Chapter 44 44 "If it's a mistake, why don't you dare meet my gaze?..."
Although Shen Mi's fever had subsided, she was not fully recovered. The doctor advised her to rest more, which is why she wrote to Su Xingjian. Unexpectedly, Su Xingjian made a special trip from Yangzhou to Runzhou because of her illness.
She was slightly moved, and even more grateful when she saw the tonics Su Xingjian had brought.
Although she had seen countless such things when she was in the Eastern Palace, it is always more difficult to provide help in times of need than to add to someone's good fortune.
Su Xingjian raised his hand to stop her from adding tea. "That's enough. You're not feeling well to begin with, so don't move around too much. I can do this little thing myself."
Shen Mi nodded, took off the cloak that Su Xingjian had draped over her shoulders when he entered, and carefully folded it.
Su Xingjian held his teacup, watching Shen Mi's retreating figure, and said, "Take care of yourself first. Don't worry about the academy; I'll go and explain things to them."
Shen Mi responded softly, and was about to speak when Cuiwei's voice came from outside.
"Oh dear, it's raining again. Luckily I ran fast, otherwise I would have caught a cold and no one would have taken care of you, my wife!" Cuiwei's voice grew closer and closer until she pushed open the door.
She paused for a moment after seeing Su Xingjian sitting in the room before greeting him.
Shen Mi heard Cuiwei mention that it was raining, so she turned her head to look out the window and saw that it was indeed drizzling outside.
She looked at Su Xingjian and said, "Brother Ziyou, you seem to have come in a hurry without an umbrella. If you're not in a rush to return to Yangzhou, why don't you take shelter from the rain here for a while?"
Su Xingjian did not refuse, but he was very polite and did not look around Shen Mi's room. He only talked to Shen Mi about things related to the academy.
The autumn rains were incessant, and even after more than an hour, when it was time for Shen Mi to take her medicine, the rain did not stop but instead grew heavier. The lotus flowers growing in the earthenware jars in Shen Mi's courtyard were also bent under the weight of the rain.
After hesitating for a while, Shen Mi finished her medicine and instructed Cuiwei, "Cuiwei, go and clean up the guest room next door in a bit."
Both Cuiwei and Su Xingjian were taken aback.
Su Xingjian had visited many times before, but this was the first time Shen Mi had not turned him away and had even let him stay overnight.
Cuiwei asked, "Does Madam intend to keep Prefect Su at home?"
Su Xingjian immediately said, "Isn't that inappropriate? After all, I'm an outsider, and it would be strange for me to stay at your house..."
Shen Mi pursed her lips. "Brother Ziyou made a special trip from Yangzhou to Runzhou to visit me, but he encountered this incessant rain. I see that the rain won't stop anytime soon, and now it's getting dark. I'm going back to Yangzhou in the rain late at night. The roads are slippery in the rain, so if anything happens, it will be my fault."
Su Xingjian hesitated for a moment, but still insisted, "No need, I can find a restaurant to rest for the night, so I won't trouble you."
Shen Mi was about to speak, but couldn't help coughing first, covering her mouth.
Su Xingjian rose from his seat. "Is there something wrong? Should we call a doctor to take another look?"
He knew that Shen Mi's health had not been good since she had suffered those months in Bianjing Palace four years ago. Although she had been recuperating in Runzhou and had almost recovered in the past few years, he was always particularly worried about Shen Mi's illness.
Shen Mi slowly shook her head. "It's a small matter. They say that illness comes like a landslide and goes like pulling silk. This is perfectly normal." She paused and then said, "Since I am in Runzhou and have guest rooms at home, if I were to send my son to stay at an inn, wouldn't I be failing in my duty as a host?"
Su Xingjian didn't want to refuse Shen Mi's kindness, and seeing that she didn't look well, he thought that if something happened in the middle of the night, he could help her out, so he finally agreed.
Cuiwei quickly went to the next room to tidy up the bedding and then came over to invite Su Xingjian.
Su Xingjian slept in a guest room separated from Shen Mi by only one wall, and he was inevitably a little nervous. In addition, he was worried about Shen Mi's illness, so he didn't sleep very well that night.
As dawn broke, he saw that the rain outside had stopped. Unable to sleep any longer, he quickly got up, washed up hastily, and prepared to go out.
