Chapter 17: After waking up, cold words are like knives
The tent smelled strongly of medicine, mixed with a faint scent of ink, lingering on the tip of her nose. Yun Zhi's consciousness slowly emerged, as if from the depths of the ocean. First, she heard a soft breathing sound beside her ear, then felt a dull pain in her shoulder, and finally, with great difficulty, she reluctantly opened her heavy eyelids.
The light was a bit glaring, and she squinted, adjusting for a moment before she could clearly see the scene before her. Xiao Jin sat in a chair beside the bed, his dark robes slightly wrinkled, his eyes slightly bloodshot, clearly having been waiting for a long time. His gaze rested on her face, a hint of nervousness she had never seen before, as if he was verifying the integrity of some treasure.
"Are you awake?" His voice was a little hoarse, a few notes lower than usual, less cold and hard, and more subtly gentle.
Yun Zhi's heart skipped a beat, as if it had been gently bumped by something. She recalled the scene before she lost consciousness—the arrow shot at her, her throwing herself in front of him, the sharp pain in her shoulder, and his panicked cries as he ran with her in his arms...
It turned out that he was really worried about her.
This thought flashed through her mind, and a glimmer of light instantly ignited in her eyes. She opened her mouth, wanting to speak, but found her throat was so dry and painful that she could only utter a weak sound: "Prince...Prince..."
Xiao Jin immediately stood up, poured a glass of warm water, and carefully helped her sit up, letting her lean against his arms. His arms were strong and a little cold, but they made her feel particularly reassured. The warm water slid down her throat, relieving the dry pain and making her more conscious.
"How do you feel? Does your shoulder still hurt?" he asked, gently touching the gauze on her shoulder with his fingers, as if he was afraid of breaking it.
Yun Zhi shook her head, her eyes filled with a hint of dependence and a hint of expectation that she herself hadn't even noticed. She thought that after this incident, Xiao Jin would at least treat her a little differently, at least understand that she wasn't deliberately trying to be Shen Qingyue's substitute, let alone plotting against him.
She even secretly thought in her heart that perhaps, his feelings towards her had long been more than just hatred.
But this expectation only lasted for a short moment before it was completely shattered by Xiao Jin's next words.
Just as she was about to say, "I'm fine, thank you, Your Highness," Xiao Jin suddenly let go of his hand and took a half step back, widening the distance between them. The tension and gentleness in his eyes instantly vanished, replaced by a cold, scrutinizing gaze, as if he were looking at a stranger with ulterior motives.
"Tell me," he began, his voice as cold as if he had just been pulled out of an ice cellar, and every word piercing his heart, "How long have you been plotting this cruel scheme?"
The color drained from Yun Zhi's face instantly. She looked at Xiao Jin in disbelief, thinking she had misheard. "Your Majesty, what did you say?"
"I say, how long have you been planning this scheme of deliberately shielding me from the enemy's wrath, this self-torture scheme?" Xiao Jin repeated, his tone thick with undisguised sarcasm. "Are you hoping to change my mind and give me a higher position? Or are you hoping to use the title of 'meritorious rescue' to replace Qingyue in my heart? Yunzhi, your intentions are so obvious."
"No!" Yun Zhi shook her head violently, her heart felt like it was being pierced by an ice pick, and she trembled with pain. "I didn't plot against you! The situation was urgent, I just... I just didn't want anything to happen to you! I didn't want to replace Miss Shen, let alone fight for any position!"
Her voice was filled with tears, and the glimmer in her eyes gradually faded, leaving only panic and grievance. She didn't understand why she had risked her life, but instead received such doubts and ridicule instead of gratitude from him.
"Don't want to?" Xiao Jin sneered, his eyes filled with contempt. "If you didn't want to, why did you rush out at that moment? If you didn't want to, why do you always put on such a pitiful look in front of me? Yun Zhi, don't think that I don't know what you're thinking - you're just relying on the fact that you resemble Qingyue, trying to take advantage of the situation and make me fall in love with you so that you can get rid of your identity as a 'slave'!"
"I didn't!" Yun Zhi couldn't hold back her tears, which finally fell. They slid down her cheeks and dripped onto her clothes, leaving a small wet mark. "I've never thought of it this way! I know I'm a slave, a substitute, and I never dared to ask for anything! I volunteered to take the blame. I just... I just didn't want you to die!"
"Voluntary?" Xiao Jin interrupted her, pressing her step by step. The coldness in his eyes almost froze her. "Don't forget, your father is a traitor, and you are the daughter of a guilty minister! I have spared your life and allowed you to live in the palace. This is already the greatest mercy I can offer you! You still dare to use such means to plot against me now? Do you think you are worthy?"
The words "daughter of a traitor" struck Yun Zhi's heart like a heavy hammer. She recalled her father's resolute execution, her mother's tenderness as she died a chaste death, the bloodshed that covered the entire Grand Tutor's household... These were the labels Xiao Jin had personally placed on her, the shackles she could never shake off.
