Chapter 221 Selfish?
When Quan Minghe heard this, his body froze and he was visibly stunned.
He had been in power for nine years, from the time he ascended the throne at the age of eighteen to the time he met Shen Yuling.
The disputes and power games in the court unconsciously caused many changes in his style of doing things.
"I made you pregnant because I knew you loved children. You are already my empress, and I never thought you would leave me. Under this premise, I just wanted this child to fill the gap between us."
"It's not that I used this child to tie you down, because at that time, I didn't know that you had already planned to leave."
There was a hint of fatigue in his voice.
Shen Yuling seemed to have her most sensitive nerves touched. She pushed away Quan Minghe's hand on her shoulder and staggered back a few steps.
She turned her back in panic, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably.
It’s not that Shen Yuling can’t feel Quan Minghe’s love, it’s just that she doesn’t dare to believe that he can love her for the rest of his life.
She didn't want Quan Minghe to see her vulnerability, so she could only quickly wipe away her tears with her fingers.
I turned my back and tried to make my voice sound cold and firm: "It doesn't matter anymore. We each have our own lives now. We have experienced a past that the other has never participated in. I even have someone who treats me very well by my side now. We can't go back."
She paused, took a deep breath, and continued, "Whatever your majesty wants to know, I can tell you the truth."
Quan Minghe seemed to have all his strength drained away and sat down on the round stool in the pavilion.
He closed his eyes and frowned, trying his best to suppress the pain surging in his heart, and even tried to hold back the tears that were about to well up in his eyes.
After a long while, he slowly spoke, his voice as hoarse as an old clock: "The man who treats you well, Ye Jinshu?"
"You really treat him differently. Ye Jinshu has lost all memories of you. It must be related to you. You left me and used a completely new identity just to be with him?"
When the death of the emperor and empress was announced, Quan Minghe noticed that something was wrong with Ye Jinshu.
He tried to test Ye Jinshu. Ye Jinshu obviously cared about Shen Yuling, but at that moment when she should have been sad, there was no trace of sadness on Ye Jinshu's face.
Therefore, he always suspected that Shen Yuling used some means to take away part of Ye Jinshu's memory when she left.
"Shen Yuling, you are using Shen Yangxi's body to be with Ye Jinshu. Aren't you afraid that I will be hurt to pieces?"
"Am I so strong in your heart that I can remain indifferent no matter how you hurt me?"
Quan Minghe's voice was still as low as ever.
But the tears that he had forced back still slid down his cheeks.
His eyes seemed to be stained with blood, and were completely red. Between his eyebrows, there was a complex emotion of hostility and grief.
However, Shen Yuling, with her back to him, could not see anything.
Shen Yuling stood there, holding the handkerchief tightly in front of her.
Her mind was in a mess, and in fact she herself didn't even know what she was doing.
Ye Jinshu accompanied her for two years, and during these two years, he took great care of her.
She was used to Ye Jinshu's kindness and even regarded him as her own property.
She and Kwon Myung-hyuk had been entangled for two years in order to complete the mission.
At first, Quan Minghe was cold and distant to her, which aroused her competitive spirit and made her want him to fall in love with her, but all this was just to better complete the task.
How can they talk about love when their intentions were impure from the beginning?
She watched Quan Minghe sink step by step into her gentle trap, but she always remained indifferent.
After restoring Shen Yangxi's memory, Shen Yuling pretended to be sober and deliberately did not regard Quan Minghe as the brother Minghe whom she once loved deeply, and tried her best to hide and remove all her love.
From Quan Minghe's perspective, she first used the identity of Shen Yangxi to make him forget about herself, and then she used the identity of Shen Yuling to scheme against him again and make him fall in love with her again.
Shen Yuling felt that all this was so absurd and ridiculous, and she also knew that she had hurt him.
So she could only force herself to treat Shen Yangxi and Shen Yuling as two people, otherwise, she would be the only one torn apart by pain.
Shen Yuling's throat was dry, and she spoke with difficulty: "I don't want to hurt you, I would rather you don't know that I am Shen Yangxi."
Shen Yuling is self-aware.
She was full of calculations, and she was fighting with Feng Moheng for the mission. She was with Ye Jinshu for a little comfort in her heart. But for an emperor like Quan Minghe who was so high and mighty, was she worthy of staying with him?
But now, Quan Minghe, who has been changed by power and his past, is no longer the gentle and doting lover who can walk side by side with her. Quan Minghe is not worthy of the current Shen Yuling.
They are like two tracks that once intersected, but are now staggered and drifting further and further apart.
Forcing themselves to stay together again would only hurt each other again.
Quan Minghe's heart felt as if it was stabbed by a dagger, and the sourness and bitterness intertwined together, almost drowning him.
"If I let you go, who will let me go?"
These seven years, a world without her, was like a long and tormenting nightmare to Quan Minghe.
He worked tirelessly in the court every day to handle state affairs and deal with the open and covert struggles among various forces.
After leaving the court, they devoted their heart and soul to raising their children carefully.
Every day and night, he struggles with longing and pain, and all this is because of the woman in front of him whom he loves and hates.
Shen Yuling could make Ye Jinshu lose his memory, but only retained his memory. Why?
I'm afraid it's for their son.
She relied on his love for her, so she was sure that he would pour this love into their children without reservation.
"Shen Yuling, you are really selfish to the extreme."
"But no matter what you become, I have only loved you from beginning to end."
Upon hearing this, Shen Yuling looked blankly at the fish swimming happily in the pond.
They shuttle carefree among the water plants, seemingly unaware of the love, hate and hatred in the world.
Are you selfish?
Shen Yuling has always felt that this word is more like a compliment to her.
Only by being selfish can you avoid getting hurt, right?
However, at this moment, she suddenly realized that even though she had tried hard to wrap herself in a hard shell and tried to hurt others to protect herself, in the end, she could not escape the trick of fate.
When she came to this world, she regarded everything as a play. She thought she could always stay sober and watch from a distance. However, she did not expect that she would be deeply involved in it without knowing it and unable to extricate herself.
Is she not ruthless enough?
She sighed softly, her voice full of fatigue and helplessness, "I'm sorry..."
At this moment, apart from this pale apology, she really didn't know what else to say.
But when she thinks about it carefully, it seems that it is not all her fault. If the system had not brought her into this world, how could there be so many entanglements and pains?
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