Kiss you and kiss me.
"Kiss you and kiss me."
44.
Why did Lan Jian not go home to celebrate the Spring Festival with her parents when Chongming clearly sent her to the airport before the Spring Festival last year?
“Because I had a fight with my mom.” Meng Lanjian felt a little embarrassed when she thought about it, but so what? No matter what Chongming thought of her, she could not erase the influence her parents had on her. “My mom can’t drive, my dad is too busy to pick me up, and the drivers we hired have all gone home for the New Year. So before I boarded the plane, my uncle said he would pick me up, but after I landed, I saw a message from my mom. She was visiting my aunt’s house, so she told my uncle not to bother, that I was old enough to go home by myself.”
Upon hearing this, Chongming frowned. He thought, no wonder Lanjian was estranged from her parents. Even if they hoped their child would be independent, what kind of mother would refuse to pick up her child and prevent others from picking up their children to go home for the Spring Festival? If it were Ms. Ming Zijuan, chartering a plane to bring their eldest daughter home would be a common occurrence.
“You know how short-tempered I am. As soon as I saw the news, I immediately packed my bags, changed terminals, bought a plane ticket, and flew abroad to spend the New Year with my second uncle.” Lan Jian sighed softly. “Later I found out that my mom heard from my aunt that my cousin was also going home on the same day as me, but he was not at the same airport. My uncle told my cousin to go home by himself, but he came to pick me up at another airport. My mom felt bad about it and declined my uncle’s offer without consulting me.”
"Of course I could choose to take a taxi home, but the airport is remote, and my family would worry about my safety if I, a girl, took a taxi alone. They never let me go home by myself. My mom never considers this. She thinks she raised me to be very independent and self-protective. In her eyes, I should be an all-powerful adult, not a daughter who always depends on her parents." Lan Jian sighed. "Because of this, my mom and I didn't contact each other for three months. Even during the Spring Festival, I didn't say 'Happy New Year' to her. I wanted to teach my mother to apologize to her child in this way. But as a mother, she is always stubborn and aloof, and at the same time, she is spoiled by my father and doesn't need to wrong herself. I couldn't wait for her apology. Later, some elders in the family found out the reason and advised me to make up with my mom. They all thought I was just being stubborn. They all said that, even my pen pal from college said that. So I had no choice but to write a letter to my mom and tell her my thoughts. She replied to me, saying that she wanted me to know that she loved me very much, but she didn't mention an apology at all."
As Lan Jian spoke, her voice grew softer and softer. She lowered her head and looked down, trying to hide her listlessness, but then she heard Chongming's clear and gentle voice asking from above, "They all say that, so who are they?"
“It’s my aunt, my second uncle, and my cousin Meng Qi and Meng Yang from my uncle’s family.” Lan Jian pulled a tissue from the table and clenched it in her hand. She didn’t dare to look at Chongming, and she didn’t dare to expose her vulnerable side to him again. “They are the closest family members I have in the world besides my father and mother.”
"But they might not be right."
Chongming felt sorry for Lanjian's situation. He recalled that when she first returned to the lab this spring, she did seem preoccupied and sullen. He had only given her a red envelope, and she had smiled exceptionally happily. Now, thinking back, he regretted not asking his junior colleague why, despite noticing her unusual behavior, she hadn't asked him why a simple red envelope could make her so happy.
Why is this happening?
When Lan Jian occasionally sees someone praising a well-mannered and composed young person, she would say, "Only children who grow up in an environment where their parents love each other and they are bathed in love can be so confident and self-assured."
To outsiders, Meng Lanjian has always been the kind of confident and self-assured child.
But this child has always known that, even to her parents, she is not the first person they would choose.
Her parents would leave her with the maids at home while they secretly went on dates to clear their heads. Occasionally, they would take her out on short notice because they felt guilty for always going on dates without her, eventually turning it into a family gathering. From a very young age, Meng was cared for by various servants and relatives.
Lan Jian was not aware of this, but as she grew up after her grandmother passed away, she became increasingly aware that she was isolated from her parents. They gave her companionship and love, but they could never put her first.
Meng Lanjian then realized that it is only natural for parents to love their children, but the person parents love most besides themselves does not necessarily have to be their own child.
There's nothing inherently wrong with this situation, but it fostered in Meng Lanjian a habit of easily exaggerating the kindness shown to her by others. She treated all external help as an extra gift, because in her world, even the kindness of her parents wasn't something to be taken for granted.
My father is good to me because I am Mama's child; Mama is good to me because I am the fruit of her love.
A child who knows gratitude is always gentle and kind, as delicate as a soft pudding cake. Even if someone pokes her with a fork, the horrifying hole will be slowly absorbed and disappear on its own. This indirect internal friction almost constantly regulates her, forcing her to become a tolerant and generous adult who dislikes unnecessary trouble.
That's why she chose to back down when her other family members advised her to reconcile with her mother who had hurt her. It wasn't that she had to do it, but rather that she was disheartened by these repeated tug-of-wars and preferred to give in in order to have a clear conscience.
"Actually, I originally planned to go to that small town in Europe to visit my second uncle for a vacation and spend the Spring Festival. My second uncle is unmarried and lives alone in a small red brick house with his vineyard in front of it. But the grapevines withered in winter, and every day when I opened the window on the second floor and saw that scene, my mood couldn't brighten up."
Meng Lanjian once hoped that her second uncle, who had no children, could treat her as his own child.
“My second uncle and my dad are about the same age. They used to fight over who would get my dad’s attention when they were kids. But as they grew up, they became the closest of friends. I used to think that my second uncle was the best to me. Every year during Chinese New Year, he would give me very expensive chocolates and very thick red envelopes. Until one year, there was a box of the same chocolates and a red envelope of the same thickness in his car. He said that it wasn’t for me, but for the daughter of his friend who was the district head. That’s when I realized that he treated me, Meng Qi, Meng Yang, and all the other children the same way. I’m not his child, and he won’t treat me like his own.”
