Chapter 27. Guilt.
Shen Mi found it hard to accept this, and simply buried her face in Gu Zhan's shoulder and cried uncontrollably.
Gu Zhan patted her back gently, feeling a pang of unease in his heart.
He recalled how he instinctively jumped into the Taiye Pond to save Shen Mi. When he was pulling the water plants that were wrapped around Shen Mi's ankles, he saw traces of blood spreading in the water. At first, he thought it was blood from his own hands, but the blood spread out more and more, and then it followed the lake water little by little.
After all, they were connected by blood. For a moment, he even felt that he should drown in the water along with that child.
But he couldn't. He hadn't yet taken his seat in the Taiji Palace, nor had he yet brought his biological mother out of the bitterly cold imperial mausoleum.
When Yang Ping proposed this plan to him that day, he immediately opposed it, but later Yang Ping came to him again.
He initially said, "What does it matter if it's three months later? At that time, I will just say that the child is weak from birth and cannot be exposed to the wind, and that I will not allow anyone to come to the Eastern Palace. The Emperor and the Empress will understand."
But Yang Ping hit the nail on the head.
Yang Ping asked him, "If Your Highness allows this child to be born, do you intend to repeat the conflict between you and the Prince of Wei today in ten or twenty years?"
He said coldly, "I will make my own decisions about what happens next."
Yang Ping sighed again, "Enough. I am merely Your Highness's uncle. Your Highness should think carefully about the pros and cons, the country and the beauty, which is more important?" He changed the subject and suddenly said, "Two days ago, I went to the imperial mausoleum in disguise under the arrangement of Su Zhanshi and met my sister. Your mother said that she misses you very much and wants to see you one last time."
Gu Zhan suddenly remembered that he and his mother had not seen each other for more than ten years since Consort Yang was "convicted and sent out of the palace," and his heart ached.
On one hand, there was his mother, whom he felt guilty about and had never been able to take care of, and on the other hand, there was his unborn child. He found it very difficult to choose.
So at that critical moment, he did not stop the Princess Consort of Wei's actions.
He even harbored a sliver of hope that Taiye Pool wasn't deep, and perhaps he could rescue them in time.
Shen Mi was unaware of the details of the matter; she was simply saddened and grieving for the child she had lost.
After several sobs, she even had trouble breathing, and her abdomen spasmed again, causing cold sweat to break out on her forehead, and her hand involuntarily covered her lower abdomen.
Gu Zhan noticed her movements, let go of her, and saw that her face was pale and she was biting her lip tightly. He immediately panicked.
"Cheng Lin! Call Cheng Lin over here!" With that, he adjusted his position so that Shen Mi could lie in his arms.
Since Shen Mi was carried back to the East Palace by Gu Zhan yesterday, Cheng Lin has been serving there and has not dared to return to the Imperial Medical Bureau. When he heard Gu Zhan calling him, he immediately entered the palace.
Gu Zhan saw Cheng Lin's figure and said, "No need for formalities, let's take each other's pulses first."
After kneeling by the bed to take Shen Mi's pulse, Cheng Lin said, "Your Highness, you are currently at your weakest point after the incident and cannot withstand any stimulation. Please be understanding and do not let your mood become depressed, otherwise it may lead to illness. I will prescribe some soothing and blood-nourishing prescriptions for you to take on time."
Gu Zhan nodded and added, "Either add more sugar cubes, or change a few of the medicinal herbs, and make sure it's not too bitter."
Cheng Lin agreed, but he was puzzled. Wasn't Gu Zhan asking him for the prescription for the contraceptive soup just a few months ago? Why was he so concerned about Consort Shen now?
But he only dared to question it in his heart and didn't dare to say it out loud.
Seeing that he seemed to have more to say, Gu Zhan asked, "Is there anything else?"
Cheng Lin casually remarked, "Your Highness should also take good care of your health."
Gu Zhan hummed in acknowledgment and waved for Cheng Lin to leave and prepare the medicine.
Shen Mi had calmed down a bit, and upon hearing Cheng Lin's words, she couldn't help but ask Gu Zhan, "Has Your Highness been staying by my side the whole time?"
Gu Zhan noticed the tear stains on her face from crying earlier, raised his hand to wipe them away, and said, "She is, after all, an orphan's child."
Mentioning the child, sorrow returned to Shen Mi's eyes. Without looking at Gu Zhan, she asked softly, "I remember, when I fell into the water, I heard someone shout, was it the Princess Consort of Wei who pushed me?"
Gu Zhan choked up, but still used the well-known excuse to deny it to Shen Mi: "It was the Princess Consort of Wei. She gave birth to a daughter and was afraid that you would give birth to a son for me. She has always harbored malicious intentions. She had been sending various invitations to see you at the East Palace, but I did not agree. However, you had to appear at the Thousand Autumns Banquet, and she took advantage of the chaos to push you into the water. But your maid saw it."
