But I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with him and be his companion on the same path.
"But I want to stand shoulder to shoulder with him and be his companion on the same path."
60.
Meng Lanjian turned and walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and the warm water jets poured and patted her delicate skin. The slap marks on her buttocks, which had not yet faded, throbbed faintly. Meng Lanjian stood silently in the water for a long time. She thought tears would fall, but they did not.
Chongming would probably think she was being dramatic again, throwing a tantrum for no reason, right?
How could he possibly understand?
He always maintained this gentlemanly, upright, and virtuous demeanor, so mature and rational it was chilling. Meng Lanjian disliked this about him; though sincere, he lacked passion, making her seem like an innocent, naive child still seeking answers. Even when he reached her deepest depths, needing her embrace and nourishment, their bodies entwined in passionate embrace until a sigh escaped his lips, Meng Lanjian, overwhelmed by desire, could not ignore—
In the face of Chongming, she will always be a child.
The age difference is never the real barrier; what truly traps Lan Jian is her inability to be his equal and to make him see her as a peer.
Lan Jian recalled that day at the hot spring resort, when Guan Shaoxiao brought over a fruit platter containing two condoms. Lan Jian hadn't noticed when she took the platter away, but Chongming discovered it when he returned to the room and jokingly remarked, "So even Guan Shaoxiao is worried you might accidentally get pregnant before you go abroad?"
Lan Jian simply smiled and didn't reply.
"I'm also very scared."
This means that Chongming is the one most afraid of her getting pregnant unexpectedly.
Even if Guan Shaoxiao didn't know about their marriage, it seemed to be a tacit understanding between the couple that Chongming was always thinking about contraception and that they wouldn't have children before Lanjian graduated with his doctorate.
Lan Jian certainly doesn't want to get pregnant or have children right now, and it's hard to say whether he'll want to in the future. But his use of the word "fear" really planted a thorn in Lan Jian's heart.
Is he really that afraid of her getting pregnant?
Meng Lanjian certainly wouldn't joke about her health. According to her usual cycle, she was indeed menstruating today. Before her period, she would feel breast tenderness and slight back pain. This time, her breasts were already starting to feel slightly swollen, and although her back pain hadn't started yet, it meant her period would be a little delayed, but it was coming soon.
She vaguely coaxed Chongming, deliberately wanting him to ejaculate inside her when she was without protection and confused about whether she was in her safe period.
In fact, Chongming was right about everything he said earlier. He was provoked into going straight to her, and the psychological pleasure he gave her was indeed greater than the physical pleasure. If he hadn't continued talking, and the two of them had just been locked in a standoff, she would have eventually given in.
Unfortunately, he was ungrateful and didn't give her a way out; instead, he exposed her.
Does Lan Jian hate Chongming?
How could she not hate him? She hated herself for violating morality by falling for him when he already had a girlfriend, and for not only being indifferent but also telling her to date someone else. In the end, through a twist of fate, the two became husband and wife.
But what if they become husband and wife? He is the son of a major general in the Southern Army, and she is the daughter of a high-ranking official in the North. The current marriage is just a temporary measure by the elders to stabilize the situation. What will happen to this marriage in the future is unknown.
Therefore, they seem to have never talked about what would happen later.
Lan Jian hated Chongming more than anything else.
The night she decided to marry him, she talked to Xiuyun countless times about her plans for their married life. Unfortunately, she has never heard anything like those things from Chongming to this day.
...
After Lan Jian went to the bathroom, Chongming immediately checked her menstrual cycle chart in the photo album. The bright red ketchup covered today's date, and Chongming realized that Lan Jian hadn't lied.
When Lan Jian came out, he was about to speak, but her knowing gaze and a casual remark silenced him.
"Don't worry, it wasn't delayed because of pregnancy."
Chongming felt no relief, but rather a growing heaviness in his heart.
"Chongming, it was my fault today. I shouldn't have snapped at you, and I didn't tell you beforehand that I had moved seats. If you feel uncomfortable, I can sleep in the game room downstairs..."
“I also have my shortcomings,” Chongming said, pulling Lanjian back. “But I have never been truly angry with you, nor have I ever regretted anything.”
Meng Lanjian was unmoved by his words and was about to pull her hand away when she heard him say in a straightforward manner, "Let's live a good life from now on and not quarrel like we just did, okay?"
after.
Meng Lanjian finally heard the remedy that would solve the problem in his heart.
—That's how he accidentally solved it.
In the instant Lan Jian realized she couldn't contain her joy at Chongming's words, "Let's live a good life together from now on," a passage flashed through her mind—a passage from a letter she wrote to her pen pal after falling for Chongming:
"I recently read in a book that when we like someone, it seems that without completely belittling ourselves, we can't prove the nobility of that feeling: repeatedly folding ourselves into insignificant shapes, just to pitifully fit into the other person's life."
"But I will not humbly like him or get close to him. I will always look at him openly and honestly. One day, he will look at me. I don't know if I will still like him then, but I will stand shoulder to shoulder with him and be his fellow traveler."
The matter of Lan Jian's seat was already settled, and Chongming didn't want to go through the motions with Xue Xiang anymore. However, he refused Xue Xiang's request to mentor the new student, Tan Xiaoxiao. Xue Xiang pestered Chongming for a week, but this time Chongming's attitude was firm and there was no room for wavering. In the end, Xue Xiang had no choice but to mentor Tan Xiaoxiao himself.
March arrived in the blink of an eye. Lan Jian had almost finished the question bank that Chongming had prepared for her, and she had also prepared the content for the lectures that the director needed her to give at the military base. Lan Jian only had one seminar credit left this semester. After she gave an oral presentation of a journal article at the end of February, she wouldn't have to attend any more classes.