Shen Mi was awakened by a cough and heard the sound of the wooden door of the next room being gently pushed open. She guessed that Su Xingjian was about to leave. Out of courtesy to her guest, she got up, put on her clothes and slippers, her black hair half-loose, took an umbrella, and pushed open her own door.
Su Xingjian didn't want to disturb Shen Mi, but Shen Mi still noticed him just as he was about to leave. He heard the woman calling him "Brother Ziyou" from behind, so he hurriedly turned around and saw the woman lifting the hem of her skirt and running towards him.
He had already half-pushed the door open and was about to leave when he stopped. When he saw that Shen Mi's hair was not properly combed, he hurriedly looked away.
Shen Mi stood two steps away from him and handed him the umbrella, saying, "I'm afraid it might rain again on the way, so please take this umbrella, just in case."
Su Xingjian didn't dare look at Shen Mi. He took the umbrella from Shen Mi's hand and said, "I didn't want to wake you, but you came out to see me off. It's getting chilly, so you should go back quickly."
Shen Mi nodded, watched Su Xingjian leave the courtyard, and then turned back.
A restaurant in Runzhou.
Gu Zhan's face was gloomy as he stared at the calm tea soup. He said, "Say what you see."
Yang Qing swallowed hard before saying, "Prefect Su went into that courtyard in Huaxi Lane yesterday and didn't come out all night. This morning, when he was about to leave, the lady Shen who lived there even came out with an umbrella to see him off."
"So, Su Xingjian spent the night inside?" Gu Zhan sneered.
Yang Qing dared not answer.
The next instant, Gu Zhan swept the teacup aside, the tea splashing in the air, and the teacup rolled to the corner of the wall.
Yang Qing was so frightened that he didn't dare to breathe.
He entered the Eastern Palace to serve Gu Zhan four years ago after Su Xingjian took office in Yangzhou. Although he had never met the rumored Consort Shen, he knew that Consort Shen was the Crown Prince's Achilles' heel. No one dared to mention her in the Eastern Palace. He was also unaware of the past and entanglements between the two, but the Crown Prince's grief when Consort Shen perished in the fire was witnessed by almost everyone. No one expected that Consort Shen would not die, but would come to Yangzhou and have a close relationship with Prefect Su.
What happens when a man stays overnight at a woman's house is almost self-evident.
No wonder His Highness the Crown Prince was so furious.
Gu Zhan gently pressed his temples. "Keep an eye on Huaxi Lane. Don't miss a single detail."
Yang Qing accepted the order and withdrew.
Gu Zhan opened the window and looked in the direction of Huaxi Lane, his expression complicated.
He thought Shen Mi was dead, so he wrote her epitaph, carved her monument, and remained a widower for four years, abstaining from women for her sake. But she actually ran away from Bianjing all the way to Runyang and had a daughter with Su Xingjian.
No wonder that child was so afraid of him and so close to Su Xingjian; no wonder her eyes resembled Shen Mi's; no wonder Su Xingjian, already in his thirties, ignored Prime Minister Su's urging for marriage and hid in Yangzhou.
What makes him unable to let go of the people of Yangzhou is clearly that Yangzhou is his haven of gentle comfort.
A gust of wind blew in through the window, making Gu Zhan a little more awake.
"Shen Mi, do you think I'll let you play tricks under my nose this time?"
Su Xingjian rode his horse all the way back to Yangzhou, and finally arrived at the Yangzhou government office before dawn.
As soon as he entered, the servant who had been following him said casually, "My lord, as you instructed, I have inquired with the restaurant where His Highness is staying. The restaurant owner said that His Highness checked out yesterday and should have left Yangzhou."
Su Xingjian responded.
That's good. At first, he was worried that Gu Zhan, with his suspicious nature, would stay in Yangzhou for a long time until he saw Shen Mi. Now it seems that he should go south on official business and it is not convenient for him to stay in Runyang for too long. He has already returned to Huizhou and is preparing to return to the capital.
Shen Mi listened to Su Xingjian's advice and decided not to worry about the Yangzhou Prefectural School for the time being. She stayed at home to recuperate, and Madam Xu brought Yao'er to visit her every day, bringing her meals that were good for her recovery. As a result, she recovered quickly.
The Shen family teahouse outside the city had been closed for a long time, and there were still two days before the next class at Yangzhou Prefectural School. Shen Mi planned to reopen the teahouse with Cuiwei. However, since Yao Jie'er recognized her as her godmother, she had been coming to the house with Madam Xu every day and had become very familiar with her. She also insisted on going with her.
