Chapter 23 Worrying snowflakes drifted past her ears and temples; she gripped Gu tightly…
She put Gu Zhan's outer robe on the ebony clothes rack to the side, and while waiting for Gu Zhan's reply, she did not dare to look up.
Not far away, the incense burner still held the scent of spring amidst the snow, and wisps of white smoke curled up along the openwork of the burner, slowly spreading the subtle fragrance of sandalwood and agarwood into the air.
The hall was silent, but Shen Mi felt inexplicably uneasy, unsure whether it was because of the warm underfloor heating or something else.
Gu Zhanben was sitting on the edge of the bed. When he heard her ask about having children, he paused in taking off his boots, but his expression was not surprised. After arranging the black boots, he asked Shen Mi, "Is this the Empress Dowager's wish, or do you want to have a child with me?"
Shen Mi was surprised by Gu Zhan's question and felt conflicted. She knew she needed to say what Gu Zhan wanted to hear, not what she wanted to say herself.
As everyone knows, Gu Zhan was born to the Empress. If she told the truth that this was the Empress's will, Gu Zhan would inevitably feel that she was using the Empress's will to force him, which would make him unhappy for no reason. After thinking for a moment, she said in a low voice, "It is I, it is I who want to be a real husband and wife with Your Highness, and I really want to have a child with Your Highness." Her voice grew softer and softer, and even her cheeks were slightly hot.
Gu Zhan sat upright, looking at the woman standing next to the clothes rack.
She stood by the floor lamp next to the clothes rack, the dim yellow light casting a slanted shadow on her, reflecting her graceful figure on the ground.
Her hair was loosely tied up, and her makeup was light and subtle. The narrow-sleeved, lotus-colored undergarment vaguely revealed the hazy scenery beneath. Her slender waist could be encircled with one hand, and she stood obediently before him, her hands clasped, more pitiful than the magnolia in the Ru kiln porcelain vase behind her.
Gu Zhan glanced at her once before looking away.
From a young age, he was bound by Confucian and Mencian teachings. Everyone taught him that a gentleman should be self-disciplined, restrained, and patient, so he had little desire for matters of the heart and had never engaged in any sexual activity before meeting Shen Mi. A few years ago, the Empress had sent several palace maids to the Eastern Palace, supposedly to help him get acquainted with the women, but he had Sun Cheng send them back to the Empress. However, he didn't exactly reject them, so when Shen Mi came to the Hall of Diligent Governance to find him, he didn't refuse, although they were interrupted by official business.
He gave a soft "oh" and did not directly answer Shen Mi's question.
Seeing that he didn't refuse, Shen Mi assumed it meant he tacitly agreed. After hesitating for a long time, she slowly moved over there.
As she sat down next to Gu Zhan, she flicked her fingers out from her sleeve, leaned forward slightly, and reached her fingertips to touch Gu Zhan's sash, but Gu Zhan caught her hand.
Gu Zhan lowered his eyes and asked her, "What are you doing?"
Shen Mi didn't want to spoil Gu Zhan's interest like she had done in the Qin Zheng Hall last time. Even though her heart was pounding in her throat, she still raised her head and smiled at Gu Zhan, saying, "This concubine will help Your Highness change his clothes."
After saying this, she recalled the actions of the women in the booklets that Instructor Wu had shown her before she got married, and leaned into Gu Zhan's arms.
Gu Zhan never expected that Shen Mi, who was usually too shy to speak loudly in front of him, would be so bold this time. Shen Mi's cheek rested against his shoulder, bringing a special, refreshing fragrance that was sweet but not cloying.
When she leaned softly against his chest, he was almost caught off guard and instinctively grabbed her waist.
Shen Mi's heart pounded, but unexpectedly, Gu Zhan held her waist and straightened her body.
From nervousness to unease, and now to bewilderment as she looked at Gu Zhan, she gently bit her lip: "Your Highness?"
Her breath was as sweet as orchids, and her voice was naturally soothing and gentle.
Gu Zhan's breath hitched for a moment. He casually pulled the quilt from the bed over himself and said, "Let's rest early tonight. I have to set off tomorrow on official business. I need to leave at dawn, and I'm afraid I won't make it in time."
Shen Mi was taken aback. She remembered that Gu Zhan had returned late tonight, arriving at Qingluan Palace after midnight. He had then spent some time reading the official documents Sun Cheng had brought over at the table in Qingluan Palace, and after bathing and changing, it was probably close to 1-3 AM. Less than an hour before 3 AM, Gu Zhan said there wasn't enough time...
