Chapter 325: Filial Sons and Desirable Grandsons, You Deserve to Die
Funeral Home Security Department Office.
Early in the morning, Lao Zhou couldn't sit still.
It’s not that I have hemorrhoids, it’s just that this job is too tiring.
They have to go out every five minutes, question the visitors and constantly identify whether they are the relatives of the deceased.
Oh my god, why hasn’t my old partner come yet? Time seems to be passing slower than a snail.
"Old Zhou, Old Zhou!"
The head of security suddenly pushed the door open and slammed the thermos cup onto the table, giving Old Zhou Yi a startled look.
Without saying a word, he pulled up the surveillance video.
In the picture, many people entered the museum holding flower baskets. No tears were seen, but they were smiling so hard that their back teeth were exposed.
"Look at this!" The section chief fast-forwarded to a certain scene. "This girl is holding a black takeout box. How did you let her in?"
Old Zhou shrank his neck.
I remember the girl said with tears in her eyes that this was an urn specially bought for her grandfather. I thought it was very beautiful at that time.
Shit, I got cheated!
"And this..."
The section chief played another clip, "This young man appeared to be in mourning, but as soon as he entered the house, he took off the mourning clothes and was wearing a trendy T-shirt underneath!"
As Lao Zhou listened, sweat began to form on his forehead.
He remembered the young man, who cried so heart-wrenchingly that he almost wiped his snot on him.
Damn it, these bastards, are they making a fool of me?!
The section chief shook his head in disappointment and then clicked on his phone screen.
As a middle-aged man with severe internet addiction, his usual hobby is to open Douyin and watch Erxiao Qingcheng.
It was his previous subconscious action that made him discover this big one.
On the video.
A bowl of steaming crispy rice noodles was placed directly in front of the screen. The rice noodles were snow-white and translucent, while the crispy rice noodles were reddish-brown and crispy. The camera zoomed in and the chewing sound exploded in the mouth, making people's scalps numb.
The background is the funeral home cafeteria where they are.
Everyone showed off their talents in the comment section.
"Hey, this Pink Bird Food is awesome! I managed to sneak in by cosplaying as a filial son today. This wave of profit is huge!"
"Here's the latest strategy, my friends! Wear mourning clothes and hold chrysanthemums to use the VIP channel."
"Hey everyone, if you go left from the funeral home, there's a 'big funeral hut' where the chrysanthemums are the best value. 8 yuan a bunch, 3 bunches for 20 yuan. Don't get ripped off."
"Well, there's no need to go through so much trouble. The old security guard is very sensitive. He'll just whine a few times and then wave you in. That's how the five of us got in."
Lao Zhou: ...
His reading glasses slipped to the tip of his nose and he lost consciousness.
“Why are young people like this nowadays?”
It turns out that all those bastards were lying to him!!!
Damn it!
"Now you know they are crazy, right?"
The section chief continued earnestly.
"So our security department needs to strengthen management. In addition to the normal identification of family relationships, we must also pay attention to analyzing micro-expressions to determine if crying is genuine or fake."
Lao Zhou: ???
What the hell!
He is just an old security guard who is just doing his job and slacking off.
It's not the police!
Old Zhou was so confused that he wanted to cry but had no tears. He tried to struggle.
"Look at my old age and blurry eyes... What if the real family members are stopped outside..."
The section chief was not willing to give him a chance to back out and simply shut him up with one sentence.
“That’s why we need to actively receive training!”
"Look at all the people coming into our cafeteria right now. If their families can't get their noodles, they'll probably complain again..."
Old Zhou opened his mouth and wanted to say something.
The section chief had already stood up and patted him on the shoulder.
"Okay, Lao Zhou, go have some breakfast first. Afterwards, open the materials and study hard. I'm counting on you. By the way, the 100 yuan training fee will be deducted from your salary."
Lao Zhou: ...
MMP!!!
He was the one who was cheated, so he was also the one who had the money deducted.
He was shaking with anger.
He simply slammed the table, ran straight to the cafeteria, and brought back a bowl of hot minced meat noodles.
"Alright, alright, if you're going to play like this, I'm going to fight you today!"
Old Zhou sat down in the security room and placed the bowl of noodles in front of him.
Roll up your sleeves and prepare to start studying how to strengthen management after finishing your meal.
A wave of 'filial sons and grandsons' is coming.
The little girl sobbed. "Uncle, I'm here to see my grandfather off."
Lao Zhou was about to ask a question when he suddenly smelled a sweet scent of perfume.
Take a closer look.
Wow, she even put on full makeup, and the thick black line around her eyes wasn’t blurred at all.
"Don't make it up! If your grandfather knew you were cursing him over a bowl of noodles, he would beat you to death."
The girl blushed and turned and ran away.
that's all.
After some experience summarizing, Lao Zhou successfully identified this group of "family members".
Hehe, he let you off before, but Old Zhou is not the kind of person who lets you off easily!
The frustration in his heart dissipated a lot, and he returned to the table and picked up a piece of rice noodles with chopsticks.
The rice noodles absorbed the broth and slid into my mouth smoothly. As soon as the tip of my tongue touched the oily texture, a tingling sensation ran through the back of my head.
The crispy whistles are fried until they look like they are coated with a layer of amber sugar, with a crispy texture and a chewy texture, and a salty fragrance with a hint of sweet wine.
As expected, Lao Zhou had a great time eating.
Those diners who were discovered by him were also drooling and very greedy.
Just eat it, the key is the smacking sound in your mouth, which makes your teeth itch!
Do you have any sense of public morality?
Don’t you know that there are a group of starving ghosts nearby?
This old guy is not afraid of being stuffed to death!
The diners were indignant and simply covered their ears and thought of a solution.
The ears are blocked, but the problem is that there are still two holes on the nose.
The strong aroma was like two omnipresent ghosts, drilling into their noses and digging in the places they were most greedy for...
Ah...I'm going crazy!
I've never been so jealous of a job at a funeral home as I am today!
"uncle……"
There was a diner who was unwilling to give up and approached Lao Zhou unwillingly and asked.
"Old man, are you looking for someone to keep watch at night? Or someone to make up corpses? Anyone who can burn the stove will do."
"Yeah, working in a funeral home is very suitable for us young people. We don't have to interact with people, the boss doesn't show up often, and the clients we deal with don't talk. If the client does talk, then I get a little more angry. This is simply the ideal job for someone like me!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, working is bound to make you crazy. It's better to deal with the dead. It doesn't matter if the daily salary is 2,000 or not, as long as I can eat noodles..."
Old Zhou raised his eyes and glanced at the young people who were stopped by him, looking at them as if they were fools.
"Oh, do you really think it's a good job here?
Every line of work has its own difficulties.
I've been exposed to countless deaths while working here, whether they were burned to death, suffered from epilepsy, or were severely corrupted. To be honest, these things really test one's mental endurance."
He paused, picked up a piece of crispy food and put it in his mouth, chewing it with a crunching sound.
"Not to mention, I just deducted a hundred yuan from your training fee in order to see through you!"
…
(End of this chapter)
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