Chapter 88: The Appointment at the Palace Wall, the Final Farewell
The morning light at noon just covered the glazed tiles of the palace wall, dyeing the vermilion palace wall into a warm orange, but it could not warm the figure running wildly under the wall.
Xiao Jin practically crawled to the foot of the palace wall, his dark brocade robe stained with dust, the hem torn to shreds. His white hair lay scattered on his sweat-soaked cheeks, and the scars on his palms, where he had broken a hairpin a few days earlier, still stained with blood. He had run all night, from the prince's residence to the imperial palace, his shoes worn through and his soles bleeding, but he was oblivious. His mind was filled with the words "all is settled" in the letter, and Yun Zhi's face, fearing that if he arrived a moment too late, he would never see her again.
"Zhi'er! Zhi'er!" He held onto the palace wall, bent over and gasped violently. A fishy and sweet taste surged in his throat, but he forced himself not to spit it out. His eyes swept across the palace wall frantically.
Just then, a gust of wind blew by, bringing with it the coolness of the early morning, and blew up a piece of white clothing on the wall.
Xiao Jin's breathing suddenly stopped, he slowly stood up and looked up -
A figure suddenly appeared on the wall. She wore a plain white dress, her long hair tied loosely, and her profile, a cold, porcelain-white hue in the morning light, was Yun Zhi. She wore no jewelry, not even the broken jade pendant. Only her sleeves, lifted by the wind, looked like a cloud ready to be blown away, as light as if weightless.
"Zhi'er..." Xiao Jin's voice suddenly fell silent, his eyes suddenly reddened. All his madness and eagerness, the moment he saw her, suddenly turned into a sour taste that got stuck in his throat. "You're finally willing to see me..."
He recalled the way she looked when he first met her three years ago—dressed in the same plain clothes, beneath the laurel tree at the Marquis of Loyalty and Bravery's mansion, holding a book. When she looked up at him, her eyes shone like stars, filled with the spirit and shyness of a young girl. But now, those stars had long since faded. Her gaze was as calm as a frozen lake, not even a ripple forming when it fell on him, as if she were looking at a stranger, an insignificant passerby.
"You're here." Yun Zhi spoke, her voice as gentle as the wind, floating in the morning light, without a trace of warmth. "Earlier than I expected."
"I'm afraid... I'm afraid I'll be too late and you'll leave again." Xiao Jin took two steps forward, getting closer to the palace wall. He tilted his head, trying hard to see her expression, but all he saw was her eyes lowered, her long eyelashes casting a faint shadow under her eyes. "Zhi'er, why are you hiding from me? Why did you write 'Let's settle our grudges'? Can't we still make amends between us? I'll return the military token, and I'll take you out of the capital. We'll go to Jiangnan, to anywhere you want to go, okay?"
He spoke incoherently like a begging child, throwing out all the "compensation" he could think of, but he didn't notice the very faint, almost sarcastic curve at the corner of Yun Zhi's mouth.
"Make amends?" Yun Zhi finally raised her eyes and fixed them on him, her gaze terrifyingly calm. "Xiao Jin, do you think we can still make amends?"
Her eyes swept over his white hair, the scars on his palms, the worn soles of his shoes, and finally landed on his red eyes, but she didn't show any sympathy: "Your hair turned white, your hands were injured, and you ran all night, and you think that's made up for it? What about the child I lost? What about the lives of the 173 people in my Yun family? What about the suffering and humiliation I endured in the past three years? How can you make up for it?"
Every word was like an icicle, piercing Xiao Jin's heart. He opened his mouth to retort, but found his throat blocked, unable to utter a single word. He knew he had nothing to offer. What was lost could never be regained.
"I know... I know I owe you too much, and I'll never be able to repay you in my lifetime." Xiao Jin's voice trembled, and he finally couldn't hold back his tears, which fell on the bluestone slabs under the palace wall. "But I want to try to repay you. Even if it takes a lifetime, even if I have to work like a slave, I'm willing to do it! Zhi'er, can you give me another chance?"
Yun Zhi didn't answer, but simply took a step back, moving closer to the edge of the palace wall. The wind grew stronger, and her plain clothes fluttered even faster, as if about to fly. Xiao Jin's heart suddenly tightened at the sight of them.
