Chapter 11, Section 1
I also think Chapter 1 is good.
The biggest setback in Madam Qin's life was the death of her daughter-in-law.
Life and death are just ordinary things; Madam Qin understood this principle when she was still a child.
The year her mother died, Madam Qin was only five years old. It was a clear, beautiful day; she remembered it clearly. The sky was a perfect blue, a single, solid expanse, like glass. She was being carried by servants to the garden to look at the flowers for a long time. When they came inside, her forehead was covered in sweat. Her mother saw this and, while wiping her sweat with a handkerchief, scolded the servants for not watching over her properly. Then she cried out in pain. The doctor arrived quickly, but her mother still died, dying a very painful death. Her body was contorted, her fingernails were scratched off, and the bedding was covered in scratches and blood. Because of this, she never grew long fingernails for the rest of her life. She didn't cry when her mother died, nor did she cry when she saw her mother being carried into the coffin, because she didn't know what was happening. Her wet nurse pinched her, and it hurt a lot. She burst into tears, wanting to find her mother, but her mother didn't respond. Her father picked her up, and she told him about her grievances. She said the wet nurse had pinched her so hard, but her father said the wet nurse did the right thing, because her mother had died, and as a daughter, she had to cry. She didn't understand, but she still listened to her father and cried bitterly. She never saw her mother again. When she asked others where her mother had gone, they all said they hadn't seen her and didn't know. After asking several times and receiving the same answer each time, she stopped asking. Because of this incident, she wasn't too grief-stricken when she later lost her husband young, because she had already understood that everyone dies eventually, even gods die, so death isn't a big deal.
But the death of the daughter-in-law was different.
Her mother died of illness, and her husband died from a fall from a horse while drunk. Each had their own cause and effect, and it had nothing to do with her.
She is responsible for her daughter-in-law's death.
The daughter-in-law died in childbirth.
I first met Li Zhaohua at my sister-in-law's birthday banquet. I liked her at first sight. I had heard of my sister-in-law's niece before; everyone said she was beautiful, virtuous, and kind. Seeing her in person, I could confirm it was true. She was in a very good mood that day.
She was fortunate. Although she lost her mother at the age of five and her father remarried quickly, her stepmother was a truly good person. She didn't suffer any hardship under her stepmother's care. Her stepmother was too gentle and couldn't control her own son, and her father only spoiled him. As a result, her younger brother became a good-for-nothing, spending his days indulging in pleasure. Even after their father's death, while still in mourning, he ran away. Her stepmother was helpless, only crying and begging her to help her brother. After all, he was her brother, and she naturally wanted the best for him. She tried to persuade him many times, but it was no use. He always agreed but never changed. She knew this brother was beyond redemption. Sure enough, not long after her stepmother passed away, her brother came to borrow money. It wasn't much, and she always gave it to him, even knowing he was using it for entertainment. If she didn't give it to him, he wouldn't come back. She needed to see him in person to offer her advice; she genuinely cared for him. Later, she stopped giving him money because her husband had died. Her child was still young, and the clan members were eyeing her covetously. Her younger brother came again demanding money, but she refused. He became enraged and uttered some absurd words. She knew in her heart that her brother wasn't as important as her son, so she used those words as an excuse to make a huge scene, severing all ties with her family afterward. She never blamed her brother; she believed he was just immature, still a child, and that with some hardship, he would grow up and be alright. Her brother kept her waiting for a long time—over ten years. His eldest daughter got married, and he developed new feelings for his family. He remembered his sister, with whom he hadn't been in contact for years, and used his wife's birthday as an excuse to ask her to see him, hoping they could reconcile. She, of course, was willing to go. If her brother's father had improved, her stepmother in heaven would be comforted, and her guilt would lessen.
Because he was happy, he drank a lot of wine during the meal and got a little drunk. When he was drunk, he started talking nonsense, grabbing the girl's hand and asking her to be his daughter-in-law.
Being her daughter-in-law is a good thing. Her son is also excellent in every way. He became a scholar at a young age, and everyone says he has a bright future.
Later, when I sobered up and thought about it, I felt really ashamed and embarrassed. It was so offensive that I never had the face to go out again.
Unexpectedly, a few days later, her sister-in-law came to her door and asked if the marriage agreement made that day still stood.
It counts! How can it not count! If it doesn't count, isn't that insulting that girl? She deserves to die!
A letter called her son back from studying abroad. She excitedly told him that she had found him a good wife.
She didn't think anything was wrong. Marriage is a major life event, and it's usually arranged by parents and matchmakers. That's what happened to her back then. Whoever her father told her to marry, she married. Would her own parents harm their own child?
But her son coldly refused, saying she was being unreasonable.
Her heart sank.
It wasn't until then that she calmed down.
She was so overjoyed that she forgot how opinionated her son was.
But she had already agreed.
She recounted the girl's good qualities once again in detail, hoping her son would change his mind.
Her son remained silent, and she knew that there was no way to change it.
She said she would talk to her sister-in-law.
