Chapter 35 "I ask you, is this kiss disgusting?"...
Sun Cheng had been by Gu Zhan's side for many years, and when had he ever seen His Highness the Crown Prince so out of control? But he only paused for a moment before following after him.
Shen Mi sat by the window, on the table was the zither that Gu Zhan had given her last year. Because of this zither, she had secretly developed feelings for Gu Zhan. It was also because she had played "Guan Shan Yue" on this zither late at night that Gu Zhan began to show her some tenderness.
If only this zither didn't exist, she wouldn't have had unwarranted expectations of Gu Zhan from the beginning, and she wouldn't have only realized now that she had entrusted herself to the wrong person.
But this zither is made of the finest paulownia wood; it takes countless years to find such a piece of solid wood of such high quality.
Shen Mi's fingertips caressed the body of the instrument. Out of love and care, she ultimately couldn't bear to completely destroy it. Instead, she picked up the scissors beside her and pressed them against the strings.
When Gu Zhan pushed open the door of Qingluan Palace without a care in the world, he saw this scene.
He noticed that Shen Mi was holding scissors in her right hand, the sharp tip of which was pointing directly at the inside of her left wrist.
"Shen Mi!" He tried to stop Shen Mi's actions with this, and he had already taken a step in Shen Mi's direction.
Shen Mi ignored him. Then, with a "snap," the string snapped in the middle and broke apart.
When Gu Zhan saw her movements and realized that it was just a snapped string on the zither, rather than a wrist bleeding profusely, he actually felt a sense of relief.
Thankfully, she didn't commit suicide.
Shen Mi still held the scissors in her hand. Hearing Gu Zhan's voice and footsteps, she only turned her head slightly and asked, "Your Highness is here?"
As she spoke, she spread the scissors open again and pressed them against the thicker string on top.
"Why did you cut the strings?" Gu Zhan stared at her actions.
Shen Mi paused in her movements, then opened her lips: "Perhaps, the strings of the zither are broken, and the threads of love are severed."
Is the bond of love broken?
Gu Zhan suddenly clenched his fist at his side, and with his other hand he reached out and snatched the scissors from Shen Mi's hand, throwing them to the ground.
Shen Mi glanced at the pair of scissors that Gu Zhan had thrown on the ground, paused for a moment, and then slowly looked up at Gu Zhan: "What is Your Highness doing?"
Her weak voice made Gu Zhan frown. "I think you want to commit suicide."
He uttered the last two words very softly, as if carrying a silent sigh.
Shen Mi stared at him for a while, then smiled.
Gu Zhan underestimated her too much. She would never commit suicide; she would definitely find a way to escape and live a good life.
Gu Zhan felt a tightness in his throat when he saw the girl's unfamiliar smile.
Because although she was smiling, her eyes no longer shone with the hopeful light they used to; they were just dull and gloomy.
"What are you laughing at?"
"Your Highness feels things haven't gone as planned since I didn't die?" Shen Mi's eyes reddened slightly. "Or is it that Your Highness came today so that I could depart on my own?"
Gu Zhan's expression darkened. "What nonsense are you spouting? How could I possibly let you die?"
He just wanted her to be more obedient, to stop worrying about Su Xingjian, and to soften her stance towards him. He figured the things that had happened over the past few months could be wiped clean.
"Nonsense?" Shen Mi's smile faded, but she quickly accepted Gu Zhan's attitude. "Indeed, Your Highness is an upright and honorable gentleman in public. If Consort Shen Mi had committed suicide, wouldn't that be bad for Your Highness's reputation? But if she died in childbirth, things would make much more sense, wouldn't they?"
She forced herself to sit up. "Aren't you also regretting saving me from Taiye Pond at the Emperor's birthday banquet last year? If I had drowned in the pond, wouldn't that have fulfilled your wish? Anyway, you can't tolerate me, and you can't tolerate my child either."
Gu Zhan narrowed his eyes slightly: "You knew everything?"
Did she know the truth about what happened at Taiye Pond? Who told her? How could she know?
Shen Mi had no idea what he was thinking. She tried to speak, but instead clutched her chest and coughed violently.
