Should we revert to a senior-junior relationship?
"Revert to a senior-junior relationship?"
47.
Chongming's car was still parked in front of Xie Nandu's house. When he went to get the car, Xie Nandu heard the noise from the second-floor balcony and whistled at him, "Doudou, come over for lunch. I'll make you some pigeon soup."
Chongming gently honked the horn in the car to indicate "I understand." The drive was less than five minutes, but Chongming drove very slowly. Even when he arrived at his own doorstep, he didn't get out of the car, but simply sat quietly watching the snow.
The snow started falling again. The birch forest must be breathtaking at this time. Chongming had wanted to take Lanjian into the woods to play in the snow, but now that the two were arguing, he didn't know how to start the conversation.
Someone gently knocked on the car window, and Chongming saw that Lan Jian had come out without even wearing a coat. He rolled down the window and, before Lan Jian could speak, preemptively said, "Let's talk in the car."
Lan Jian was wearing slippers from home, which had become a bit loose from running all the way out. The snow outside the gate was even thicker, and they slipped off after a few steps. A little anxious, she decided to walk around the front of the car to the passenger side, stepping through the snow. The moment she opened the door, a cold wind carrying snowflakes rushed into the car. On the passenger side carpet were a pair of small feet wearing fluffy long socks, with bits of snow still clinging to the bottoms.
Chongming watched as she kicked off her slippers, feeling both helpless and amused. He softened his tone considerably, "You come out without a coat, aren't you cold?"
"I saw you sitting in the car the whole time, and I was afraid you'd drive off, so I ran over. Don't you feel cold?" It would take at least seven or eight minutes to walk from inside to the door. Lan Jian was panting heavily as she reached out and grabbed Chongming's forearm, which was still gripping the steering wheel. "Take me to the birch forest, I want to go."
Chongming took off his coat and put it over Lanjian's arm. His coat looked like a child wearing a theatrical robe to her, as it was longer than her knees. Chongming glanced at her feet, which were only wearing socks. "This is all private land, so you don't need to wear a seatbelt. You can cover your feet with your coat, so it's okay if you step on them."
Upon hearing this, Lan Jian obediently bent her knees and tucked both feet into the spacious seat. Chongming's coat carried the woody scent of his wardrobe and the comforting warmth of his body. She sat in the warm, spring-like car, watching Chongming drive silently. Even though she could only see his outline against the backlight, his profile and Adam's apple were still very handsome.
She had never seen him angry before, but even the way he was suppressing his anger and sulking to himself just now, in her eyes, had a kind of restrained sexiness. What impressed Meng Lanjian the most was that he grabbed Meimei's wrist and said, "Don't go, explain yourself!"
Although he spoke to his own sister in a low growl, the sheer authority and sharpness of his words made it hard for her, an onlooker, to breathe. Chongming, even when angry, didn't use physical or verbal violence to subdue people. Instead, he channeled an inner power that surged from his deepest abdomen to his bulging chest, finally erupting from his cold, icy gaze. Just being captured by his eyes felt like having your throat locked, your life or death in his hands.
For Lan Jian, this feeling was very subtle.
“Chongming,” Lan Jian called him softly, “Weiwei told me that the reason you are called ‘Doudou’ is because she had all kinds of bibs when she was very young. When she was learning to speak, you would help her change her bib and say to her, ‘Brother is helping you change your bib.’ So the first word she learned was ‘Doudou,’ which is easier to pronounce than ‘brother’ instead of ‘daddy’ or ‘mama,’ because in her mind, brother is the same as ‘Doudou.’”
Chongming is four or almost five years older than Meimei. When Meimei was just learning to walk and talk, he was already in kindergarten and had his own memories. When Meimei was born, to him it was like having another toy that could cry and laugh. He took on the role of the "older brother" in a playhouse, taking care of his Meimei. He would put a pacifier in her mouth when she cried and change her into his favorite bib when she started to sit up and eat.
"Yes, so on my kindergarten graduation day, my mom held her in the audience as I did my homework. She was so excited that she kept calling me 'DouDou,' and from then on, Xie Nandu, Dou Yaozu, and their childhood friends all started calling me 'DouDou' too..."
Seeing that Chongming's tone had softened, Lan Jian assumed that the morning's incident was over. However, she felt that Chongming's claim that she bought the pregnancy test for Weiwei was an attempt to protect her and a misunderstanding of her intentions. "Chongming," she said, "I bought the pregnancy test for Weiwei because I'm a girl too. If I were in that situation, and I had a sister-in-law or a married female friend, I would ask them for help as well. I did this not because she's your sister-in-law and I wanted to please her, but because I'm a woman myself and I want to consider things from a woman's perspective."
The car slowly drove into the forest. Birch trees stood tall amidst the swirling snowflakes, like rows of milk chocolate bars rising from the ground. There was a safe house every mile along the forest path, and an alarm post every half mile. Chongming bypassed the monitored area and parked the car in front of a tall birch tree. He listened attentively to Lan Jian's words, then turned and quietly looked at her for a moment.
