Chapter 6: Hands catching spit, extreme humiliation
The main hall of the palace was festooned with lanterns and the sound of stringed instruments lingered in the air. Thick red candles burned in gilded candlesticks, their flames illuminating the brocaded garments adorning the hall. The air was thick with the aroma of wine, food, and the sweet, lingering scent of incense worn by the noble ladies. Today was Xiao Jin's birthday, and the palace had hosted a banquet for most of the officials and dignitaries in the capital, creating a lively scene of singing and dancing.
Yun Zhi huddled in the shadows of a corner, clutching a heavy copper kettle, her fingertips white from the strain. She wore the coarsest of gray maid's clothes, the collar frayed and the hem stained with dust from the morning's sweeping. She stood out against the glittering surroundings, like a grain of sand accidentally dropped into brocade.
Ever since her wristband burned, she'd been assigned by the housekeeper to the lowest level of menial work. No longer needing to deliberately imitate Shen Qingyue, she'd become a punching bag for everyone in the palace. At today's banquet, she'd thought she could hide in the menial room without having to come out, but the housekeeper dragged her out anyway and forced her to serve in the main hall. The pretext was "showing the guests how even menial work in the prince's palace is disciplined," but in reality, it was simply to make her, a "substitute for a criminal slave," a laughingstock.
"Yunzhi! What are you standing there for? Master Li's glass is empty, why don't you go and refill it!" The housekeeper's sharp voice came from the side, with undisguised disdain, "Be quick! If you neglect the guests, you'll be in trouble!"
Yun Zhi quickly replied, "Yes," and walked over, carrying the copper kettle. As she passed the main seat, she subconsciously glanced up—Xiao Jin was sitting at the head, dressed in a purple brocade robe with a python pattern, a jade belt tied around his waist, his black hair tied back with a jade crown. His brows and eyes were filled with the majesty of a superior. He was holding a glass of wine and talking to the Minister of Personnel next to him. A faint smile played at the corner of his mouth, but it didn't reach his eyes, which still revealed a sense of distant coldness.
His eyes occasionally swept across the hall, but never fell on her, as if she was just a transparent shadow, not even worthy of his disgust.
Yun Zhi's heart felt like it was pricked by a needle, but soon returned to silence - she should have been used to it, right?
She walked over to Lord Li, the Minister of Revenue, and bent down to refill his glass of wine. But Lord Li suddenly raised his hand to stop her. His cloudy eyes looked her up and down, and a malicious smile appeared on the corner of his mouth: "Are you the slave in His Royal Highness Duan's mansion...who looks like Miss Shen?"
Several eyes instantly converged on her, some curious, some disdainful, and some gloating. Yun Zhi's face flushed crimson, then quickly turned pale. She lowered her head and spoke in a mosquito-like voice, "Yes..."
"Tsk tsk," Lord Li smacked his lips, deliberately raising his voice so that everyone around him could hear, "She does look quite interesting, but it's a pity that she was born a convict and can't be on the stage. Unlike Miss Shen, she is a true lady from a noble family, worthy of the prince."
These words seemed to be meant to please Xiao Jin, but also seemed to be deliberately humiliating Yun Zhi. A few low chuckles could be heard from the surroundings, and those laughs were like pebbles, hitting Yun Zhi's heart, causing her fingertips to tremble with pain.
She gripped the handle of the copper kettle tightly, wanting only to finish the wine quickly and escape the suffocating gaze. But Lord Li had no intention of letting her go. He slowly drank a sip of wine, suddenly coughed a few times, and then, in front of everyone, "pu" (puff) he spat a mouthful of thick phlegm onto the smooth bluestone floor.
The spit stains stuck to the ground, yellow and white, and were particularly eye-catching.
The laughter in the hall stopped instantly, and everyone's eyes focused on the spit, then turned to Yun Zhi. The air was filled with a hint of awkwardness, mixed with a hint of anticipation for a good show.
