Chapter 56 Have you ever heard of parents and children being separated...?
Zen Master Hongche agreed to Shanlai's request to become his disciple. He was the most benevolent person; he would always grant requests from people unless they asked him to do something bad.
However, Shanlai's face did not show joy; instead, it revealed a faint worry.
"Master, though I am devoted to learning, it is inevitable that people in this world have limited freedom, especially those like me... Master, I work as a maid in a wealthy household, toiling away day after day, rarely having the opportunity to go out..." She continued...
“Master, I will do everything in my power to find an opportunity… Master, I have been poor since childhood, and my life has been difficult. Only because of a fortuitous encounter many years ago did I learn a few strokes of painting… This is the only thing in this world that can make me forget my worries…”
Feeling ashamed in an instant, Shanlai suddenly realized he could no longer stay there, so he hurriedly said goodbye. His benefactor was gone, and Ziyu didn't wait for him. He ran out of the mountain gate in one breath until he could run no more and leaned on a small tree by the mountain path, panting and sweating.
She wasn't genuinely interested in becoming a disciple; most of what she said was for ulterior motives.
Who am I? If I'm really not Yao Shanlai, then what exactly happened to me? Do I still have any relatives alive...?
The thought that there might still be people in this world connected to her warmed her heart...
She had to find them, so that she would no longer be alone. Her family, those connected to her by blood, those who truly cared for her, those she could trust unconditionally… she had to find them.
She must come to Huguo Temple, and she must come often; she must remember, she absolutely must remember.
Compared to this goal, learning to draw is not important at all.
But she deceived people under the guise of learning to paint.
It turns out she was inherently despicable.
But there was no time to worry about that now.
She calmed down and stood under the huge pine tree in front of the mountain gate. By the time Ziyu hurriedly caught up, she was already able to smile naturally.
Upon seeing the person, Ziyu's heart settled back down, and she regained the energy to do other things. With a pout, she blurted out a resentful remark, "Why did you run off all by yourself? You scared me to death without waiting for me."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sister." Shanlai laughed and said, "I was just too happy, sister. A high monk in this temple agreed to take me as his disciple. His paintings are really good. I was so happy that I forgot everything. When I came to my senses, I was already here."
"Really?" Ziyu forgot her complaints and was only happy that she had done good. "Huguo Temple is a royal temple with many highly skilled people!" She then asked, "Whom did you take as your master?"
Shanlai announced Hongche's name, unaware of his identity, but Ziyu did. She stared in astonishment, her mouth agape, and grabbed Shanlai's arm, shaking it violently. "Really? Really! My God! That's the abbot of Huguo Temple! The abbot!"
"Shanlai, you're really lucky. You're so different from the rest of us..."
After the initial excitement, Ziyu suddenly said something in a rather subtle tone.
On the way back, Ziyu didn't say a word. Since she didn't speak, Shanlai didn't speak either, and the two of them remained silent.
However, after returning home, Ziyu was very happy to tell everyone at Guangyitang about Shanlai's experience, which made the girls grab Shanlai's arms and ask her to tell the story again in detail.
Shan Lai spoke what he could say, and surprisingly, his words made sense.
The room was full of people, except for Shanlai, all of whom were from the capital region. They all knew something about Hongche, so they started talking about it, adding and supplementing each other's stories. In front of Shanlai, they told about seven or eight parts of Hongche's life.
Originally a young master from a prominent family in Kyoto, he frequented bustling cities and had a number of romantic affairs. Everyone thought he was just a playboy, but unexpectedly, he later became the top scholar in the imperial examination. Even more surprisingly, after serving as an official for a few years, he shaved his head, became a monk, and practiced asceticism. He even retreated to the deep mountains for more than 20 years to study Buddhism. After achieving great success, he returned to the temple to write books, preach, and spread the Dharma. Six years ago, Dachengen Temple was renamed Huguo Temple, and he was appointed abbot of Huguo Temple by the current emperor.
Green Willow said something similar to what Purple Willow had said earlier, "Shanlai, you're really amazing. You managed to get involved with such an important person after just one trip. I'm so lucky to be friends with someone like you..." However, it wasn't in Purple Willow's subtle tone, so Shanlai just smiled this time as a response to Green Willow.
In truth, Shanlai didn't care about Hongche at all; what she cared about was Huguo Temple and herself.
She casually asked the group of people around her, "You're all from Kyoto, have you heard of any stories of parents and children being separated? About six years ago..." As soon as she finished speaking, everyone around her suddenly looked at her. Feeling guilty, she became flustered and stammered, "Today at Huguo Temple, I passed by the Buddha and saw a woman kneeling on a prayer mat, kowtowing repeatedly and chanting, begging the Buddha to bless her to find her daughter... I felt really sorry for her, and my heart ached. I really wanted to help her..." She made up a plausible excuse for herself.
