94. Unworthy
The court was buzzing with controversy over this matter. Beidi was surrounded and out of ammunition and food, and Louzhi's army was also short of food. A decision had to be made quickly.
Xuanyuan Ying sat on the dragon throne, his bulging belly making his waist look particularly broad, and his face looked a little lifeless and haggard.
The court officials spoke frankly or tactfully - they just asked him to give up Beidi and help General Lou.
"Your Majesty, the situation is urgent... Supplying food and fodder to General Lou's army is the most important matter, Beidi, Beidi..."
She pursed her lips and fell silent again.
Xuanyuan Ying's throat was a little hoarse, and he couldn't utter a word as he looked at his ministers who were all looking up at him.
His eyes were red and he was almost crying.
He knew what he wanted to say and what he was going to say.
He wanted to say, protect his Jinniang.
But what he wanted to say was to protect his people.
"Your Majesty... Please make a decision as soon as possible, Your Majesty..."
"Your Majesty, Beidi..."
Xuanyuan Ying was in a trance for a moment. The voices of the court officials arguing below became louder and louder, so dense that they almost disturbed his mind.
“Hmm—”
He paused, and felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. Xuanyuan Ying groaned suddenly, frowned, and turned pale.
He felt a warm pain between his legs, flowing down the dragon chair and his legs.
"Well……"
He couldn't help but let out a trembling sob in his throat. His sob was fragile and tiny, but the court officials below noticed it. They paused and saw Xuanyuan Ying holding his stomach with a pale face. Another moment later, they saw blood slowly flowing along the dark gold-embroidered hem of the dragon throne.
For a moment, the whole court was silent.
"Imperial Physician! Imperial Physician!"
Then there was another chaotic roar, and the court officials called for the imperial physician in panic, their faces looking defeated.
Your Majesty still has two months until her due date... How, why is she bleeding now?!
Xuanyuan Ying cried out in pain, curled up and trembled, tears flowed from his red eyes, he covered his stomach, and muttered something in a hoarse voice while crying.
"Jinniang..."
Then fainted.
There was another round of chaos.
He was worried, anxious, exhausted, and had a poor appetite, so he couldn't eat enough to meet his child's needs. The excessive pressure made him ill and he almost had a miscarriage.
Eunuch Li was crying beside him, touching Xuanyuan Ying's belly tremblingly, and murmuring to himself.
"Little Princess, please don't torment me anymore... His Majesty's body can't take it..."
He wiped his tears and found that Xuanyuan Ying was moaning. He paused, then hurriedly and carefully helped him up and handed him a sip of water.
"Your Majesty...you..."
Xuanyuan Ying rubbed his forehead, and the warm water slid down his throat, warming his stiff and cold body. He was in a trance for a moment, and looked at Eunuch Li as if waking from a dream.
"Child, is everything okay?"
Eunuch Li nodded. "Nothing, nothing. Your Majesty, as long as you take care of yourself and eat well, you will be fine..."
Xuanyuan Ying's lips were pale, and he looked particularly embarrassed. He paused and spoke in a hoarse voice.
"Yes... Beidi, Jinniang... Beidi..."
He looked at Eunuch Li expectantly. Eunuch Li's eyes were sore and his voice was choked.
"Your Majesty... While you were unconscious, the... uh... the adults had already decided to send the food and fodder to the border town..."
Xuanyuan Ying suddenly froze, then lowered his head and collapsed.
He knew it was the right decision.
The place where Lou Zhi was defending was extremely dangerous. If the barbarian army captured it, it would be easy for them to advance into the Central Plains.
Giving up the city of Beidi and saving the people of several cities in the world is worth it for everyone.
But...should Xuanyuan think so?
He loves his people, and he also loves his Jinniang. He hopes to hear "the court officials are sending food and fodder to Beidi" when he wakes up, but there is no such good thing in the world.
The lives of a city are too insignificant compared to those of a country.
One person's life is less important than the lives of all people in the world.
Xuanyuan Ying burst into tears. He grabbed Eunuch Li's shoulders tremblingly, tears streaming down his face, and his usually stern face was full of embarrassment.
"I... I, I don't want to be the emperor anymore... I, please, someone save her..."
"I don't want to be the emperor anymore... I don't want to be the emperor anymore..."
He was in a daze for a moment, struggling to get up while crying out from his pregnant belly, and staggered out in his loose undergarments, but Eunuch Li hurriedly grabbed him.
"Your Majesty! Your body can't stand the torture!"
Xuanyuan Ying staggered in a daze and was held back by Eunuch Li. He cried and trembled and choked.
