Chapter 122 If only I had died back then…
After settling his aunt in, Shanlai went to the East Palace.
She is her aunt's niece, her uncle's niece, her brother's sister, and her sister's sister.
She couldn't stand idly by if any of these four people were in trouble, especially in the current situation.
Shanlai was very close to Li Hao, his cousin from his aunt's side.
Li Hao's mother was the eldest sister in the family, and Li Hao was the eldest brother. The eldest sister was very good to her younger siblings, and the eldest brother was also influenced by what he saw and heard, and was naturally good to his younger siblings. It was a responsibility that flowed in their blood.
Li Hao only felt this responsibility towards his mother's younger siblings. Because his mother's siblings shared the same blood as her, while his father and his brothers and sisters were different, only sharing half of their blood, creating a barrier. Even if he didn't care about this, others might not appreciate his genuine affection.
His father and brothers fought for power, while his mother and sisters were inseparable.
no the same.
My uncle's family has a younger cousin, and my aunt's family has a younger cousin.
His younger cousin is four years younger than him, and his younger cousin is seven years younger. His younger cousin came to live with him shortly after birth, so he practically watched him grow up. Since he was also young then and his schoolwork wasn't too demanding, he has plenty of free time to play with his brother, and the two are inseparable. His younger cousin wasn't so fortunate; when she was born, he already had seven or eight teachers and was busy every day, only able to catch his breath on holidays and family birthdays, thus having little opportunity to spend time with his sister.
He was a younger sister, and he had personally taken care of his younger brother, so he couldn't help but feel guilty towards his sister. To make up for it, he thought about her every day. Whenever he saw something nice, or even something he liked but didn't actually want, after his joy, he didn't think about what he should do for himself, but rather, "This is good, I want to give it to my sister."
Everyone knows about this habit of his.
An uncle once joked with him, asking if he would empty his family's mansion to win his sister's attention.
The Prince's mansion is so big, how could it be emptied?
However, there was indeed a room in the Duke of Jingguo's mansion specifically for storing the things he had given to his sister: various exquisite items, interesting toys, and even a dagger that could cut through iron like mud, and a fierce and invincible cricket...
Therefore, although her younger sister didn't see him often, she knew very well that her cousin was good to her. Every time she saw him, she would stick close to him and follow him wherever he went.
However, that happened more than ten years ago.
The objects remain the same, but the feelings have changed.
My cousin and she have indeed become estranged.
I realized it the day we met again.
They are clearly blood relatives, yet they are not as passionate as someone who only has a title.
It's not that he's reserved; he's genuinely aloof.
I was really heartbroken at that time.
Even if they become estranged, they are still blood relatives, closely connected, and there's no escaping their bond.
The change from Prince Qi to Crown Prince is not a simple matter of changing titles, and his cousin is no longer the same cousin he once was, so Shanlai was prepared to be treated coldly.
It can't be called neglecting them, after all, my cousin's wife is there.
My cousin's wife is a very warm person. When she sees me, her eyes light up instantly, and she is very happy.
"My little sister is here! I was just about to send someone to give her some things! I've found lots of good fabrics; she's quite far along in her pregnancy, so we need to prepare baby clothes, shoes, hats..."
As she spoke, her eyes gazed tenderly at Shanlai's protruding belly.
A mother's gaze.
However, she has not yet become a mother. She is twenty-two years old and has been a wife for five years without having her own child.
They all said it was her fault, that she was bad.
Holding a position without performing its duties.
Some were angry, some were gloating, and some were envious.
So what if she can't have children? Her husband still only has her. Her husband, His Highness the Crown Prince, is like a lone gourd among three thousand rivers.
That is His Highness the Crown Prince, not a farmer in the field, a hunter in the forest, a peddler, or a servant. He is His Highness the Crown Prince, the future emperor, the master of the world.
Even the poorest farmers and hunters, the lowest of the low, will still think about having more women once they have a little money.
His Highness the Crown Prince dotes solely on his Crown Princess.
What a blessing this is!
Is it a blessing? Then why does she look haggard and sickly?
They bullied her.
"Sister-in-law...Sister...How have you been all these years here?"
Shanlai spoke very softly, almost in a pleading tone, because she was a relative of those who bullied her, their accomplice, and even though she hadn't done anything to wrong her, she still felt sorry for her.
Upon hearing this question, the Crown Princess was clearly surprised. She stood there, mouth agape and eyes wide open, and after a while, she seemed somewhat at a loss for what to do.
"...Of course it's good, it's good..." she said slowly, word by word, "I am the Crown Princess, how could I not be doing well? If even the Crown Princess is not doing well... how could that be?" She straightened her back, smiled, and appeared calm and composed, seemingly impeccable.
However, there was a hint of moisture in her smiling eyes.
Shanlai suddenly remembered her older sister, who had also been crying yesterday.
They were all crying.
Because they were all bullied by others and could not fight back, they could only swallow their bitter pills.
Why do we have to do this?
What did they do wrong?
Shanlai swallowed hard, feeling a soreness in his chest, and was unable to speak.