But she never thought of plotting against him!
She just... just saw the cold arrow shot at him, and instinctively wanted to protect him. Even though he was so cruel to her, even though he forced her to drink sterilizing soup, made her kneel in the snow, and whipped her, she still didn't want him to die.
Because she still remembered that young general in silver armor had smiled gently at her at a palace banquet when she was young; because she still held a glimmer of hope that he might not really hate her that much; because she still foolishly believed that as long as she was obedient and patient enough, one day he would see her true heart.
But now, he used the harshest words to trample her sincerity under his feet and crush it to pieces.
"I'm not worthy..." Yun Zhi's voice became lower and lower, tears fell more fiercely, and her shoulders trembled slightly because of crying, "I'm not worthy of you, and I'm not worthy of being Miss Shen's substitute... I shouldn't have taken the blame, and I shouldn't have expected a trace of your mercy... It's my fault, I shouldn't have had any inappropriate thoughts..."
Her words seemed to be an admission of fault, but also a sign of complete resignation. The last bit of light in her eyes finally died out, leaving only a dead silence, like a bottomless, cold pond.
Xiao Jin felt an inexplicable surge of irritation as he watched her like this. He should have felt relieved—this slave who had plotted against him had finally been exposed, finally knowing his duty. But as he looked at the dead silence in her eyes, at her silent tears, his heart felt like it was blocked by something, a dull pain that made him feel breathless.
"It's good that you know you're wrong," he forced himself to look away, his tone still cold and hard, but less sharp than before, "Heal your wounds well and don't have any more evil thoughts. Remember your identity and don't do anything that disgusts this king again."
After saying this, he didn't look at her again, turned around and walked out of the tent quickly. The tent door was slammed shut, blocking out the light from outside and also blocking out the last bit of his warmth.
Yun Zhi leaned against the headboard, looking at the empty tent. Tears continued to fall, but the grievance and panic she had felt before were gone, leaving only numb pain. She raised her hand and gently touched the wound on her shoulder. It still hurt, but compared to the pain in her heart, it was nothing.
She remembered the bowl of pitch-black sterilization soup on her wedding night, the biting cold when she knelt in the snow, the flames when the wrist guard was thrown into the charcoal brazier, the endless humiliation when she caught spit on her hand, the excruciating pain when the whip landed on her back... and this time, she blocked the cold arrow with her life, but in return she was questioned about her "torture tactic".
It turned out that all her efforts, all her forbearance, and all her sincerity were just "calculation" and "disgusting" in his eyes.
What on earth was she expecting?
Did she expect someone who hated her entire family to be gentle with her? Did she expect someone who treated her as a substitute to see her true heart?
That's so stupid.
Yun Zhi slowly closed her eyes, tears falling silently onto the pillow. Her body stopped trembling, and her breathing gradually became steady. However, in her tightly closed eyes, the previous dependence and expectation were no longer there, leaving only an icy silence.
The pain in her heart continued, more painful than the wound on her shoulder, but it also made her completely sober.
From today on, she would no longer have any illusions about Xiao Jin.
She would no longer expect his tenderness, would no longer ask for his mercy, and would no longer foolishly give her heart to him.
She no longer lives to be someone's substitute, nor to expect him to come back.
She lives only to uncover the injustice in the Taifu Mansion, avenge her parents, and seek justice for the wronged souls of her entire family.
As for Xiao Jin...
He is her enemy and the biggest obstacle on her road to revenge.
From now on, there is only hatred between them, nothing else.
Yun Zhi slowly opened her eyes, the dead silence in them gradually fading, replaced by a hint of cold determination. She raised her hand, wiped the tears from her face, and clenched the bed sheet beneath her, her knuckles turning white.
The wound on her shoulder still hurt, but her heart felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her, and she felt more relaxed than ever before.
Because she knew that Yun Zhi, who was foolishly in love with Xiao Jin, was dead.
The one who is alive now is Yun Zhi, who is bent on revenge.
Outside the tent, Xiao Jin stood in the cold wind, holding a sachet he had just taken from the guards in his hand - it was found in Yun Zhi's servant's room before, and it was filled with dried osmanthus flowers, a variety unique to the back garden of the Taifu Mansion.
He looked at the sachet, his irritation growing heavier. He clearly felt that he was not wrong and that Yun Zhi was plotting against him, but when he thought of her dead silence just now and her helplessness when she shed tears, his heart ached.
"She must be pretending," he whispered to himself, trying to convince himself, "She just wants to soften my heart by looking so pitiful. I won't be fooled."
But he held the sachet in his hand tighter and tighter until the fabric wrinkled, then he suddenly let go, turned around and walked quickly towards his tent.
He didn't know that what he had just said had completely killed the last bit of love Yun Zhi had for him, and also laid the heaviest foreshadowing for his long and painful pursuit of his wife in the future.
Yun Zhi, in the tent, was looking out the window at the sky, her eyes cold and determined. She knew her road to revenge had just begun.
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