Shen Mi was somewhat stunned. No wonder that on the day of the Thousand Autumns Banquet, when the Princess Consort of Wei spoke to her, she kept bringing up the child in her womb.
Gu Zhan added, "But don't worry, with witnesses present, Princess Wei has no way to defend herself. Harming the imperial heir is a grave crime. The Emperor immediately ordered Prince Wei to divorce her, strip her of her title as Princess Wei, demote her to commoner status, and order her to commit suicide."
Shen Mi's eyes lit up slightly as she looked at Gu Zhan: "So, she's dead?"
Gu Zhan's Adam's apple bobbed: "No, the Emperor sent her to the Daxiangguo Temple as a criminal to practice Buddhism and pray for the country."
Shen Mi was overcome with grief and tried to break free from Gu Zhan's embrace upon hearing this: "Why? She killed our child, so why is she still alive and well?"
Gu Zhan hugged her tighter: "Shen Mi, calm down. After the incident, Prince Wei immediately pleaded for her, saying that he had been married to her for many years, and she had managed the entire palace for him and given birth to two daughters. She had worked hard even if she had no merit, and he hoped that His Majesty would forgive her, as his two daughters could not be without their mother."
Shen Mi said in disbelief, "Why? Her child can't be without a mother, so must I swallow this injustice?"
Gu Zhan said, "Consort Li also knelt down to plead for mercy. Prince Wei said that if she were to be executed, he would also ask His Majesty to strip him of his title of Prince. He also bears responsibility for this matter. As you know, His Majesty intended to pit Prince Wei against me, and ultimately agreed."
Shen Mi listened quietly, then gave a bitter smile. The art of emperors was nothing more than this.
In the balance of power, human life is of no importance, even if that life belongs to a royal heir.
She felt only sorrow, yet hated herself for being powerless.
Tears streamed down her face again.
She murmured, "Is this what they mean by the most ruthless imperial family?"
Gu Zhan didn't respond to her comment.
Shen Mi remembered that Gu Zhan and the Prince of Wei were political enemies, and came to her senses, saying, "I misspoke."
Gu Zhan let her lean against him and said, "It's alright. The Prince of Wei and she have been married for nearly five years, so perhaps there is some affection between them."
Without thinking much for a moment, Shen Mi said softly, "Speaking of which, it has been almost a year since I married into the Eastern Palace."
She married Gu Zhan last November, and now it's August. In three months, it will be a year since then.
Thinking this to herself, she tugged at Gu Zhan's sleeve and looked up at him, asking, "What about Your Highness? Does he have even a little bit of affection for me?"
Gu Zhan's hand froze.
He hadn't thought about this question before, and for a moment he didn't know how to answer Shen Mi's question.
Just then, Cuiwei brought up a bowl of soup. Gu Zhan looked away and took the Ge kiln lotus petal porcelain bowl from the tray, avoiding the topic of Shen Mi: "I've made angelica, red date and black chicken soup. Cheng Lin said that you need to replenish your qi and blood right now, so I used the angelica that the Empress Dowager sent. Would you like some?"
Shen Mi didn't have much of an appetite, but Gu Zhan was unusually tender in front of her, so she finally nodded gently and moved closer to him, saying, "Thank you, Your Highness."
Gu Zhan held her in his arms, scooped up a spoonful, blew on it gently to test the temperature, and then brought the spoon to Chen Mi's lips. "Be careful, it's hot."
Shen Mi didn't speak, but sipped the soup that Gu Zhan fed her.
She had just asked Gu Zhan a question, but Gu Zhan didn't answer. Instead, he turned around and fed her soup spoonful by spoonful. She thought she already knew the answer to that question.
It is said that even a day as husband and wife brings a hundred days of kindness, and Gu Zhan is no longer as cold to her as before.
As she drank the soup Gu Zhan fed her, a sudden wave of bitterness washed over her.
After finishing the soup, Shen Mi gradually felt a bit weak, so Gu Zhan helped her lie down and carefully tucked her in.
"I'll come see you again later."
Not long after Gu Zhan returned to the Hall of Diligent Governance, Sun Cheng said that Yang Ping requested an audience, and Gu Zhan asked Sun Cheng to invite him in.
After the door closed, he nodded slightly to Yang Ping: "Uncle."
After exchanging courtly greetings with Gu Zhan, Yang Ping sat down below Gu Zhan and said, "Your Highness has endured humiliation and hardship for so many years, and you must have a plan in mind. Although it was the Princess Consort of Wei who pushed Consort Liang into the water and harmed the imperial heir, in His Majesty's eyes, Prince Wei must have been involved. This time, Prince Wei has lost the Emperor's favor, which is extremely beneficial to Your Highness."
Gu Zhan had dark circles under his eyes, and he just closed his eyes, pressed his brow, and remained silent.
He didn't need to tell Yang Ping the truth, but Yang Ping's words made him wonder: Shouldn't the Princess Consort of Wei have concluded that Shen Mi's pregnancy was fake? How did she know that Shen Mi was truly pregnant?