Having just caught her breath, she glared at Gu Zhan with eyes filled with tears and hatred: "What do you know? I know you're a complete hypocrite."
Gu Zhan didn't let her finish speaking. He immediately reached out and pulled her into his arms, patting her back to soothe her.
But when his palm touched the girl's back, he couldn't help but be taken aback.
After three months apart, Shen Mi had indeed lost a lot of weight, just as Sun Cheng had said. The moment his palm touched her, he felt that her shoulder blades were a little hard to the touch. When she was standing in front of him, Gu Zhan didn't notice it much, but when he put his arms around her, he clearly realized that the person in his arms was much thinner than before.
Shen Mi struggled incessantly in his arms, so he held her even tighter.
In the summer, his clothes were thin, and the warm tears quickly seeped through his clothes, growing hotter and hotter as they penetrated, burning his heart.
Gu Zhan's breath hitched, and without saying a word, he picked the person up.
"Let me go, put me down."
"Let me go."
Gu Zhan ignored the resistance of the person in his arms and simply carried her to the bed.
When he picked her up in his arms, he was shocked to realize that Shen Mi had become so emaciated.
As her back pressed against the soft bed, Shen Mi suddenly chuckled, her hands falling to her sides, and she stopped resisting.
"Once Consort Shen becomes pregnant, her child can be raised under Miss Su's care." Yang Ping's words echoed in her ears again.
She wondered why Gu Zhan, who had been in the Qingluan Palace for three months, had suddenly come to the palace; it turned out it was for this very reason.
She closed her eyes, waiting for Gu Zhan to press down on her.
However, things did not go as she had imagined. Gu Zhan simply instructed the door: "Go to the Imperial Medical Bureau and summon Cheng Lin. Start another kitchen and cook some..." He paused slightly, then suddenly realized that, after nearly two years of marriage, he was completely unaware of Shen Mi's dietary preferences.
He pressed his fist to his lips, coughed lightly, and then said, "The dishes that Consort Shen likes."
Qiu Ping, who was guarding outside the door, agreed.
Gu Zhan looked at Shen Mi and was met with her tearful eyes.
He reached out to wipe away Shen Mi's tears, but she turned her head away, avoiding his movement, leaving his hand hanging in mid-air.
Then, Gu Zhan heard Shen Mi say coldly, "I don't need your pretense."
Gu Zhan thought he had already given Shen Mi enough face today. He thought that if she just said a few kind words as gently and considerately as before, they could go back to the way things were. But she didn't appreciate it at all.
First they denounced him as a hypocrite, and now they say he's a fraud.
"Hypocritical?" Gu Zhan laughed angrily, scooped the person up from the bed, and locked him in his arms.
Shen Mi was powerless to resist and could only ask him, "Isn't that so?"
"Very well, very well then tell me, who is a true gentleman, and who is not hypocritical? Su Xingjian?"
Shen Mi frowned slightly. She didn't understand why Gu Zhan always mentioned Su Xingjian in front of her.
She looked away, not wanting to see Gu Zhan.
Gu Zhan forced her to turn her head, pinching her chin, "Why won't you look at me? The person in front of you is me, not Su Xingjian. Does that make you so upset?"
Hearing him repeatedly mention Su Xingjian, Shen Mi's eyes went vacant for a moment, and the few remaining images of him flickered before her eyes.
The young man who guided her through the snow on New Year's Eve, the young man who offered her a snow-covered branch under the plum tree, the young man who protected her in the bright spring sunshine...
After a long while, Shen Mi finally regained her senses and gently opened her lips: "Gu Zhan, you really disgust me."
The air fell silent for a moment.
Shen Mi's words sent a chill down Gu Zhan's spine.
He released his grip on Shen Mi's chin, moved his hand to the back of her neck, forcing her to raise her head and lift her face, and then kissed her lips, which were almost bloodless.
She instinctively tried to resist and pound on the man's chest, but the man only managed to grab both her wrists with one hand.
Gu Zhan seemed very angry, almost stealing her breath, leaving her only able to make "mmm" sounds.