Madam Xu was worried that Yao Jie'er would disturb her, but Yao Jie'er clung to Shen Mi's arm and wouldn't let go.
Seeing Yao'er's blinking eyes, Shen Mi found it hard to refuse, so she said to Madam Shen, "If Sister Xu is willing to entrust Yao'er to me, that would be the best thing. Yao'er is very well-behaved and won't cause trouble."
After hearing what Shen Mi said, Madam Xu gave Yao Jie several more instructions before letting Yao Jie go with her.
As soon as autumn arrives, it always rains in the Runyang area. Even though the rain has stopped today, there aren't many people out and about. When Shen Mi arrived at the teahouse, she and Cui Wei moved all their things out, put the teahouse flag back up, and did some chores while boiling water.
Gu Zhan had already instructed Yang Qing to keep an eye on Huaxi Lane. When he saw Shen Mi leave in a carriage, he followed her out of the restaurant and rode his horse all the way to the teahouse outside Runzhou City.
He saw the words "teahouse" on the flag hanging on the roof and immediately recognized it as Shen Mi's handwriting. When he got closer and saw the ink marks on the white silk framed in bamboo in the courtyard, he was even more certain.
Everything will soon come to light.
Yang Qing asked him from behind, "My lord, shall we go straight there?"
Gu Zhan replied, "No need. She deceived me first, so I must have her come over."
He eagerly awaited the expression on his "deceased wife's" face when she saw the "deceased husband" she spoke of.
Yang Qing immediately fell silent. Following Gu Zhan's instructions, he sat at a table not far from Gu Zhan and said to the inside, "Bring a pot of loose tea."
Shen Mi and Cui Wei did not recognize Yang Qing and regarded him as an ordinary passerby.
Cuiwei replied, "Please wait a moment, I'll be right there!"
Shen Mi took out a tea cake from the house, and Yao Jie'er circled around her knees, asking her questions about tea preparation, which she answered patiently.
Yao Jie'er still wasn't very good at saying "godmother." Every time she opened her mouth wide, she found it difficult to say the word "god," but she could say "mother" very clearly.
Shen Mi didn't care about these things. After all, she was just a child. She thought that after a while, Yao-jie would get used to it and start talking.
"Mother, I've heard Father talk about West Lake Longjing tea before, is this it?"
Shen Mi followed her gaze and chuckled, "You're wrong. West Lake Longjing tea is a rare and precious tea. Our teahouse doesn't sell this kind of tea."
Gu Zhan saw and heard this harmonious scene clearly.
What friend's child? This kid keeps calling Shen Mi "Mother," Su Xingjian really knows how to deceive him.
Shen Mi taught Yao Jie'er to recognize tea cakes for a while. She glanced up and saw a man sitting at a table in the corner. He seemed to have been sitting there for a long time, but he didn't say what he wanted.
She was puzzled, and vaguely felt that the man's figure was somewhat familiar, but his face was covered by the white silk she had hung in the courtyard as decoration, so she couldn't see him clearly.
She wanted to call Cuiwei over to take a look, but Cuiwei seemed unable to leave the other guests, so she got up from her seat and said, "Sister Yao, I'll go over there and see what that guest wants, okay?"
Yao nodded obediently.
Shen Mi had already taken a few steps in that direction, but she still felt uneasy, so she turned back, took a veil from the teahouse, put it on her head, picked up a cup of tea she had just ordered, and walked over there.
Gu Zhan clearly saw her patience with the child and her hesitation when she was about to come over.
But the more he did this, the more composed he became.
It's more like a hunting experience.
Shen Mi walked to the table, but didn't get too close, and asked softly, "Would you like some tea, sir?"
The man reached out his hand to her.
Shen Mi handed the teacup in her hand to the man, saying, "Please enjoy, my lord."
The man didn't take it; instead, he took out a folding fan from his waist and used the fan head to brush away the curtain she was wearing.
She hadn't expected the man's actions, and by the time she tried to dodge, it was too late; she accidentally knocked the teacup to the ground.
"I didn't hold it properly, my lord, please wait a moment while I go and make another cup." Shen Mi said as she was about to leave.
A voice suddenly came from behind: "Stop."
Upon hearing this sound, Shen Mi was almost unable to move.
Panic, fear, terror—all these emotions surged into her heart in an instant.
She wanted to leave, but her legs were too weak to move.