I felt terrible. This not only tarnished the girl's reputation but also hurt my sister-in-law...
The son understood this principle, of course, and not wanting to put his mother in a difficult position, he changed his words.
He agreed to the marriage for his mother's sake.
So this whole thing was fundamentally flawed.
Unfortunately, she was completely oblivious, optimistically believing that no one could dislike such a wonderful girl, and therefore she would become better.
The daughter-in-law is of course good. She is beautiful and talented, filial and thrifty, well-educated and polite. Her husband is often away from home after marriage, and her mother-in-law thinks he is not living a good life. However, she comforts her mother-in-law, saying that a man should be like this so that he can stand on his own two feet in the future. She does not feel wronged at all, but only admires him. She even asks her husband about his preferences and wants to make some clothes for him herself.
She was genuinely moved.
She thought it was thanks to the Bodhisattva's blessing that she had such a good daughter-in-law.
The year my son took the exam, he was nineteen, and I decided to take the exam.
She and her daughter-in-law packed his luggage and saw him off.
Not long after her son left, her daughter-in-law fell ill, lost her appetite, and refused to call a doctor.
Of course she knew the reason, but her daughter-in-law was young and inexperienced, and it would be embarrassing for her to say it out loud. So she considerately didn't say much. But when her daughter-in-law was still unwell for half a month, she panicked and couldn't care less about anything else. She hurriedly asked someone to fetch a doctor.
The doctor diagnosed a pregnancy.
She burst into tears on the spot.
Her husband is an only child, and so is her son. She has been longing for a grandchild for far too long…
He personally saw the doctor off, and then opened the ancestral hall to respectfully inform the ancestors and ask for their blessings so that the Liu family would have double happiness next year.
Our ancestors have manifested their power.
The son became the third-ranked scholar in the imperial examination, and many people said that the daughter-in-law's unborn child would look like a boy.
The day the prefectural government announced the good news, Pingcheng was ablaze with red – a sight I'll never forget.
However, rumors and gossip also spread into Pingcheng along with the joy.
Princess, Miss of the Prime Minister's Mansion, Third-Rank Scholar...
The daughter-in-law panicked for the first time.
He panicked and didn't say anything, just kept wiping away tears in front of her with red eyes.
She panicked, feeling uncertain.
But what's so good about this? A smart person wouldn't take it upon themselves.
She comforted her daughter-in-law, saying, "You should know that your own husband is not a heartless person."
Feelings are like drinking water; only the drinker knows whether it's hot or cold.
Her son was certainly kind to her, but she wasn't as clear-headed as others in how she treated them.
So she said the wrong thing.
Because of those romantic rumors, although the house was filled with joy, sorrow was mixed in with the happiness, and this sorrow grew stronger and heavier, weighing on everyone's hearts...
Finally, the son returned home, cried once, and went to pay respects to his ancestors.
She was really pushed too far, and unconsciously became stupid, acting recklessly in a panic.
Before her son could even speak to his wife, she pulled him aside and asked if the rumors were true—about a princess, a young lady from the Prime Minister's residence…
She heard him say yes.
In an instant, she felt as if she had been struck by lightning, her soul seemingly blasted away.
When she came to her senses, she heard shouts outside. The maids were yelling, "Quickly, find a doctor!"
The daughter-in-law started labor.
The birth lasted a day and a night; the mother died and the child survived.
She felt that she was the one who caused her daughter-in-law's death, that she was the culprit. She thought that such a beautiful girl would not have ended up in such a tragic way if she hadn't married into their family.
She felt guilty.
No matter how successful or glamorous her son is, she still hates him.
Since a princess cannot become a concubine, the Grand Secretary's daughter won.
So what if she's the daughter of a high-ranking official? Getting involved with a married man, she's no good.
She doesn't see her.
She delayed until she was nineteen, refusing to go to the capital for the wedding ceremony. When she heard that she had given birth to a daughter, she was overjoyed, but then she learned that she had suffered a difficult childbirth and barely survived...
They were all women.
Her heart softened, and she sent someone to give her some things.
But she will not go to the capital.
She never went to the capital in her entire life.
For her grandson.
The poor child was born without a mother. His father was not only his father but also someone else's father, and his stepmother was such a person... He only had her, so she was his grandmother alone.
She owes him a debt she can never repay.
But she was destined to die.
What will he do without her?
She began to fear death.
But death is inevitable.
She knew that.
She had to do something to put her mind at ease.
She saw a way out in a girl.
She wanted to find a suitable person for her grandson to take her place and wholeheartedly care for him.
She won't live to see her grandson's future. What kind of wife will they find for him? They shouldn't do anything immoral, but who knows what the future holds?
She knew that by doing this, her granddaughter-in-law would inevitably suffer injustice in the future...
She may feel wronged, but all she wants is for her grandson to be well.
Madam Qin's kindness towards Shanlai stemmed from her love for Liu Min. She viewed Shanlai as a reflection of Liu Min's future, and her kindness towards her was for Liu Min's sake.
"I think it's great too, it's really great no matter how you look at it..."
A note from the author:
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