Chapter 26 Don't go to the capital
How could this happen? How could this be? Everything was fine back then.
She kept asking questions the whole way, grabbing the sleeve of the person next to her tightly, asking incessantly. When the person got annoyed and ignored her with a cold face, she still kept asking.
How could that be?
It might be fake.
It's fake.
It must be.
She convinced herself, and her mind gradually calmed down.
However, she herself knew that this was self-deception.
Why would her father try to appease her with something like this?
The carriage was quiet, but it was bustling outside: the sound of horses' hooves, the rumble of wheels, the occasional chirping of birds, and the last rays of the setting sun shining into the carriage, falling into her eyes, which, after a while, became somewhat hot.
She slumped down, tears streaming down her face.
When Shanlai got off the bus, he was much better.
She had already convinced herself that no matter what happened, whether the sky fell or the earth collapsed, if it happened and it befell people, they had to bear it. If they didn't want to bear it, they could die. There was always a way.
The Yao family home was bustling with people, both outside the gate and inside the courtyard; figures could be seen moving about everywhere.
"I'm back."
Someone in the crowd spoke first.
Everyone looked over—those carrying white cloth, those twisting hemp rope, those setting up tents… all stopped what they were doing and looked towards Shan.
Shanlai saw everything but said nothing. He simply lowered his head and walked into the house.
There were only a few people in the house, just Aunt Wang and her husband.
As soon as Aunt Wang saw Shanlai, tears streamed down her face. The poor child, his life so unfortunate. She wanted to offer some words of comfort, but she didn't know what to say, so she just cried. Aunt Wang's husband sighed and said to Shanlai, "Your father is waiting for you. Go on over there." Then he called to Aunt Wang, "Let's go out."
The couple left, leaving Shan Lai alone, dragging his feet, slowly walking towards the bed.
Lying on the bed, Yao Yong's face was ashen, and he was only exhaling, not inhaling.
Seeing him like this, Shanlai couldn't help but wonder, how could this happen? Although she had already convinced herself to be invulnerable, in this situation... her heart couldn't help but feel a pang of pain.
I sat down by the bed and called out "Dad!" There was no response, so I called out again.
"I'm back... Wake up and talk to me."
There has still been no response.
Shanlai closed his eyes in pain, tears streaming down his face, his head spinning.
She remembered many things. Returning home, weary from the journey, under the blazing sun, they still had to keep going. She was truly exhausted and told her father. He immediately bent down and told her to climb onto his back. He carried her and their luggage, walking tirelessly across the deserted fields until they reached a place where they could spend the night. He put her down, laid out a felt mat for her, and lit a fire to boil water and warm snacks for her. Within a few days, they had a donkey cart. She sat on it, her father leading the donkey. She never felt tired again, but her father was out of money. She had been there when they bought the cart; she had seen him take out all the money he had. When it wasn't enough, he took off the jade pendant hanging around his neck and gave it to the trader, who then allowed him to take the donkey. They had no money, but she still had snacks to eat. Her father simply boiled wild vegetables, eating some himself and feeding the donkey. While picking vegetables, he even cut willow branches and twisted them into willow bark whistles for her, teaching her to blow them, afraid she would be bored. Once, while passing through a village, they happened upon a wedding celebration. The air was filled with the sounds of gongs, drums, and flutes, a truly lively affair. The feast was exquisite, its aroma wafting from afar. Greedy, she stood on tiptoe, gazing at the spectacle, her mouth watering. Her father saw her and led her to the host's house. He spent a long time chopping firewood in the kitchen, then brought her to the feast. As she chewed the meat, she thought, "My father is truly amazing..."
How could we have imagined today back then?
Suddenly, she woke up with a start, feeling someone calling her name. She almost immediately looked towards the bed.
The person on the bed remained motionless.
She closed her eyes, tears welled up again, and she felt a chill run through her body.
Are we just going to wait like this? Sit here, doing nothing, watching his life slip away until he becomes a corpse...
The corpse.
An overwhelming, deep fear gripped her. No! No…
"Dad! Don't sleep! Talk to me! Please!" She burst into tears, completely losing her mind. She began frantically shaking the body in front of her. "Please, wake up! Get better! Please! Please... don't leave me alone..."
This fear comes from the depths of my heart; it is the most real and unbearable pain. A scene I have no recollection of inexplicably surfaced before my eyes...
The morning star hung high, the sky a deep blue, yet all around was black, a dense, impenetrable, pure black. Withered leaves crumbled, broken branches snapped, and the air was thick with dry, labored breathing, sharp howls, and ghostly wails…
Every hair on her body stood on end. She was panting, trembling, and her teeth chattered.
She heard crying.
A woman's weeping was so heart-wrenching, so terrifying.
Who is she? Why can I hear her crying?
In the midst of her reverie, she heard someone calling her name again.
This time it was for real; a labored groan, broken and intermittent, "Good, good... good..."
"Father!" Shanlai cried out, rushing forward to grab Yao Yong's hand and place it against his heart, sobbing, "Father! Look at me!"