It was a kiss, but it didn't feel like a kiss. It was more like a biting revenge, until a bloody, rusty taste spread to the tip of her tongue, and only then did Gu Zhan give her a chance to breathe.
"I ask you, is it disgusting?" His breath fell on Shen Mi's neck.
Shen Mi did not answer him, but only opened her lips and breathed softly.
In this corner, no one spoke, only breathing could be heard.
After a while, Qiu Ping's voice broke the silence, "Your Highness, Physician Cheng has arrived, and the porridge is ready."
Gu Zhan calmly ordered, "Come in."
Cheng Lin only glanced at it from the doorway and knew that the matter at hand was not something he could ask too many questions about. He lowered his eyes and stared at the top of his boots the whole time.
"Take her pulse."
When Cheng Lin draped the silk handkerchief over Shen Mi's wrist, he clearly saw the red marks and fingerprints on it, and his eyelids twitched.
Your Highness went a bit too far.
But he could only keep these words to himself. He then placed his fingertips on Shen Mi's wrist, and after a moment, put away the silk handkerchief. He bowed his head before Gu Zhan and said, "Your Highness, Consort Shen's illness is not physical, but mental. Mental illness requires mental medicine. She also needs to pay attention to her diet and eat something. She can't just rely on medicine to keep her going. If this continues, I'm afraid..."
Gu Zhan was somewhat irritated: "What are you afraid of?"
Cheng Lin pursed his lips, "I'm afraid my life is in danger."
His words stirred up a storm across the lake.
Gu Zhan glanced at Shen Mi, tightened his grip on her, and her eyes seemed to flicker for a moment.
It was only for a moment.
He took a deep breath: "I know, you may leave."
Cheng Lin didn't dare linger and immediately packed up his medicine kit.
Gu Zhan didn't look outside the door, but ordered, "Bring up the cooked congee."
Qiu Ping brought up a tray, and Gu Zhan took the bowl with one hand and told her to leave.
He pressed the rim of the bowl against Shen Mi's lips, his tone curt: "Eat."
Shen Mi did not move.
Gu Zhan pushed the bowl forward again, "Don't make me urge you a second time. You heard what Cheng Lin said just now. If you continue to degrade yourself like this, I can transfer Su Xingjian out once, and I can transfer him out a second time. You will never see him again. Similarly, I can bring Lu Lin back once, and I can bring him back a second time."
Shen Mi looked at him, and moved her lips, "You are so ruthless?"
Gu Zhan did not deny this point. "So, you can try and see how many people will buy into your spirit."
Shen Mi's eyes, which had been like a stagnant pool, finally revealed a hint of disbelief.
"If you stop disobeying me because of Su Xingjian, I might consider lifting your house arrest." Gu Zhan asked her to sit up.
As Shen Mi listened to his words, she gradually came to her senses.
As long as Gu Zhan lifts her house arrest, she will have a chance to escape instead of being locked up in this place every day.
Her voice was slightly hoarse, and she only managed to utter one sentence: "Okay."
Then, with Gu Zhan's hand, she swallowed the porridge that Gu Zhan fed her in small sips.
After finishing the bowl of porridge, Shen Mi was a little tired, so Gu Zhan didn't keep her any longer and still instructed Qiu Ping to take good care of her.
After that day, Gu Zhan would visit Qingluan Palace every few days. If it were a year ago, she might have felt moved and overjoyed by Gu Zhan's actions, but now she felt no such emotions at all.
She didn't know when it started, but she found that dealing with Gu Zhan was a very tiring thing.
Seeing that she was eating obediently, Gu Zhan's tone was not as harsh as before. He would occasionally bring her some small trinkets from outside, but she couldn't muster any interest in them.
When the Dragon Boat Festival arrived on May 5th, Gu Zhan finally agreed to take her out of the East Palace because there was a Dragon Boat Festival banquet in the palace.
She was finally able to bask in the sunlight outside.
There is a leap month in the fourth lunar month before the Dragon Boat Festival, so this year's Dragon Boat Festival comes later than usual, and the weather is also warmer.
Shen Mi felt as if she had been in another world.
As she passed Taiye Pond, Shen Mi subconsciously took a step back. This was the place where she had almost died last time, and she was terrified.