Yun Zhi froze, staring at the spit on the floor in disbelief, then looked up at Lord Li. Lord Li, however, acted as if nothing had happened. He pointed at the spit on the floor, raised his chin at Yun Zhi, and said in an unquestionable, commanding tone, "What are you standing there for? Can't you see the floor is dirty? Clean it up with your hands!"
Wipe with your hands?
Yun Zhi's pupils suddenly constricted, and her blood seemed to freeze instantly. She looked at the disgusting phlegm stain on the ground, her stomach churning, and even breathing became difficult.
She was the legitimate daughter of the Imperial Tutor's family. Even though her family had fallen on hard times, she was well-educated and well-mannered. From childhood to adulthood, she rarely even touched dirty water, let alone wiped other people's spit with her hands!
"Master Li..." Her voice trembled with a hint of pleading, "I... I'll go get a rag..."
"What rag?" Lord Li glared, deliberately looking at Xiao Jin who was in the main seat, and raised his voice even louder. "Aren't servants supposed to serve their masters according to the rules of the prince's mansion, always available and dedicated? You're still looking for a rag for such a small matter, which shows that you, a servant, don't understand the rules at all! Today, I'll teach you what it means to serve others!"
His words were clearly saying that Yun Zhi didn't know the rules, but in reality he was expressing his loyalty to Xiao Jin - look, I'm helping you teach this unruly slave a lesson.
Everyone's eyes turned to Xiao Jin, waiting to see his reaction. Yun Zhi also raised her head, a last glimmer of hope in her eyes. She knew Xiao Jin didn't like her, but he was the master of the palace and a member of the royal family. He should at least have some respect for her and wouldn't let her do such a humiliating thing, right?
She looked at Xiao Jin and moved her lips as if to call for help, but no sound came out.
Xiao Jin paused, his hand holding the wine glass still. His gaze fell on the spit stain on the floor, then swept across Yun Zhi's pale, stiff face, and finally landed on the flattering face of Lord Li. He was silent for a moment, neither stopping Lord Li nor asking Yun Zhi to get up. He simply took a sip of wine, his eyes expressionless, as if the spit stain on the floor and Yun Zhi's embarrassment had nothing to do with him.
Not stopping it means acquiescence.
This realization was like a heavy hammer, hitting Yun Zhi's heart hard, shattering her last bit of hope.
The sniggering around them started again, louder and more unbridled than before.
"It seems that the prince has agreed..."
"Well, he's just a criminal slave. What's the big deal about wiping his spit with his hands?"
"Who told her to be so overconfident that she wants to climb up the social ladder just because she looks like Miss Shen? She deserves it!"
Those words, like needles, pierced Yun Zhi's heart, leaving her completely pierced. Her nails dug deep into her palms, the pain so intense that she almost cried, but she bit her lower lip tightly, holding back the tears. Even if she was a slave, even if she was a substitute, she still had a pitiful bit of dignity. She couldn't cry in front of so many people.
Seeing Xiao Jin's tacit approval, Lord Li became even more pleased. He scolded Yun Zhi, "Why don't you wipe it off quickly? Are you waiting for the prince to invite you personally?"
Yun Zhi's body trembled uncontrollably, not from the cold, but from the extreme humiliation and anger. She looked at the disgusting spit on the ground, then at Xiao Jin's indifferent face. Her heart felt like it was blocked, and she was almost suffocating.
She remembered her father's determination when he was beheaded, her mother's tenderness when she died for her husband, and the former glory of the Taifu Mansion... If her parents knew that their daughter now had to wipe other people's spit with her hands in front of everyone, how heartbroken would they be?
But she had no choice.
If she refused, Lord Li wouldn't let her go, the housekeeper wouldn't let her go, and even Xiao Jin might punish her more severely for "not knowing the rules." In this palace, she didn't even have the right to refuse.
Yun Zhi took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, she saw only a dead calm. She slowly squatted down and stretched out her right hand—the hand that had once played the piano, written, and sewn wrist guards, but now had to wipe the dirty spit stain.
Her fingertips drew closer and closer to the sputum stain, and the fishy stench rushed into her nostrils, making her stomach churn. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and as soon as her fingertips touched the sticky texture, she shuddered as if she were burned by fire.