Hearing her say this, Ziyu asked in confusion, "Weren't we walking together? How come I didn't see this person?"
Shanlai quickly said, "It happened after you rushed to find the outhouse, sister. At that time, I was only with that guest monk, and I saw both of them."
"I see." Ziyu nodded and stopped asking questions. Then she began to advise Shanlai, "I know you are kind-hearted, but I have to tell you, she has already prayed to Buddha, which shows that she can't do anything about it. What can you do to help her? How can someone who was separated from their family six years ago be found again? How many people died that year!"
Shanlai's mind raced, and he quickly asked, "What happened that year?"
Upon hearing this, Ziyu immediately looked at her with an incredulous expression, saying incredulously, "How could you ask such a question! Six years ago, the emperor was replaced! It was truly... truly... half of the western city was burned down, and here, there were soldiers everywhere, coming and going to arrest people... arresting them to behead them, the bricks of the execution ground were soaked through!"
Hearing this, Chengfeng remembered and said, "There's a fool in our village, but he wasn't always foolish; he was actually quite clever! His family was hoping he'd pass the imperial examinations and become a scholar! But he was unlucky. Six years ago, when he was only fourteen or fifteen, he was walking at night when he saw soldiers hauling away corpses, one cart after another... dumping them into the ditch, filling it up... After the soldiers left, wolves ran over, ripped open the corpses, and ate their intestines. He saw this and was terrified... From then on, he went mad. One moment he'd be drooling and grinning like an idiot, and the next he'd suddenly jump up, clutch his head, scream, and run around wildly..."
Some of the more timid ones had already started crying quietly in fear. Ziyu, annoyed by their cries, scolded them, "What are you crying for? It's not you who's being killed. You're so scared, you're really pathetic!"
The little girl stopped crying. Ziyu glared at her, then turned to look at Shanlai. Seeing that Shanlai looked dazed, Ziyu suspected that she was also frightened, so she asked, "What's wrong? Are you alright?"
"fine!"
He stared wide-eyed and shook his head repeatedly in denial.
"It's good that she's alright." Ziyu continued, "Don't even think about meddling in other people's business. You really can't do anything about it."
Shanlai didn't speak, he just nodded.
At night, Shanlai lay in bed and made a decision: she would not think about it anymore.
Forgetting might be a good thing. If the past is too heavy, she might not be able to bear it. Before her father died, didn't he tell her never to come to the capital? She had to consider whether those forgotten memories were really important compared to the current peace and stability. Clear-headedness might mean death, while being confused might mean survival. What should she choose?
She wanted to live; she was determined to live.
Never mind, let's not go to Huguo Temple. Who knows why Hongche agreed to her so readily? Does he know something? If so, will he ruin her current peace and tranquility?
I was so scared I couldn't sleep, so scared I didn't dare go out.
She hadn't left the house, so Ziyu asked her, "Didn't you become an apprentice to learn painting? Why haven't you gone to Huguo Temple? If you don't go diligently, do you expect the abbot to come to your door to teach you?"
Unexpectedly, Shanlai said, "I don't want to become an apprentice anymore. I must have been out of my mind to say I wanted to become an apprentice that day. I'm just a maid, I can't even leave the house, yet I still think about becoming an apprentice and learning skills. How ridiculous..."
Ziyu didn't find it laughable, only infuriating. How could someone be so ungrateful for their good fortune! Who did she think she was? A princess, a noblewoman, or a rich young lady? Didn't she know perfectly well? She was just a maid! A maid who could gain the favor of a powerful figure and easily change her destiny—how many people dreamed of such a thing! If it were her, and the abbot of Huguo Temple were to take her as a disciple, she would be willing to do anything, even lose her hands and feet! But she didn't have that kind of fate. She was just a maid, and no matter how high she thought of herself, she was still just a maid… She wouldn't allow her to squander her good fortune like that. Almost dragging her, she got her into the carriage.
“Go ahead and be bold. It’s just going out. I’m here. I will make sure you are safe and sound. I’m willing to risk my life for you. I just hope you can really learn something… You don’t know how much I envy you. You are someone truly blessed by God. Don’t waste your good fortune.”
Her tone was calm, yet it carried a pleading undertone. Shanlai was deeply moved and remained silent for a long time.
When I saw Hongche again, I bowed and dared not look up, because of those terrible thoughts.
Hongche spoke first, saying, "When you came last time, you were looking for your benefactor..."
Shanlai suddenly remembered that she still owed a debt of gratitude, which she had completely forgotten. She abruptly raised her head and met Hongche's compassionate eyes.