"So last winter was very long for me. Because of its developed economy, the holiday in that small European town seemed to be automatically extended indefinitely after Christmas. Almost no shops were open, and the scenery was similar everywhere I went. I left the city by bus before the Spring Festival and took a train to Italy to visit my great-uncle's seventh cousin, the one with two acres of garden in front of her house." Meng Lanjian paused for a moment, her expression no longer showing any sorrow. "Actually, I feel most comfortable with these distant relatives. They don't try to teach me life lessons, nor do they blindly praise my courage and independence. They only care about where I want to go today, what I want to eat tomorrow, and whether I have enough paintbrushes for sketching... And then there's my thirteenth cousin, Li Ying. He's the most interesting person I've ever met. His grandmother is my grandfather's beloved niece, who is not related to him by blood. His family moved to Iceland a long time ago. Every time my little cousin Ying sees me in Iceland, he lies and says he's eating whale meat. I've been scared by him since I was a child, but I still fall for his tricks every time."
"But Xiao Ying is also the best brother to me. We only see each other once in a long while, sometimes every two or three years, sometimes every four or five years. In the letters and postcards he writes to me, he always says, 'Meng Lanjian, you are your grandfather's favorite granddaughter, the apple of our Meng family's eye. You must take good care of yourself.'"
"Later, whenever Xiao Ying made me so angry that I wanted to break off our relationship, I would think of these words and then I couldn't bear to cut ties with him."
As Lan Jian finished speaking, tears finally fell onto the tissue, soaking through the snow-white fibers and seeping into her palm.
Chongming watched her tears fall, his throat already sore that even swallowing saliva was painful. He listened quietly until Lan Jian finished speaking before reaching out to hug her. She buried her face in his arms, trembling slightly, her voice weak and feeble—
"But why did Grandpa love me the most, yet I only received six hundred thousand US dollars in the inheritance..."
Chongming's heart, which had been sinking along with hers, was shattered by her sudden concern over "six hundred thousand US dollars." He held back, managing to exhale for a moment, until his chest began to heave violently.
Meng Lanjian suddenly burst into tears, "I'm so sad and you're still laughing! Waaah..."
She spoke while crying, her tone both melodious and strange, which made Chongming unable to suppress his laughter.
"Don't cry, don't cry!" Chongming patted her back to help her catch her breath. "I only laughed because I thought you were cute."
"You're lying! I'm already in such a miserable state, and you still think I'm cute! Are you crazy?!"
"Yes, I really have gone mad." Chongming stroked her hair, his tenderness flowing from his fingertips, one stroke after another, as if expressing all his affection and excitement. "I was actually seriously thinking just now, would the phrase 'precious pearl' be appropriate to use for my own wife?"
Meng Lanjian instantly stopped crying, her reddened eyes filled with tears, and she looked up at Chongming with a bewildered and innocent expression.
That look in her eyes is so captivating.
It was like a puppy finding its lost treasure again.
Before she could speak, Chongming kissed her swollen, red lips from crying. His tongue forcefully plunged in, sealing her lips with a kiss—it seemed to be a natural talent. Chongming sucked hard on Lanjian's small tongue, and she passionately gripped his collar, her slender arms clinging to his broad shoulders like vines, her swaying waist offering her two soft, full breasts into his embrace.
Chongming's thumb brushed against the corner of her eye, and after withdrawing his lips and tongue, he lingered on her lips, gently touching her cheek. He pressed his chin against the top of her head, and after she had caught her breath and was no longer panting, he continued, "Lanjian, you must remember that you are married to me. We have formed our own family, and in the future, we may have children of our own. No matter how your parents treat you, or how you treat your children, you must always put loving yourself first."
“Everyone understands this principle, but not everyone can do it well. But I always believe that only when you love yourself the most will you truly feel the love of others, and what that love is like.” Chongming wiped away her remaining tears and smiled gently at her, “Because apart from your love for yourself, all other kinds of love have a comparative degree.”
Lan Jian nodded as if she understood, "I understand!"
Seeing how quickly she agreed, Chongming smiled and tapped her red, tear-stained nose. "How about we make a chart of five little things we can do to love ourselves every day?"
"No good." Meng Lanjian shook her head as soon as she heard about this. Why did Chongming always seem to be possessed by his senior brother? She didn't want to set so many rules for herself!
"If you want to love yourself, start by refusing to create this list of five things to do to love yourself!"
Chongming, caught off guard, raised an eyebrow, grabbed her waist, and pulled her onto his lap. "So how are you going to let me know that you're taking good care of yourself?"
“From the fact that I will eat properly every day, and I will say good morning to you and ask you to say good night to me, and…” Lan Jian looked around. This kitchen was the kitchen where they first kissed. They began their deep and intimate contact here, from their lips to their tongues, from the root of their tongues to their philtrum.
She cupped Chongming's face in her hands, her slender neck drooping gracefully like a delicate orchid.
“Kiss you,” she whispered, sealing his lips with a kiss being her specialty, “and kiss me.”
Chongming left a deep and lingering kiss on the last note of Menglanjian.
"Okay, we'll check it every day from now on."
@Author's comment:
Why is 1.po18 so difficult to access?
2. I have something to do tomorrow, so I'll be merging tomorrow's update to save space!
3. I can't even remember what it was like to update at 9 pm before. *crying*
4. I felt a pang of tenderness as I wrote the last part. Lan Jian hadn't yet grown into a well-behaved adult, which was really nice!
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