Chapter Fourteen isn't worth your time either.
However, when she tentatively mentioned it to her three sons, the eldest son, Zhong Chengfa, was the first to jump out and object, the second son, Zhong Chengren, said some unpleasant things, and even the third son, Zhong Chengyi, looked unwilling.
The children are grown up and have their own ideas, so what can she do?
In the end, she could only suppress those inappropriate thoughts deep in her heart.
What about this lifetime?
Heaven gave her a second chance at life, could it be...?
However, when she thought of Song Xingzhi's eyes, filled with disappointment and loneliness, when he last came to see her in her previous life, the tiny flame that had just risen in Zhang Chunxue's heart was extinguished by her own actions.
She gave a bitter smile. In this life, all she wanted was to protect Zhong Xiaoxiao and her daughter Zhou Mingli, and to protect this family. She dared not ask for anything more.
Once the rice porridge had cooled down, Zhang Chunxue carefully fed it to Zhong Yuanyuan.
After finishing a bowl of rice porridge, the little guy smacked his lips, still wanting more.
Zhang Chunxue held the child and gently patted her back, but her ears were always perked up, paying attention to the movements in the main room.
She didn't know how long she waited, so long that her little granddaughter in her arms was almost asleep, when finally the courtyard gate outside creaked open, followed by the sound of footsteps fading into the distance.
They're gone.
Zhang Chunxue breathed a barely audible sigh of relief.
She then walked to the kitchen door, poked her head out, and called out towards the main room, "Xiaoxiao, the porridge is cold. Go and get a bowl for your sister-in-law."
Before she could finish speaking and receive a response from Zhong Xiaoxiao, a figure emerged from the room of the second brother, Zhong Chengren.
It's Song Xingzhi!
Zhang Chunxue's pupils suddenly contracted, and she froze completely.
Why hasn't he left yet?
Song Xingzhi walked straight up to her, looked at her calmly, and said, "Chunxue... Sister-in-law, I want to talk to you about something."
Zhang Chunxue's heart skipped a beat and instantly jumped into her throat.
She instinctively hugged the child in her arms tighter, her voice a little dry: "Talk...talk about what?"
Song Xingzhi's gaze lingered briefly on the child in her arms before returning to her face: "I just chatted with Zhong Chengren for a bit. But there are some things I feel I still need to talk to you, the head of the household... mainly about your family's current situation."
Judging from his tone, he wanted to talk about serious matters.
Zhang Chunxue composed herself. Although she was feeling quite nervous, she nodded and said, "Okay, then... let's talk at the courtyard gate."
She carried the child and walked out first.
Song Xingzhi followed silently behind her.
The courtyard was quiet; Dr. Li and Zhou Mingli had probably already gone back inside.
The door to the main room was also closed, leaving only a dim yellow light shining from the kitchen.
The two walked to the courtyard gate one after the other. A night breeze blew by, carrying a slight chill.
Song Xingzhi stopped walking, and Zhang Chunxue also stopped and turned to face him.
Just as Zhang Chunxue thought he was about to get down to business, Song Xingzhi suddenly asked, "Are you avoiding me?"
Zhang Chunxue's face turned pale instantly, as if her secret had been exposed on the spot, and she was flustered and at a loss for what to do.
"No...no!" she blurted out, her voice trembling slightly. "Why...why would I avoid you?"
But her shifty eyes had already betrayed her inner turmoil.
Song Xingzhi gave her a deep look, his gaze complex and unreadable, seemingly carrying a hint of self-mockery, yet also something else entirely.
He sighed softly, his tone calm yet carrying a subtle hint of detachment: "You don't need to avoid me, and I won't bother you. I know you don't like me."
These words were like a small hammer, gently tapping on Zhang Chunxue's heart. They didn't hurt, but they left her feeling suffocated.
"So, you can treat me as an ordinary brigade secretary, or... treat me as Xiaoxiao's teacher." Song Xingzhi's voice was very soft, as if afraid of disturbing the night.
Zhang Chunxue felt even more choked up by his words and didn't know how to respond for a moment.
She felt her cheeks burning, and even her ears were burning.
She bit her lower lip, forcing herself to calm down, and changed the subject, saying, "Secretary Song... didn't you say... you wanted to talk to me about serious business?"
A fleeting look of hurt crossed Song Xingzhi's eyes, but he quickly concealed it.
He composed himself, his voice returning to its previous low tone: "Yes, it's mainly about your family."
“Your second son, Zhong Chengren, is indeed quite irresponsible,” Song Xingzhi said, his tone carrying a hint of sternness. “His own wife had such a high fever, and he, as her husband, didn’t even notice?”
Upon hearing this, Zhang Chunxue felt somewhat embarrassed, after all, he was her son.
She sighed, "I'm partly to blame for this. I didn't discipline him properly, and I didn't notice that Mingli was sick... Once Mingli is better, I'll definitely give Chengren a good talking-to and teach him a lesson!"
After they finished speaking, an awkward silence fell between them.
Only the night breeze rustled the leaves of the old locust tree in the courtyard.
Zhang Chunxue held the child, her head down, her fingers unconsciously caressing the child's soft swaddling clothes. Her heart felt like a jumble of emotions, a mix of sourness, bitterness, and a strange sense of unease.
Actually, whether in her past life or this life, she didn't have much contact with Song Xingzhi.
She always felt that the reason Song Xingzhi treated her differently was probably because of the vague affection he had when they first met, and later... later, she had saved him by chance.
What he saw was perhaps just the image of a strong and independent widow, and a kind savior.
But if he knew about my deep-seated calculations, my weaknesses, and my petty, unsavory thoughts...
Zhang Chunxue gave a self-deprecating smile.
He was certain that he would no longer like her.
Zhang Chunxue took a deep breath, raised her head, and met Song Xingzhi's deep gaze: "Secretary Song, actually... actually I'm not what you imagine at all. I'm just... a very selfish and ordinary woman."
Saying those words actually made her feel a little relieved, as if a huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders.
"I'm petty, I like to hold grudges, and sometimes I'm really weak, not as strong as you see me at all."
"When I do many things, I always think of myself first, my children, and my family."
"I even... I even thought that if I could find someone to rely on, I wouldn't have to work so hard."
She lowered her eyes, not daring to look Song Xingzhi in the eye, and her voice also became softer.
“I am not worthy of your kindness to me, nor do I deserve your... attention.”
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