome actor who just starred in a BL drama a while ago and is very popular?
"From now on, Guanghan Palace must recruit someone first, and that person is you. The clerks at Wenchang's place, the young men at Guanyin's side, and so on, are not urgent matters. It's not too late to recruit them a hundred years from now." As he spoke, the young man placed his large hands firmly on Hu Ziyu's shoulders. "Your Excellency, the future of all the staff at Yutu Temple rests in your hands from now on. I... no, everyone's future happiness depends on you. Please don't be like your predecessors, acting recklessly, aimlessly, randomly pairing up partners, or harassing male colleagues."
"Uh, okay..." Although spirits cannot sweat, Hu Ziyu's vest was already wet and cold.
Hu Ziyu's mind was constantly fretting over his OS crash. But to ensure that his damned little bastard brother and his beloved boyfriend wouldn't fall prey to the horrific clutches of the heavens within a hundred years, he had no choice but to grit his teeth and accept the immensely difficult test ahead.
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