This matter still needs to be investigated further.
After he brought Shen Mi back to Qingluan Palace yesterday, he stayed by her side all night without leaving. When the night was deep and quiet, he must have gone mad, because he heard a child crying and calling him "Daddy." His sleepiness vanished instantly.
At this moment, he merely responded indifferently to Yang Ping's statement of the facts.
Yang Ping replied, "I only heard that when His Majesty wanted to execute Princess Wei, Prince Wei pleaded for her. However, perhaps he was reluctant to give up the support of Princess Wei's father, the Transport Commissioner of Xijing Road, and tried to gain some favor, but he overlooked His Majesty's wishes."
Upon hearing this, Gu Zhan recalled how he had comforted Shen Mi in the Qingluan Palace, telling her that the King of Wei had feelings for the Queen Consort of Wei. Now that Yang Ping was saying the same thing, his thoughts became somewhat complicated. He answered Yang Ping without opening his eyes, "That's probably one of the reasons."
Yang Ping didn't waste time on this topic and asked, "So what are Your Highness's plans next? Will you take advantage of the Emperor and Empress's mercy before making any further moves?"
Gu Zhan said, "This matter is still in turmoil, so let's keep a low profile for now."
After a period of recuperation, with Cheng Lin taking care of her and Gu Zhan seemingly coming to Qingluan Palace to accompany her whenever he was in the East Palace, she felt that her body was recovering very quickly.
On ordinary days in the palace, she would also copy Buddhist scriptures for the unborn child, hoping that he could enter the cycle of reincarnation as soon as possible. While she was copying Buddhist scriptures, Gu Zhan would also have official documents sent to Qingluan Palace for review. Occasionally, Gu Zhan would also take a scripture from her and copy some of it.
Shen Mi asked him in surprise, "Your Highness is busy with official duties, so I'll take care of you."
Gu Zhan did not return the scriptures to her, and said calmly, "You are busy with official duties, so take this opportunity to calm your mind."
Shen Mi had no choice but to let him do as he pleased.
Sunlight streamed in through the window, falling on the table in front of Gu Zhan, casting half of his face in shadow and the other half in light.
Neither of them spoke, each simply going about their own business.
Sometimes when Shen Mi looked up, she would see Gu Zhan like this. Thinking of the rumors about Gu Zhan, who was described as handsome and refined, it seemed that he was indeed a suitable match.
She couldn't tell whether Gu Zhan's current attentiveness to her was because they had been married for almost a year and there seemed to be little distance between them, whether it was the affection that others mentioned growing over time, or because of Gu Zhan's guilt over losing his child.
But she also felt a sense of satisfaction.
One day, she met Su Xingjian in the East Palace. Only then did she realize that she hadn't seen Su Xingjian much during the months she had been bedridden and recuperating.
Gu Zhan used to mention Su Xingjian to her, but he hasn't lately.
Therefore, she was somewhat surprised when she saw Su Xingjian.
Su Xingjian remained calm as usual, not mentioning her sad story, and only said: "I accompanied my mother and Yuzhao to worship Buddha some time ago, and also added an ever-burning lamp for Liangdi."
Shen Mi was moved and smiled as she thanked Su Xingjian.
Su Xingjian paused for a moment before saying, "It was nothing, nothing to mention."
During dinner, Shen Mi thought of Su Xingjian's words and mentioned it to Gu Zhan. She said that she couldn't let go of the child and wanted to go to Daxiangguo Temple to light some eternal lamps for the child and listen to a high monk preach for a while, as a way to help the child pass on.
Gu Zhan frowned slightly when he heard her mention the Great Xiangguo Temple.
Shen Mi thought he was unwilling: "If Your Highness is busy, I can go alone. It's just that I keep dreaming about him lately, and I just want to put my mind at ease."
Gu Zhan relaxed his brow and chuckled lightly, "Ziyou is quite thoughtful."
It seemed like he cared about the child even more than he did.
Shen Mi did not notice the unusual tone in Gu Zhan's voice, and simply replied, "Master Su has always been like this."
Gu Zhan glanced at Shen Mi, a hint of melancholy creeping into his eyes.
A few days later, Gu Zhan took a day off and rode with Shen Mi to the Daxiangguo Temple.
The temple, which was adorned by the royal family, was bustling with worshippers. Shen Mi burned the Buddhist scriptures she had copied during this time in front of the Buddha, and added an ever-burning lamp for the child, hoping that the child would have a good place to go in the next life.
But after a short while, she felt a little dizzy and told Gu Zhan that she wanted to go out for some fresh air to calm down.
Walking into an open space, she took a deep breath and felt better, but then she saw someone in the distance who looked like the Princess Consort of Wei.
Princess Wei asked her from afar, "Sister Shen, do you really think that I was the only one who pushed you that day?"
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Author's Note: Sorry for the lateness, I'll be giving out 10 red envelopes for this chapter. [Pity][Pity]
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