But she was also drawn to the koi leaping out of the pond. The koi's scales shimmered like gold in the sunlight, so vibrant and alive.
Gu Zhan noticed her gaze and asked in her ear, "What's wrong?"
Shen Mi slightly curled her fingers, hesitated for a long time, and said, "I want to feed the fish."
Gu Zhan was stunned for a moment. This was the first time in a long time that Shen Mi had told him what she wanted to do.
He instructed Sun Cheng, "Bring fish food."
Sun Cheng smiled and agreed, and soon after, he took out a small box containing fish food.
Gu Zhan handed the box to Shen Mi, but his hand did not leave her waist.
He saw the girl pick up some fish food, flick her wrist, and sprinkle it onto the water. The koi in the pond leaped up to grab the food, which made the girl in his arms chuckle.
He was also moved.
Just then, a man in an official robe stood a few steps away and greeted Gu Zhan, saying, "Greetings, Your Highness."
Gu Zhan glanced at the person, released Shen Mi, and said, "Stay here for a while and don't move around. I won't be gone for long."
Shen Mi responded softly.
Not long after Gu Zhan left, Shen Mi heard a voice that wasn't unfamiliar.
"Why is Consort Shen feeding the fish here?"
Shen Mi turned her head and saw Su Yuzhao.
Because of what had happened recently, she always felt a strange mix of emotions whenever she saw Su Yuzhao, but it wasn't affection, so she took two steps back.
As she retreated, she almost slipped and fell into the pond, but luckily Su Yuzhao reacted quickly and pulled her up, though most of the fish food in her hand spilled.
Still shaken, she thanked Su Yuzhao, saying, "Thank you, Miss Su."
Su Yuzhao smiled, her eyes crinkling, "It's nothing, it's just a small favor. I'm glad Consort Shen is alright."
Shen Mi nodded slightly, without saying a word.
Su Yuzhao then released her wrist. "I heard that Consort Shen was seriously ill some time ago. I wanted to visit you at the East Palace, but His Highness wouldn't allow it. Now you seem to be much better?"
“She is much better,” Shen Mi said, slightly surprised by her words, and asked, “Miss Su has been to the East Palace?”
"I did come, but His Highness coldly turned me away," Su Yuzhao shrugged.
Gu Zhan was cold to Su Yuzhao? Su Yuzhao didn't seem to mind at all, and was even quite friendly to her?
Shen Mi frowned slightly, pursed her lips, and finally couldn't help but ask, "Miss Su, do you have no feelings for His Highness?"
Su Yuzhao glanced at her and quickly understood what she wanted to ask. She smiled and said, "Consort Shen, you are overthinking it. How could I like such a cold person? My heart belongs to someone else."
Shen Mi parted her lips slightly.
Su Yuzhao, with his hands behind his back, looked at the koi in the pond and said with a smile, "He was adopted by my father in the Su family when he was young, so he can be considered my sworn brother. His name is Song Zhaohuai. In a few months, he will return from the north at the end of the year."
Shen Mi never expected that while everyone said Su Yuzhao was the future Crown Princess, Su Yuzhao actually had someone else she loved.
"Yu Zhao, what are you doing here?"
Upon hearing this clear voice, Shen Mi looked in the direction of the sound and indeed saw Su Xingjian.
When Su Xingjian saw her and noticed the bracelet on her wrist, he looked slightly awkward for a moment, but quickly greeted her.
Shen Mi nodded in agreement. After not seeing Su Xingjian for several months, she didn't know what to say to him. She just awkwardly asked, "I heard that Su Zhanshi was discussing marriage recently. When is the wedding date set?"
"A marriage proposal?" Su Xingjian was taken aback, then smiled and said, "It was originally just an arrangement by our parents, but the girl and I both had someone we loved, so after we talked it out, the matter was dropped."
Shen Mi smiled in response, "I see."
"So lively?"
Upon hearing this, Shen Mi's back stiffened.
Even without going to see it, she knew that Gu Zhan was angry.
-----------------------
Author's Note: Yu Zhao has an official pairing! [Let me see]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
