The proprietress touched the broken chain of the crystal pendant and finally gritted her teeth.
"Okay! I'll do as you say! But this layout... My shop makes 100,000 yuan a month. If we have to close for renovations, the losses will be considerable."
"You're making money through shady means, you know that?"
I picked up half a candle and waved it in front of her.
Candle wax dripped onto her sequined apron: "The ventilation ducts go straight to the foundation, gathering all the cold, damp energy from underground. The plastic skulls are all made of chemical materials, attracting only wandering ghosts. You think the screams of tourists are exciting, but actually you're selling your own yang energy as a ticket!"
"Underworld money?"
The proprietress looked up abruptly, her manicured nails digging into her palms: "I just made 150,000 last month! How did this money disappear like that?"
I sneered: "You think money comes for free? Since last month, have you been waking up at 3 a.m. every day, feeling anxious? Your lower back is always sweating, and no amount of heat packs seem to help?"
The proprietress turned pale and plopped down on the floor: "You...how did you know? You installed surveillance cameras in my house?"
I'll install your sister!
I cursed inwardly, "Am I really that weird?"
"Because you are trading your lifespan for money."
I pointed to the ventilation duct: "This duct is like a straw, sucking your yang energy down into the ground. At first, you just have trouble sleeping and your back and legs hurt, but as it goes down..."
I paused deliberately: "Look at Xia, isn't the bluish birthmark on the back of her neck getting darker? That's a sign of stagnation in the yin meridians."
The proprietress was trembling all over. She turned to stare at Xia, who was still in a daze, and suddenly grabbed my hand: "Master, save me! How do you fix it? I'll do whatever you say!"
"First, demolish the fake brick wall in the southwest corner."
I kicked the foam brick wall in the corner: "That place is the wealth position, but you blocked it with a plastic skull, which is like welding the door of the treasury shut. Replace it with a real earthenware jar, fill it with dried mugwort and grains, and let the mouth of the jar face east, towards the direction of sunrise."
"And these LED will-o'-the-wisps."
I unscrewed the purple light in the corner: "Cool light belongs to yin, so replace it with a warm yellow night light, keep it on 24 hours a day. It looks like a lamp burning in front of a Buddha statue, but it actually replenishes your yang energy. The most important thing is the ventilation duct."
I tapped on the pipe opening: "It must be sealed off and converted into a glass display case. Inside, there should be real stone lions, with their heads facing outwards and a copper coin in their mouths. Remember, the copper coin must be thickly polished; it must be a 'tomb-protecting coin' dug up from an old grave."
Xiaoyue suddenly interjected, "Is feng shui really that amazing? We all believe in science these days..."
"science?"
I turned to look at her: "Why do you think those bridges were opened on auspicious days? Why is there a bronze tripod in the CBD? And why do you think those giant wind turbines on the mountain had to be built on the dragon vein nodes?"
I lowered my voice: "That was all done by the Dragon Slayer Team."
"The Dragon Slayer Team?" The landlady and Xiaoyue exclaimed in unison.
"Never heard of it?"
I pointed to the overpass outside the window: "Remember Eagle Beak Rock, which was blasted up in the west of the city two years ago? It was a perfectly good rocky mountain, and suddenly they said there was a risk of landslides, so they blasted it flat in three days."
"And then there's the Giant Python Peak from last year's news, where climbers hammered in twenty nails, and coincidentally, they hit the 'seven-inch' spot. Do you think that's just a coincidence?"
The proprietress suddenly remembered something: "The internet says that nail damaged the geological structure and they were sentenced to prison..."
"The conviction was for the crime that is clearly stated."
I sneered: "The real reason is that the stone has taken shape. After absorbing the essence of the sun and moon for another three years, it can become a 'stone essence'."
"The Dragon Slayer Team specializes in this kind of work, eliminating 'earth vein spirits' that are about to become powerful in advance, so as to prevent them from harming the human world."
Xiaoyue listened intently: "That wind turbine..."
"It's all a front for the Dragon Slayer Team."
I tapped her forehead: "Didn't you see that the generator blades are all three-bladed? That's the Taoist formation for 'slaying the three evil spirits.' But you can just listen to these stories as stories; if you explain them, you'll be 'scientific.'"
I tapped on the ventilation duct opening: "Seal this broken duct shut, turn it into a display case, put a couple of stone lion models on it as a gimmick, it'll ward off evil spirits without delaying your renovation."
The proprietress's eyes lit up, and she typed rapidly on her phone's calculator.
"This way, the renovation cost can be reduced by 30%, and we can also create a photo spot... Master, you are truly a business genius!"
"Stop talking nonsense."
I quickly said, "Remember, don't open the door to welcome guests before the talisman is set up. If you attract any troublesome ghosts, I won't have time to clean up your mess every day. My schedule for square dancing is fuller than your cash register's bills."
The proprietress nodded like a chick pecking at rice, then suddenly remembered something: "How should the Five Emperor Coins be arranged? Do we need to string them together with red string?"
"Do whatever you want."
As I walked towards the door, I said, "Just don't string them together and wear them as a bracelet. Have you ever seen a boss strung money around in his hand? Even ghosts would laugh at your ignorance."
The proprietress's voice came from behind me on the phone: "Old Wang? Bring me a pair of stone lions, real stone, not plastic! Oh, and also ask Master Zhang at the City God Temple for me..."
Well, it seems this businessman's mind has finally turned to how to leverage trends for marketing.
But that's fine, as long as she places the talisman securely.
Even if ten more female ghosts came, they would still have to obediently detour around the stone lion.
As I was about to take a taxi with Xiaoyue, the landlady suddenly chased after us.
He pulled out a bulging envelope and stuffed it into my hand.
"Master, please accept this small token of my appreciation! If someone were to die today, my shop would be smashed into a haunted ruin, and I'd be stuck selling glowing skulls on the street for the rest of my life!"
I felt the thickness of the envelope and put it in my pocket without hesitation.
Cause and effect are real; those who take money are obligated to solve problems for others.
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