"Zhi'er! Don't stand there! It's too dangerous!" He panicked and stretched out his hand to reach her, but he could only reach empty space. "Come down! Let's talk downstairs! You're standing so high, I'm afraid..."
He didn't say what he was afraid of, but the intense panic crawled up his spine, gripping his heart and making it ache. He suddenly realized that Yun Zhi's calmness was abnormal—it wasn't compromise, it wasn't forgiveness, but a complete, indifferent silence, the resoluteness that came from letting go of everything.
"Dangerous?" Yun Zhi laughed softly, without a trace of warmth in her laughter. "Xiao Jin, the most dangerous place in the world is by your side. I've been by your side for three years, and I'm no longer afraid of danger."
She paused, looking past him, toward the distant horizon. There were a few white clouds drifting slowly, as if saying a leisurely farewell. Her voice softened, a hint of barely perceptible relief in it. "I'm not here to talk about making amends, or even about opportunities. I simply want to tell you that from today on, the Yun family's grievances have been redressed, and the Shen family has been brought to justice. What I owe you, and what I owe the Yun family, is fully repaid."
"Paid off? What do you mean paid off?" Xiao Jin's panic grew stronger. He suddenly rushed over, digging his hands tightly into the bricks of the palace wall. His nails curled up instantly, and blood oozed out, staining the cracks between the bricks red. "Zhi'er, what on earth do you want to do? Don't scare me! I was wrong! I was really wrong! Come down, and we can start over, okay?"
He climbed up like crazy, his fingers rubbed by the wall until they were bloody and painful, but he didn't care. He just wanted to climb up, grab her, pull her down from the top of the wall, tell her not to do anything stupid, tell her that he couldn't live without her.
"Xiao Jin, stop climbing." Yun Zhi's voice remained calm, yet carried a sense of finality. "You can't climb up. Even if you did, you can't stop me."
She tilted her head slightly, finally looking him straight in the eye. There was no hatred or love in her eyes, only a blank emptiness, like burnt out ashes, no longer possessing any warmth. "Our relationship was over from the moment you brought me that bowl of abortion medicine. Today is just our final farewell."
"No! It's not over! No goodbyes!" Xiao Jin roared, digging his fingers tighter. He pressed his knees against the palace wall and struggled to move upwards. Blood flowed down the bricks and dripped onto his face, mixed with tears, salty and bitter. "Zhi'er, don't do this! I can't live without you! What will I do if you leave? What's the point of living?"
His roar echoed beneath the palace walls, attracting several patrolling guards, but they were frightened away by his fierce glare. The morning light grew brighter, stretching his shadow long, casting it on the palace wall like a mark of despair.
Yun Zhi looked at his frantic expression, his bloody hands, his tear-stained face. A faint wave of emotion finally flashed through her eyes, but she quickly regained her composure. She gently raised her hand and smoothed down her wind-torn hair, her voice so soft it seemed to vanish in the wind:
"Xiao Jin, it's time for you to wake up."
These words resonated like a thunderbolt in Xiao Jin's ears. He paused abruptly, looking up at her. His heart felt like it was being gripped tightly by an invisible hand, the pain so intense that he could barely breathe. He suddenly realized what Yun Zhi was about to do—she wasn't saying goodbye to him, she was saying goodbye to the world.
"No! Zhi'er! Don't!" Xiao Jin's eyes instantly turned red, his eyes bloodshot as he climbed up frantically, even faster. "Don't be stupid! I was wrong! I'll give you everything! The throne! The kingdom! I'll give it all to you! Come down! Please!"
The wind picked up, and Yun Zhi's plain clothes fluttered as if they were about to fly. She watched him madly run upwards, saw the despair and pleading in his eyes, and finally took a last look at the capital, a city filled with pain and hatred where she had spent three years. Finally, a faint, relieved smile curled up at the corner of her mouth.
"It's too late, Xiao Jin."
Her voice was as light as a sigh, floating in the morning light and falling into Xiao Jin's ears, but it was like a knife, completely cutting off all his hopes.
Xiao Jin's heart sank suddenly, and a chill ran from the soles of his feet straight to the top of his head. He watched Yun Zhi spread her arms, like a butterfly with broken wings, her body leaning slightly backwards.
"don't want--!"
He let out a heart-wrenching roar and climbed up with all his might. His fingertips almost touched the edge of her clothes, but he only grabbed onto empty space.
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