The sound of the stool moving behind them scraping against the stone slab was particularly jarring.
Then, the man walked around to her and slowly lifted the veil she was using to cover her face.
Gu Zhan finally saw those eyes he had longed for day and night.
He grabbed the person's sleeve and whispered, "Zhi Niang."
Just those two words were enough to remind Shen Mi of the past she didn't want to recall at all.
Since leaving the Eastern Palace, it has been a very long time, and no one has called her by her childhood name. In Runyang, Su Xingjian calls her "Xiao Mi"; the students at the prefectural school call her "Teacher Shen"; the neighbors in Huaxi Lane call her "Madam Shen"; Madam Xu, who is on good terms with her, calls her "Sister Shen", but no one calls her "Zhi Niang".
The deep voice, like the death knell of the King of Hell, lingered in her ears and heart. She hurriedly stepped aside, "My lord, you've mistaken me for someone else..."
Gu Zhan took in all her emotions. He grabbed Shen Mi's wrist and pulled her to within half a step of him, asking, "If you've mistaken me for someone else, why don't you dare look me in the eye?"
Gu Zhan's fingertips were slightly cold, and the strength with which he gripped her wrist left her no room to resist. The chill traveled up Shen Mi's wrist and down her spine. She lowered her head and said, "My lord has truly mistaken me for someone else. I do not know anyone like you."
"What kind of person is he?" Gu Zhan pressed on relentlessly.
Shen Mi did not answer.
Gu Zhan raised his hand and knocked the curtain she had hastily put on her hair to the ground. "Chen Mi, take another good look. Do you even recognize me?"
Cuiwei saw Shen Mi's curtain fall to the ground, turned her head to look this way, and was startled when she saw Gu Zhan's face, "Your Highness?"
Gu Zhan was locked in a stalemate with Shen Mi, staring at her face and ignoring Cuiwei completely.
Yao Jie'er, who was playing on the side, also saw it, dropped the tea ball in her hand, and threw it over here.
She only recognized Gu Zhan as the person she had seen in Yangzhou that day. Innocently, she blurted out, "Bad guy, don't hurt my mother!"
Upon hearing this, Gu Zhan looked at Shen Mi with an ambiguous expression and chuckled, "Shen Mi, you're quite capable."
Shen Mi knew there was no way to avoid it today, so she forced herself to calm down and said to Cuiwei, "Cuiwei, go and take the flag down. Take Yao'er home first, don't worry about me."
Cuiwei refused, "But my lady..."
Shen Mi interrupted her, "There's no 'but' about it. Take Yao'er back. Also, keep this from Ziyou for now, don't tell him."
Seeing that Shen Mi's tone was resolute, and fearing that Yao Jie'er might really rush forward without thinking, Cui Wei had no choice but to agree to Shen Mi's request.
Gu Zhan's purpose was not with Yao Jie'er and Cui Wei, so he didn't ask Yang Qing to stop them and let them go first.
Knowing that this was not a place for him to stay, Yang Qing also left the teahouse.
In an instant, only Shen Mi and Gu Zhan remained in the large teahouse.
At this moment, heaven and earth returned to silence, without a sound.
Shen Mi looked at her wrist, which Gu Zhan was holding, and said softly, "You're hurting me."
Gu Zhan frowned slightly, noticing the red marks on Shen Mi's arm, and loosened his grip a little.
Shen Mi noticed his movement, shoved him away, and turned to leave.
"Where else do you think you can go?" Gu Zhan asked coldly.
Shen Mi kept retreating.
Gu Zhan let her retreat, but pressed closer step by step.
Why did you lie to me?
A cold wind blew into her sleeves, and Shen Mi pulled them tighter.
Gu Zhan wouldn't let her off the hook, "Why do you say you don't know me?"
Shen Mi had already retreated into the teahouse room.
Gu Zhan forced his way in, closing the door behind him, his gaze never leaving Shen Mi: "Why don't you dare look at me?"
Shen Mi staggered until her lower back hit the edge of the cabinet, leaving her with nowhere to retreat.
She held her breath, as if she could hear her own heartbeat.
Gu Zhan leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her between himself and the cabinet, as if he had personally built her an inescapable cage.
Shen Mi took a deep breath. "Gu Zhan, our past is over. Please don't bother me anymore."