The two looked at each other, and Hongche smiled slightly at Shanlai, saying, "The person has been found. Would you like to see him?"
Of course I want to see him.
The young novice monk approached, and Shanlai hurriedly went to greet him, wanting to thank him for saving her life. Unexpectedly, the young novice monk stepped forward to bow and respectfully greeted her, "Grandmaster Uncle."
The abbot's disciple naturally has a very high seniority, an astonishingly high one.
Shan Lai was stunned.
Having received this title of "Grand Uncle," he could never bring himself to refuse to become her disciple.
Shanlai followed her advice and indeed devoted herself to Buddhism. Every ten days she would go to Huguo Temple to chant sutras and work with the monks, and she would also ask Hongche for Dharma advice. A Buddhist shrine was set up in the west wing room, and incense was burned every day.
Ziyu had taken care of everything for Shanlai's trip, asking for help everywhere. Shanlai couldn't help but feel indebted to her, so when she replied to Liu Min, she took all the blame upon herself and removed Ziyu from the list, so that if anything happened, she wouldn't be implicated.
Fortunately, Liu Min soon wrote back, expressing his delight at her opportunity and hoping that she would achieve great things in her studies. He also said that he had made arrangements for her so that she would no longer need to ask for favors when she went out in the future.
Now, Shanlai was also grateful to Liu Min.
Things are getting better and better, and she even rekindled her old relationship with Doctor Chu.
They met again at Huguo Temple. Chu Qingdai accompanied her adoptive mother to offer incense and saw Shanlai in the crowd. She was incredulous and quickly went up to him.
Shan Lai had long forgotten what Chu Qingdai looked like, or even the person herself. When someone grabbed his wrist, he felt only horror.
Chu Qingdai was pleasantly surprised. "It really is you! I thought I was seeing things. What are you doing here?" Seeing Shan Lai's puzzled expression, she understood and immediately said, "You were so sick and confused back then that you probably don't remember me. My surname is Chu. I went to your residence to treat you before, but later, for some reason, they wouldn't let me in. The way you looked back then was really... I waited at your gate for a long time and saw Uncle Sun... You're better now, aren't you?"
Indeed, that was the case. The name and the face matched, and Shanlai felt a surge of gratitude. This was a good person.
"I'm all better now. I really owe you a lot. Thank you so much."
Her words and expressions were so sincere that Chu Qingdai suddenly felt a little embarrassed. She quickly said that it was all her duty, and then quickly changed the subject, asking about the previous question again.
Shanlai then said that Chu Qingdai was also very happy for Shanlai, "So you can paint. Abbot Hongche is very famous. You will definitely achieve great success in the future."
Shanlai didn't care about achieving fame and success, and never even considered it. Although she was supposed to learn an art, after becoming an apprentice, she never even touched a paintbrush. Hongche didn't care about her, but often asked her about her understanding of Buddhism.
Until that year, when the murals in the Mahavira Hall of Huguo Temple were to be renovated, Hongche finally spoke to Shanlai about the paintings and asked her if she wanted to participate in the work of repainting the murals.
Shanlai agreed, though he felt a little uneasy about it.
She lost so badly to that white-robed Guanyin painting back then that she dared not pick up a brush again. But so many years have passed, and she may have made progress. If she doesn't want to think about it, she won't; but once she does, she can't help but try to see how she has improved now.
However, this matter is of great importance and must be handled with utmost care.
So first, lay out paper and paint over the things you want to draw on the wall.
It was alright, but I still felt it wasn't good enough, something seemed off, so I redrawn it. But it got worse and worse, making me frown and feel frustrated. I couldn't help but throw down my paintbrush, which was a first for me.
He not only threw his paintbrush, but also crumpled up his drawing paper and threw it aside, clearly indignant.
Suddenly a gentle male voice sounded in my ear, "Why are you so impatient? This isn't like you at all."
There's a man in the inner courtyard! It's quite startling. I immediately became alert and shot my eyes out like arrows.
A young man, tall but thin and frail, with a face as white as powder and lips as red as cinnabar, exuding a refined air, yet his whole demeanor was peaceful and serene, even frail.
Who is it?
Seeing her confusion, the newcomer seemed to pause for a moment, pursed his lips, chuckled softly, and said, "You don't recognize me?"
A sudden inspiration struck, and Shan Lai suddenly understood.
It's him!
How could it be him?
When Shanlai recalled that when she first met him, he was very lively and couldn't sit still. He chattered all day long, like a sparrow. He also had a bad temper, was spoiled, and wouldn't allow anything to be disobeyed. If he was unhappy, he would give people a bad look.
How could it have turned out like this?
Shan Lai was taken aback.
The author says: I didn't run away, and I absolutely won't run away; I'm just not in a good state of mind...
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