The Crown Princess, Zheng Jingjuan, also remained silent, only turning her head to stare at the smooth, sun-drenched floor tiles, her gaze unfocused, as if her soul had vanished.
Six years ago, she got married amidst a sea of red. Dressed in colorful clothes and adorned with jewels, she walked gracefully into the hall, surrounded by people. At that time, I never imagined that today would be like this.
Shan Lai underestimated her position in her esteemed cousin's heart. Li Hao was not going to treat her poorly. He walked in amidst the silence and asked the two women, his wife and sister, with a smile, "Why aren't you two saying anything?"
Although her cousin has changed, Shanlai has not forgotten those things from the past, those treasures that almost filled the entire house. She thought she would always love and respect her cousin.
Shan Lai stood up, unwilling to waste any more words. "I came to see my cousin. I have something to say to him privately. Is he free?"
Li Hao smiled and said, "I'm not so busy that I don't even have time to talk to my sister."
The two walked out and continued walking until they reached a secluded spot, where they stopped under a crabapple tree.
The crabapple blossoms are almost finished blooming; the lush greenery and faded red blossoms evoke a sense of melancholy.
Spring is fading away, and another beautiful time is about to end.
"Cousin, what are you planning to do? Eldest sister, she's married... You abandoned her back then, and now you're doing that kind of thing... Why don't you think about her?"
Li Hao did not answer, but simply gazed at the flowers, lost in thought.
Shanlai wanted to urge him, but after thinking it over, he decided to give up and looked up at the flowers.
The sun was warm and thick, so thick that it was almost impossible to open one's eyes, and one's body gradually became weak.
I don't know how much time passed; it might have been a long time, or it might have been just a moment.
Li Hao looked at the flowers and spoke softly, “He Xian, you probably don’t know, but when you were born, your name was Tang, chosen by your uncle. It was because your aunt loved crabapple blossoms the most. When they bloom, the whole tree is covered in them, like brocade and rosy clouds. Before she was the third wife of the Gu family, she lived with my sister. When the crabapple blossoms were in bloom, she would hold my hand and walk under the flowers every day. Sometimes she would play the zither under the flowers. When the wind blew, the petals would fall, covering the people under the tree with their hair and clothes… But you were always sick. A wandering Taoist priest said it was because your name was not good. You were born with a lack of water in your destiny, but your name contained wood, making you even more deficient. So your aunt gave you a new name. But even after the name change, you were still often sick. Every time you were sick, your aunt would cry very hard. And it wasn’t just when you were sick that she cried. She would cry whenever she talked about your constant illness, crying that she had given birth to you so weak and made you suffer… Your aunt was the most gentle and kind person I had ever met. She was my other mother, and she even gave her life for me…”
Shanlai's deceased mother, Wei Zhen, whose nickname was Wanwan, was the youngest child in the family and the apple of her parents' and siblings' eye. She was a gentle person who always had a smile on her face and would never say a bad word to anyone. Everyone who met her said she was good, incredibly good.
A good person, but not a good life, or rather, not a good end.
What was she thinking in the moments before her life completely ended?
No one knew that she died alone and tragically in a desolate place, suffering immense pain before her death; her fingernails split open and filled with dirt and pebbles, and after her death, insects and ants crawled all over her body...
Those who love her would go crazy seeing her like this.
"You shouldn't ask me why I don't want your sister. You should ask your aunt, my mother, why she tormented me like that. He Xian, you don't know, your aunt went crazy after your mother died."
When Wei Mu and Tingting finally found her sister Wanwan, everything had already been settled. She had won and gotten what she wanted.
What did she want? She wanted power, because power could bring peace and happiness to her family. People cannot live without power, and she understood this principle very early on.
She eventually gained unparalleled power, but paid a heavy price for it, including her sister's life.
Power and influence, and my sister's well-being and happiness.
Her sister's health and happiness brought her power, but the reason she wanted power was precisely to bring her sister health and happiness...
Was all of this just a waste of time and effort?
How could my sister die?
Her younger sister died for her. When she died, she was pregnant with her nephew, who had hands, feet, eyebrows and eyes. In a few months, he would have been born amidst the anticipation of many people, perhaps with his mother's face, just like his sister. But he couldn't come out; he just lay there, propped up.
It hurts so much...
How much pain her sister must have been in back then...
The King of Chu killed her sister, causing her to die in such agony. Someone must pay for this blood debt. The victor is king, and she has that right.
So she ordered people to cut open the bellies of all the women in the King of Chu's harem, so that they would suffer the same pain her sister had endured. She even did it herself once, because one of the King of Chu's concubines was pregnant.
Blood spurted out, splattering all over her head and face, turning her into a bloody mess, like a demon crawling out of hell.
She loved her sister, everyone knew that, everyone pitied her, and everyone understood her pain, but that did not bring her relief.
She became irritable, even violent, and would scream and tear her hair at the slightest provocation.
She only lost her hair, but others often ended up covered in blood.
I've tried to persuade her, I've tried everything, but she won't listen. She just keeps questioning me, "How dare you talk to me like that? Who do you think you are today because of? Who is it all because of!"
Li Hao knew.
So he said, "I wish I had been the one who died back then, I would have been willing to die."
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