As soon as Xiaoyue stepped out of the glass door of the psychic studio, she was like a broken record that had been played repeatedly.
White Crocs kicked at the pebbles on the ground, and the ripped holes at the knees of his sky-blue jeans were dazzling.
"Master, what should we do if we encounter something unclean and don't know how to exorcise ghosts?"
I'll tell you, it's simple. Just keep a handful of salt or chili peppers in your pocket, or even spicy strips, so you can eat them when you're hungry.
"ah?"
Xiaoyue was bewildered: "I know about salt, I used to think it was just a rumor, but I didn't expect it to actually work. But why is the ghost afraid of spicy food? And spicy strips? Should I scare it or feed it? Is it like my roommate, who can't eat hot pot but insists on ordering extra spicy?"
What's the problem?
I was both amused and exasperated.
"Ghosts belong to Yin, chili peppers belong to Yang. Do you understand that Yin and Yang counteract each other? It's the same principle as you female college students drinking iced milk tea with hand warmers."
"master!"
She suddenly grabbed my sleeve, and her Crocs stepped into a puddle on the side of the road.
"Do you think the Dragon Slayer Team is real? The stone turtle on the hill behind our school was blown up last year. Was it because it was trying to become a spirit?"
“They’re building charging stations on the hill behind you.”
I looked at the soles of her shoes, which were swollen from being soaked in the puddle: "But to be honest, that rock looks like a turtle..."
"It really looks like it!"
Her eyes lit up: "We even engraved 'Pass the postgraduate entrance exam' on it! Master, do you think engraving it disrupts the feng shui?"
"It's okay to carve words."
I took out the skull keychain the landlady had given me and tossed it around in my hand.
“But you shouldn’t carve on the glans – that’s the stone turtle’s ‘anger point,’ it’s like tickling the turtle. If it feels comfortable, it will slack off when it’s supposed to rain.”
"ah?"
She exclaimed, "No wonder it didn't snow last winter! What should we do? Should we put on a band-aid?"
I almost choked on my own saliva.
"No need. We'll plant a tree near the stone turtle's tail in the spring, that'll be like grooming it."
As we passed a barbecue stall, she suddenly grabbed me: "Master, do ghosts also come to eat skewers? Do you think that female ghost we just saw was a glutton in her previous life?"
"She was your senior when she passed away."
I watched the kebab vendor flipping the meat skewers: "He died in the torrential rain in Tongning Town. He and his exam admission ticket were swept into the sewer. So don't keep saying 'you've got water in your brain' in the dorm. It's bad luck."
Xiaoyue suddenly covered her mouth, revealing half of the cartoon bear's face through the neckline of her white T-shirt, as if she had been frightened.
"Has she been reincarnated yet? Could she become my junior in the next grade?"
"reincarnation?"
I took the gluten from the kebab vendor: "She has to go to the City God Temple to report and reissue her exam admission ticket from ten years ago before she can go through the process—even the ghost world values complete documentation."
"So troublesome?"
She took a bite of the grilled corn, and the juice splashed onto her Crocs.
"If I forget to bring my exam admission ticket in the future, can I say that a ghost borrowed it?"
"If you dare to say it, the proctor will dare to fail you."
I rolled my eyes at her: "Hurry up and eat your corn, or the ghost will really come and steal your snacks—the ghostly aura of roasted corn is popular in the underworld lately."
She was so frightened that she quickly hid the corn behind her back.
I looked at the fluorescent highlights on the ends of her hair.
"But don't wear Crocs to those kinds of places anymore. Crocs are drafty and can attract evil spirits, especially the third hole on the left foot."
She quickly hid her feet behind a tree, her voice trembling with tears: "Master, don't scare me! These shoes are a popular item I bought on Pinduoduo!"
"A best-selling item?"
I sneered: "The 'house-protecting charms' on Pinduoduo are printed, you know. Do you think they've worked for the shop owner?"
Under the sun, her Crocs suddenly looked exceptionally translucent, as if they were leaking through a sieve.
"master."
She suddenly leaned closer and lowered her voice: "Do you think it's too late for me to change my shoes now?"
"It's too late."
I patted her on the shoulder: "But you can stuff spicy strips into the hole of your shoe. Ghosts will avoid the smell of spiciness, just like you would avoid the smell of snail rice noodles."
"real?"
Her eyes lit up: "Then I'll go buy Weilong milk tea tomorrow and stuff my hands full!"
Looking at her serious expression, I suddenly felt that this girl was cuter than a ghost.
At least, her foolishness revealed a clear sincerity, which was much more genuine than the landlady's sequined apron.
...
When they arrived at Tongning Community, where Mengmeng lived, Xiaoyue's white Crocs suddenly stopped moving and she couldn't kick the pebbles anymore.
She stared at the rusty iron gate, her light blue jeans clinging to her legs in the wind, and the cartoon bear on her T-shirt drooping its head like a wilted eggplant.
"Last month she said she'd go out for hot pot together after her exams..."
Her voice was muffled as she rubbed the fallen leaves on the ground with her toes. "Now she's so badly burned that she's unrecognizable. The hospitals won't admit her anymore and told her to go home and prepare for her funeral."
I looked up at the crooked buildings in the neighborhood, and faded red underwear hung on the clotheslines, looking like a wilted funeral banner.
"Let's go up and check first. If his lifespan hasn't ended, there's still hope."
"Master, you must help her!"
She suddenly grabbed my sleeve, her Crocs rustling on the floor.
"If that evil spirit dares to bother her again, I'll stuff its mouth full of spicy strips!"
She clenched her fists, squeezing the cartoon bear's eyes out of shape, making it look like she was struggling against the air.
The streetlights in the residential area were dim, and smelly garbage bags were piled up against the walls.
Several skinny stray cats squatted nearby, their tails curled into question marks.
A pink dress was hanging on the third-floor balcony.
Xiaoyue said it was what Mengmeng wore when she played with the Ouija board last time.
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