"Good morning..." Yao called out, struggling to open his eyes. When he saw the person in front of him, his eyes suddenly lit up, and his breathing became more rapid. He hissed, "Good morning, I... I've waited for you..."
Shan Lai burst into tears, and soon Yao Yong's hands were soaked with tears.
However, Yao Yong could no longer sense it; when a person is about to die, all five senses are lost.
The dying man opened his eyes wide, but his gaze was empty, devoid of any light.
"Don't go to the capital..."
His voice was weak and feeble, and to others it was just a series of unclear "ah ah" sounds.
"What? Dad, what did you say? I can't hear you!"
"You...don't go...to...the...capital...! Don't...go!"
This time the voice was much louder, and Shanlai heard it clearly, but he didn't understand it.
"Don't you want to go to the capital?"
Shanlai was a little confused. What was this all about? Where did it come from?
"Never, ever go..."
"Why?"
Why is it said like this?
"Don't go, don't..."
What you say at this time should be very important, so why is it just that one sentence?
Suddenly, Yao Yong trembled all over. He struggled, raised one arm, and stretched his hand out into the air.
"Abao..."
He murmured.
Then exhale.
The arm suddenly fell down and slammed onto the bed with a thud.
It took Shanlai a while to react. She called out, "Dad?"
There was no response.
Shanlai called out again.
There has still been no response.
She sat there, motionless, holding her breath and remaining silent, with Yao Yong's hand still held against her heart.
Another while passed.
Shan Lai finally realized that what was in front of her now was a corpse.
The corpse.
My father is dead.
Shan Lai was completely stunned.
My father is dead.
There was no sound at all.
My father is dead.
She stood up, but she didn't know what she was doing; her mind was a complete blank.
With a loud bang.
People poured in.
Shanlai doesn't remember what happened afterward very clearly; everything is fragmented and disjointed because she was just a puppet controlled by humans, lacking much of her own consciousness. She wasn't dead, but her state hardly qualifies as living. Her large, empty eyes, like those of a dead person, were stagnant and lifeless.
Yao Yong was a good man, and everyone in the village knew it. More or less, everyone in the village had benefited from his kindness, so he never lacked manpower when it came to getting things done. In fact, most people were eager to help, fearing they wouldn't be able to contribute, so everything went very smoothly.
Shanlai stood before the grave, watching as the last handful of soil was laid on top. He crawled on his knees, turned around, and, still kneeling, bowed deeply to the elders and villagers behind him. Then he turned back, his eyes fixed on the burning paper money.
Someone let out a long sigh.
Aunt Wang wiped away her tears, took a few steps forward, and pulled Shanlai up by the arms: "Good child, we don't need anyone here. Just have them watch over things. Come back with me, wash your face, and get some sleep... You haven't slept for two days!"
Not only have I not slept for two days, but I haven't eaten or drunk anything for two days either.
However, Shanlai was unwilling to go back. She didn't even have the strength to speak, so she simply shook her head to show her attitude.
Aunt Wang got anxious and scolded, "You can't do this! Your father will be heartbroken if he sees this! He's only just passed away, and you're already ruining yourself like this. Are you trying to prevent him from passing away peacefully?" Then she coaxed, "Come back with me. There are still many things to do in the future, and you'll be needed for everything. You have to take care of yourself so you can continue to be filial to your father and help him."
They tried everything, good and bad, but Shanlai didn't react at all. He just knelt there, as if he would stay there forever.
As Wang Da Niang watched, her nose stung with tears, and they instantly welled up in her eyes.
Such a filial daughter, the more filial she is, the more pitiful she becomes, and the more people feel compelled to do something for her.
Aunt Wang wiped away her tears, hardened her heart, grabbed Shanlai's arm, and dragged him out, intending to forcibly pull him from the grave.
Take it away.
Shanlai hadn't expected to be treated so roughly. She ungratefully thought Aunt Wang's concern was meddling. Why? Why didn't she want to stay? What use was she if she didn't want to stay? She just wanted to stay; whose business was it? Why didn't she want to stay? Why! Her father was buried in the ground! Her father, the source of her bloodline, the person who treated her best in the world—gone… She just wanted to be with him, why couldn't she? Why did they have to take her away? She suddenly let out a piercing scream, loud enough to shatter the heavens, followed by a desperate struggle and resistance, her face contorted in agony, her limbs twisted, accompanied by a long, sharp whistling cry, utterly devoid of any decorum.
To the people attending the funeral, this was a Yao Shanlai they had never seen before. She had shed her aloofness and become an ordinary person, no different from any other grieving children who had lost their parents.
She always maintained a dignified and composed demeanor, never speaking or laughing loudly in public, and certainly never crying. She drew a clear line between herself and others, and she had done so for many years. Even during the vigil and the mourning period, she did not cry, nor did she cry during the funeral procession. She did not let anyone see the slightest unsightly side of her, which made people think, "She is indeed different."
But now it looks like this.
It's clear that it was really painful.
Liu Min looked at her, feeling very sorry for her.
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