"But my Jinniang... my Jinniang is trapped in Beidi... I want to go find her..."
He paused, as if he had found a life-saving straw, and looked at Eunuch Li crying, his voice trembling.
"Right... Didn't Qin Duan want me to step down? Isn't Xuanyuan He the crown prince? Let him come, let him come..."
“Please, let me go find Jinniang… Otherwise, she will die.”
"I'm going to...find Jinniang..."
I will starve to death, I will be trapped to death, and I will never see her again.
When Eunuch Li saw his miserable and crazy appearance, he suddenly felt a pang of pain in his heart and looked at him with almost grief.
"Your Majesty! You are the emperor of Daliang! You are the first male emperor in history books! You...you...wu..." He choked and hugged Xuanyuan Ying, his voice gradually becoming lower and hoarse.
"Why would you go to such lengths for love..."
Eunuch Li lowered his head, his shoulders trembling, and his throat was so choked with sobs that he could no longer make a sound.
He is the emperor who is high above everyone else.
He is the Xuanyuan Ying who has been arrogant since childhood.
How could it be... like this?
Xuanyuan Ying paused, his expression dazed, his thick black hair messy and disheveled on his tear-stained handsome face. He paused for a long time, clutching the clothes on Eunuch Li's shoulders until his veins popped out.
"But...what should I do?!"
He suddenly shouted hoarsely, almost breathless.
"That's my Jinniang! That's my wife... and in my belly... and her child..."
Xuanyuan Ying choked with sobs.
"I can't abandon the world, and I can't abandon her... I..."
"I'm not worthy of loving her, I'm not worthy... of being the emperor..."
"I don't deserve it... I don't deserve it..."
The more he spoke, the more his body trembled, and he could hardly hold on and had to be helped up by Eunuch Li.
Eunuch Li wiped his tears, took a deep breath, supported Xuanyuan Ying, and spoke softly.
"Your Majesty, I'm pregnant... The little princess can't stand the constant traveling. I beg you, please take good care of yourself..."
Xuanyuan Ying paused, closed his eyes, and for a moment he covered his stomach in a trance, feeling the warmth of life.
A lump formed in his throat.
"I……"
"But the child can't stand the constant traveling... What about my Jinniang? She's still young... she's still... she can't be buried in Beidi."
Xuanyuan Ying's eyes were blank and dazed, almost mumbling.
"I want to go find her... Really, I want to go find her..."
He staggered out, tears streaming down his face, and then suddenly, from excessive emotion, he fainted.
"I……"
Xuanyuan Ying suddenly collapsed, and Eunuch Li rushed over shouting.
This farce ended just like that.
…
Yun Zhihe looked at the smoke in the distance. Perhaps he hadn't had a good rest for a long time, so he was tired and looked really embarrassed.
...I felt an inexplicable pain in my chest.
Azhi came up, looking worried.
"Miss...we're running low on food. We've been defending for a few months, and no merchants have come in or out. Even if we save money, it's still not enough..."
Her voice became lower and lower, she lowered her head, and finally fell silent.
Yun Zhihe was in a trance for a moment, then came to his senses and frowned slightly.
"Keep the people's hearts stable and do not leak the news... I received a letter from the court saying that two batches of grain and fodder will arrive in a few days."
"Try to save some money these days."
She looked at Azhi with gentle and firm eyes.
"Azhi, I know you're unhappy. You've been holding out for months, but the court hasn't sent any reinforcements to rescue you."
"But, you should believe His Majesty, you should believe me..."
She rubbed Azhi's head.
"Go ahead."
Azhi paused, her eyes a little red, looked at Yun Zhihe twice, then turned and left to inform others.
Yun Zhihe looked at her back, was in a trance for a moment, and then looked at the beacon smoke in the distance.
The dense thoughts almost burned the blood in her heart, making her feel sour and painful. Her fingertips stroked the portrait that Xuanyuan Ying had given her, and her throat trembled.
“…How strange.”
Poets love to write about lovesickness, which has been heartbreaking and sorrowful since ancient times.
...But Yun Zhihe, the best writer in the world, couldn't write it.
She had not been able to write about lovesickness or pity before.
Only now could she understand the feeling of longing, but she still couldn't write it down.
No amount of words can describe such a long and lingering feeling, it almost seems to overflow.
If I want to write, I can only be in a daze for a day, and then pick up the pen and write something lightly.
"...Xuanyuan responded."
...and then the longing overflows.
The author has something to say:
The number of words is a bit short and I didn't catch up before midnight. qwq Something is wrong today. Did something happen yesterday?
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