After realizing what had happened, her face burned even redder; how could anyone not feel embarrassed?
But he wanted to ease the rising tension, so he asked Gu Zhan, just like his mother used to worry about his father when they were at home, "May I ask what's wrong, Your Highness? Is everything safe?"
Gu Zhan suppressed the restlessness in his heart. When he saw Shen Mi's slightly furrowed brows and worried expression, he had a sudden thought and did not hide anything from her: "Dingzhou suffered a snow disaster before the New Year, and then an earthquake triggered an avalanche. Father sent me to provide disaster relief."
"Snow disaster." Her glistening lips parted slightly, and the eyelashes of her affectionate eyes trembled gently.
Gu Zhan was surprised that Shen Mi would get up, and his gaze involuntarily shifted towards her.
She bent down with her slender waist and rummaged through the trunk. Before long, she brought a pair of knee pads to Gu Zhan.
Shen Mi did not look up. "I originally planned to give these knee pads to Your Highness after they were finished in a few days. There are still some cloud patterns on them that I haven't finished embroidering. But since Your Highness is going to Dingzhou for disaster relief, I thought I should give them to Your Highness now. I have never been to Dingzhou, but the winters in Yanzhou are extremely cold. I imagine Dingzhou is not much different. Without knee pads, it is easy to catch a cold."
Gu Zhan was slightly surprised by Shen Mi's calmness. Her intimate moment was abruptly interrupted, yet she was able to accept it. After hearing the news that he was going to Dingzhou for disaster relief, she even took out a pair of knee pads for him, just like a gentle wife, telling him to be careful in everything.
He reached out and took the pair of knee pads. The stitches were fine and dense. When he put his hand inside, the downy fabric felt warm. Although Shen Mi's cloud pattern was not quite finished, he could see that there was nothing imperfect about it.
He placed the knee pads beside the pillow, took Shen Mi's wrist, and helped her sit back down beside him, saying, "Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Get some rest."
Shen Mi lay down beside him, the bed curtains were drawn, and he closed his eyes, but he was not sleepy.
When Shen Mi said he wanted a child, if it was the Empress's wish, he might have pretended to get away with it, but he himself did not want an illegitimate eldest son.
After all, the Prince of Wei dares to openly and secretly compete with him now. Not to mention that many court officials support the Prince of Wei, even the Emperor condones this behavior. This is simply because the Prince of Wei is the eldest son of the Emperor, five or six years older than him, and has been involved in court affairs earlier. He does not want such a thing to happen again in twenty years. Unless there are special circumstances, he does not want to have a son born out of wedlock before the birth of his true eldest son.
Thinking of this, Gu Zhan turned his head to look at Shen Mi, who was fast asleep on the inside and breathing long and steady, and sighed.
It must have been difficult for her.
Shen Mi was a light sleeper. When Gu Zhan got up around 3 a.m., she felt that there was no one beside her. When she opened her eyes, Gu Zhan had already dressed himself. She sat up, still hugging the quilt, with weariness in her eyes.
Gu Zhan fastened the jade buckle on his belt himself. Seeing her action, he casually asked, "Did I wake you up?"
Shen Mi slowly shook her head. Seeing that Gu Zhan hadn't touched the knee pads placed beside his pillow, she lifted the covers, got out of bed, and handed the items to Gu Zhan, saying, "Your Highness, remember to bring them."
"I haven't forgotten."
Shen Mi squatted down, parted Gu Zhan's long robe, and tied his knee pads on for him.
Gu Zhan lowered his eyes, staring at her slightly messy head, a strange emotion welling up in his heart, and said in a rare gentle tone, "Alright, it's not dawn yet, continue to rest."
Shen Mi stood up, hesitated for a moment, and said, "This concubine would like to see Your Highness off."
Gu Zhan didn't refuse, and was about to say to be careful not to catch a cold when Shen Mi had already pulled a heavy cloak over her shoulders and put it in front of him.
She escorted Gu Zhan all the way to the gate of the East Palace, but Gu Zhan told her that she didn't need to see him off any further and that it was over.
But she knew that Gu Zhan's journey to Dingzhou was long and arduous, and he might encounter another avalanche. There might even be riots among the disaster victims in the affected areas... She didn't want anything to happen to Gu Zhan.
So just as Gu Zhan was about to grab the reins and mount his horse, Shen Mi ran up and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.
She was very worried about Gu Zhan, this time, regardless of whether he would push her away in public.
She whispered, "Your Highness, you have returned safely."
Snowflakes drifted down her sides, and she clutched the hem of Gu Zhan's clothes tightly.
A note from the author:
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