Chapter 101 I'll Take Responsibility for You When I See This Scene
Pei Wenjing could hear his own heart pounding violently, deafeningly so. Shen Cangyu probably heard it too. It was so loud; he really wanted to rip his heart out and crush it.
"Am I that scary?" Shen Cangyu laughed, her familiar tone sounding just like before, making Pei Wenjing wonder if she remembered their past experiences.
However, Shen Cangyu needs a specific situation to trigger her memories. She probably didn't remember them, but it was just her personality that made her enjoy teasing him as before.
Looking at Shen Cangyu's appearance, Pei Wenjing felt as if time had turned back. Shen Cangyu had no romantic feelings for him, but he had used many tricks, both overt and covert, to play the innocent card and play the victim. She liked these tactics, and as long as he acted this way, Shen Cangyu would always give him a second glance.
He believed in the inherent evil of human nature, and he was the perfect product of this theory. Like a monster trying to blend into the crowd, he learned the good qualities people possessed and how to become a likable person. He used these methods to gain the attention of many, but Shen Cangyu was the only one not among them.
Shen Cangyu's gaze towards Pei Wenjing always held a clear yet distant quality. Pei Wenjing, having observed people for so many years, would never mistake the emotion in her eyes. They had grown up together since childhood, spent so many years together, so why was he never in her eyes? Even when Shen Cangyu was joking and playing with him, her smiling eyes concealed a cold indifference.
She always observed the world from the perspective of an outsider.
Pei Wenjing never believed in gods, but in Shen Cangyu, he vaguely saw the image of a god. As a child, he didn't understand anything, so he guessed that Shen Cangyu was a god who had come to the human world in disguise. He firmly believed in this idea. He observed Shen Cangyu, tested him, and then fell into his trap. By the time he realized it, it was too late.
He used to not understand why believers were always so obsessed with God, but now he did. He just wanted Shen Cangyu to look at him more. He did many things to attract Shen Cangyu's attention.
This includes, but is not limited to, painstakingly studying Shen Cangyu's combat tactics before each match in order to develop a move that can counter her, defeating her in the match, and seeing a hint of anger finally appear in her eyes, which means that he is different from other defeated opponents in her eyes.
He would occasionally feign misery, pretending to be engrossed in cultivation, going without food for days until he collapsed from a stomach ailment in front of her courtyard, only to be rescued by her, all just to hear her say, "Sigh, why are you doing this again..."
He wanted to pull off a big heist, so when Shen Cangyu came of age, he gave her Suyou and then pretended to be affectionate yet troubled, saying to her, "I'm leaving Kunlun. You must take good care of yourself." He wanted to remain in Shen Cangyu's memory so that even after a few years, she would still remember him.
He is such a wicked person.
Pei Wenjing had always known that something was wrong with the aura around him. His obsessions were stronger than those of the other disciples. Whether it was his concern for others or his feelings for Shen Cangyu, his emotions were intense, far exceeding those of others. However, he often suppressed these feelings in his heart. He left Kunlun to resolve his obsessions and eliminate his inner demons.
Unrequited love is too agonizing. Pei Wenjing tries to find a way to strip away his own feelings. If he could be like Shen Cangyu, able to ignore other people's feelings and only have eyes for himself, then he could probably return to Shen Cangyu's side without any worries.
Pei Wenjing never expected that after he left Kunlun, Bai Mujing would impersonate him, committing arson, murder, and looting in Kunlun, and even pinning the crimes on him.
Now, he really has no way to return to Kunlun.
Almost all the disciples of Wanqi Guixin had perished, and he pondered this for a long time outside the mountain. He genuinely considered the disciples of Wanqi Guixin as his own family, and upon hearing the news of their deaths, he found himself surprisingly saddened. Perhaps it was because, while he was inherently wicked, he wasn't as wicked as he had imagined.
From then on, he lived to atone for his sins. When Shen Cangyu came to find him on Kunlun's orders, his greatest hope was to die at her hands. Unexpectedly, she spared his life. He was even more heartbroken then, because while Shen Cangyu spoke of punishing him, her eyes still held that familiar indifference; she didn't even want to show him hatred.
Later, he helped Shen Cangyu vanquish the Five Evils, restoring peace to Kunlun. The elders and disciples of Kunlun showed no gratitude, but Pei Wenjing no longer cared. He only wanted a quick death at Shen Cangyu's hands. However, Shen Cangyu didn't kill him. Instead, she followed him, disguising herself as a mortal, and traveled the mortal realm.
God gave him a chance to atone for his sins, allowing him to take her with him for one last look at the world.
But during this journey through the mortal realm, Pei Wenjing saw a completely different Shen Cangyu. She would angrily intervene when she saw the strong bullying the weak, she would angrily chase a beggar to the bridge after he stole her money, teaching him the meaning of "ill-gotten gains are not to be taken," she would humbly say, "It's so-so, I can make it better," and she would secretly take Pei Wenjing to climb the city wall on a winter night to watch the fireworks, gesturing to him, "Compared to this, fireworks with colored smoke are much more beautiful, and there's also a drone show..."