Taking advantage of the pleasant spring weather, Chongming took Lanjian on a business trip to teach troops.
The first stop was the Valiant Battalion, the most important of all the military forces in the Lu family.
This was the first time Lan Jian had seen Chongming in military uniform. His dark blue military uniform was crisp and dignified, with the word "Heroic" written on his armband. He wasn't wearing any rank insignia. Lan Jian asked him if he had military status, and Chongming was silent for a while before answering, "I used to, but after my father was promoted to Commander-in-Chief, I was supposed to take over the Heroic Battalion, but I didn't agree. Now, my brother is the acting battalion commander of the Heroic Battalion."
This guy is the sex guide of Chongming.
Dou Yaozu.
Dou Yaozu personally led the team to stand at attention on both sides of the tree-lined road to welcome the future battalion commander and his wife into the camp.
Seeing Meng Lanjian walking gracefully in a moon-white cheongsam, and Chongming beside her in his long-unseen military uniform, Dou Yaozu couldn't help but sigh inwardly, "The commander has such good taste, bringing together such a perfect couple. What a great deed, what a great deed!"
After a brief exchange of pleasantries with the Chongming couple, Dou Yaozu walked into the lecture hall he had visited many times before. He used to be a young soldier sitting in the audience, but now he was standing on the podium in this classroom. Even though he was usually calm and composed, Lan Jian, who was testing his presentation pen at the lectern, could still tell that he seemed a little nervous.
She gently squeezed Chongming's hand, which was hidden under the table. Chongming looked at her elegant and exquisite moon-white cheongsam and steadied himself.
The entire room was silent and solemn. Chongming saluted all the officers present, and only after returning the salute did he take off his military cap and begin his lecture on nuclear physics and radiation protection.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am Lu Dingyue, a postdoctoral researcher at the Heavy Particle Laboratory of the Institute of Nuclear Research at Nanlu University. To my right is my junior colleague, Meng Lanjian, who will be my teaching assistant for this course."
Chongming gestured towards Lan Jian, who was standing at the lectern controlling the presentation, and enthusiastic, well-organized applause erupted from the audience. Dou Yaozu, sitting in the first row...
A question mark slowly appeared in his mind—was Chongming not planning to introduce this junior sister as his wife?
"Before we begin the formal lesson, I would like you to observe what color clothes my teaching assistant is wearing?"
Dou Yaozu had a second question in his mind—do all the top students at Nanjing University attend classes like this?
Lan Jian was also baffled by Chongming's approach. From the audience came responses like "blue" and "light blue." Chongming calmly raised the microphone and said, "Your answers are all correct, but not precise."
“In traditional culture, this color is called ‘moon white’. This is because the ancients believed that the moon’s color was not pure white, but rather had a faint blue tint.” Chongming walked gracefully to the center of the podium and continued, “Before I formally introduce the topic of nuclear physics and cosmic ray protection, I would like to leave you with a question.”
"From ancient times to the present, we have seen the same bright moon as the ancients. So, is the moon a luminous body?"
Dou Yaozu raised his third question mark of the day—even someone like him who doesn't study physics knows that the moon shines by reflecting sunlight, so what is this Chongming kid up to?
After a brief introduction, Chongming began his formal lecture. As he explained the basics and applications of physics, the soldiers were captivated and began taking notes in unison.
The class lasted three hours. During the five-minute break, Chongming went to the toilet to drink some water, but was stopped by a group of energetic soldiers who kept asking him questions.
Looking at their eager expressions, Chongming smiled and shook his head. "You're all still wondering whether the moon is a luminous body, aren't you?" He glanced down at the formula in one of their notes. "The answer to this question isn't that complicated. I'll answer it for you after I finish explaining the radiometric techniques in the second half of the course."
The class resumed, and Chongming's answer was not revealed until the very end.
"I'm sure you're all eager to know the answer to the question I asked you before we started class: 'Is the moon a luminous body?'"
"Actually, the moon is also a luminous body."
As Chongming spoke, he looked in the direction of Meng Lanjian. She was also looking at him, focused and mesmerized.
"This theory comes from the mentor of an old professor at our nuclear research institute. The professor believed that meteorite particles scattered on the lunar surface, when struck by protons from space, could emit light when the temperature exceeded 250 degrees Fahrenheit. This is because on the dark side of the moon, where the sun doesn't shine, the surface temperature is as low as -240 degrees Fahrenheit. When the dark side faces the sun, the temperature rises rapidly. Therefore, within a region about 160 kilometers wide at the lunar eclipse boundary, the moon itself could emit light."
"The reason I raised this question at the beginning is to tell you that the charm and greatness of science lies in the fact that it will overturn our inherent and outdated understanding time and time again, using precise data and changing formulas to lead us to appreciate the mysteries of the universe. With scientific theories and verifications, the truths we believe in will live on forever in our hearts, just like the sun, moon and stars above us, and the mountains and trees beneath our feet!"
"That concludes my lesson for today. Thank you all for attending."
Amidst thunderous applause, Chongming looked once more at Meng Lanjian, who was quietly watching him.
Lan Jian also applauded enthusiastically for his brilliant speech.
At this moment, Chongming had a thousand words in his heart, but he could only sum them up in one short sentence—
“My Lanjian, you too are a luminous body.”
*From Wu Xiaole's "But I Just Don't Like It"
The article uses the theory of nuclear physicist Professor Sun Guanhan, adapted and quoted from the internet.
@Author: Actually, both Lan Jian and Chong Ming longed to stand shoulder to shoulder with each other, but from Chong Ming's perspective, his initial thoughts were for the sake of the nuclear research institute, not from a romantic standpoint. Therefore, he couldn't tell Lan Jian the truth directly.
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