"But she is my only sister. Any man in this world could hurt her or make her suffer, but I would never do that."
It is precisely because Meimei accompanied me as I grew up that Chongming is more...
Most men are better at respecting and protecting women. They will put themselves in the woman's shoes and be more considerate of the feelings of other women around them. These are all their strengths.
Lan Jian's intention was to make Chongming understand her good intentions in helping Weiwei, but his attention seemed entirely focused on Weiwei, and he didn't seem to care much about what she was saying, making it impossible for her to continue the conversation. This side of Chongming made Lan Jian envious of Weiwei, who had an older brother who loved and protected her, and at the same time, it made her see the missing piece in herself that she could never get over.
That missing piece is what she takes for granted whenever she sees her parents returning from a happy date; it's what she admires when she sees Meng Qi and Meng Yang bickering but always standing up for each other when trouble comes; it's what she knows even in her wits: no matter how good Zhuang Huiting and Guan Shaoxiao are to her, the closest of the three of them must be the Guan-Zhuang duo, who were classmates from high school to university and all the way to graduate school.
There must be people in this world who are completely alone, without siblings, best friends, or even parents. Meng Lanjian is already much luckier than the vast majority of people, but she still has to rely on loving herself to fill the void in her heart.
What is that missing corner?
Meng Lanjian remembers joking with Xiao Ying once, saying that she felt like she was born to fight the world one against two.
Little Ying asked her, "What is 1V2?"
“It’s like I was fighting alone when I ran into a team of two,” Meng Lanjian murmured unconsciously. “Chongming, you are really a very, very good older brother.”
Chongming didn't hear her first whisper clearly, assuming she was praising him, so he reached out and touched her head resting on her chin, jokingly saying, "You're not the kind of wife who gets jealous even of Meimei, are you?"
Lan Jian shook her head. She smiled at Chongming, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her harsh words came suddenly and fiercely, "Of course not. Because if it weren't for an arranged marriage, I would never marry a man with a mistress."
Startled by her sharp words, Chongming frowned and stared intently into Meng Lanjian's eyes. She met his gaze without backing down, and what she said didn't sound like a joke, but Chongming sensed something strange. "Are you deliberately provoking me, Meng Lanjian?"
Meng Lanjian withdrew her gaze, chuckled, and took off her Chongming coat. "Do I really need to?"
Her feet touched the ground, and they seemed to be a little numb from sitting for too long. She took a moment to recover before continuing, "It's just what I really think. I'm not just saying it to be pretentious."
She put her coat back on Chongming's lap, "I'm going downstairs to play in the snow for a while."
She turned to open the car door, only to find that Chongming had locked it. She went to find the control buttons on the driver's seat, but Chongming reached out and grabbed her wrist, asking, "You said before that you didn't want me to treat you like you treated Meimei, but you also wanted to retain the privileges of being my junior sister. Now you're saying that if it weren't for the arranged marriage, you would never have married a man who has Meimei... Meng Lanjian, don't you think you're always acting on a whim, making it impossible for anyone to know how to treat you?"
They always act on a whim.
Lan Jian understood Chongming's implication: he was implying that she was being pretentious.
“Chongming,” Lan Jian steadied herself, forcibly shutting down the mechanism that was about to trigger her tears, “I’ve always wanted an older brother since I was little, but since that’s impossible, I turned to hoping for a boyfriend who would be like an older brother. But when I actually found out that you treat me the same way you treat Meimei, I realized that this is not what I want at all. I’ve never been in a relationship much before, I only know what I don’t want, not what I want. I don’t want to marry a man who has Meimei because I don’t want to be trapped in a relationship where I envy others for having what I don’t. Blood ties cannot be changed, but marriage is a choice.”
"I just never imagined that I wouldn't even have the opportunity to choose my own marriage."
At this point, Lan Jian mimicked the tone Chongming had used that morning when he apologized for not wearing a condom, and retorted sarcastically, "If my immaturity bothers you, I'm truly sorry."
"To relieve you of the burden of my constant nagging and your inability to know how to be a husband, let's just go back to being fellow students and be a seemingly harmonious and friendly arranged marriage."
After Lan Jian finished speaking, she tried to break free of Chong Ming's grip on her wrists and press the unlock button.
"Revert to the relationship of fellow disciples? Meng Lanjian, how could you say such a thing?"
Chongming felt as if every word Meng Lanjian said pierced his heart. He felt as if his heart was being stabbed with one bloody hole after another, and he was about to go crazy. He lost his mind and grabbed Meng Lanjian's slender wrist, dragging her from the passenger seat to the driver's seat and onto him.
Meng Lanjian struggled violently, but Chongming easily grabbed her waist and pinned her to the steering wheel.
"Tell me, is this something that can be done by a simple senior-junior relationship or a fake marriage?"
As soon as he finished speaking, Chongming lifted Lanjian's thin knitted sweater with one hand and lowered his head to kiss her high, soft breasts, which were squeezed into a deep cleavage.
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