Pei Wenjing watched as Shen Cangyu's eyes grew brighter and brighter, as if a fresh soul had sprouted from a wooden shell. She became vibrant and no longer as distant as before.
Pei Wenjing had once considered letting Shen Cangyu stay, but he lacked confidence in himself and felt that this world was ultimately not as vibrant and colorful as the other world Shen Cangyu spoke of, and that she would never stay. Even when Shen Cangyu pinched his face to force a smile, though he smiled outwardly, he felt sadness in his heart.
He knew that no matter how many times Shen Cangyu said she liked this world, it was all a lie, and she would definitely leave.
Just like when she whispered "I like you" in his ear while he was drunk, it was all a lie. Because she still left in the end, leaving him alone in this world. He searched the whole world for her, but he could never find her.
She always lied, but he was also good at pretending; they were equally guilty, and neither could blame the other. At least in this life, Shen Cangyu was far more honest than before. She told him many times not to fall in love with her, because she couldn't reciprocate his feelings.
Pei Wenjing understood Shen Cangyu better than she understood herself, so he knew she was telling the truth, but there was no going back. Just as Shen Cangyu had told him before, they could never go back. Pei Wenjing couldn't bear a world without Shen Cangyu, even though she wanted to use her lectures to help him connect with more people, integrate him into the world, and make him like it more.
But in his eyes, a world without Shen Cangyu is meaningless. If Shen Cangyu leaves this world as before, and he has no way to follow, then he will end this life that has lingered on for thousands of lifetimes.
Looking at Shen Cangyu's sly smile, Pei Wenjing's wildly beating heart gradually calmed down. He said, "I didn't expect you to be standing behind me. I was distracted. Is there something you need from me?"
"Let's discuss the future development of the Dao Asking Hall," Shen Cangyu said.
Sure enough, she only ever came to see him for serious business, either because of Kunlun or because of the Copper Coin Eye.
Pei Wenjing thought with a straight face, "The old Shen Cangyu would at least say hypocritically, 'I came because I missed you, is that not allowed?' But now she wouldn't even bother to coax him."
Perhaps it's because people get old, and their minds can't help but become childish. Pei Wenjing put the book into the box with a loud thud. His thoughts were wandering. He thought that his emotions hadn't fluctuated this much in the previous reincarnations. Could it really be that he's getting old?
Suddenly, he felt a tightness on his scalp, a force pulling him backward, but unexpectedly, he didn't fall to the ground, but instead landed in a warm embrace. Shen Cangyu tugged at his hair ribbon, pulling him backward, watching his head fall onto her lap. Pei Wenjing's eyes widened, a visible red flush spreading from his neck to his face. He angrily called out Shen Cangyu's name, struggling to sit up.
This person is really funny.
Shen Cangyu tugged at his hairband again, and Pei Wenjing, who had just gotten up, fell back down. The warmth at the back of his head made his scalp tingle, and he couldn't help but glare at her: "What exactly are you trying to do?"
But what he was really thinking was, "She's finally willing to take action."
Based on Pei Wenjing's understanding of Shen Cangyu, she rarely showed interest in anything. When she started making physical advances, it meant she had finally become interested in something. It was quite a feat for him to have pretended to be an innocent male cultivator for so long, catering to Shen Cangyu's preferences and saying many self-pitying things in front of her, all to arouse her interest.
Shen Cangyu has changed a lot, but what remains unchanged is her heart of stone and her tastes.
Pei Wenjing had endured so long, and finally, he managed to win back Shen Cangyu's interest in him.
Shen Cangyu also came to her senses and finally realized what she had just done. She had just watched Pei Wenjing turn away and pack his things with a tense face, and only one thought had been in her mind: "Why didn't he answer me? Why did he turn away and pack his things? Weren't we talking?" So she started to pull on his hair ribbon.
She didn't expect that with just a gentle tug, Pei Wenjing would fall down.
It was like a staged accident. But Pei Wenjing's embarrassed and angry expression was quite amusing.
Feeling guilty, Shen Cangyu suppressed her thoughts and said, "Your hairband got tangled in your hair, I was just fixing it for you... I didn't mean to pull it."
Pei Wenjing looked at her and suddenly said, "You said before that if I agreed to give lectures to those greedy people, you would pay me. What is my payment?"
He was thinking, "I'll test the waters, but I need to be careful not to alert her."
But then Shen Cangyu said, "Then I'll take responsibility for you."
The author's note: After inheriting the memories, this person was shocked to discover that he was actually a male fox. No wonder all the Kunlun disciples were afraid of him before Shen Cangyu came to Kunlun in this life, but after Shen Cangyu came, his whole body was filled with "I am so pitiful". It turns out that everything was already engraved in his bones.
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