"Entanglement?" Gu Zhan smiled and glanced at her. "Haven't I told you that you belong to me in life and in death? Even on your tombstone, only my wives and concubines will be engraved."
Shen Mi pursed her lips. "Gu Zhan, I am doing very well in Runzhou now. The former Consort Shen has perished in that fire. From now on, we will go our separate ways. You go back to Bianjing to be your Crown Prince and marry your noblewoman. I will be my countrywoman. We will have nothing to do with each other."
"Country bumpkin? Whose woman? Su Xingjian's?" Gu Zhan's smile, which was already unreadable, gradually turned cold. Then he reached out and pressed the back of Shen Mi's head, turning her head to face him.
Shen Mi was furious that even after four years, Gu Zhan was still so petty and suspicious of her relationship with Su Xingjian. She said angrily, "Gu Zhan, can you stop dragging him into everything?"
Gu Zhan's thumb rubbed against her neck. "I thought you had no emotions right now, but it turns out you just didn't mention the right person. Is Su Xingjian that important to you? You even specifically told the maid next to you not to tell Su Xingjian."
Shen Mi frowned as she looked at him, her eyes showing some impatience.
Gu Zhan watched as she tried to turn her head away. He applied a little force to her, preventing her from doing so. Then he straightened up and controlled her movements, forcing her to raise her face and look at him. She was not allowed to look anywhere else except at his face.
"Why don't you want Su Xingjian to know? Are you afraid he'll come and see you like this in my arms?"
Shen Mi looked at Gu Zhan in disbelief, "Gu Zhan, don't speak so harshly. Not everyone is like you, with such a filthy mind and despicable methods."
Gu Zhan laughed angrily, "So eager to protect his reputation? When you were hiding here with him, why didn't you think about your reputation? Why didn't you think about the fact that you were still alone?"
She even has a daughter with Su Xingjian, yet she still turns around and criticizes him?
"Shen Mi, how come I didn't know you had such abilities before?" Gu Zhan's thumb moved from her slender and delicate neck to her lips.
"Not only that, you even dare to tell your neighbors that you are a widow, so that you are hoping for my death so that you can elope with Su Xingjian?" Gu Zhan lightly brushed against the woman's lips, which were not adorned with lipstick. "But Shen Mi, he won't even give you a title, and you are willing to stay with him in this rural place, greeting people with a smile every day for his sake?"
When had Shen Mi ever suffered such humiliation?
Even though she and Gu Zhan had fallen out to such an extent back then, Gu Zhan had never insulted her with such words.
"Gu Zhan, you drove me to suicide four years ago, but you didn't kill me. Now you're chasing after me again to kill me once more?"
Seeing the tears welling up in the woman's eyes, Gu Zhan felt as if his lungs were being pricked by needles.
He looked into Shen Mi's eyes, thinking of everything in the Eastern Palace, and his hand suddenly paused.
In the years since Shen Mi left him, he often dreamed of her looking at him with tears in her eyes, and he would often wake up in a fright, only to be left with a sense of loss.
So, he loosened his grip a little.
"Be obedient and come back with me. I can forgive and forget what you've done," Gu Zhan said calmly.
Shen Mi saw his arrogant and haughty demeanor, as if she should belong to him for life, while he, Gu Zhan, still didn't know what he wanted.
This time, she didn't deliberately avoid Gu Zhan's gaze. Looking at him, she slowly uttered the words: "Gu Zhan, I won't go back with you because you disgust me."
Apart from Shen Mi, no one had ever dared to speak to him like that before.
Gu Zhan, who had loosened his grip slightly, tightened his hold on Shen Mi's neck from behind again. He retorted, "Who doesn't disgust you? Su Xingjian?"
Gu Zhan stared at her, a hint of anger rising in his eyes.
He pressed his lips against Shen Mi's, "In four years, how many times has he touched you here?"
Shen Mi tried her best to avoid his movements. She had no intention of explaining to Gu Zhan, nor was it necessary, but she did not want Gu Zhan to tarnish Su Xingjian's reputation, nor did she want Gu Zhan to tarnish the friendship between them.
She said, "Whether you believe it or not, there is nothing wrong between me and Ziyou."
Gu Zhan lowered his head and pressed his forehead against hers. "It's simple to prove your innocence: come back to Bianjing with me. Otherwise, I won't let either Su Xingjian or that child get away with it."
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Author's Note: I feel everyone's enthusiasm, let's slowly build up the fire! [Let me see][Let me see]
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