"Hahaha, look at how cowardly she is!"
"It's hilarious! I thought he was so tough!"
"A slave is a slave. He was born to serve others!"
The laughter from all around her surged like a tide, drowning her. Yun Zhi's hand froze in mid-air, her nails white from exertion, her knuckles trembling slightly. She could feel countless gazes on her hand, on her body. Those gazes held contempt, ridicule, and pity, but not a trace of respect.
Her dignity, her pride, everything she had, were trampled underfoot and crushed to pieces at this moment.
At this moment, she suddenly felt a gaze falling on her—not mocking, nor disdainful, but with a subtle complexity. She subconsciously looked up, following that gaze, but only saw Xiao Jin's profile, holding a wine glass, still with that indifferent look, as if the previous look was just an illusion.
Yun Zhi's heart sank completely.
Without further hesitation, she used her fingertips to wipe the spit stain onto her sleeve. The sticky touch, tinged with a fishy odor, pierced through the fabric, nearly making her vomit. She suppressed the discomfort in her stomach and quickly wiped the spit stain clean. Then, she abruptly stood up, lowered her head, and quickly walked out of the hall.
She walked quickly, practically running away. She threw the copper kettle to the ground, making a clanging sound, but no one paid any attention—in everyone's eyes, she was just a criminal slave who should be kicked out after wiping her spit. Even her throwing away something was not worthy of being looked at.
Yun Zhi ran all the way out of the main hall, out of the palace's corridors, and finally into the dilapidated servants' quarters. She couldn't hold it in any longer, and leaned against the wall to vomit violently. She vomited so hard that her stomach was completely empty, and in the end, she could only dry heave. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with the vomit stains, making her look miserable.
She leaned against the cold wall, looked at the dirty stain on her sleeve and the fishy smell left on her hands, suddenly covered her face and cried silently.
The crying was suppressed and desperate, like a wounded little animal licking its wounds alone in a dark corner.
She remembered the sterilization soup on her wedding night, the coldness of being forced to kneel in the snow, the wristbands thrown into the charcoal basin, and today, the humiliation of wiping spit with her hands...
One by one, like a knife, it cut her heart and made it bleed.
Xiao Jin, Xiao Jin...
She repeated the name over and over in her mind, and each time she did so, the pain in her heart grew worse. That young general whom she had only glimpsed briefly in her youth, that name she had secretly recited in her dreams, was now the one who had plunged her into hell.
Why?
What did she do wrong?
What did the Taifu Mansion do wrong?
No one answered her. Only the howling wind from the servants' room, bitingly cold, blew in through the crack in the door and blew on her, making her feel even colder.
Yun Zhi slowly stopped crying. She wiped the tears from her face, and the despair in her eyes gradually faded away, replaced by a trace of cold hatred - not hatred towards Lord Li, but hatred towards Xiao Jin.
He could have stopped it, but chose to acquiesce; he saw her humiliation, but chose to remain indifferent. He trampled on her dignity and treated her pain as an insignificant matter, just because she was a slave in the Imperial Tutor's Mansion, just because she was Shen Qingyue's substitute.
From now on, she would no longer have any expectations of him and would no longer do anything to humiliate herself.
She wanted to live, to live well. Not only did she want to live, but she also wanted to find out the truth about the injustice in the Taifu Mansion and make those who had hurt her pay the price.
Including Xiao Jin.
Yun Zhi stood up and walked to the bucket, rinsing her hands repeatedly with cold water until the fishy smell disappeared and her skin turned red and purple from the cold. She looked at her pale, stubborn face in the water, the teardrop mole at the corner of her eye wet with water, revealing a hint of coldness.
Outside the servants' room, the sound of stringed instruments from the main hall could still be heard faintly, lively and noisy, compared to the coldness and silence here, it seemed like two completely different worlds.
Yun Zhi clenched her fists, her nails digging deep into her palms, leaving several crescent-shaped blood marks.
She will settle her hatred and resentment bit by bit.
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