Chapter 314: Pretend to be dead...
At the small, shabby table in the corner of the funeral home cafeteria.
The warm steam from the rice noodles hung in the air, adding a touch of homeliness to the originally chilly place.
The uncle was panting while eating.
The young man was no less impressed, his head almost buried in the bowl, beads of sweat hanging from the tip of his nose, and soup splattered all over his collar.
He freed one hand and casually wiped his mouth, which was shiny with oil, and muttered.
"Dad, eat slowly. Don't choke. There's still a lot to eat!"
But the movements of his hands didn't slow down at all.
Sudden.
A middle-aged woman strode to the table, reached out and grabbed the uncle's ear and pulled it up.
“Old Hu!!!”
The uncle was pulled and the rice noodles on his chopsticks fell back into the bowl, splashing soup all over his face.
He hadn't even swallowed his mouthful of rice noodles when he started whimpering and howling at the top of his lungs.
"What are you doing, wife, it hurts!"
When the woman heard this, she became even angrier and started yelling.
"You're so careless! Don't you know what kind of occasion this is? The eulogy is about to be read, and you still have the mind to sit here and leisurely eat noodles? A bunch of relatives and friends are here, and you, the protagonist, ran away. Tell me, aren't you ashamed?"
Uncle: ...
While you are alive, you should be filial to your parents and have a clear conscience.
People are gone, but those who are still alive must work hard to live!
What's wrong with eating noodles by yourself?
Despite what he thought, the uncle just rubbed his ears and didn't dare to refute.
The young man next to him had been educated like this by his father since he was a child, so he naturally knew what his father was thinking.
But with so many relatives here, it’s okay for my mom to be a little anxious.
Seeing that her husband didn't say anything, the woman looked at her son who was eating noodles.
His anger suddenly shifted, and he raised his hand and hit his son on the back of the head.
"Don't mess around with your dad, just go!"
The young man shrank his neck, with half a piece of rice noodles still in his mouth, and spoke vaguely.
"Mom, I haven't finished eating yet..."
"Eat, eat, eat, that's all you do. You've messed up everything with eating. Come with me!"
The woman rolled her eyes in anger.
While cursing, he used his hands to pull the father and son up.
The uncle was pulled crookedly, still holding the chopsticks tightly in his hand, and the rice noodle soup spilled all over the floor. He struggled and cried out in injustice.
"Wife, I've been hungry all night, so I just ate a few bites to fill my stomach. How can you be considered a fool? Ouch, be gentle!"
"Stop talking nonsense and hurry up. If you delay the important matter, I'll show you how I'll deal with you two!"
The father and son were pulled and staggered all the way, causing several staff members in the cafeteria to cover their mouths and laugh.
There are all kinds of people these days.
Our funeral home has been deserted for so many years. Now there is something fun to watch, and it’s getting better.
…
After leaving the cafeteria, the three of them came to a farewell hall on the far right.
The mourning hall was decorated simply, with layers of white flowers and elegiac couplets, and wreaths were placed in a row against the wall.
In the center hangs a large portrait of the old man. The person in the photo smiles gently, but looking at it now makes people feel sad.
All the relatives were dressed in mourning, and the women had swollen eyes from crying, and they wiped their eyes with their handkerchiefs again and again.
Everyone gathered around the body, crying intermittently. Some of them couldn't hold back and fell to their knees, clapping their hands on the ground and wailing.
"Wow, wow, wow... Old man... why did you leave like this..."
The crying mixed with the mournful music in the mourning hall was heart-wrenching.
It was time to read the eulogy. The uncle walked onto the stage, cleared his throat and began to speak.
"Dear relatives and friends, today we bid farewell to Mr. Hu with heavy hearts..."
The eulogy recounted the old man's life one by one, his hard work for his family, his warm treatment of others, and those trivial daily things.
As the poem was read, the sobbing in the audience became louder. Some people covered their chests with their hands, tears streaming down their faces.
The uncle was reading with tears in his eyes.
A tempting fragrance drifted into the mourning hall.
At first, everyone was still immersed in grief and didn't take it too seriously.
But the fragrance became stronger and stronger, and it penetrated into everyone's nasal cavity domineeringly.
Everyone who was originally crying loudly was attracted by the fragrance and their crying stopped unconsciously.
Tears still hung on the faces of several young people, and their stomachs began to twitch.
The child was still wiping his tears, but when he smelled the fragrance, his eyes widened and his saliva swirled uncontrollably in his mouth.
The uncle could hardly control himself.
After all, he knew that this aroma was unique to the cafeteria's臊子面!
Damn, which good person is so restless as to eat in the cafeteria and pass by here with rice noodles?
He really knows how to pick the right time.
The uncle sniffed and his throat suddenly became blocked.
The four words "hardships and difficulties" in the eulogy flashed before my eyes like double images.
It was as if I saw myself, at the age of fifteen, stealing a 28-bar rifle from home to sell for scrap metal, just to buy a bowl of rice noodles with double the amount of sauce. As a result, the old man beat my butt with a bamboo stick until it bruised.
"Cousin??? What's wrong with you? You're reading!"
The man next to him saw that the uncle was stunned and was so anxious that he kept poking him in the waist.
"Um...Okay..."
The uncle felt a pain in his kidneys, regained consciousness, cleared his throat and was about to continue.
At this moment, a sudden sound was heard in the mourning hall.
Gulu——
Gulu——
The eldest sister lay on the ice coffin and howled, her face covered with snot and tears, but the sudden sound of her intestines interrupted her rhythm, and her cry was louder than that of a funeral.
Everybody's watching.
The eldest sister was so embarrassed that she hurriedly covered her stomach. Her face was burning and she didn't even notice that a drop of crystal clear saliva had fallen on the ice coffin.
She cursed herself inwardly for being useless. She was clearly seeing the old man off, so how could she be so distracted by the fragrance?
soon.
"Pretending to be dead... Pretending to be dead..."
The second sister screamed and jumped back.
Pointing at the old man in the ice coffin, his face was pale, his lips were trembling and he couldn't utter a complete sentence.
The crowd erupted in laughter. "What? What the hell? Explain clearly?"
The second sister pointed at the old man with a trembling finger, her voice filled with tears:
"Dad... Dad has tears in his eyes!"
As soon as these words were spoken, the mourning hall was in an uproar.
Everyone came closer to the ice coffin and took a closer look. They saw that there were tears in the corners of the old man's eyes.
"What's going on?"
Some people took two steps back in fright, and their voices changed in pitch.
An elder immediately picked up the peach wood sword on the altar and muttered something.
"Brother, just go in peace and don't scare those kids!"
Someone else swung the soul-calling banner and was about to hit the ice coffin, shouting.
"Soul returns to soul, earth returns to earth, do not linger in the human world!"
The uncle was also frightened, with cold sweat on his forehead.
Isn’t the old man already dead? What’s going on?
He rushed forward, pushed through the crowd, approached the ice coffin, and wiped the old man's cheek with his hand.
"What the hell, those tears? They're just air conditioning condensation!"
The uncle wiped it and suddenly felt that the touch was not right, and frowned.
"Uh... that's not right... why is it so sticky and silky..."
He looked down at his fingers, suddenly understood something, and turned to glare at his eldest sister.
Sure enough, I found that there were still crystal clear saliva threads hanging from the corners of her mouth.
…
(End of this chapter)
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